Happily Ever After...my ass [J2, hard R], by sassangel
LINK TO FIC, 24K
J2, canon-based. Jared and Jensen were still together in season 5 until Jensen walked in on Jared screwing Genevieve in his trailer; cue knockdown drag-out on the set. Chaos and marriages ensued, but only one of them was topped off by the bridegroom screwing a groomsman. Jensen decides their separation is permanent; after much therapy, Jensen moves on, and Jared finally stops calling him in the middle of the night to force him to listen while he has sex with Gen. Now, a number of years later, Jensen has been cast in a film role that could land him Academy recognition and a spot on the A-list, while Jared's still playing warm-hearted boyfriends. Then a Youtube video is (briefly) posted featuring Jared and Jensen fucking. Jensen knows his copy is safely tucked away, which means ... Managers, agents, and studio PR persons, Jared, Gen, and Danneel descend. The management decision is that Jensen can either lose his movie role or suck it up and come out publicly with Jared as a couple.
-
-
-
SPOILERS
-
-
-
Danneel's fine with it, but Gen is raging--Jared's no longer into men, and she doesn't want a divorce. Then Jared reveals that he and Jensen were married in Canada by a strolling Pride preacher when both were three-sheets-to-the-wind, it was legal, and they never divorced. Gen and Jensen are both appalled, and Jared decides to cooperate with the publicity plan by moving up to Vancouver with Jensen where his new movie's filming. Endless coming out interviews follow, Jensen's getting harassed on set and at home by Jared, whom he hates with a fiery passion. Meanwhile, Jared's still sleeping with his boyfriend, and Danneel's growing tired of playing referee for the whole situation.
I guess we could label this an Awful Truth AU? The whole fic is Jensen POV, and he views himself as a miserable, suffering martyr. From his perspective, Jared's a machiavellian playa who stomped on Jensen's heart--and to continues to do at every opportunity. Genevieve, the beard who doesn't realize it, is 100% woman scorned, led on by then cheated on by Jared. Danneel, the beard who does know it, is amused and exasperated and getting her own groove on on the side (Steve cameo). There's also Sudden Lance Bass, boyfriend and reluctant yenta. The conflict here is a twist on the lack of communication theme: they communicate (often, loudly, sometimes with fists), but what one says and the other hears are two very different things.
SPAG is okay-ish (some typos). Sex is Jared on the bottom (Jared tells all interviewers that Jensen's the bottom). There is, depending on how one views these things, an angsty ending and a HEA. This is ... weirdly readable and funny, and I suspect it's going to turn out to be the guilty pleasure fic that no one admits liking. I was entertained. :)
ayrt. Yeah, there's MUCH asshole behavior from everyone in this fic, and I figure it's going to be ~controversial in the loathed/liked sense. But...it appealed to my inner bitch or something. IDEK.
da. MTE. I see what everyone is bitching about on this thread but there's something about this that really appeals to me. Lately there's been too much focus on making sure everyone is portrayed in a positive light that I reveled in everyone being a selfish prick, with no character changing epiphanies in the end. I see no problem with that. IDK what the says about me TBH. *shrugs*
The little that we get from Jared's side is that he was what, insecure? Jealous? He fucked Gen for months because he wanted Jensen to notice and Jensen was too self-absorbed to pay attention? Because that makes sense.
Exactly. I'm not certain either. JP's too opaque here. Still, since the writer is advance advertising a JP POV sequel, I'm assuming that if we read btwn the lines in this one, we're meant to discern what's going on with JP as well. But with JA written this self-absorbed, picking up anything outside his tunnel POV is a real struggle.
For instance, JP's sleeping with all and sundry while sleeping with JA as well--he's expecting JA to do something about it? Like what? A declaration of love and marriage? So I'm guessing it's meaningful that JA considered their Pride marriage a joke and promptly forgot about it, but JP not only took it seriously but went to the trouble to confirm its legal standing. But then JP starts sleeping with G--and apparently was expecting to be caught doing it--and JA finally does do something: but it's a public explosion on the set.
JP apparently only intended the G marriage to be damage control. Evidence: he's back to fucking JA the next morning, and he's angry when JA not only refuses to continue to their relationship but sends him packing with the packet of photos. So the late-night phone calls start up.
I guess we could potentially view this as JP married to JA, but JP sees JA pointblank refusing to acknowledge that their marriage is even valid, so JP starts acting out to force the issue. Rather than just asking what the hell is going on (standard J2 rom-com plot #1: miscommunication).
