Another Chance To Bloom
What if Natsuki had turned out like Nao? AU. Shizuru/Natsuki
Another Chance to Bloom
By Tiger Dauthi
I would've liked to make this a long, long fic about Natsuki, who eventually ends up with Shizuru after lots of trials and hardships. Sadly, I don't have the time or motivation. So it's been condensed into a short, with a different happy ending.
WARNING: Dark and angsty. Involves prostitution. I'd say it rates an R.
There's a void in her heart every time she wakes up to a new day. The sun is shining brightly and the birds are chirping happy melodies. And all she can feel is a cold, cold emptiness.
There's a void in her heart every time someone fucks her, rams her against the wall and makes disgusting manly grunts as he thrusts in and out. He's always a talker, talking to her about his fat wife and how she's so flabby that they don't fuck anymore, and how she's such a beautiful girl, and why doesn't she go into a different business - and she curls her lip in contempt even as he holds his power over her, she curls her lip in contempt at this mockery of a man, this faggot who complains about his wife when he's so fucking fat, who believes that having young girls will make him better somehow.
They're all the same sorry faceless people. Leaving her with a wad of fat bills and a nothingness that eats her from the inside.
Always, always, they're filling her up as much as they can, until sometimes she feels so raw that they must've filled her up to the point of bursting. And always, always, the emptiness gets larger.
There's a void in her heart everytime she lays herself down to sleep, seeking for a vengeance that she no longer wants, for a love she no longer believes in. Sometimes she dreams, and happy illusions entrance her mind, thoughts of beautiful crystals and a gleaming silver wolf that stands regal next to her, and she is a queen, a princess. And then inevitably she wakes up, and the dark emptiness rushes in again.
It wasn't always this way, she remembers. It wasn't always getting money to pay for information, it wasn't always skipping class and fucking teachers, it wasn't always searching for something to fill the void.
There used to be a happy family there. She used to have a mother who looked just like her, only with square-rimmed glasses. She used to have a big curly-haired brown dog who had a nice name, though she can't recall it anymore. She used to visit her mother at a slightly ugly but warm building that was placed on the edge of the sea, and she used to play with her dog, sitting under the stars and staring at a pretty red star in the sky.
Sometimes she still looks for it, and wonders why it hurts so much every time she can't find it. She searches for it less and less often now, preferring not to deal with the pain and tears that make her seem more human, and just to accept the emptiness that is part of her life.
She laughs at this pitiful girl, who is broken and wants desperately to fill the void, but can't depart from what has become known intimately. She laughs at this dark-haired dark-eyed girl who has the porcelein features of a china doll, and yet is even worse and even lower than those revolting men with no life.
One day she goes to school. She ignores the curious stares of those who don't know and the mocking stares of those who do. Choruses of voices follow after her, whispering, "Whore. Bitch. Slut."
Suzushiro Haruka stops her in the hallways, yelling, "Kuga Natsuki! Go to the school council immediately! You are charged on account of prostitution and skipping class!" Suzushiro messes up saying prostitution and says chicken instead, stupid girl that she is. Kikukawa Yukino corrects her quickly, and focuses on her with the same expression of disgust and wonder that Suzushiro shows, a weak follower. She thinks those two would go well together, weakling genius with dominatrix idiot.
Kanzaki Reito interferes, smiling calmly and telling Suzushiro not to make a spectacle of the thing. Then he offers to lead Natsuki to the student council himself, being the vice president, and Suzushiro can't possibly refuse, although she certainly tries. Natsuki sneers at Kikukawa as she strides past them, the mocking look in her eyes showing that she knows Kikukawa's secret. She savors the taste of fear and power as Kikukawa cowers.
Reito leads her down the hallway, passing by the student council room, and instead going to the teacher's lounge, as she knows he will. He opens the door for her and bows in his befitting black uniform, and flashes a smile at her as she walks through. Quietly he closes the door, and they grin at each other one last time through the window before he turns and leaves. Reito-san is a trustworthy person, she thinks, and is what a man truly should be.
