I know, I know, I'm being bad and posting having still not done my meme posts, but I do promise to eventually do them and quite procrastinating on my procrastinating
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Wow. Thank you for sharing all this. It takes guts in my opinion. I'm not sure if my two cents are welcome as I never hear from you anymore but just know that I am thinking of you. So much of what you wrote resonated with me and I'm sorry for your pain.
Your two cents are always welcome. The lack of communication has not been from any lack of desire to hear from you, but simply another unfortunate result of the stress coming from some people. When some relationships blow up, I tend to withdraw and isolate. It's not a good habit, but one that I'm stuck in, though I am endeavoring to try to break it. Perhaps the next time you are out this way we could properly make some time to get together and talk?
Well, it's short notice but I believe I'll be out there this weekend for Rocky and board game day at Worlds Apart.
Thanks for writing back to me. It means a lot. I've lost a lot of friends over the years due to my depression so I'm extra sensitive. But I also COMPLETELY understand what you mean about withdrawing because I do it all the time.
Erin, darling, you need help. I'm saying this in the best way possible because I really honestly care about you.
I've been in the exact same place you are, in fact, you're doing better than I was.
The advice I can offer is this:
1. Don't run away, as good as that sounds right now. If you run, you'll lose everything you have. The bottom is quite a lot further down than you think it is. (Trust me, I've been to that bottom.)
2. GET HELP. I can't say it any clearer. This is not something that should be happening. Go to a doctor and get some frelling meds. You might'n't (in fact, you probably won't) have to take the meds all of your life, but right now, all of this is crippling you. Since you cannot function, you have to find some way to function.
I'm on campus for the next couple days if you want to talk/yell at me.
I care, Erin. I just don't want to see you alienate people because you're hurting. I've done that too damned much.
Hugs for Fizzy. Real ones, too, shortly, once we're in class.
I'm so sorry. Sometimes I feel like I'm being used as an emotional crutch, and if I fuck that up, everything goes to hell. But the friendships and relationships that are real and healthy will get beyond that, and the people who love you will understand the effect this is having on you -- incidentally, one of the most awesome, talented, quirky, and altogether lovable friends I have ever had. Don't be afraid to reach out or seek help wherever you think it might be found. Love.
You will not lose all your friends, just the toxic ones. True friends do not abandon you because you do not do their bidding. You will always have me and many others.
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Thanks for writing back to me. It means a lot. I've lost a lot of friends over the years due to my depression so I'm extra sensitive. But I also COMPLETELY understand what you mean about withdrawing because I do it all the time.
Hugs.
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I've been in the exact same place you are, in fact, you're doing better than I was.
The advice I can offer is this:
1. Don't run away, as good as that sounds right now. If you run, you'll lose everything you have. The bottom is quite a lot further down than you think it is. (Trust me, I've been to that bottom.)
2. GET HELP. I can't say it any clearer. This is not something that should be happening. Go to a doctor and get some frelling meds. You might'n't (in fact, you probably won't) have to take the meds all of your life, but right now, all of this is crippling you. Since you cannot function, you have to find some way to function.
I'm on campus for the next couple days if you want to talk/yell at me.
I care, Erin. I just don't want to see you alienate people because you're hurting. I've done that too damned much.
Reply
I'm so sorry. Sometimes I feel like I'm being used as an emotional crutch, and if I fuck that up, everything goes to hell. But the friendships and relationships that are real and healthy will get beyond that, and the people who love you will understand the effect this is having on you -- incidentally, one of the most awesome, talented, quirky, and altogether lovable friends I have ever had. Don't be afraid to reach out or seek help wherever you think it might be found. Love.
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You will not lose all your friends, just the toxic ones. True friends do not abandon you because you do not do their bidding. You will always have me and many others.
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