Title: Ruki and the Poodle Haired Revenge
Chapters: 1/1
Author: Daydreamer852
Genre: Total crackery, comedy
Warnings: Language
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Zippo
Disclaimer: I stuffed them in my closet. Wanna see?
Synopsis: There is an issue within the GazettE. Something that's making eyebrows raise and fans go "WTF?" It's probably worse than those infamous pink pants.
"I thought maybe something was wrong with you when you wore the pink pants but this...I think you've gone too far."
Comment: I refuse to explain myself. But to warn you, this will probably not make any sense...I haven't been sleeping well. ¬__¬
This was getting out of hand. Many things could easily be tolerated or a compromise could be settled. At other times they would raise an eyebrow but continue about their business. The pink pants was a total shock factor for sure. It was the talk of the month amongst staff, fans, and fellow members. Almost everyone thought he lost his damn mind and thankfully no one has seen those pants since then. Perhaps Ruki got the wonderful idea to burn that thing. One should cross their fingers and tell him to leave that with Miyavi.
Two clicks of a lighter and flame burst out to greet the end of a cigarette. The lid snap shut a moment later. Aoi, the eldest in the band, shoved the lighter back in his pants pocket before folding one arm over his stomach and propping the elbow of the other on top. He took his sweet time inhaling the death defying nicotine before blowing out a long stream of toxifying smoke, fogging up the air around him. He slumped further into the couch and watched a hair stylist in curiousity as she worked on Ruki's hair. He arced a brow and cocked his head to the side, taking another tug on the cancer stick. Today they were doing a new photoshoot- zy mega edition #6. True, each member had their own style and made their own costumes accordingly and whatever one did in their personal life was taken as such. But Ruki's costume...it got weirder everytime they released a new single or album. This time the vocalist was wearing a strange silver suit that could have been stolen off an astronaut or off the set of some sci-fi show from the 70's.
Uruha walked in, stopped short to glance at Ruki, and then headed for the nearest mirror. Aoi glanced over to Uruha and furrowed his brows. The man's outfit made him look like a perfume bottle or a bong rather. The elder sighed and shook his head, a few strands of his crimpled hair falling lazily in his face. It was arbitrary to voice his opinion. The deed had already been done, so to speak. Honestly, out of the five he calculated that himself, Kai, and Reita were the only ones who's attire was somewhat normal. A slight tapping noise was being echoed throughout the room-Ruki's thumbs flying over the tiny keypad of his keitai. It started to perturb the guitarist quite a bit. He already had a headache. Other than that, it was amazingly silent in this small room. Reita and Kai filed in some time later and took their seat in respective places. One thing they all prized was personal space. Aoi's eyelids had been closed by this time, his cigarette still secure between his lips. One would think he was sleeping, but in actuality he was just sitting there ....with his eyes closed. Kai reached over and plucked the cigarette away from the elder and propped it up in a nearby ashtray. Aoi perked up, as his doe hues began scanning the room once more. He muttered something and reached for his cigarette once more, flicking the ashes off, and taking a rather nonchalant puff.
Reita leaned back as far as he could in his seat to check out Ruki's hair. He cocked his head to the side as Aoi had done and furrowed his brows. He shifted his gaze to the others who were obviously not paying attention, so he decided to break the silence. "What's with the hair?" He inquired, making both Kai and Uruha jump in their place. They weren't expecting such a sudden break of tranquility.
The tapping of keys died off and Ruki looked up at the bassist through the mirror, "Who's hair?"
"Yours."
"Why my hair?"
"Because-"
"How is that an answer?"
"It isn't. But I'm still asking."
Kai had smirked slightly at this point, watching with much amusement the conversation that ensued between the two. Uruha had finally finished his primping in the mirror and crashed on the couch next to Aoi. "It does look rather strange."
Ruki's gaze shifted to Aoi's reflection. Aoi sat up, feeling the stare, stabbed out his cigarette and shrugged, "I wasn't going to say anything."
"It's not bad-" Quipped Kai.
"Thank you...at least someone agrees."
"...It's not bad," the drummer repeated, "But it still looks weird."
Ruki snorted, "To each his own."
"But it's...curly," Reita countered. "People don't really do curly anymore. Not since the advent of flat irons."
"Can I add something?-" Uruha suddenly spoke.
"No." Interposed the vocalist.
"-You look like poodle."
