PPC Mission 2: Demanding.
Title: Demanding
Author: Lady Patience
Rating: M
Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3089092/1/Demanding
Sporked by:dawnbluewings, as Agent Rose/Ross
Notes: Femslash, Incest, dub-con, OOCness out the wazoo, and finding out who has the biggest bell.
Disclaimer: I do not own the PPC. It was created by the incomparable Jay and Acacia many, many years ago. Nor do I own this fic. Thank the gods. What I do own is Agent Rose/Ross, for whom Permission was granted on June 22nd, 2009, by Techno-Dann. Thank you.
***
Mission 2: Demanding
The scene in RC Sp’nüff(24) was too peaceful for the Rules of Narrative Comedy to let stand. Rose, or perhaps Ross, her partner, twin brother, and alternate personality, was sitting in her (or perhaps his) large, comfortable, green chair, the German Shepherd they had rescued from their last mission sitting in their lap, looking for all the world like she thought she was a terrier, while a pair of Mini-Stormwings and a few Pidgins vied for perch on top of the Console.
The twins had finally settled on a name for the dog - Nemo - when the Console let out a loud
[BEEEEEELLIMERE’SNOTLIKETHATEEEP!]
Ross, having caught the words somehow emitted by the Console, closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around the dog Nemo’s neck, and buried his face in her fur. “Go away,” he informed the Console, dreading what he would eventually have to get up and look at.
After another insistent beep, Rose removed Nemo from her lap, and went to look.
After a moment, she reached for her bell. “Well then. That’s certainly… Um…”
“Incestuous?” volunteered Ross, pulling their bell from a nearby bookshelf, gripping the handle with such ferocity that their knuckles were going white.
“That, too,” said Rose, and turned to the wall, looking for the appropriate books. She found them, as well as the roll of duct-tape, and stashed both in the pockets of her cargo-pants, before dialing in disguises - random palace servant it was - and opening a portal into Beslisaere, the Old Kingdom. All of this was accomplished while still holding the bell.
“I hate slash like this,” said Ross, as they carefully hid the twenty-pound bell in their skirts, glad that his pockets had translated into the pockets of the skirt.
“You know I do, too,” replied his sister, watching Ellimere and Lirael walk past.
They followed the two women closely, managing to slip into Ellimere’s bedroom before she locked the door, and ensconcing themselves in the closet to watch.
“At least the spelling and grammar are alright. Not like that last one,” remarked Ross, watching Ellimere back one of his primary Lust Objects up against the door, and, ordering rather than asking, kissing her.
“That just makes it all the worse,” said Rose, as a kiss degenerated into very dubiously consensual sex, including the phrase “Aunt Lirael, you’re going to fuck me now” .
Ross was busy scribbling charges - again using his arm rather than his notebook. He was gripping his bell too tightly to allow for holding a notebook still. He steadily refused to watch the proceedings, until his sister grabbed control of their shared body, and looked up. “Well then. Badly defined sex. Beautiful. At least the author didn’t go into too great of detail. We can be thankful of that…”
“Yes, but… LiraelxEllimere? And… Oh gods. She has Ellie getting engaged to Nick at the end. Nick!” Rose shut Ross up before he started yelling and roused the interest of the Canons. The twins were so distracted by a horrified reading of the Words that they failed to note the time and location jump until it was too late.
Ross uncurled from around his bell where he was now lying on the floor of Lirael’s room, feeling physically ill both from the jump, and from watching what basically amounted to Ellimere raping Lirael.
“When can we kill it?” he demanded, looking very pained.
“Just a little more,” said his sister, soothingly, though equally disgusted.
A whirl of exposition later, Rose and Ross were again on the floor, staring up at aunt and niece, both naked, as Ellimere calmly explained that she was going to get engaged to Nick.
“Alright, that’s it,” muttered Ross, and uncurled himself completely. A quick look at their CAD to confirm his suspicion - OOC ratings in the high 70’s - and Ross stood up, bell in hand. “Well girls, look which one of us has the biggest bell,” he said, and hit both of them with it. The noise that it made was likely to bring the entire palace running, but that didn’t matter. Twenty pounds of bronze had been enough to knock out both Sub!Lirael and Dom!Ellimere. Finally setting the bell down, Ross duct-taped both women to the bed, and set about making a circle of candles.
