Zukaang Week 2013: Day 2 - Memories
Zukaang Week Day 2: Memories
Title: Avatars of the Elements - Bad Memories
Type: AU Fanfic
Characters: Zuko, Aang, Toph, Jet
Rating: T
Warnings: Zuko-angst, mentions of past bullying and soul mutilation
Summary: Aang isn’t sure if he’s still a magical girl. Zuko is morally questionable but sympathetic.
Aang felt that he could get used to living a normal life after Zhao’s defeat and following destruction. He’d had his doubts for a few days, but Aang found himself looking forward to uneventful days at school and around town instead of new battles against the Phoenix Kin. Especially with his guilt over the General’s death still on his mind, albeit fading.
The fact that he had a new and very decent distraction in the gruff but interesting bookstore keeper was a huge help on that front, of course. It was nice to help someone and Aang was keen to find out how far Zuko had gotten with straightening up the shop.
“I didn’t know high school students had so much free time on their hands,” a familiar voice commented once Aang stopped outside the bookstore. Startled, the teen whirled around to see Toph smirking at him. “Don’t you have a test to study for, Airhead?”
“You have the same test coming up you know,” Aang grumbled grudgingly, glowering at his friend disapprovingly. “Did you follow me all the way from school?”
“You were brimming with expectancy all day, I got curious.” Toph shrugged. “So, what’s it about this shop that’s got you so pumped up?” The pale green eyes scanned the store windows and narrowed. “Wow, that looks like a painful scar.”
Aang shot a glance in the same direction but only saw Zuko shuffling between the book cases. “I don’t see a scar…”
Toph scoffed and Aang flushed in embarrassment. Of course he couldn’t see it; Toph didn’t see like normal people. When she looked at a person she didn’t see skin, hair or eyes or even the clothes they were wearing. She saw emotions, memories and thoughts, the things that people were really made of as far as she was concerned.
It had taken Aang a while to get Toph to tell him how her version of sight worked. They had been classmates before they became friends but Toph had always done her best to push him away. Aang had never let it make him give up even when he’d been frustrated by it. When Sokka had started insisting that Toph was one of the Avatars of the Elements Aang had once again been encouraged to redouble his efforts to befriend the girl, hopeful that Toph could also feel the connection of their common magic.
Despite the growing bond between Toph and Aang the girl had never become more receptive to people in general. Aang couldn’t really blame her for it; he’d heard the things their classmates would say about Toph. ”She never looks anyone in the eye. It’s so rude,” and “She always knows what you’re thinking, she’s such a freak,” were the least of it. So it wasn’t surprising that the justification Toph gave for not really minding her ability was: “It’s a lot better than looking at their mugs for sure.”
So when Toph said she saw a scar on Zuko, she meant an emotional one. And it did explain a great deal about Zuko’s mannerism. He hadn’t been outright unfriendly towards Aang, simply guarded.
“That’s Zuko; he works here,” Aang explained. He hesitated for a moment before adding: “Do you want to meet him?”
“Nah.” Toph shook her head. “I do actually have to study to do well in exams so I’ll go take care of that.” The girl gave Aang’s arm a tap with her fist. “I’ll embarrass you some other time.” She then walked off with a wave.
Aang made his way to the shop entrance. The door was open but the sign on the door still read ‘closed’. Most likely Zuko still hadn’t managed to get everything in order. Aang peeked inside and called out: “Zuko? You have a moment?”
The young man appeared between a pair of shelves with a deep scowl on his face. It looked more confused than angry, however, and Zuko murmured: “I know you… You’re that kid from the other day.”
“The name’s Aang,” Aang reminded the man as he stepped into the shop. “And I’m not that much of a kid, especially when compared to you.” Aang tilted his head in confusion. “Speaking of which, is it just you here? You seem awfully young to be in charge of a shop on your own.”
“I’m setting everything up for my uncle, actually.” The answer came more easily than Aang had expected. Apparently Zuko was more willing to open up today, even with minimal prodding. “He hurt his back setting the shelves so I’m helping with the rest of the heavy lifting.”