Kai bit his bottom lip but it didn't prevent him from giggling at Uruha's observation. A smirk grew across on Aoi's features. "I think you need to say farewell to your chardonay."
The stylist had diligently finished curling the rest of his hair, before moving off to the side to put her things away. Ruki snapped the lid to his keitai shut and whirled around in his chair to face the others. "A...poodle?..Seriously."
Uruha's eyes darted around nervously as he nodded slightly, "Yep. A poodle...I mean...I hope it doesn't get wet or anything."
"Are you guys thinking the same thing? Is there some wavelength I'm not on right now?"
"I thought maybe something was wrong with you when you wore the pink pants but this...I think you've gone too far." Aoi voiced.
Ruki's eye twitched at the mention of the infamous pink pants. It would never stop haunting him, would it? He just sighed and tossed the mobile onto the vanity behind him. "Right, well. I look like a poodle and you like ...a strange bottle" -he pointed to Uruha and then pointed at Aoi- "And you look like a pug. Reita, Kai, you two look fine." Ruki straightened his jacket matter-of-factly and walked out of the room phrases such as "Lay of my style" and "Leave my hair the fuck alone" echoing down the hall.
_A few months later_
"Ah, look at that, it's raining."
"Drizzling! It is drizzling." A rather annoyed, short male countered.
"Tsk. I think your hair's gonna get wet."
"My hair is fine."
"But it's an open air stage-"
"My hair will survive!"
"You guys go out in five minutes!" A staff member yelled.
Aoi fiddled around with his guitar some more, randomly plucking the steel strings, swearing something was up while Kai slapped at his knees and tapped his feet to the rhythm in his head. Uruha enjoyed a smoke with Reita as Ruki made some last minute adjustments to his costume. "And what about your hair?"
"What about it?" Aoi questioned, handing his guitar over to a staff member to be placed on stage.
"What happens if it gets wet. We're talking some serious slappage."
"At least I don't look like Shirley Temple."
Kai's giggling cut through the air and enticed Reita and Uruha to do the same. Ruki flailed his arms about dramatically, making such an amusing commotion for such a small guy. "It is not that curly, damnit!"
"Two minutes." Echoed the voice of a staff member.
"Well, don't feel so bad about it. If it does get wet, it'll be straight. Just remember that you and curls do not agree."
"Fuck off temptation island, I'll do what I please. You don't see me harrassing your style..."
"Won't stop me from harrassing yours."
"Okay, children." Kai interjected, hopping out of the chair he had occupied. He stretched and draped his arms across Aoi and Ruki's shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. "Let us have a good live. You know I don't like it when people fight."
"They're not fighting, "Uruha replied, draping his arm around Ruki's other shoulder. "They're nit-picking."
Reita finished the circle that was forming by draping his arms across Uruha's shoulder and Aoi's shoulder. "You two should get married."
"Are you kidding me? After that little make out session Aoi had with Uruha? It's those two who should be getting married."
"I did not make out with him! I just wanted to hug him. He is the one who started it."
"I am standing right here and you fucking enjoyed it." Uruha grinned in mischievous triumph.
Aoi blushed furiously, "I did not!"
"Oh, you guys were doing it for about four seconds." Reita quipped, trying real hard not to go into a giggling fit. Aoi might not come onto his radio show the next time he invited him.
"I was stunned!" The elder protested.
"You guys are up!" A staff member yelled, scurrying past their little circle.
"Okay, okay, you two love birds can talk about it later but now we have to get on with the show." Kai chirped.
_After the live_
Aoi giggled insanely, taking off his damp overshirt and laying it across a chair, "I told you your hair would get wet. Now look at you. You're a wet dog."
"Wet poodle. "Uruha corrected, furiously rubbing at his hair with a towel.
"Wet Shirley Temple." Reita interposed.
"AHHH! Knock it off! I won't do curly anymore. Jeez!" Ruki flung himself onto a couch and thrust his head in between two pillows. "You guys are mean." His muffled voice was barely audible between the pillows.
Reita walked by and slapped the vocalist's back, "Only for your good." He plopped down on a rolling chair and purposely rolled halfway across the room to come up behind Kai and playfully pinch his ass before rolling away. Kai yelped and whirled around to stare at Reita who was currently grinning like a cheshire cat. "Not cool."
"Maybe not for you, but I thought it was awesome."
Ruki's head popped out from between the substitute boobs, his wet hair matted to the multiple angles of his face. He brushed a hand through it and glared at Reita. "Y'know...you're the one who started this whole thing. I'm beginning to think you're a sadist."
