I generally try not to post rants and vents (except against my immune system), but hey, I'm angry and this is a forum I can vent in, so I'm going to
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I have no delusions as to my own abilities as a communicator (as this sentence suggests!), but I think that we really do need to make that effort.
Ah, how they love to judge us by how we are percieved - I'm sure you delight as do I in taking those sterotypes and turning them about. Yes, if we don't try try to change the world, or at least our area in it, who will?
And you're right, people do need to make an effort and also not take words at face value (such as in letter, e-mails, texts, forums, etc), instead looking for deeper context and meaning.
And yes, I do delight in twisting and subverting sterotypes but more often then not, people are too dullwitted to even perceive what I have done. Oh, well. As long as a few know what I have done, then it's worth it. :)
Damned if you do... Damned if you don't...jaigynSeptember 7 2007, 18:17:42 UTC
Just to comment on your statement: "nd you're right, people do need to make an effort and also not take words at face value (such as in letter, e-mails, texts, forums, etc), instead looking for deeper context and meaning."
So how does one not fall into the trap of either reading far too much into so-called deeper context where there is none and taking something at face value when in fact there is a lot more behind it's meaning?
My answer is it falls down to your gut instinct, which is often based off your mental/emotional state at the time... which can just vary greatly for instance depending on whether you're having a great day or feel absolutely crap.
Misunderstanding are always gonna happen. Some people will be overly polite, some extremely neutral, while others still will over-react. Just the way it is. Gotta love being an individual!
As somebody who speaks in quotes, I have two things to add:
1) Be careful! If somebody doesn't know that you're quoting, or where from, it can add to the miscommunication.
2) What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can't reach, and then you get what we had here yesterday. That's the way he wants it--well, he gets it.
Also: People, it's not enough to listen to what the other person says. You have to listen to what you say as well. Some people just don't hear themselves, and subsequently can't hear the other speaker.
Real example from forum (exact wording changed to protect poor memory): Him: 'The reason cats get tortured in some countries is that they're seen as feminine and womanly, whereas dogs are macho and manly.' Me: 'In order for that statement to work, you have to assume that torture is masculine; that men commit torture more than women.' Him: 'No, I'm a guy, and I like cats better than dogs. And I know a woman who hates cats but loves dogs.'
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I have no delusions as to my own abilities as a communicator (as this sentence suggests!), but I think that we really do need to make that effort.
Ah, how they love to judge us by how we are percieved - I'm sure you delight as do I in taking those sterotypes and turning them about. Yes, if we don't try try to change the world, or at least our area in it, who will?
Thank you :)
Reply
And you're right, people do need to make an effort and also not take words at face value (such as in letter, e-mails, texts, forums, etc), instead looking for deeper context and meaning.
And yes, I do delight in twisting and subverting sterotypes but more often then not, people are too dullwitted to even perceive what I have done.
Oh, well.
As long as a few know what I have done, then it's worth it. :)
Reply
So how does one not fall into the trap of either reading far too much into so-called deeper context where there is none and taking something at face value when in fact there is a lot more behind it's meaning?
My answer is it falls down to your gut instinct, which is often based off your mental/emotional state at the time... which can just vary greatly for instance depending on whether you're having a great day or feel absolutely crap.
Misunderstanding are always gonna happen. Some people will be overly polite, some extremely neutral, while others still will over-react. Just the way it is. Gotta love being an individual!
Reply
1) Be careful! If somebody doesn't know that you're quoting, or where from, it can add to the miscommunication.
2) What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can't reach, and then you get what we had here yesterday. That's the way he wants it--well, he gets it.
Also:
People, it's not enough to listen to what the other person says. You have to listen to what you say as well. Some people just don't hear themselves, and subsequently can't hear the other speaker.
Real example from forum (exact wording changed to protect poor memory):
Him: 'The reason cats get tortured in some countries is that they're seen as feminine and womanly, whereas dogs are macho and manly.'
Me: 'In order for that statement to work, you have to assume that torture is masculine; that men commit torture more than women.'
Him: 'No, I'm a guy, and I like cats better than dogs. And I know a woman who hates cats but loves dogs.'
(I quit that forum.)
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