She stretches herself out against the lime-green sofa, turning the TV on and flipping randomly through the channels. A few moments later a teacher enters and gives a soft feminine gasp. She flips over onto her belly to see the auburn-haired teacher staring at her in horror and disgust. She returns the stare, smiling lazily at the way the volumes of fat hang down from her, and the undisguised envy that's also on her face. A moment later the teacher squeaks and scampers out of the room, leaving her pink crocodile skin purse behind. Natsuki briefly thinks of going over and rifling through the contents of the purse, but decides it's not worth it, and returns her attention to the television.
The door creaks open again and this time it's Mashimoto-sensei. He leers at her as he closes the door behind him and locks it, then struts over to her and looks at her appraisingly with tiny black eyes. She almost sneers at his strutting; she could break his skinny frame so easily - one snap and that ugly bag of skin and bones would be gone forever.
But she doesn't do anything, remains motionless as he stoops over and rips her clothes of hungrily. She narrows her eyes as he carelessly tears her new white blouse and places his cold and wrinkly fingers on her breasts, but says nothing. He quickly loosens his belt and lets his gray dress pants drop to the floor, then steps out of his white cotton boxers, which are already bulging.
He kneels over her and she parts her legs obligingly, even as her nose wrinkles at the musty old-man scent that assaults her nostrils.
Old wizened fools don't last long, she thinks, as he comes into her after just a couple grunts. He pulls himself out, then sits on the edge of the sofa, which is turning a bleached yellow color from all the semen.
"The money's on the counter," he rasps. "Now get out."
He still believes that he can be a young man and seem an upright and honest person. He lies to himself on both counts.
She allows herself to sneer at him as she gets dressed, taking the stack of yen and striding calmly out the doorway. As she closes the door she can see him standing up, holding his limp shriveled cock and staring at it in dismay.
A voice suddenly rings out behind her.
"Oh dear, you look quite messy."
She whips around to face a brown-haired girl wearing a traditional dress, head cocked to the side and mouth quirked up in an amused smile. The girl is the polar opposite of her, and it incites enough anger for her to speak and snarl viciously, "It's none of your business!"
The taller girl doesn't seem fazed by this, and continues to smile at her eerily. The strange red eyes drink in her appearance, but Natsuki feels that this odd girl isn't looking at how dirty or tattered she is at all.
The girl takes a step towards her, and Natsuki scowls, all senses on guard. Quick as lightning the girl grabs her by the arm, and Natsuki struggles violently, flailing out in all directions. To her surprise, the girl lets her go, causing her to fall onto the floor.
"Would you like to go on a walk with me?"
She stares at the girl blankly.
It surprises her when she takes the girl's outstretched hand readily, and allows herself to be pulled up and lead outside. It surprises her even more to find that she has to slow down for the girl, whose traditional slippers make it hard for her to run. But there are many surprising things about this person, who treats her with courtesy and kindness.
They walk out into the sun, a comfortable silence stretching between them. People walk by and stare at them, and Natsuki is amazed to find that they no longer stare with contempt, but instead with joy and wonder, until she realizes that they're all staring at the brown-haired girl walking to the left of her. She glances up at the person in wonder. The girl notices the movement and inclines her head towards Natsuki, giving her a wink and murmuring, "We make such a scandalous pair."
She says the word scandalous with such innuendo that Natsuki can't help but turn away and blush. A funny pleased feeling comes over her, and she looks down at the ground to hide it.
A firm grip over her hand causes her to look up again, and she's startled as the girl leads her into a garden of flowers. There's no one in sight, and the soft breeze blowing through makes her feel content and safe.
She sights a smattering of dandelions among the otherwise perfect garden, and she remembers the dandelions growing in the rocky dirt at the lab, and how she used to pick and tickle her dog with them as a child. The perfect scenery before her seems to shatter into an ugly pasture, and the anger comes rushing back into her, filling her with more rage then she could ever remember. She stomps over to the swaying flowers and reaches out a hand to rip them out and destroy the orderliness.
A hand on her shoulder stops her, and she turns her head around, fully intending to lash out and fight. The words that greet her make her freeze, unable to move away from the face that stares at her with turbulent emotions.
"You shouldn't do that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved."