So JP's emitting strong vibes of "scorned lover" but also indulging in a lot of seriously unpleasant user behavior (see: marriage to Gen, boyfriend Lance). When JP moves his own boyfriend in, tells JA he'd arranged the whole thing as a publicity stunt, and admits he never loved him, it feels like the culmination of a nutty revenge campaign. And the evidence that much of it wasn't true arrives in the form of float climbing and an attempt at Pride marriage number 2.
So JP sets out to win the lover's revenge sweepstakes--and when he does, realizes that wasn't what he really wanted after all? Like everything JP knows about relationships he learned from convoluted screwball comedy/dramas of the 30s-40s.
ayrt
Jensen is self absorbed but at the same time, maybe I'm not reading between the lines enough but he didn't seem overly annoying about it. He annoyed me in still holding a torch for the guy who fucked him over so solidly and in how quickly he forgave everything that Jared did to him, but he seemed to have a regular human level of self absorbedness. He was angry and not inclined to see things from Jared's POV but can you really blame him for that?
But yeah, I could not get anything from Jared. He immediately wanted to be friends again as though nothing had happened? In what universe does that seem likely? And then he led Gen on, knowing that she thought it was a real relationship while he was fucking men in the guest room. There's a throwaway line about how Jared knew it was just business with Gen but you don't fuck your "just business" wife. Did she even know about his other lovers?
Jared is a serial cheater and he comes across as a user to me, too. He's bitter about his lack of career growth and at the first chance lies about their preferred bedroom positions so that he seems like a top and thus more of a ladies man (and, as a side note, what was up with Jensen being 99.99999% of the time the top but thinking all the time about how Jared just wanted to get his dick up Jensen's ass again? Wouldn't it be the other way around, since Jared only ever topped the one time?) and he did the whole thing to begin with as a stunt to rekindle his popularity.
Not to mention not passing it along when it turned out that they were legit married. Jensen didn't know, Gen had no clue. Jared turned both of them into polygamists which is kinda illegal.
And those pictures! What was up with that? Jensen sends Jared that extremely hurtful stack of pictures to show Jared that he was just one of many - and had already been replaced - but then they wind up fucking the day after? When Jared is supposed to be on his honeymoon with Gen?
IDEK. You're right, it does feel like a revenge campaign and that doesn't at all jive with Jensen happily taking Jared back or how they became a powerhouse gay couple or whatnot.
And yet despite all of these problems (and more! I could keep ranting!) I actually like the story. I don't know why I like it. The characters are universally unlikable, the plot makes NO sense. Maybe the writing style? It sucked me in and kept my attention, that's for sure. And some of the OTT fighting was amusing. If they just hadn't hooked back up again, I think I'd have enjoyed it a lot more.
ayrt. No, I agree, his POV isn't annoying, but I found it pretty constricting. Jensen seemed way more rational/sympathetic to me as well, but then he's the POV character--his perspective is ours (literally). Even so, I agree, no idea why he's holding up his JP torch (other than the woo-sex-be-smoking thing). Obsession isn't rational, sure, but it would have helped A LOT to have seen some glimpses of their relationship when they were getting along. My guess is that, since this is a canon-based AU, the writer expected us to just tote all that in from outside this fanfic, that we wouldn't need it fleshed out. Which ... may have been a mistake in this context.
As for Gen, yeah, I can't even hazard a guess because the fanfic doesn't provide enough to base one on, sigh. Was she being used or was she just deluding herself? I'm assuming that the writer put in that 'breach of contract' suit (which isn't elaborated on after that) to cover the bigamy angle, implying that in face-saving publicity terms everyone had agreed to spin the situation as all parties having been in the know (when, in fact, only Jared had been).
The pictures were a wedding gift, but it doesn't specify at what point they got gifted. I think ... maybe the only way this works is if JA had actually dumped them on JP after the morning-after bathroom sex as a go-fuck-yourself gesture. Or, alternatively, that he'd sent them with firm intentions but found himself unable to resist the manly charms of JP the next morning? Uh. Don't know. (But it's perversely lulzy that they're all professional headshots.)
Potentially that 'career boost' business may have been JP lying through his teeth to both Lance and JA about his true motives as part of his Greater Plot of Vengeance. But wow, no way does Jared come over as anything but an asshole in the end. The wrong one went to therapy. O_o
And, yeah, IKR? Fun stuff. Chock full o' drama sans melodrama. Like a postcard from the sunny beaches of the id vortex.