When the two Canons came to, Ross had placed a copy of Abhorson on Ellimere’s chest, and, appropriately enough, he couldn’t help but think, a copy of Lirael on the chest of its titular character. He was waiting, bell at the ready, candles lit, and a saintly expression on his face.
When he was certain both Canons were awake, he began to ring his bell, the noise of the thing that had once hung from his grandfather’s yacht nearly deafening all within the chamber. “Avaunt, oh spirit of Bad Slash!” he cried, over the noise of clapper hitting bell. “Avaunt, incest! Avaunt dub-con! I banish thee, anachronistic speech! Get thee behind me, submissive Lirael! In the name of NIX, I compel thee A-FUCKING-VAUNT!”
As the author-wraith left the pair, she came out with promises of more “I’ll probably be doing LiraelxSabriel next…”
“And I’ll kill it if you do,” said Ross, pulling out his fountain-pen and making a pentagram in the air through the wraith, dissipating it quickly. “Now then,” he said, turning to the now thoroughly traumatized Canons, and pulling out the Neuralyzer. “Look this way, please, ladies!” he said, putting on his sunglasses and pressing the button.
[FLASH!]
Ross took off his sunglasses, gave the women a brilliant smile, and began un-taping them. “Princess Ellimere of Beslisaere, you have no interest whatsoever in having sexual relations with your aunt. Nor do you wish to dominate her. You are also not getting engaged to Nick Sayre. Abhorsen-in-waiting and Remeberancer Lirael, you are not a submissive mouse. Nor do you have any interest in your niece. The pair of you were just having a nice talk about… About sword-fighting. Fully clothed. Thank you. You can put on your clothing now.”
With that, Ross opened the portal, retrieved his bell, books, and candles, and stepped back into the RC with a sigh.
“Sword-fighting?” demanded his sister, a few minutes later, when both had calmed down.
“Well? Could you have done better if that was a nude Costis and Gen you were talking to? I was… distracted. I was doing my best!” Ross shook his head, and dropped his face into his hands. “That was rather painful. Not as bad as it could have been, but…” he sighed again, and gave the insistent Nemo a pet, before going and snagging their Rat, Uhpostrofee, out from behind the Console, and cuddling her to him. “I hate slash like that…”
Author: Lady Patience
Rating: M
Obligatory linkage: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3089092/1/Demanding
Sporked by:dawnbluewings, as Agent Rose/Ross
Notes: Femslash, Incest, dub-con, OOCness out the wazoo, and finding out who has the biggest bell.
Disclaimer: I do not own the PPC. It was created by the incomparable Jay and Acacia many, many years ago. Nor do I own this fic. Thank the gods. What I do own is Agent Rose/Ross, for whom Permission was granted on June 22nd, 2009, by Techno-Dann. Thank you.
***
Mission 2: Demanding
The scene in RC Sp’nüff(24) was too peaceful for the Rules of Narrative Comedy to let stand. Rose, or perhaps Ross, her partner, twin brother, and alternate personality, was sitting in her (or perhaps his) large, comfortable, green chair, the German Shepherd they had rescued from their last mission sitting in their lap, looking for all the world like she thought she was a terrier, while a pair of Mini-Stormwings and a few Pidgins vied for perch on top of the Console.
The twins had finally settled on a name for the dog - Nemo - when the Console let out a loud
[BEEEEEELLIMERE’SNOTLIKETHATEEEP!]
Ross, having caught the words somehow emitted by the Console, closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around the dog Nemo’s neck, and buried his face in her fur. “Go away,” he informed the Console, dreading what he would eventually have to get up and look at.
After another insistent beep, Rose removed Nemo from her lap, and went to look.
After a moment, she reached for her bell. “Well then. That’s certainly… Um…”
“Incestuous?” volunteered Ross, pulling their bell from a nearby bookshelf, gripping the handle with such ferocity that their knuckles were going white.
“That, too,” said Rose, and turned to the wall, looking for the appropriate books. She found them, as well as the roll of duct-tape, and stashed both in the pockets of her cargo-pants, before dialing in disguises - random palace servant it was - and opening a portal into Beslisaere, the Old Kingdom. All of this was accomplished while still holding the bell.
“I hate slash like this,” said Ross, as they carefully hid the twenty-pound bell in their skirts, glad that his pockets had translated into the pockets of the skirt.
“You know I do, too,” replied his sister, watching Ellimere and Lirael walk past.
