The Others

[naomi_campbell]

Disclaimer: This is just an abstract question about something my friend and I disagreed on, I'm not in this situation.

Do you think that someone who knowingly gets involved with a person who is already taken is just as bad as the cheater, or does all the responsibility fall on the person who is actually in a relationship?

Comments

[i_love_freddie]

I think it is different blame.

The person is the relationship holds the most responsibility, because they are the one who has made a promise and broken it. However, if somebody is actively pursuing someone they know to be in a relationship, and is helping them to sneak around and cheat - what does that say about that person? To me it says that they are selfish, lacking in morals and not to be trusted.

[lilka]

I wouldn't say 'just as bad as' but I do think it's a crappy thing to do. When I was younger, I was a very firm believer that it wasn't immoral to be the other wo/man - if you hadn't made anyone any promises it wasn't on you to police the bounds of somebody else's relationship. Now I think that's missing the point, and what matters is that if you help someone cheat, you're taking an action that you know will most likely hurt another person very badly. And that's pretty much never OK.

I do think that it's a bit messed up that the other wo/man gets blamed more than the cheater so often - for me, they're both in the wrong, but the cheater has done the worse thing - and it does get my hackles up that 'other women' seem to get more vitriol directed at them than 'other men'. But I guess if you're the cheatee in that situation, it's much easier to hate the outside party than the person you loved/are still in love with, especially if you're planning to stay together

[segunyo]

Just as bad. Why even go there? It's selfish and disrespectful of all parties involved. And there is no happy ending, can you ever really trust someone who was so willing to cheat on their last partner?

[segunyo]

Well...people change; I can't categorically say that.

[marblespire]

Just as bad. Let's face it: both parties began emotional and/or sexual overtures knowing that one of those parties was already in a committed relationship. That decision is poor, regardless of which of the two was the person already seeing someone.

[_whatnext]

Just as bad. I blame them both equally.

The only exception is if the "other person" genuinely didn't know.

[_whatnext]

It's Jessica from True Blood. I loved the wtf face, haha