The girl smiles.
"Since it's doing its best to bloom during its short life."
Somehow she doesn't think the girl is really talking about the flowers at all. She continues staring into the girl's dull red eyes, frozen completely. It isn't until the girl shifts away that the spell is broken, and Natsuki finds that the anger that had gushed up so suddenly has completely drained away.
Only something's different.
She finds, as she collapses onto the grass, that something's missing. As she talks to this strange girl, who has a distinct Kyoto accent, about trivialities, that something's gone. When the girl makes her blush yet again with some teasing comment, that it's faded away.
Natsuki reaches for a dandelion and snaps it, saying before the girl can object, "It's a weed, and it was ugly anyway."
The girl stares at her, eyes raised, and Natsuki suddenly feels ashamed of her comment. Nevertheless, she waves the dandelion under the girl's nose, smiling wickedly. The girl sneezes, and a startled look comes over her features for a moment. Her face quickly returns to its placant and amused expression, and Natsuki scowls, slightly annoyed. She jumps as the girl swipes the dandelion from her and waves it under her own face, causing her to sneeze.
With a playful growl she says, "Oh, I'll get you for that!"
The girl sits there with her hands cupped around her nose, but Natsuki leaps forward and tackles her instead, tickling the girl. The girl starts giggling, (although she gives a valiant effort to stop) but turns the tables on Natsuki by reaching up and tickling her abdomen. Natsuki collapses on top of her, but is still determined to win, and so digs her fingers even deeper into the smooth silk. She doesn't even realize how close she really is to the girl until their cheeks bump together, brushing against each other. With a start she raises her head back up, and stares into the other girl's face.
She can see all the little translucent hairs that line her forehead, and pick out the chestnut eyelashes, which shadow red eyes that are staring at her with something unreadable. The nose is slightly pointy, but perfectly proportioned with the cream-skinned face.
Without thought, she tips forward and kisses the slightly-parted lips.
She suddenly realizes what she's done and pushes herself up in a panic, but two arms encircle her back and bring her back down, crushing her to the other girl's body. For a moment she struggles blindly, but then settles back down as her senses return to her. Sighing, she buries her neck against the other girl's and closes her eyes.
A rush of warmth and joy fills her, and she realizes that it was the emptiness that had disappeared. She snuggles closer against the girl, causing her to sigh softly.
Natsuki finds that she'd fallen asleep when she opens her eyes. The sun is setting and there's a ticklish sensation on her back. The brown-haired girl is tracing something with her finger, and she mewls softly, eliciting a chuckle from the girl.
"I was writing beautiful, but maybe I should write lazy kitty instead," she teases.
Natsuki flushes and buries her head in her arms.
A rustling against the grass tells her that the girl has moved, and she turns her head to see the girl lying back on her arms.
"You know," the girl remarks. "You aren't so bad."
Natsuki stares at the girl quizzically.
"I was told you were a horrible slut, the very existence of you defiling this school's integrity."
The girl pauses, and sits forward to rest her chin on her hands.
"But you're a much better person than all of them."
Something unlocks inside of her, and washes the last vestiges of darkness away from her heart.
"You're not so bad either," she whispers softly.
The girl smiles and says, "Thank you." She leans forward and pecks Natsuki's cheek, then sits back again. Her face is scrunched up in anxiety though, and it's driving Natsuki crazy.
Natsuki is almost about to ask her what's wrong when suddenly she says, "That's what I was forgetting! I haven't introduced myself to you, have I?"
Natsuki is surprised herself.
The girl extends a hand towards her.
"I'm Fujino Shizuru."
Surprise comes rushing onto Natsuki's face. This strange girl who's not serious about anything is the President of the school council? Shizuru doesn't seem to mind her poorly disguised shock though, and Natsuki recovers readily enough.
Grasping the hand firmly, she gives it a strong shake and smiles at Shizuru brilliantly.
"And I'm Kuga Natsuki."
~fin
That was... strange, to say the least. I didn't really like the ending at all, but ah well. And there are a lot and a lot of mechanical booboos. But this wasn't meant to be a "edited and betaed" story anyway, although as always, constructive criticism is appreciated!
