Chuck Norris had his birthday in the Virgin Islands. They are now just the Islands.
Since Fark is the only place I've seen anyone take notice of the most obvious reason to celebrate the interweb's biggest fad since squirrel nuts or the mustard man, then I'll step up to the plate and do it.
Happy 66th Birthday, Chuck Norris.
And what better to way to celebrate than see Chuck read his Favorite TV-Friendly Chuck Norris facts on FSN's 'The Best Damn Sports Show Period'.
And now for some more... just for the hell of it...
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris stormed the beaches at Normandy and killed over 47 Germans... in 1981.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
Every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on its jaw. Scientists are baffled, but we know damn well why.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
/farked Chuck Norris after meeting him in a nightclub in 2003. My friend knew his agent. 100% the best ever.
//got nothin
///slashies