31: [Video] Any Way You Want It

[dashboardlite]

Some of you may know Dean as "the obnoxious guy who plays loud music in the library."

Some of you may know him as "the obnoxious monster hunter with bad fashion sense."

Some of you may even know him as "jerk."

To you, he says "bitch" in return.

Fondly.Dean is currently living up to everyone's expectations in the kitchen, being obnoxious and

Comments

[kitchen action againnnnnn]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip finds himself drawn to the kitchen often enough without needing another reason, but that music is Highly Suspicious (TM).

Entering the room Philip sees his suspicion confirmed immediately, but more than that he sees something which... which... oh dear god.

I'm sorry, but he has no words. Just. None. ]

...I think I'd like to skip the 'what?' and cut right to the 'why'?

[ (And by none we mean fourteen. Now explain yourself, Chef Winchester.) ]

[and everybody was kung fu fightiiiiing]

[dashboardlite]

Because,

[Dean states without turning around, trying to figure out how to truss the largest bird the right way.]

Because I didn't know these even existed over Thanksgiving or I woulda made one before, and I missed the chance to get one then, so why not make one now?

[When he turns around to grin and wipe his hands off on the front of his jeans, he might have some spices from basting stuck to his cheek.]

S'just an extended holiday. Second holiday. [Welp.] ...I dunno, I just wanted to try it. Stop doing that.

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip is not the biggest fan of chicken, turkey and other feathery foods under normal circumstances. But this? ]

...If Doctor Frankenstein had specialised in poultry instead of people his monster would probably look exactly like this. And would probably end up eating you.

[ He narrows his eyes at Dean's hand-wiping practice. Unsurprisingly it leaves something to be desired. ]

...Which, to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely convinced this one won't.

[ I hope you can tell how much love and appreciation Philip holds for your post holiday project, Dean. ]

[dashboardlite]

Not if I eat it first.

[So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Dean wipes his hands on his pants a second time just because Philip seems so bothered by it.

And hey man, just because you can cook gourmet meals doesn't mean you can look down your limey nose at the slovenly American who wants his meat tripled and combined into one delicious monstrosity.]

Be happy, I coulda covered it in bacon, too.

[Oh, but he was tempted.

After carefully delivering his bird(s) to the oven and checking the temperature, Dean finally moves to the sink to wash his hands and glances over one shoulder at Philip.]

You could help me make a cherpumple cake.

[battleaxebass]

[Marceline is tempted to the kitchen by the sounds of great jams and the smell of wonderfully cooking flesh. What? Just because she's undead doesn't mean she can't appreciate the exquisite aroma of things stuffed in things stuffed in more things. Delicious.]

[However, seeing Dean, her mood turns sour. She still hasn't quite forgiven him for the rabbit doubt incident. Sure, tons of hunters have tried to take her down in the past, but none of them ever succeeded. It was a sore spot for her.]

Hi, Winchester. [Her tongue flicks out in annoyance.]

[dashboardlite]

...uh.

[He turns the music down a little, turning to get a better look at who just came i-Ohhhhhhhhhkay, wow, uh, that's...shit. Um.]

Heyyyyy...Marceline.

[He half-smiles, half-grimaces, pausing in his turducken-making.]

How's it...going?

[battleaxebass]

Fine.

[Just like every petulant teenager in the world says it. She floats over to look at what's in the oven. It... Looks like something Jake would make.]

Holy snaps, what is that?

[dashboardlite]

It's a turducken.

[Dean grins madly, because dude he is so excited you have no idea.]

It's a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey. Pretty friggin' sweet, right?

[video forever]

[usskickass]

[She's not sure what he's making. But whatever it is, it looks delicious.]

...What're you doing?

[video forever]

[dashboardlite]

Makin' a turducken.

[Hold on, it's kind of messy right now so his attention is torn- Okay, trussing is done. Into the over with you!]

I didn't know these things even existed until the other day, and it was too late for Thanksgiving by then.

[usskickass]

Son, you better be sharin' that.

[With her. Obviously.]

[dashboardlite]

[Watch as he smiles in a gentlemanly fashion.]

I ain't gonna eat it all by myself. Don't see why I can't spread the wealth.

video right before the update and hahaha now I want him to vanish while eating turducken

[40410]

Alex actually really likes this song. When it comes on over the network he finds himself jiggling his foot to it for a few moments before he registers that it's not coming from his own laptop.

He looks up at the wall communicator, ready to cut what he assumes will be a stranger's unwanted public feed, and sees - whoa. What is Dean doing to those birds and is it legal in most states?

...To a certain extent, Alex is from the Internet, where turduckens are a bit of a meme. He's well-equipped to make an educated guess.

"Is that what I think it is."

video that is awful and you are a horrible person

[dashboardlite]

These birds within other birds within other birds are legal in all states except for Hawaii, because man they are just too chill way out there to deal with birdception.

"Everything you think it is and more."

And doesn't that sound promising and fulfilling?

that means I should do it doesn't it

[40410]

Alex may be a terrible cook himself, but he is a Southern chap, and the South (in this narration's limited but extremely delicious experience) is all about pushing the boundaries of food upon food upon food. So no sarcasm for once, it actually does!

With two out of two tags talking about his roots, this narration strives to hit on something more original. How about Alex actually looking interested and not full of unearthly dread for once?

"What, are you putting a goose in there as well?"

MEBBE

[dashboardlite]

"Nah, just a whole lotta stuffing. Normally I don't like it in the turkey, 'cause it gets all mushy and gross, but the recipe says to, so," Dean shrugs and looks down at his filthy, filthy hands.

"You wanna try it when it's done? I'm makin' pie in the meantime."

[ video ]

[splitsrussia]

What the fuck is that noise?

[ video ]

[dashboardlite]

Quality music.

[Dean doesn't bother explaining. If you don't get it, then man, have you got some issues.]

[ video ]

[splitsrussia]

Sounds more like shitty noise blaring through the speakers.

[ video ]

[dashboardlite]

Shows how much you know about quality music, then, my uncultured friend.