Link to SPNanonhaven thread.
J2, canon-based. Jared and Jensen were still together in season 5 until Jensen walked in on Jared screwing Genevieve in his trailer; cue knockdown drag-out on the set. Chaos and marriages ensued, but only one of them was topped off by the bridegroom screwing a groomsman. Jensen decides their separation is permanent; after much therapy, Jensen moves on, and Jared finally stops calling him in the middle of the night to force him to listen while he has sex with Gen. Now, a number of years later, Jensen has been cast in a film role that could land him Academy recognition and a spot on the A-list, while Jared's still playing warm-hearted boyfriends. Then a Youtube video is (briefly) posted featuring Jared and Jensen fucking. Jensen knows his copy is safely tucked away, which means ... Managers, agents, and studio PR persons, Jared, Gen, and Danneel descend. The management decision is that Jensen can either lose his movie role or suck it up and come out publicly with Jared as a couple.
-
-
-
SPOILERS
-
-
-
Danneel's fine with it, but Gen is raging--Jared's no longer into men, and she doesn't want a divorce. Then Jared reveals that he and Jensen were married in Canada by a strolling Pride preacher when both were three-sheets-to-the-wind, it was legal, and they never divorced. Gen and Jensen are both appalled, and Jared decides to cooperate with the publicity plan by moving up to Vancouver with Jensen where his new movie's filming. Endless coming out interviews follow, Jensen's getting harassed on set and at home by Jared, whom he hates with a fiery passion. Meanwhile, Jared's still sleeping with his boyfriend, and Danneel's growing tired of playing referee for the whole situation.
I guess we could label this an Awful Truth AU? The whole fic is Jensen POV, and he views himself as a miserable, suffering martyr. From his perspective, Jared's a machiavellian playa who stomped on Jensen's heart--and to continues to do at every opportunity. Genevieve, the beard who doesn't realize it, is 100% woman scorned, led on by then cheated on by Jared. Danneel, the beard who does know it, is amused and exasperated and getting her own groove on on the side (Steve cameo). There's also Sudden Lance Bass, boyfriend and reluctant yenta. The conflict here is a twist on the lack of communication theme: they communicate (often, loudly, sometimes with fists), but what one says and the other hears are two very different things.
SPAG is okay-ish (some typos). Sex is Jared on the bottom (Jared tells all interviewers that Jensen's the bottom). There is, depending on how one views these things, an angsty ending and a HEA. This is ... weirdly readable and funny, and I suspect it's going to turn out to be the guilty pleasure fic that no one admits liking. I was entertained. :)
ayrt. Yeah, there's MUCH asshole behavior from everyone in this fic, and I figure it's going to be ~controversial in the loathed/liked sense. But...it appealed to my inner bitch or something. IDEK.
da. MTE. I see what everyone is bitching about on this thread but there's something about this that really appeals to me. Lately there's been too much focus on making sure everyone is portrayed in a positive light that I reveled in everyone being a selfish prick, with no character changing epiphanies in the end. I see no problem with that. IDK what the says about me TBH. *shrugs*
The little that we get from Jared's side is that he was what, insecure? Jealous? He fucked Gen for months because he wanted Jensen to notice and Jensen was too self-absorbed to pay attention? Because that makes sense.
Exactly. I'm not certain either. JP's too opaque here. Still, since the writer is advance advertising a JP POV sequel, I'm assuming that if we read btwn the lines in this one, we're meant to discern what's going on with JP as well. But with JA written this self-absorbed, picking up anything outside his tunnel POV is a real struggle.
For instance, JP's sleeping with all and sundry while sleeping with JA as well--he's expecting JA to do something about it? Like what? A declaration of love and marriage? So I'm guessing it's meaningful that JA considered their Pride marriage a joke and promptly forgot about it, but JP not only took it seriously but went to the trouble to confirm its legal standing. But then JP starts sleeping with G--and apparently was expecting to be caught doing it--and JA finally does do something: but it's a public explosion on the set.
JP apparently only intended the G marriage to be damage control. Evidence: he's back to fucking JA the next morning, and he's angry when JA not only refuses to continue to their relationship but sends him packing with the packet of photos. So the late-night phone calls start up.
I guess we could potentially view this as JP married to JA, but JP sees JA pointblank refusing to acknowledge that their marriage is even valid, so JP starts acting out to force the issue. Rather than just asking what the hell is going on (standard J2 rom-com plot #1: miscommunication).
