(Untitled)

[redheadedrebel]

So I was basically set up by my mother with her neighbor's son who lives across the country.
I wasn't asked if I was interested or anything... I'm perfectly content being single, but I guess being single and 30 means I'm desperate or need assistance.
We literally have nothing in common except both being single. Oh and I'm not attracted to him in any

Comments

[komodopiss]

Spend some time rehearing before hand - I know how it is to freeze up on the phone and thinking about what you want to say before the fact ought to help but honestly? Just tell the truth.

[redheadedrebel]

thanks for the advice...
I think I have an idea of what needs to be said since I've had a few days to think it over. Telling the truth while not being brutally honest... thats what I hope to accomplish at least.

Its all very uncomfortable to me...
I've had to explain to my mother that there wasn't going to be anything as we have nothing in common and I'm not attracted to him in any way and that I wouldn't be convinced otherwise.

[katzendame]

Not to mention he lives across the country! But in reality, I probably wouldn't use that as an excuse, because I could see some people using that as a reason to move back to your area.

Just be honest. Tell him you are not interested in him in a romantic sort of way, and leave it at that. There's no reason to be sorry, you didn't ask for this.

And have a talk with your mom about not meddling in your romantic life, because you could potentially hurt people and make things awkward for everyone.

[redheadedrebel]

thanks for the advice

[lilka]

Any reason your mother shouldn't be the one to call him and tell him not to contact you again? She's the one who got you into this mess, and if she talked up your interest in him then she's the one who owes him an apology, not you.

If you do have to contact him yourself, keep it short and to the point - 'I've thought it over and I'm not interested in staying in touch with you, but I wish you all the best!' Don't try to apologise or explain, that creates the impression that this is up for discussion when it isn't. And yes, texting or emailing is perfectly fine - stick to what makes you comfortable.

[redheadedrebel]

It was both mothers... guessing some plan of their's based on us both being single(we really have nothing else in common... they were doing some far reaching to find anything else) and maybe his mother maybe looking for a way to get him closer to her after half of life of no contact(which only adds to the reach to connect us).

I would tell her to do it, but she still thinks its perfect... however since I told her it was an absolute no go, then maybe word has gotten back to him.

I've been working on a text to send him... I need to just send it and be done.

[diana_molloy]

No it's not horrible to text him. You don't owe him anything, this isn't a boyfriend or a situation you sought. Your mother thrust you into this. Be aware some men will stay friends to try and convince you and considering how forward he is already I eoykdnt be surprised if he's like that.

In your shoes Id text "hi X, im not currently looking to be in a relationship. My mother shouldn't have indicated I was. All the best".

[redheadedrebel]

Thanks!
There definitely won't be any convincing done to change my mind even if he thinks staying friends will get him what he wants. Literally the only thing we have in common is being single and our mothers being friends/neighbors. Theres absolutely no attraction on my part(guess I am a bit picky afterall...)and I'm not interested in any of his interests. oh and he despises my favorite type of music, which was a big red flag!

I like your text... I think I'll use it.

[segunyo]

"I'm so sorry our mothers are trying to meddle in our lives. I'm sure they mean well! I am not looking for a romantic partner at this time, I hope you understand. I wish you all the best, take care"