For me this always ends up being bitter and cynical. I am both. That isnt such a bad thing I guess. I am a working case of denial. It works. Ambiguous journal entries are for real winners. I am a real winner. I guess. I am bitter and cynical. How can you not be at 4:26 in the AM when all you want to do is FORGET and all you can do is be ( Read more... )

I am a little oragami man. See how I fold in on myself. See how the rain soaks in. I loose my form. Rain is harmless. To you ( Read more... )

Right now I realize what my stomache is really full of. It is thunder. Scientist have to be the greatest fools of any generation to call it anything but thunder. Acid. What is acid? I'll settle for thunderjuice. That is as far as I can go to meet them. This wont work if they cant give just that much. My belly is full of thunder.

I love that we can speak in metaphor.

I want to add that I feel good right now.

Dawn finds me in the most akward place, naked sweating. Tne fake leather seat of my car is invariably sticking to my asscheek. So the first thing I do in the morning is usually a pelvic thrust, then I scooch tward the door. I have to be careful becase there is no siding on the door from when it was supposed to be painted, and there is some metal ( Read more... )

The feeling that I am not doing enough is but a nose ahead of the feeling that I will never be able to do enough; all swimming in some kind of dograce, miring through apathy ( Read more... )

This is my list of things that I must do.

Do my taxes... ugh
Arrange for a payment plan with the district court.
Make a credit card payment.
Then there is 570 + 28 + 160
Pay creditor? eh.
Send book to BBCC.
Go to my PO BOX and get my mail. Possibly renew?
Buy a car or scooter or motorcycle.

Here's to you girls, sitting on that couch. If only I could make all the drunk guys in the room see that:
A. you are not atractive
B. you are not going to have sex with anyone here (especialy if they paid attention to you)
C. you have NOTHING of intrest to say

Started watching The Constant Gardener tonight. It made me feel terrible. I dont know if that is a good thing... I am tired and confused but it doesnt really seem that praiseworthy to make someone feel badIn other news work has been awesome. I was boating with River Recreation again today and the lead guide, TJ, gave me the "rowdiest crew". ( Read more... )