So JP's emitting strong vibes of "scorned lover" but also indulging in a lot of seriously unpleasant user behavior (see: marriage to Gen, boyfriend Lance). When JP moves his own boyfriend in, tells JA he'd arranged the whole thing as a publicity stunt, and admits he never loved him, it feels like the culmination of a nutty revenge campaign. And the evidence that much of it wasn't true arrives in the form of float climbing and an attempt at Pride marriage number 2.
So JP sets out to win the lover's revenge sweepstakes--and when he does, realizes that wasn't what he really wanted after all? Like everything JP knows about relationships he learned from convoluted screwball comedy/dramas of the 30s-40s.
ayrt
Jensen is self absorbed but at the same time, maybe I'm not reading between the lines enough but he didn't seem overly annoying about it. He annoyed me in still holding a torch for the guy who fucked him over so solidly and in how quickly he forgave everything that Jared did to him, but he seemed to have a regular human level of self absorbedness. He was angry and not inclined to see things from Jared's POV but can you really blame him for that?
But yeah, I could not get anything from Jared. He immediately wanted to be friends again as though nothing had happened? In what universe does that seem likely? And then he led Gen on, knowing that she thought it was a real relationship while he was fucking men in the guest room. There's a throwaway line about how Jared knew it was just business with Gen but you don't fuck your "just business" wife. Did she even know about his other lovers?
Jared is a serial cheater and he comes across as a user to me, too. He's bitter about his lack of career growth and at the first chance lies about their preferred bedroom positions so that he seems like a top and thus more of a ladies man (and, as a side note, what was up with Jensen being 99.99999% of the time the top but thinking all the time about how Jared just wanted to get his dick up Jensen's ass again? Wouldn't it be the other way around, since Jared only ever topped the one time?) and he did the whole thing to begin with as a stunt to rekindle his popularity.
Not to mention not passing it along when it turned out that they were legit married. Jensen didn't know, Gen had no clue. Jared turned both of them into polygamists which is kinda illegal.
And those pictures! What was up with that? Jensen sends Jared that extremely hurtful stack of pictures to show Jared that he was just one of many - and had already been replaced - but then they wind up fucking the day after? When Jared is supposed to be on his honeymoon with Gen?
IDEK. You're right, it does feel like a revenge campaign and that doesn't at all jive with Jensen happily taking Jared back or how they became a powerhouse gay couple or whatnot.
And yet despite all of these problems (and more! I could keep ranting!) I actually like the story. I don't know why I like it. The characters are universally unlikable, the plot makes NO sense. Maybe the writing style? It sucked me in and kept my attention, that's for sure. And some of the OTT fighting was amusing. If they just hadn't hooked back up again, I think I'd have enjoyed it a lot more.
ayrt. No, I agree, his POV isn't annoying, but I found it pretty constricting. Jensen seemed way more rational/sympathetic to me as well, but then he's the POV character--his perspective is ours (literally). Even so, I agree, no idea why he's holding up his JP torch (other than the woo-sex-be-smoking thing). Obsession isn't rational, sure, but it would have helped A LOT to have seen some glimpses of their relationship when they were getting along. My guess is that, since this is a canon-based AU, the writer expected us to just tote all that in from outside this fanfic, that we wouldn't need it fleshed out. Which ... may have been a mistake in this context.
As for Gen, yeah, I can't even hazard a guess because the fanfic doesn't provide enough to base one on, sigh. Was she being used or was she just deluding herself? I'm assuming that the writer put in that 'breach of contract' suit (which isn't elaborated on after that) to cover the bigamy angle, implying that in face-saving publicity terms everyone had agreed to spin the situation as all parties having been in the know (when, in fact, only Jared had been).
The pictures were a wedding gift, but it doesn't specify at what point they got gifted. I think ... maybe the only way this works is if JA had actually dumped them on JP after the morning-after bathroom sex as a go-fuck-yourself gesture. Or, alternatively, that he'd sent them with firm intentions but found himself unable to resist the manly charms of JP the next morning? Uh. Don't know. (But it's perversely lulzy that they're all professional headshots.)
Potentially that 'career boost' business may have been JP lying through his teeth to both Lance and JA about his true motives as part of his Greater Plot of Vengeance. But wow, no way does Jared come over as anything but an asshole in the end. The wrong one went to therapy. O_o
And, yeah, IKR? Fun stuff. Chock full o' drama sans melodrama. Like a postcard from the sunny beaches of the id vortex.
Link to SPNanonhaven thread.