(no subject)
I'm sorry.
If you want an explanation, the best I can give you is that I'm an over-sensitive, naive, and idiotic little girl who lost her best friend not long before I left. My dog died suddenly, and my emotions were sent off in a whirlwind. Couldn't focus on my studies or my family, let alone RP. I didn't want to leave, because I really was enjoying my stay at Discedo, but I couldn't keep it up anymore. I made the secret because I was feeling insecure and self-concious, and running on no sleep for a 27 hour period. By the time I remembered I'd posted the damn thing, I'd already dropped and the damage was done.
So, why didn't I come forward and set the record straight/apologize then? I was scared out of my mind. Yes, that's no excuse and I should have done something to fix it right then and there, but when I get scared, I run. It's something I've always done, and I'm still working to change it. But that doesn't matter; the damage has been done and I don't know if I can fix it, or if I even have the right to come back and try. But I do promise that I will try my hardest to not screw up again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that "I'm Sorry" doesn't feel like enough, but it's all I know how to say. I can't promise I won't drop again, but I can promise it won't be a rerun of the first time. Whether or not you accept this apology, I'm here to stay as long as I can. Whether that's for six weeks, six months, or six years, I do know one thing.
It's good to be back.