Brownie's Playhouse Word of the Day!!
So I'm out and about enjoying my day off, taking care of random money situations, getting a long overdue haircut and househunting. It's a beautiful day and everything is going my way. I'm enjoying every little thing around me... hell, even the feeling of wearing flip-flops again made me at least smile. Even my beloved White Sox are even in the ALCS for the first time since, I think, 1959... either way, definately the first time in my lifetime. This all includes flipping out in the middle of work when Joe Crede hit that game winning double with two outs in the bottom of the ninth last night.
Truth be told, I've been a giddy little bitch all day.
I get home from tanning when it dawns on me... not very many things could make today better, but I could feel like something was going to happen.
Maybe a winning lottery ticket, especially since I'll be damned if I ever buy one.
Maybe gas prices going down or me finding a $20 somewhere in the wash.
Maybe finding a couple stray beers (I do that a lot) or some renegade weed.
Well, I didn't find any money, alcohol, or drugs... but I found an offline that made my day.
For the sake of averting any unneccessary drama the sender will remain anonymous, but their message was was pointing out some new entries on s_a_t_a_n_n's LiveJournal that they believed would interest me. For the record, that is NOT a real journal... yet. I only changed the name to protect the 'innocent'.
To be completely honest, s_a_t_a_n_n and I are on the outs. She tried leading me on to believe that we could actually get together again, only because she was having problems with her new boyfriend, whom she claimed was putting weed and partying above their relationship. Now, I'm the most hopeless romantic around and I believe love is in some of the damndest places sometimes, but if I had to choose between a dimebag and some fickle tool that'll leave me for the next thing with a penis to show interest in her, I'd take the reefer too. So, allow me to say, 'Bravo, my friend, you learned something that took me four years to discover in the matter of a few weeks.'
Nevertheless, part of me still wanted to take s_a_t_a_n_n seriously, and I damn near fell for her stunts again. However, in between me finally starting to learn and also discovering that she apparently tried talking another one of her exes into coming to see her, I feel I made the right choice in staying here, meeting new girls and drinking my ass off. By the way, if you're going to try pulling the same stunt on two people, you might want to make sure they don't talk or have any mutual friends, OK s_a_t_a_n_n?
See... now I'm not that bad of a guy, I never wish bad fortune upon any of my exes and I really try not to rejoice in any of it when it happens...
but...
I read all of the posts, and I kept seeing words like 'love', 'Kyle', and 'four years'... so after realizing she made several references to our relationship and made it sound like I was the problem on top of the fact that SHE put ME on ignore because I told her to piss off if she was going to keep leading me on, I burst into laughter upon viewing this piece of bloggy goodness...
You see, s_a_t_a_n_n, those of us that don't have our heads lodged deep up our own asses have a theory on this thing called karma...
karma
n. Hindu and Buddhist theory that a person's actions help determine their destiny in their current or next incarnation
n. name commonly given from hippies to their daughters
n. looking down just in time to see the person who put you in hell for so long so many times finally have to suffer through what you have
However, even though you're finally getting those first bitter tastes of everything you've put me through for so long, I still feel this obligation to help you... it's this deep pain in my stomach that I can't seem to get rid of...
OK, nevermind, I just had to fart...
but I said I'd help you, so I'll respond to a few of your statements on your 'What do I wish?' post...
For instance, you said things like...
'I wish I were smarter'
Don't worry, my dear, most of your boyfriends wish you were smarter too. After all, had you actually thought things through instead of acting on every little crush you had, maybe I wouldn't personally consider myself such a retard for sticking with you as long as I did.
On top of that, you most likely wouldn't be in your present situation either.
'I wish I had someone to love me'
You had that but completely fucked it up. You had one guy that loved you more than life itself and you just used him as some sort of safety net.
'I wish I hadn't spent four years of my life with someone who fucked me up for everyone else'
You did that on your own. Hell, I was the only thing keeping you grounded, it seemed. In fact, you didn't start drinking and putting yourself in those impossible situations until after we broke up, which only happened in the first place because of something you did. I was not a part of the equation.
'I wish I could talk to God'
You could've... but you put him on ignore.
Alright, those were the only ones that pertained to me that I took the time to read. Nevertheless, get your head out of your ass and stop blaming your fuck-ups on me, s_a_t_a_n_n. It's one shitty situation you're in, and if I barely made it through, I don't understand how someone as weak as you will.
Karma is a bitch, s_a_t_a_n_n... the sooner you realize it, the better.