What do you most regret losing?
Oh, Primus. First the end of the world question, and now this one? I think whoever’s coming up with these questions needs…I dunno, something to cheer them up with. Anything, just so they stop asking questions like this. Because stuff like death and dstruction and losing things-I kind of try to avoid them. Well, I think most people do anyway-because thinking about all this kind of stuff is really, really depressing after awhile, and you can trust me on that-but I really try to avoid stuff like this kind of question. I’ve seen a lot of bad stuff before, and I don’t like to think about. Well, everybody who knows me knows that already-Pit, the entire planet of Cybertron knows, because after…that…happened, it was kind of hard for anybody to not hear about it. Well, besides people who were off planet, obviously. But everybody on the planet heard about it, because it was…well, stuff like that doesn’t happen usually. Didn’t. Lots of stuff has changed since then, like the Decepticons getting more and more of Cybertron under their control, then us taking the Ark to go find energon and crash-landing on Earth, and then the four million year nap where we missed a really big chunk of the war-almost half of it-and woke up and found out that Earth’s pretty much the only planet that we have, and…Primus. See, this is why I hate questions like this. I get distracted and everything and well…bad memories get brought up, really bad ones that I don’t like thinking about, and what was the question again?
Regretting losing stuff. Okay. I regret losing a lot of stuff, although I guess everybody does. It’s just the way life is, right? You lose stuff and you wish you hadn’t and it goes on and on, like one of those really annoying songs you hear on the radio. You know about those, right? Human music is weird; it’s too flat. The sounds don’t go as high or as low because humans don’t hear like we do. I think that’s kind of sad, to have to miss out on interesting stuff like those kind of sounds. But anyway, I regret losing a lot of stuff. I regret losing…I regret losing my home. I regret losing my life-and I mean that both in the literal and non-literal way, because…well, I don’t talk about that, at least right now. I lost the old way I used to live, and I’ve also got this blank point in my memory between the battle at Autobot City and winding up in this whole big mess of universes, and… I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s really depressing, like this question is, and…moving on. I regret losing friends, and that’s not something I want to talk about either, because…because, it’s just one of those things. You know, where you really want to talk about something, but you just can’t do it for whatever reason. It’s like that. I don’t know why it’s like that-I mean, if you want to talk about something, you should be able to talk about it, right? But…you just can’t. But the thing I most regret losing…if I hadn’t lost it, maybe things would be different now. Maybe they’d be better, maybe they’d be worse, but I don’t really know because it’d change a lot of things, and who knows how stuff would change if it wasn’t for losing that. But I guess what I most regret losing is kind of dependent on something else I regret losing.
I regret losing myself. My mind, the way I think, my sanity-I don’t know how to describe it, but I know that there’s something not right with me. I wasn’t like this before…that. I didn’t talk anywhere near as much-and trust me, I notice when I talk a lot too, at least for awhile, but it’s just something that’s kind of automatic. I’ll just be bored or nervous or something and before you know it, I’ve opened my mouth and hey, I’m talking about something that keeps reminding me of other stuff-better stuff, stuff that doesn’t terrify me or anything like that-and so I can calm down. I can relax. And I do like to talk. And I just did the calming down thing right now. I like the distraction, it lets me kind of get myself back together, you know? So I can continue doing or talking about whatever. I’ve heard it be called a defense mechanism before; I don’t care what it’s called, only that it works. I’ve always liked to just kind of idly talk, but it was never a compulsion, I guess, before…that. I didn’t have trouble shutting down before that, either. Everybody gets times when they can’t shut down and get some sleep, right? But for me it’s always like that; and it never was that way before. I try to shut down and try to block out everything but I never really can, and I spend most of the night staring at my quarters, which doesn’t really help, although you’d think that staring at something boring like that for awhile would eventually bore you into unconciousness or something. But it doesn’t, so lots of times I wind up thinking about stuff like this, stuff that I try to block out, and it gets worse and worse, and…anyway, it’s bad. And it’s made me…I dunno, twitchy. Not as twitchy as Red Alert, thank Primus, but I don’t remember being nearly this bad any time before. Yeah, I try to keep it in check-I try to keep everything in check, which is a real pain in the aft sometimes-but it doesn’t work all that well. And…look, all I know is that I wasn’t like this before, and that trying to keep it under control really doesn’t work. So I just kind of deal with it, and run with it, and hope for the best. I regret losing my home, and I regret losing myself because of it.
