How to get (and stay) on my Shit List.
It's supposed to be Drama Free Thursday (just ask popfiend), but I had to get this out and gone before he formally declares it.
So, how does one go about getting and staying on Dayton's Eternal Shit List? Four easy steps:
What happened?
A lady at the convenience store where I sometimes stop for something to drink on the way to work started throwing a tantrum at the clerk. Apparently, the pump she was using to fill up stopped working mid-transaction, and naturally that called for some clerk ass-chewing...while she was on the phone yammering with some other moron, and while holding up the line, which included me with my 32 oz. cup of iced tea. (There was another clerk, who was doing his best to keep the line moving all while pitching in to help his partner).
The poor clerk, a high-school girl or perhaps someone home from college for the summer, was trying to resolve the issue by calling her manager and setting things up so that the lady could move her vehicle to another pump. So far as I know the pumps are pre-pay, so I would've thought the lady should've just been able to move to another pump and start again. The girl was doing her best with a crappy situation, all while this diva bitch is screaming at her. To the girl's credit, she held it together, but you could see the strain in her face as she worked to fix the problem.
So, being me, I observed out loud that things might go a bit more smoothly if -- perhaps -- the lady allowed the clerk to do whatever she needed to do without getting yelled at. This, of course, set her sights on me. She asked me who the fuck I was, and that I should shut the fuck up, and so on and so forth.
Three guesses to those who know me: How'd this go over?
I replied that I was just another customer who was being held up by the current situation. I then informed her (in fewer, harsher words) that unless she was paying me, putting me through college or fucking me, she should save her tirades for those forced to endure her bullshit due to being married or born to her.
I wish I'd been smart enough to take a picture of her with my phone camera. The look on her face was priceless, and she didn't say anything for almost ten seconds, which was an added bonus.
After she stammered and stuttered and stormed out of the store, I actually got applause from other patrons, a heartfelt thank you from the clerks, and my drink free of charge.
I actually hadn't cut loose on anyone like that in a long while, and I know I probably shouldn't do it at all, but I must admit it felt pretty good.
Besides, I hate people who think they can piss on store clerks, restaurant servers, and others who can't defend themselves because they know they'll get fired for telling some deserving prick where to go pound sand.
So, that was how my Thursday started. How's yours?
So, how does one go about getting and staying on Dayton's Eternal Shit List? Four easy steps:
- Be a rude or self-absorbed asshole who goes through life without the basic understanding that there are other people around you, and the chances of you being more important than all of them -- even if only in your own mind -- are pretty damned small.
- Treat other people like your personal servants, or just obstacles to be swept aside as you pursue whatever objective seems important to you, but probably doesn't matter to most everyone else around you.
- Get indignant when called on your behavior.
- Not have the sense to shut your mouth before it gets you into trouble.
What happened?
A lady at the convenience store where I sometimes stop for something to drink on the way to work started throwing a tantrum at the clerk. Apparently, the pump she was using to fill up stopped working mid-transaction, and naturally that called for some clerk ass-chewing...while she was on the phone yammering with some other moron, and while holding up the line, which included me with my 32 oz. cup of iced tea. (There was another clerk, who was doing his best to keep the line moving all while pitching in to help his partner).
The poor clerk, a high-school girl or perhaps someone home from college for the summer, was trying to resolve the issue by calling her manager and setting things up so that the lady could move her vehicle to another pump. So far as I know the pumps are pre-pay, so I would've thought the lady should've just been able to move to another pump and start again. The girl was doing her best with a crappy situation, all while this diva bitch is screaming at her. To the girl's credit, she held it together, but you could see the strain in her face as she worked to fix the problem.
So, being me, I observed out loud that things might go a bit more smoothly if -- perhaps -- the lady allowed the clerk to do whatever she needed to do without getting yelled at. This, of course, set her sights on me. She asked me who the fuck I was, and that I should shut the fuck up, and so on and so forth.
Three guesses to those who know me: How'd this go over?
I replied that I was just another customer who was being held up by the current situation. I then informed her (in fewer, harsher words) that unless she was paying me, putting me through college or fucking me, she should save her tirades for those forced to endure her bullshit due to being married or born to her.
I wish I'd been smart enough to take a picture of her with my phone camera. The look on her face was priceless, and she didn't say anything for almost ten seconds, which was an added bonus.
After she stammered and stuttered and stormed out of the store, I actually got applause from other patrons, a heartfelt thank you from the clerks, and my drink free of charge.
I actually hadn't cut loose on anyone like that in a long while, and I know I probably shouldn't do it at all, but I must admit it felt pretty good.
Besides, I hate people who think they can piss on store clerks, restaurant servers, and others who can't defend themselves because they know they'll get fired for telling some deserving prick where to go pound sand.
So, that was how my Thursday started. How's yours?