Eloquence on Poly (quoted)
ABCNews has done a rather even-handed, if short, treatment of poly... here
This is one of the most eloquent comments in response to the above article, and one that very matches most of my opinions on "open marriage" (though, obviously, not all my opinions on polyamory!)...
I see a lot of intolerance and knee-jerk emotional reactionism in these comments. I understand that we're dealing with some deeply instilled cultural and religious beliefs. Many of you don't want to consider open marriages as a valid alternative to monogamy and that's fine; that's your prerogative. But for those of you interested in the opposite perspective, I'm here to say that my husband and I have been in an open marriage for the past 10 years, and it's a beautiful, healthy, committed marriage. In fact, most of the people who know us consider our marriage to be one of the strongest they've ever seen, and really, the "open" aspect of our marriage has only made our relationship stronger.
Here is a brief list of some of the reasons that we have an open marriage:
It's interesting.
It keeps us learning new things about ourselves and each other.
It forces us to stay very on top of our own relationship and keeps us communicating closely with each other about in-depth sensitive issues, which brings us closer.
It serves as a "magnifying lens" by which we can identify problems that we need to work on, rather than just going along and not paying attention and sweeping things under the rug until they become silent poisons.
It builds our trust in each other and our relationship, that we can do this trustfully and honestly.
It allows us to feel free as individuals within a couple, rather than having that individual freedom be swallowed up by our "couple" identity.
It allows us to celebrate the beauty of connections and intimacy with other people, thus celebrating life and our humanity.
It's fun. Usually.
Although sometimes it can hit bumps that require a lot of time and energy to discuss and work on, but we do come out stronger on the other side.
Not out to convert anyone here, and I'll be the first to say that open marriages aren't for everyone. If you're happy with monogamy, great! But it's not the only relationship model that works.
Posted by: PhoebeTip78
This is one of the most eloquent comments in response to the above article, and one that very matches most of my opinions on "open marriage" (though, obviously, not all my opinions on polyamory!)...
I see a lot of intolerance and knee-jerk emotional reactionism in these comments. I understand that we're dealing with some deeply instilled cultural and religious beliefs. Many of you don't want to consider open marriages as a valid alternative to monogamy and that's fine; that's your prerogative. But for those of you interested in the opposite perspective, I'm here to say that my husband and I have been in an open marriage for the past 10 years, and it's a beautiful, healthy, committed marriage. In fact, most of the people who know us consider our marriage to be one of the strongest they've ever seen, and really, the "open" aspect of our marriage has only made our relationship stronger.
Here is a brief list of some of the reasons that we have an open marriage:
It's interesting.
It keeps us learning new things about ourselves and each other.
It forces us to stay very on top of our own relationship and keeps us communicating closely with each other about in-depth sensitive issues, which brings us closer.
It serves as a "magnifying lens" by which we can identify problems that we need to work on, rather than just going along and not paying attention and sweeping things under the rug until they become silent poisons.
It builds our trust in each other and our relationship, that we can do this trustfully and honestly.
It allows us to feel free as individuals within a couple, rather than having that individual freedom be swallowed up by our "couple" identity.
It allows us to celebrate the beauty of connections and intimacy with other people, thus celebrating life and our humanity.
It's fun. Usually.
Although sometimes it can hit bumps that require a lot of time and energy to discuss and work on, but we do come out stronger on the other side.
Not out to convert anyone here, and I'll be the first to say that open marriages aren't for everyone. If you're happy with monogamy, great! But it's not the only relationship model that works.
Posted by: PhoebeTip78