I cherish the cliff-face walls that reach up into the sky, their pages fluttering from rock to bare branch, starlings aplenty, and meander the labyrinth of my ever-fogged mind.

While I have not moved into the far-off territories beyond the Deadly Desert and the Mountains of Madness, I have succeeded in returning to the place where I was a couple of years ago, in the relative safety of an apartment, numerous tomes, and the glories of walking through the city where I've long felt myself becoming a corpse ( Read more... )

Took a jaunty drive in search of books today, despite the impending snow storm and a generally fuck-off attitude toward the month. Found ( Read more... )

I get a little further each day ( Read more... )

I am thankful for the sense of taste . . . Thankful that I have no allergies, no problems with the textures of food, with smells and sights. I was able to spend a delightful 3-hour dinner with two friends, and I left with the oddest feeling: I want to fuck for my life ( Read more... )

As I receive postcards from my brother in prison, I have learned that I have not let go of the image in my mind: he's a little boy, defenseless, immature, and happy as a puppy ( Read more... )

I didn't want to lose,
But when I saw
Everything I would win,
The idea of losing
Seemed the sweetest
Flower
That could blossom
Above my heart . . .

So I lost, and
Gained everything.

************************************

I have not been this content in years.

Why the disrespect? Why the refusal to meet me on my own terms? I'd be better off never seeing you ever again ( Read more... )

I can tell I'm frozen in place, in time, in living. I'm no longer "living", I'm simply "decaying ( Read more... )

It's scary, realizing you have internal, dream-like, hallucination-like experiences that no one can understand and which you cannot communicate. Being alone like that . . . It is the most lonely place I am in.

I'm watching the world rupture around me, venom and darkness leaking out of rotted, gangrened skin. The dark waters of the world churn, boil ( Read more... )