(no subject)
i had a great birthday! got mostly everything i wanted spent the day w/ an amazing person. and just wanted to thanks everyone who wished me a happy birthday...it really meant a lot.
wedding crashers was pretty funny. i mean just like any vince vaugh or owen wilson movie w/ really funny parts. but good for the most part.
ok well i dont really write anymore b/c i always tend to write about stupid things...but since no one is awake or doing things...or online i need to express my feelings somehow.
so here goes...lately i was feeling unsure about where things are going in my love life..then i realize i dont NEED a boyfriend...im always concerned about trying to find a guy to like, trying to impress, sometime it results in me doing something stupid...like fooling around w/ someone....mainly just to feel that closeness to someone
but lately something has been going on between me and lee. something i wasnt sure about. i mean i didnt want to be someone who got between a guy and his girl of 4 years. so i hung out w/ lee w/ the mentality that we were just friends. he is most everything i want in a guy. I mean hes like a really good friend i think is attractive. so it should be perfect for me.
tonight after the movies he told me he really liked me and he told me how much he wanted to kiss me. and all along i have felt that...but i never wanted it to get myself into another heartache when he decided he wanted to get back w/ his g/f...b/c just like 3 days ago they broke up. and still that doesnt mean i should just move in...he was w/ her for 4 yrs! i could only imagine the closeness. but he tells me that he isnt going to go back to her...but he doesnt know that right now...in my opinion.
i have just been doing nothing but looking for someone to date. here it is right in front of me and im too scared to take it. im scared of everything. Im scared i may like someone else...brian, but hes in the army..and i dont know how he feels about me anymore....im scared that i will fall hard for this guy simply b/c the fact that he really likes me and i feel secure w/ him...and then his feelings may change and i iwll be heart broken again....its not a good feeling. im scared of really hurting him..scared that i might start to date him go into the normal b/f g/f routine and want to feel that way for someone else if that person should come...just scared that i will make a mistake that will harm me in the long run somewhat.
i talked to eric tonight and he gave me good advice: just to sleep on it. so i think i just need to clear my head and go w/ what my heart tells me...i think i just need time to decied what i want. im a emotional wreck.
its been a great day though. one of the best birthdays ever...thanks to lee.
wedding crashers was pretty funny. i mean just like any vince vaugh or owen wilson movie w/ really funny parts. but good for the most part.
ok well i dont really write anymore b/c i always tend to write about stupid things...but since no one is awake or doing things...or online i need to express my feelings somehow.
so here goes...lately i was feeling unsure about where things are going in my love life..then i realize i dont NEED a boyfriend...im always concerned about trying to find a guy to like, trying to impress, sometime it results in me doing something stupid...like fooling around w/ someone....mainly just to feel that closeness to someone
but lately something has been going on between me and lee. something i wasnt sure about. i mean i didnt want to be someone who got between a guy and his girl of 4 years. so i hung out w/ lee w/ the mentality that we were just friends. he is most everything i want in a guy. I mean hes like a really good friend i think is attractive. so it should be perfect for me.
tonight after the movies he told me he really liked me and he told me how much he wanted to kiss me. and all along i have felt that...but i never wanted it to get myself into another heartache when he decided he wanted to get back w/ his g/f...b/c just like 3 days ago they broke up. and still that doesnt mean i should just move in...he was w/ her for 4 yrs! i could only imagine the closeness. but he tells me that he isnt going to go back to her...but he doesnt know that right now...in my opinion.
i have just been doing nothing but looking for someone to date. here it is right in front of me and im too scared to take it. im scared of everything. Im scared i may like someone else...brian, but hes in the army..and i dont know how he feels about me anymore....im scared that i will fall hard for this guy simply b/c the fact that he really likes me and i feel secure w/ him...and then his feelings may change and i iwll be heart broken again....its not a good feeling. im scared of really hurting him..scared that i might start to date him go into the normal b/f g/f routine and want to feel that way for someone else if that person should come...just scared that i will make a mistake that will harm me in the long run somewhat.
i talked to eric tonight and he gave me good advice: just to sleep on it. so i think i just need to clear my head and go w/ what my heart tells me...i think i just need time to decied what i want. im a emotional wreck.
its been a great day though. one of the best birthdays ever...thanks to lee.