Can we talk about something else now? Please? Because…Primus, I don’t know how much more thinking I can do on this. I’d rather thinking about…rocks, maybe. Rocks are always good to talk about when you’re upset-the old standby, you know? Because they’re just peaceful and harmless-well, mostly harmless, anyway; that’s kind of assuming that you don’t get caught in a rockslide-and they don’t make you depressed. They’re just nice, harmless rocks that you can focus on and think about and distract yourself with. I’m going to think about rocks and driving and just generally good stuff for awhile, and maybe find some high grade or something, because I don’t think I can take talking about regret for much longer. Focusing on not rambling is too hard.
Regretting losing stuff. Okay. I regret losing a lot of stuff, although I guess everybody does. It’s just the way life is, right? You lose stuff and you wish you hadn’t and it goes on and on, like one of those really annoying songs you hear on the radio. You know about those, right? Human music is weird; it’s too flat. The sounds don’t go as high or as low because humans don’t hear like we do. I think that’s kind of sad, to have to miss out on interesting stuff like those kind of sounds. But anyway, I regret losing a lot of stuff. I regret losing…I regret losing my home. I regret losing my life-and I mean that both in the literal and non-literal way, because…well, I don’t talk about that, at least right now. I lost the old way I used to live, and I’ve also got this blank point in my memory between the battle at Autobot City and winding up in this whole big mess of universes, and… I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s really depressing, like this question is, and…moving on. I regret losing friends, and that’s not something I want to talk about either, because…because, it’s just one of those things. You know, where you really want to talk about something, but you just can’t do it for whatever reason. It’s like that. I don’t know why it’s like that-I mean, if you want to talk about something, you should be able to talk about it, right? But…you just can’t. But the thing I most regret losing…if I hadn’t lost it, maybe things would be different now. Maybe they’d be better, maybe they’d be worse, but I don’t really know because it’d change a lot of things, and who knows how stuff would change if it wasn’t for losing that. But I guess what I most regret losing is kind of dependent on something else I regret losing.
I regret losing myself. My mind, the way I think, my sanity-I don’t know how to describe it, but I know that there’s something not right with me. I wasn’t like this before…that. I didn’t talk anywhere near as much-and trust me, I notice when I talk a lot too, at least for awhile, but it’s just something that’s kind of automatic. I’ll just be bored or nervous or something and before you know it, I’ve opened my mouth and hey, I’m talking about something that keeps reminding me of other stuff-better stuff, stuff that doesn’t terrify me or anything like that-and so I can calm down. I can relax. And I do like to talk. And I just did the calming down thing right now. I like the distraction, it lets me kind of get myself back together, you know? So I can continue doing or talking about whatever. I’ve heard it be called a defense mechanism before; I don’t care what it’s called, only that it works. I’ve always liked to just kind of idly talk, but it was never a compulsion, I guess, before…that. I didn’t have trouble shutting down before that, either. Everybody gets times when they can’t shut down and get some sleep, right? But for me it’s always like that; and it never was that way before. I try to shut down and try to block out everything but I never really can, and I spend most of the night staring at my quarters, which doesn’t really help, although you’d think that staring at something boring like that for awhile would eventually bore you into unconciousness or something. But it doesn’t, so lots of times I wind up thinking about stuff like this, stuff that I try to block out, and it gets worse and worse, and…anyway, it’s bad. And it’s made me…I dunno, twitchy. Not as twitchy as Red Alert, thank Primus, but I don’t remember being nearly this bad any time before. Yeah, I try to keep it in check-I try to keep everything in check, which is a real pain in the aft sometimes-but it doesn’t work all that well. And…look, all I know is that I wasn’t like this before, and that trying to keep it under control really doesn’t work. So I just kind of deal with it, and run with it, and hope for the best. I regret losing my home, and I regret losing myself because of it.
Can we talk about something else now? Please? Because…Primus, I don’t know how much more thinking I can do on this. I’d rather thinking about…rocks, maybe. Rocks are always good to talk about when you’re upset-the old standby, you know? Because they’re just peaceful and harmless-well, mostly harmless, anyway; that’s kind of assuming that you don’t get caught in a rockslide-and they don’t make you depressed. They’re just nice, harmless rocks that you can focus on and think about and distract yourself with. I’m going to think about rocks and driving and just generally good stuff for awhile, and maybe find some high grade or something, because I don’t think I can take talking about regret for much longer. Focusing on not rambling is too hard.