“So are you a student somewhere in the city? Or just visiting?” Aang decided to see if Zuko was ready to share some more with him. Because he really was wondering why someone who looked like he belonged in a college was working in a bookstore.
Zuko hesitated for a moment, looking strangely lost, until he finally spoke, rather quickly: “I’m on a break from school at the moment.”
“Okay then.” Aang made his way further into the shop, glancing around. “Do you still need help with anything? Everything looks close to being in order. Are you opening soon?”
“Slow down a bit.” Zuko wasn’t laughing in any shape or form, but he did sound amused and Aang grinned at him broadly. “The shop won’t be opening until my uncle returns.”
“That does make sense.” Aang nodded. “So, how about that help? Need any?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” The answer was a lot less defensive than it had been last time, most likely more honest too.
“Glad to hear it.” Aang moved his weight from one foot to another, unsure how to proceed. “Um, do you mind if I still stop by every now and then, to see how you’re doing?” He gave the older male a hopeful look.
Zuko looked caught off guard. “Why would you want to?” The pale blush spreading on the youth’s cheek couldn’t be hidden behind a perpetual frown. “I’m not exactly good company.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Aang smirked cheekily. “My being willing to return is proof to the contrary, isn’t it?”
“I won’t be here all the time, though,” Zuko insisted. “I’m in town for more than just moving assistance.”
Aang smiled widely and eagerly. “I walk past this place every day on my way home from school. It won’t take long to take a peek inside.”
“How about I just leave the door open for you if I’m in?” Zuko suggested, face softening in acquiescence. “I could actually use the company.”
“Great!” Aang practically bounced on the balls of his feet. “I’ll leave you to your work for now and I’ll be back tomorrow then.”
“If you must,” Zuko replied, although there was no sting in the tone behind the words. In fact, the man even lifted a hand in what was almost a wave in response to Aang’s own energetic handwaving before the boy left back through the door.
---
He was being stupid, Zuko concluded as he watched Aang leave again. He was going to be very busy with plotting the revealing of the Avatars’ identities soon; it wouldn’t do to have a mortal running around taking up his time. Even though it would ease the loneliness of being stranded here among these Other Kin, these magicless humans.
On the bright side, it did reveal the serious holes in his cover story. Of course he looked too young to be in charge of a store. The part of the story about him helping his uncle in the store was actually true, though; Uncle Iroh most likely had his own reasons for relocating into the city where the Phoenix Kin were conducting their operations. However, there was no student record of him in existence. Perhaps he should enrol on some courses at the nearest college in case Aang tried to track down where he studied. He wouldn’t want his only friend stumbling into secrets that would get him killed.
Even if Aang probably didn’t consider them friends just yet. His soul pulsed with kindness that Zuko could feel through the gem in his armband. Aang was most likely just the kind of person who would help a new arrival settle in, albeit he was rather pushy about it. Zuko was actually used to pushy people and Aang’s rather forceful attempts at making him feel at home were doing just that.
Speaking of pushy people, there was one such person who should have arrived in town by then. While his uncle wouldn’t stop him from doing what he had been instructed to do, he couldn’t ask him for help either, so he had to rely elsewhere for backup.
Zuko stormed to the back of the store, feeding a touch of magic to the stone statue of a phoenix. The skyward pointed wings of the statue acted as frames to the magical window that appeared.
“Jet,” Zuko snapped at the swirling vortex of magic. “Jet, answer me! Where are you?”
“Hey, easy there, Short Fuse.” A familiar lazily smiling face appeared in the window. “What’s got you so worked up?”
“The fact that you’re late would be a good reason,” Zuko answered heatedly. “I’ve been waiting for you whole day. What’s keeping you?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Are you even taking this mission seriously?”
The smile on Jet’s face vanished, the other man regarding Zuko with a worried look. “Are you really going to go through with this?”
