You got my brain running now - the kink community has done a lot to separate BDSM and sex, for a lot of reasons (some good, some bad). I wonder if that is part of how it is not considered a private sex act between consenting adults. Or at least an argument against it. I'm not wording this well, but do you see what i'm trying to poke at?
A big problem is that we have over a hundred years worth of law that dismisses the notion of consensual assault in favor of putting strict control on male violent behavior.
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