They followed the two women closely, managing to slip into Ellimere’s bedroom before she locked the door, and ensconcing themselves in the closet to watch.
“At least the spelling and grammar are alright. Not like that last one,” remarked Ross, watching Ellimere back one of his primary Lust Objects up against the door, and, ordering rather than asking, kissing her.
“That just makes it all the worse,” said Rose, as a kiss degenerated into very dubiously consensual sex, including the phrase “Aunt Lirael, you’re going to fuck me now” .
Ross was busy scribbling charges - again using his arm rather than his notebook. He was gripping his bell too tightly to allow for holding a notebook still. He steadily refused to watch the proceedings, until his sister grabbed control of their shared body, and looked up. “Well then. Badly defined sex. Beautiful. At least the author didn’t go into too great of detail. We can be thankful of that…”
“Yes, but… LiraelxEllimere? And… Oh gods. She has Ellie getting engaged to Nick at the end. Nick!” Rose shut Ross up before he started yelling and roused the interest of the Canons. The twins were so distracted by a horrified reading of the Words that they failed to note the time and location jump until it was too late.
Ross uncurled from around his bell where he was now lying on the floor of Lirael’s room, feeling physically ill both from the jump, and from watching what basically amounted to Ellimere raping Lirael.
“When can we kill it?” he demanded, looking very pained.
“Just a little more,” said his sister, soothingly, though equally disgusted.
A whirl of exposition later, Rose and Ross were again on the floor, staring up at aunt and niece, both naked, as Ellimere calmly explained that she was going to get engaged to Nick.
“Alright, that’s it,” muttered Ross, and uncurled himself completely. A quick look at their CAD to confirm his suspicion - OOC ratings in the high 70’s - and Ross stood up, bell in hand. “Well girls, look which one of us has the biggest bell,” he said, and hit both of them with it. The noise that it made was likely to bring the entire palace running, but that didn’t matter. Twenty pounds of bronze had been enough to knock out both Sub!Lirael and Dom!Ellimere. Finally setting the bell down, Ross duct-taped both women to the bed, and set about making a circle of candles.
When the two Canons came to, Ross had placed a copy of Abhorson on Ellimere’s chest, and, appropriately enough, he couldn’t help but think, a copy of Lirael on the chest of its titular character. He was waiting, bell at the ready, candles lit, and a saintly expression on his face.
When he was certain both Canons were awake, he began to ring his bell, the noise of the thing that had once hung from his grandfather’s yacht nearly deafening all within the chamber. “Avaunt, oh spirit of Bad Slash!” he cried, over the noise of clapper hitting bell. “Avaunt, incest! Avaunt dub-con! I banish thee, anachronistic speech! Get thee behind me, submissive Lirael! In the name of NIX, I compel thee A-FUCKING-VAUNT!”
As the author-wraith left the pair, she came out with promises of more “I’ll probably be doing LiraelxSabriel next…”
“And I’ll kill it if you do,” said Ross, pulling out his fountain-pen and making a pentagram in the air through the wraith, dissipating it quickly. “Now then,” he said, turning to the now thoroughly traumatized Canons, and pulling out the Neuralyzer. “Look this way, please, ladies!” he said, putting on his sunglasses and pressing the button.
[FLASH!]
Ross took off his sunglasses, gave the women a brilliant smile, and began un-taping them. “Princess Ellimere of Beslisaere, you have no interest whatsoever in having sexual relations with your aunt. Nor do you wish to dominate her. You are also not getting engaged to Nick Sayre. Abhorsen-in-waiting and Remeberancer Lirael, you are not a submissive mouse. Nor do you have any interest in your niece. The pair of you were just having a nice talk about… About sword-fighting. Fully clothed. Thank you. You can put on your clothing now.”
With that, Ross opened the portal, retrieved his bell, books, and candles, and stepped back into the RC with a sigh.
“Sword-fighting?” demanded his sister, a few minutes later, when both had calmed down.
“Well? Could you have done better if that was a nude Costis and Gen you were talking to? I was… distracted. I was doing my best!” Ross shook his head, and dropped his face into his hands. “That was rather painful. Not as bad as it could have been, but…” he sighed again, and gave the insistent Nemo a pet, before going and snagging their Rat, Uhpostrofee, out from behind the Console, and cuddling her to him. “I hate slash like that…”