“Are you really asking me this?” Zuko shot back. “You know my dedication is absolute.”
Jet’s expression turned sorrowful and Zuko felt anger roiling at the pity he saw. “You really don’t think you’ve given the big boss enough pieces of yourself? Soon there’ll be nothing left.”
“Your job is not to question me!” Zuko’s voice rose at the reference to what had happened before, before he had been granted this chance to redeem himself in the eyes of the Kin. “Your job is to command my spirits!”
“Because the chief didn’t leave you enough magic power for you to do it himself,” Jet cut in. The other could probably see the threatening rage on Zuko’s face even though the magic of the window they were speaking through, since he immediately conceded: “I’ll be there tomorrow, okay? Just, entertain yourself until then; get to know the locals a bit.”
Not even bothering with a farewell, Zuko fluttered his fingers and the magic window vanished. He was breathing heavily, trying to reign in his anger. Shot Fuse, Jet had called him. Such nicknames were something he rarely tolerated but let Jet get away with more often than others. However, bringing up his past was off-limits even for him. They were allies, after all, not friends.
Zuko leaned his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes. And to think just a few moments ago he was eagerly making plans. Now he was a wreck, all because of his memories. The memories of what he once had, of how he had lost a part of his soul when their leader had torn out his magic, leaving him with nothing more than parlour tricks in comparison to what he had once been capable of.
He thought he could be Aang’s friend? He was broken, half of what he was supposed to be. And if he wanted to be whole again, to be worthy of other people, he needed to earn the right to his magic back. He had to find the Avatars of the Elements and wipe them out.
--
Author’s Notes: This chapter was really hard. I wrote two different versions of Toph’s ‘sight’ and then settled for the one here. I figured that in a genre shift Toph’s ability would have to be different to match the different genre.
I also feel like Zuko wallows a bit too much at the end there, but I wanted to make clear what memories the theme was referring to here. Oh well, it’ll be better next time and maybe it’ll be less Zuko being desperate for human contact and more Aang actually being Zuko’s friend instead of just fascinated with him.
Title: Avatars of the Elements - Bad Memories
Type: AU Fanfic
Characters: Zuko, Aang, Toph, Jet
Rating: T
Warnings: Zuko-angst, mentions of past bullying and soul mutilation
Summary: Aang isn’t sure if he’s still a magical girl. Zuko is morally questionable but sympathetic.
Aang felt that he could get used to living a normal life after Zhao’s defeat and following destruction. He’d had his doubts for a few days, but Aang found himself looking forward to uneventful days at school and around town instead of new battles against the Phoenix Kin. Especially with his guilt over the General’s death still on his mind, albeit fading.
The fact that he had a new and very decent distraction in the gruff but interesting bookstore keeper was a huge help on that front, of course. It was nice to help someone and Aang was keen to find out how far Zuko had gotten with straightening up the shop.
“I didn’t know high school students had so much free time on their hands,” a familiar voice commented once Aang stopped outside the bookstore. Startled, the teen whirled around to see Toph smirking at him. “Don’t you have a test to study for, Airhead?”
“You have the same test coming up you know,” Aang grumbled grudgingly, glowering at his friend disapprovingly. “Did you follow me all the way from school?”
“You were brimming with expectancy all day, I got curious.” Toph shrugged. “So, what’s it about this shop that’s got you so pumped up?” The pale green eyes scanned the store windows and narrowed. “Wow, that looks like a painful scar.”
Aang shot a glance in the same direction but only saw Zuko shuffling between the book cases. “I don’t see a scar…”
Toph scoffed and Aang flushed in embarrassment. Of course he couldn’t see it; Toph didn’t see like normal people. When she looked at a person she didn’t see skin, hair or eyes or even the clothes they were wearing. She saw emotions, memories and thoughts, the things that people were really made of as far as she was concerned.
