Going on holiday with ex
Hi, I've gotten really good advice here before, so here I am again!
About 3 weeks my boyfriend and I broke up. We have a long weekend booked in Bilbao in one weeks time and I have NO IDEA what to do about this. I'm not even slightly swinging one way about this so I need help.
After changing my mind lots, when I got on the phone to say to him, no, I do not want to go, he offered to cover my flight as long as I still pay half the hotel, because either way he's going to lose out on money so he would prefer it if I come along. So on one hand it's a free flight to Spain, but it's also my brothers birthday that weekend and all my friends will be around, and I can't decide what I'd rather do. I mean, there are lots of weekends where my friends are together, and not many weekends where someone is offering to take me abroad for free. But why would I choose my dickhead ex boyfriend over my friends?
I was starting to feel a lot less down about the relationship, and tbh, like I could handle spending time with him. But I'm an anxious and nervous person and all this uncertainty is making me feel really stressed out, and bringing back insecurities about myself that were fresh from the break up. I don't know how he feels, before it got to the time where it was like "oh shit! we're going on holiday", he was completely ignoring me and didn't want me in his life. Which was upsetting for me, the fact that I couldn't get a friendship at least out of the whole thing. So I'm happy that this has got us talking in a civil way to each other again.
My brother was in exactly the same situation was his ex, and although he will let me do what I want he warns me not to go because the result of him going was that the relationship was dragged on in this half limbo for long after the holiday ended because of it. I'm not expecting for this holiday to re-ignite anything. And I don't think we'll fight. I just think if anything, it will end and we'll continue with our lives separately, hopefully as better friends.
So what do you think I should do? I am totally torn. I think I do need a holiday, but we didn't break up too long ago, and admittedly I'm not feeling 100% positive about it.
Thanks!
About 3 weeks my boyfriend and I broke up. We have a long weekend booked in Bilbao in one weeks time and I have NO IDEA what to do about this. I'm not even slightly swinging one way about this so I need help.
After changing my mind lots, when I got on the phone to say to him, no, I do not want to go, he offered to cover my flight as long as I still pay half the hotel, because either way he's going to lose out on money so he would prefer it if I come along. So on one hand it's a free flight to Spain, but it's also my brothers birthday that weekend and all my friends will be around, and I can't decide what I'd rather do. I mean, there are lots of weekends where my friends are together, and not many weekends where someone is offering to take me abroad for free. But why would I choose my dickhead ex boyfriend over my friends?
I was starting to feel a lot less down about the relationship, and tbh, like I could handle spending time with him. But I'm an anxious and nervous person and all this uncertainty is making me feel really stressed out, and bringing back insecurities about myself that were fresh from the break up. I don't know how he feels, before it got to the time where it was like "oh shit! we're going on holiday", he was completely ignoring me and didn't want me in his life. Which was upsetting for me, the fact that I couldn't get a friendship at least out of the whole thing. So I'm happy that this has got us talking in a civil way to each other again.
My brother was in exactly the same situation was his ex, and although he will let me do what I want he warns me not to go because the result of him going was that the relationship was dragged on in this half limbo for long after the holiday ended because of it. I'm not expecting for this holiday to re-ignite anything. And I don't think we'll fight. I just think if anything, it will end and we'll continue with our lives separately, hopefully as better friends.
So what do you think I should do? I am totally torn. I think I do need a holiday, but we didn't break up too long ago, and admittedly I'm not feeling 100% positive about it.
Thanks!