Another Chance to Bloom
By Tiger Dauthi
I would've liked to make this a long, long fic about Natsuki, who eventually ends up with Shizuru after lots of trials and hardships. Sadly, I don't have the time or motivation. So it's been condensed into a short, with a different happy ending.
WARNING: Dark and angsty. Involves prostitution. I'd say it rates an R.
There's a void in her heart every time she wakes up to a new day. The sun is shining brightly and the birds are chirping happy melodies. And all she can feel is a cold, cold emptiness.
There's a void in her heart every time someone fucks her, rams her against the wall and makes disgusting manly grunts as he thrusts in and out. He's always a talker, talking to her about his fat wife and how she's so flabby that they don't fuck anymore, and how she's such a beautiful girl, and why doesn't she go into a different business - and she curls her lip in contempt even as he holds his power over her, she curls her lip in contempt at this mockery of a man, this faggot who complains about his wife when he's so fucking fat, who believes that having young girls will make him better somehow.
They're all the same sorry faceless people. Leaving her with a wad of fat bills and a nothingness that eats her from the inside.
Always, always, they're filling her up as much as they can, until sometimes she feels so raw that they must've filled her up to the point of bursting. And always, always, the emptiness gets larger.
There's a void in her heart everytime she lays herself down to sleep, seeking for a vengeance that she no longer wants, for a love she no longer believes in. Sometimes she dreams, and happy illusions entrance her mind, thoughts of beautiful crystals and a gleaming silver wolf that stands regal next to her, and she is a queen, a princess. And then inevitably she wakes up, and the dark emptiness rushes in again.
It wasn't always this way, she remembers. It wasn't always getting money to pay for information, it wasn't always skipping class and fucking teachers, it wasn't always searching for something to fill the void.
There used to be a happy family there. She used to have a mother who looked just like her, only with square-rimmed glasses. She used to have a big curly-haired brown dog who had a nice name, though she can't recall it anymore. She used to visit her mother at a slightly ugly but warm building that was placed on the edge of the sea, and she used to play with her dog, sitting under the stars and staring at a pretty red star in the sky.
Sometimes she still looks for it, and wonders why it hurts so much every time she can't find it. She searches for it less and less often now, preferring not to deal with the pain and tears that make her seem more human, and just to accept the emptiness that is part of her life.
She laughs at this pitiful girl, who is broken and wants desperately to fill the void, but can't depart from what has become known intimately. She laughs at this dark-haired dark-eyed girl who has the porcelein features of a china doll, and yet is even worse and even lower than those revolting men with no life.
One day she goes to school. She ignores the curious stares of those who don't know and the mocking stares of those who do. Choruses of voices follow after her, whispering, "Whore. Bitch. Slut."
Suzushiro Haruka stops her in the hallways, yelling, "Kuga Natsuki! Go to the school council immediately! You are charged on account of prostitution and skipping class!" Suzushiro messes up saying prostitution and says chicken instead, stupid girl that she is. Kikukawa Yukino corrects her quickly, and focuses on her with the same expression of disgust and wonder that Suzushiro shows, a weak follower. She thinks those two would go well together, weakling genius with dominatrix idiot.
Kanzaki Reito interferes, smiling calmly and telling Suzushiro not to make a spectacle of the thing. Then he offers to lead Natsuki to the student council himself, being the vice president, and Suzushiro can't possibly refuse, although she certainly tries. Natsuki sneers at Kikukawa as she strides past them, the mocking look in her eyes showing that she knows Kikukawa's secret. She savors the taste of fear and power as Kikukawa cowers.
Reito leads her down the hallway, passing by the student council room, and instead going to the teacher's lounge, as she knows he will. He opens the door for her and bows in his befitting black uniform, and flashes a smile at her as she walks through. Quietly he closes the door, and they grin at each other one last time through the window before he turns and leaves. Reito-san is a trustworthy person, she thinks, and is what a man truly should be.