It had taken Aang a while to get Toph to tell him how her version of sight worked. They had been classmates before they became friends but Toph had always done her best to push him away. Aang had never let it make him give up even when he’d been frustrated by it. When Sokka had started insisting that Toph was one of the Avatars of the Elements Aang had once again been encouraged to redouble his efforts to befriend the girl, hopeful that Toph could also feel the connection of their common magic.
Despite the growing bond between Toph and Aang the girl had never become more receptive to people in general. Aang couldn’t really blame her for it; he’d heard the things their classmates would say about Toph. ”She never looks anyone in the eye. It’s so rude,” and “She always knows what you’re thinking, she’s such a freak,” were the least of it. So it wasn’t surprising that the justification Toph gave for not really minding her ability was: “It’s a lot better than looking at their mugs for sure.”
So when Toph said she saw a scar on Zuko, she meant an emotional one. And it did explain a great deal about Zuko’s mannerism. He hadn’t been outright unfriendly towards Aang, simply guarded.
“That’s Zuko; he works here,” Aang explained. He hesitated for a moment before adding: “Do you want to meet him?”
“Nah.” Toph shook her head. “I do actually have to study to do well in exams so I’ll go take care of that.” The girl gave Aang’s arm a tap with her fist. “I’ll embarrass you some other time.” She then walked off with a wave.
Aang made his way to the shop entrance. The door was open but the sign on the door still read ‘closed’. Most likely Zuko still hadn’t managed to get everything in order. Aang peeked inside and called out: “Zuko? You have a moment?”
The young man appeared between a pair of shelves with a deep scowl on his face. It looked more confused than angry, however, and Zuko murmured: “I know you… You’re that kid from the other day.”
“The name’s Aang,” Aang reminded the man as he stepped into the shop. “And I’m not that much of a kid, especially when compared to you.” Aang tilted his head in confusion. “Speaking of which, is it just you here? You seem awfully young to be in charge of a shop on your own.”
“I’m setting everything up for my uncle, actually.” The answer came more easily than Aang had expected. Apparently Zuko was more willing to open up today, even with minimal prodding. “He hurt his back setting the shelves so I’m helping with the rest of the heavy lifting.”
“So are you a student somewhere in the city? Or just visiting?” Aang decided to see if Zuko was ready to share some more with him. Because he really was wondering why someone who looked like he belonged in a college was working in a bookstore.
Zuko hesitated for a moment, looking strangely lost, until he finally spoke, rather quickly: “I’m on a break from school at the moment.”
“Okay then.” Aang made his way further into the shop, glancing around. “Do you still need help with anything? Everything looks close to being in order. Are you opening soon?”
“Slow down a bit.” Zuko wasn’t laughing in any shape or form, but he did sound amused and Aang grinned at him broadly. “The shop won’t be opening until my uncle returns.”
“That does make sense.” Aang nodded. “So, how about that help? Need any?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” The answer was a lot less defensive than it had been last time, most likely more honest too.
“Glad to hear it.” Aang moved his weight from one foot to another, unsure how to proceed. “Um, do you mind if I still stop by every now and then, to see how you’re doing?” He gave the older male a hopeful look.
Zuko looked caught off guard. “Why would you want to?” The pale blush spreading on the youth’s cheek couldn’t be hidden behind a perpetual frown. “I’m not exactly good company.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Aang smirked cheekily. “My being willing to return is proof to the contrary, isn’t it?”
“I won’t be here all the time, though,” Zuko insisted. “I’m in town for more than just moving assistance.”
Aang smiled widely and eagerly. “I walk past this place every day on my way home from school. It won’t take long to take a peek inside.”
“How about I just leave the door open for you if I’m in?” Zuko suggested, face softening in acquiescence. “I could actually use the company.”
“Great!” Aang practically bounced on the balls of his feet. “I’ll leave you to your work for now and I’ll be back tomorrow then.”
“If you must,” Zuko replied, although there was no sting in the tone behind the words. In fact, the man even lifted a hand in what was almost a wave in response to Aang’s own energetic handwaving before the boy left back through the door.
