(no subject)

[days_like_this]

I didn't want to make a mistake with the friends list, and it's probably way too silly to be so concerned about it, but please just click the button and let me know, one way or the other.
Poll
Anyway. . .

I'm going to tell you a secret. I never have anyone to tell secrets - or much of anything to, really - so don't trash this around, will you? No, you won't. I trust you.

I think I'm waiting until I don't exist anymore. Thinking about school, the Air Force, after college, a career. . . I don't think I'm ever going to do any of it. I can't bring myself to believe that I will ever actually live in the world. And it hit me: I don't want to live in the world. But I don't really want to die. I sort of thought about suicide and decided I don't want the world after this one either (and I do believe in a world after this one).

I'm starting to think that maybe the world or I, one of us doesn't really exist. With my luck, it would turn out to be the world.

Maybe I'm driving myself insane. Or maybe everyone thinks these things sometimes and no one ever talks about it. Either way, feel free to stick me in a mental institution. It might give me a chance to sort things out. That would be good.

I want to be a ghost, and just live in between the air, watching all the little things no one else sees. That would be good, too.

. . .

I'm hungry.