She stretches herself out against the lime-green sofa, turning the TV on and flipping randomly through the channels. A few moments later a teacher enters and gives a soft feminine gasp. She flips over onto her belly to see the auburn-haired teacher staring at her in horror and disgust. She returns the stare, smiling lazily at the way the volumes of fat hang down from her, and the undisguised envy that's also on her face. A moment later the teacher squeaks and scampers out of the room, leaving her pink crocodile skin purse behind. Natsuki briefly thinks of going over and rifling through the contents of the purse, but decides it's not worth it, and returns her attention to the television.
The door creaks open again and this time it's Mashimoto-sensei. He leers at her as he closes the door behind him and locks it, then struts over to her and looks at her appraisingly with tiny black eyes. She almost sneers at his strutting; she could break his skinny frame so easily - one snap and that ugly bag of skin and bones would be gone forever.
But she doesn't do anything, remains motionless as he stoops over and rips her clothes of hungrily. She narrows her eyes as he carelessly tears her new white blouse and places his cold and wrinkly fingers on her breasts, but says nothing. He quickly loosens his belt and lets his gray dress pants drop to the floor, then steps out of his white cotton boxers, which are already bulging.
He kneels over her and she parts her legs obligingly, even as her nose wrinkles at the musty old-man scent that assaults her nostrils.
Old wizened fools don't last long, she thinks, as he comes into her after just a couple grunts. He pulls himself out, then sits on the edge of the sofa, which is turning a bleached yellow color from all the semen.
"The money's on the counter," he rasps. "Now get out."
He still believes that he can be a young man and seem an upright and honest person. He lies to himself on both counts.
She allows herself to sneer at him as she gets dressed, taking the stack of yen and striding calmly out the doorway. As she closes the door she can see him standing up, holding his limp shriveled cock and staring at it in dismay.
A voice suddenly rings out behind her.
"Oh dear, you look quite messy."
She whips around to face a brown-haired girl wearing a traditional dress, head cocked to the side and mouth quirked up in an amused smile. The girl is the polar opposite of her, and it incites enough anger for her to speak and snarl viciously, "It's none of your business!"
The taller girl doesn't seem fazed by this, and continues to smile at her eerily. The strange red eyes drink in her appearance, but Natsuki feels that this odd girl isn't looking at how dirty or tattered she is at all.
The girl takes a step towards her, and Natsuki scowls, all senses on guard. Quick as lightning the girl grabs her by the arm, and Natsuki struggles violently, flailing out in all directions. To her surprise, the girl lets her go, causing her to fall onto the floor.
"Would you like to go on a walk with me?"
She stares at the girl blankly.
It surprises her when she takes the girl's outstretched hand readily, and allows herself to be pulled up and lead outside. It surprises her even more to find that she has to slow down for the girl, whose traditional slippers make it hard for her to run. But there are many surprising things about this person, who treats her with courtesy and kindness.
They walk out into the sun, a comfortable silence stretching between them. People walk by and stare at them, and Natsuki is amazed to find that they no longer stare with contempt, but instead with joy and wonder, until she realizes that they're all staring at the brown-haired girl walking to the left of her. She glances up at the person in wonder. The girl notices the movement and inclines her head towards Natsuki, giving her a wink and murmuring, "We make such a scandalous pair."
She says the word scandalous with such innuendo that Natsuki can't help but turn away and blush. A funny pleased feeling comes over her, and she looks down at the ground to hide it.
A firm grip over her hand causes her to look up again, and she's startled as the girl leads her into a garden of flowers. There's no one in sight, and the soft breeze blowing through makes her feel content and safe.
She sights a smattering of dandelions among the otherwise perfect garden, and she remembers the dandelions growing in the rocky dirt at the lab, and how she used to pick and tickle her dog with them as a child. The perfect scenery before her seems to shatter into an ugly pasture, and the anger comes rushing back into her, filling her with more rage then she could ever remember. She stomps over to the swaying flowers and reaches out a hand to rip them out and destroy the orderliness.
A hand on her shoulder stops her, and she turns her head around, fully intending to lash out and fight. The words that greet her make her freeze, unable to move away from the face that stares at her with turbulent emotions.
"You shouldn't do that. Beautiful flowers are to be loved."
The girl smiles.