---
He was being stupid, Zuko concluded as he watched Aang leave again. He was going to be very busy with plotting the revealing of the Avatars’ identities soon; it wouldn’t do to have a mortal running around taking up his time. Even though it would ease the loneliness of being stranded here among these Other Kin, these magicless humans.
On the bright side, it did reveal the serious holes in his cover story. Of course he looked too young to be in charge of a store. The part of the story about him helping his uncle in the store was actually true, though; Uncle Iroh most likely had his own reasons for relocating into the city where the Phoenix Kin were conducting their operations. However, there was no student record of him in existence. Perhaps he should enrol on some courses at the nearest college in case Aang tried to track down where he studied. He wouldn’t want his only friend stumbling into secrets that would get him killed.
Even if Aang probably didn’t consider them friends just yet. His soul pulsed with kindness that Zuko could feel through the gem in his armband. Aang was most likely just the kind of person who would help a new arrival settle in, albeit he was rather pushy about it. Zuko was actually used to pushy people and Aang’s rather forceful attempts at making him feel at home were doing just that.
Speaking of pushy people, there was one such person who should have arrived in town by then. While his uncle wouldn’t stop him from doing what he had been instructed to do, he couldn’t ask him for help either, so he had to rely elsewhere for backup.
Zuko stormed to the back of the store, feeding a touch of magic to the stone statue of a phoenix. The skyward pointed wings of the statue acted as frames to the magical window that appeared.
“Jet,” Zuko snapped at the swirling vortex of magic. “Jet, answer me! Where are you?”
“Hey, easy there, Short Fuse.” A familiar lazily smiling face appeared in the window. “What’s got you so worked up?”
“The fact that you’re late would be a good reason,” Zuko answered heatedly. “I’ve been waiting for you whole day. What’s keeping you?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Are you even taking this mission seriously?”
The smile on Jet’s face vanished, the other man regarding Zuko with a worried look. “Are you really going to go through with this?”
“Are you really asking me this?” Zuko shot back. “You know my dedication is absolute.”
Jet’s expression turned sorrowful and Zuko felt anger roiling at the pity he saw. “You really don’t think you’ve given the big boss enough pieces of yourself? Soon there’ll be nothing left.”
“Your job is not to question me!” Zuko’s voice rose at the reference to what had happened before, before he had been granted this chance to redeem himself in the eyes of the Kin. “Your job is to command my spirits!”
“Because the chief didn’t leave you enough magic power for you to do it himself,” Jet cut in. The other could probably see the threatening rage on Zuko’s face even though the magic of the window they were speaking through, since he immediately conceded: “I’ll be there tomorrow, okay? Just, entertain yourself until then; get to know the locals a bit.”
Not even bothering with a farewell, Zuko fluttered his fingers and the magic window vanished. He was breathing heavily, trying to reign in his anger. Shot Fuse, Jet had called him. Such nicknames were something he rarely tolerated but let Jet get away with more often than others. However, bringing up his past was off-limits even for him. They were allies, after all, not friends.
Zuko leaned his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes. And to think just a few moments ago he was eagerly making plans. Now he was a wreck, all because of his memories. The memories of what he once had, of how he had lost a part of his soul when their leader had torn out his magic, leaving him with nothing more than parlour tricks in comparison to what he had once been capable of.
He thought he could be Aang’s friend? He was broken, half of what he was supposed to be. And if he wanted to be whole again, to be worthy of other people, he needed to earn the right to his magic back. He had to find the Avatars of the Elements and wipe them out.
--
Author’s Notes: This chapter was really hard. I wrote two different versions of Toph’s ‘sight’ and then settled for the one here. I figured that in a genre shift Toph’s ability would have to be different to match the different genre.
I also feel like Zuko wallows a bit too much at the end there, but I wanted to make clear what memories the theme was referring to here. Oh well, it’ll be better next time and maybe it’ll be less Zuko being desperate for human contact and more Aang actually being Zuko’s friend instead of just fascinated with him.