"Oh?" Reita crossed his arms across his chest defiantly and eyed the other, awaiting an explanation.
"Yes." Came the firm, obstinate confirmation. "You are always messing with people."
"Your point?"
Ruki sat up and hugged a pillow protectively, trying to think up a good explanation. He pretty much failed at that and reluctantly spoke up, "I don't-"
"-You're a sadist. For some reason it's like there's some rather weird pheromones wafting around here compelling you to fuck with people. Poor Kai most of all." Aoi interrupted, sensing that Ruki's comeback would be rather paltry.
"It's called relieving tension. It makes my muscles sore."
"It's called being annoying." Uruha corrected, smacking Reita on the back of his head with a towel.
Ruki's eyes narrowed as he thoughtfully chewed on his bottom lip. "I think we need to exact revenge."
Aoi raised a brow in roused curiousity. He smirked in Uruha's direction who was now hovering rather closely to a worried looking Reita. Kai purposely cracked his knuckles and stepped closer to the bassist. "Yeahhh. Revenge."
Reita rolled further away from the four, chuckling nervously, "Ah, come on guys. You shouldn't take me so seriously. I'm a natural prankster."
Uruha quickly jumped in Reita's path and roughly grabbed him by the collar of his vest, pulling him over to the couch. Ruki rose from his position and handed a pillow to Aoi, who ravenously accepted it. Reita struggled around but it was useless, the taller blonde was much stronger. He threw the poor bassist on the couch and grabbed his own pillow. Aoi immediately socked Reita across the stomach while Kai hopped on Reita and began mercilessly tickling him. Uruha also started smacking Reita with his pillow while Ruki started his tickling session. Reita screamed out and struggled against the four, trying to break free from the attack. A staff member peered into the room to see what the screaming was all about. Ruki glanced up and smiled innocently. "We're teaching Reita a valuable lesson about the consequences of sadicism and what a dangerous path it could lead him down."
The vocalist snatched Aoi's pillow away and began to smother Reita. There were some rather weird noises coming from the bassist. Screams, laughs, snorts, protests of every kind, including some swearing. The staff member stared wide eyed for a moment before silently leaving the four to continue their torture.
After about five minutes of this, they finally let off and allowed Reita to run out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him, coughing and wheezing along the way.
Ruki cackled after him and tossed the pillow back onto the couch. "I'd like to see him mess with us again. No one calls me poodle and get's away with it."
"Actually...it was me who called you a poodle." Uruha replied, later regretting what he said because now Ruki was grinning at him mischievously for some reason. The guitarist suddenly felt rather compelled to run like the wind and he did so, the vocalist following closely at his heels. "You wanna fuck with poodle hair-san?!" Echoed Ruki's voice.
"Wow. I hope I never piss Ruki off." Kai suddenly spoke, mostly to himself.
"Are you kidding? Reita will never piss us off. If he's that smart he'll realize that doing that would be even worse for his health." Aoi replied, fixing his wild hair.
"AHHHHHHH!"
Both Kai and Aoi's eyes widened at the sudden scream of agony. They shot each other a look and ran out of the room, knowing good and well that it was Uruha screaming. They skid to a stop at the small make shift cafetria. A pie splattered Uruha was hiding behind a table, his hands up defensively, swearing that 'poodle' was a term of endearment to Ruki who was holding up another pie. "Like hell it is." The vocalist threw the pie at the guitarist who quickly ducked and ran around the table. He ran past Aoi and Kai and continued down the hall until he ran in to a vacant room and slammed the door shut. Ruki, who was in hot pursuit, beat upon the door, rattling the door knob, trying to get it open. But that failed. He huffed and gave the door one last blow before looking over to a rather amused guitarist and drummer. But their amusement quickly disappeared as they saw a short vocalist barreling towards them. Aoi yelped and ran in the opposite direction, Kai following close behind and actually pushing the other to go faster. Most of the staff members were appropriately surprised by the entire scene as they saw nothing but a bunch of frantic blurs run past them.
"Ruki's on a revenge streak." One staff simply stated before going back to his work.
"WHO WANTS TO CALL ME POODLE?!" Ruki yelled, his booming voice reaching the stage area.
So remember boys and girls. Ruki may look like a poodle. But he acts like a bull.
The END.
A/N: I have lost my mind. Can someone help me find it?