"Since it's doing its best to bloom during its short life."
Somehow she doesn't think the girl is really talking about the flowers at all. She continues staring into the girl's dull red eyes, frozen completely. It isn't until the girl shifts away that the spell is broken, and Natsuki finds that the anger that had gushed up so suddenly has completely drained away.
Only something's different.
She finds, as she collapses onto the grass, that something's missing. As she talks to this strange girl, who has a distinct Kyoto accent, about trivialities, that something's gone. When the girl makes her blush yet again with some teasing comment, that it's faded away.
Natsuki reaches for a dandelion and snaps it, saying before the girl can object, "It's a weed, and it was ugly anyway."
The girl stares at her, eyes raised, and Natsuki suddenly feels ashamed of her comment. Nevertheless, she waves the dandelion under the girl's nose, smiling wickedly. The girl sneezes, and a startled look comes over her features for a moment. Her face quickly returns to its placant and amused expression, and Natsuki scowls, slightly annoyed. She jumps as the girl swipes the dandelion from her and waves it under her own face, causing her to sneeze.
With a playful growl she says, "Oh, I'll get you for that!"
The girl sits there with her hands cupped around her nose, but Natsuki leaps forward and tackles her instead, tickling the girl. The girl starts giggling, (although she gives a valiant effort to stop) but turns the tables on Natsuki by reaching up and tickling her abdomen. Natsuki collapses on top of her, but is still determined to win, and so digs her fingers even deeper into the smooth silk. She doesn't even realize how close she really is to the girl until their cheeks bump together, brushing against each other. With a start she raises her head back up, and stares into the other girl's face.
She can see all the little translucent hairs that line her forehead, and pick out the chestnut eyelashes, which shadow red eyes that are staring at her with something unreadable. The nose is slightly pointy, but perfectly proportioned with the cream-skinned face.
Without thought, she tips forward and kisses the slightly-parted lips.
She suddenly realizes what she's done and pushes herself up in a panic, but two arms encircle her back and bring her back down, crushing her to the other girl's body. For a moment she struggles blindly, but then settles back down as her senses return to her. Sighing, she buries her neck against the other girl's and closes her eyes.
A rush of warmth and joy fills her, and she realizes that it was the emptiness that had disappeared. She snuggles closer against the girl, causing her to sigh softly.
Natsuki finds that she'd fallen asleep when she opens her eyes. The sun is setting and there's a ticklish sensation on her back. The brown-haired girl is tracing something with her finger, and she mewls softly, eliciting a chuckle from the girl.
"I was writing beautiful, but maybe I should write lazy kitty instead," she teases.
Natsuki flushes and buries her head in her arms.
A rustling against the grass tells her that the girl has moved, and she turns her head to see the girl lying back on her arms.
"You know," the girl remarks. "You aren't so bad."
Natsuki stares at the girl quizzically.
"I was told you were a horrible slut, the very existence of you defiling this school's integrity."
The girl pauses, and sits forward to rest her chin on her hands.
"But you're a much better person than all of them."
Something unlocks inside of her, and washes the last vestiges of darkness away from her heart.
"You're not so bad either," she whispers softly.
The girl smiles and says, "Thank you." She leans forward and pecks Natsuki's cheek, then sits back again. Her face is scrunched up in anxiety though, and it's driving Natsuki crazy.
Natsuki is almost about to ask her what's wrong when suddenly she says, "That's what I was forgetting! I haven't introduced myself to you, have I?"
Natsuki is surprised herself.
The girl extends a hand towards her.
"I'm Fujino Shizuru."
Surprise comes rushing onto Natsuki's face. This strange girl who's not serious about anything is the President of the school council? Shizuru doesn't seem to mind her poorly disguised shock though, and Natsuki recovers readily enough.
Grasping the hand firmly, she gives it a strong shake and smiles at Shizuru brilliantly.
"And I'm Kuga Natsuki."
~fin
That was... strange, to say the least. I didn't really like the ending at all, but ah well. And there are a lot and a lot of mechanical booboos. But this wasn't meant to be a "edited and betaed" story anyway, although as always, constructive criticism is appreciated!