A Play, in One Act.
Two Years Ago:
Jenn: Ow.
Wisdom Teeth: Oh, hi. Just making our way into the world. 'Sup.
Jenn: You kind of hurt.
Wisdom Teeth: Sorry we are late, but we like to make an entrance.
One Year Ago:
Jenn: You know what? You guys don't really hurt anymore.
Wisdom Teeth: We've fully erupted. Let's be BFF.
Jenn: ....I don't think so.
A few months ago:
Dr. Princell: Really, your mouth is too small for these. I'd recommend we take them out. With your current insurance, it will cost $2398423423987 dollars.
Jenn: Let's wait.
This Week:
Wisdom Tooth: Hey, betch.
Jenn: Wha?
Wisdom Tooth: I'm going to light your gum on fire.
Jenn: Wait, what? Why?
Wisdom Tooth: Because you are two months away from having your oral surgery covered by your insurance.
Jenn: You're a mother fucker.
Wisdom Tooth: Damn skippy.
Jenn: I'm just going to take copious amounts of tylenol, then.
Wisdom Tooth: HA! Yeah, okay.
Jenn: Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay. I'm going to sleep face down on this ice pack.
Wisdom Tooth: Denial is more than a river in Egypt.
Jenn: I hate that joke.
Wisdom Tooth: I know. It's stupid. Hey, have you taken a look at your face? Getting a little puffy on one side, aren't we?
Jenn: NO! Not my precious, precious FACE!
Today:
Dr. Princell: The tissue surrounding your tooth is definitely infected. I can numb you up, give you some nitrous oxide, and we can extract it right now. Or I can give you some anti-biotics, but the problem will probably just come back.
Jenn: Let's see, tooth extraction, or go back to work and do Steak N Shake billing. That's a toss up, really. Let's see how long I can wait before my insurance kicks in. But can I get some nitrous to go?
Dr. Princell: No.
Jenn: Can you just give me one hit before I leave?
Dr. Princell: You have a problem.
Right now:
Jenn: These drugs are gonna shut you up in two day's time, wisdom tooth.
Wisdom Tooth: Yeah, but first I have to ask you why you bought that italian sub from Marsh.
Jenn: Because that's my lun-- ARGH, I CAN'T OPEN MY MOUTH!
Wisdom Tooth: Suckah!
THE END.
Jenn: Ow.
Wisdom Teeth: Oh, hi. Just making our way into the world. 'Sup.
Jenn: You kind of hurt.
Wisdom Teeth: Sorry we are late, but we like to make an entrance.
One Year Ago:
Jenn: You know what? You guys don't really hurt anymore.
Wisdom Teeth: We've fully erupted. Let's be BFF.
Jenn: ....I don't think so.
A few months ago:
Dr. Princell: Really, your mouth is too small for these. I'd recommend we take them out. With your current insurance, it will cost $2398423423987 dollars.
Jenn: Let's wait.
This Week:
Wisdom Tooth: Hey, betch.
Jenn: Wha?
Wisdom Tooth: I'm going to light your gum on fire.
Jenn: Wait, what? Why?
Wisdom Tooth: Because you are two months away from having your oral surgery covered by your insurance.
Jenn: You're a mother fucker.
Wisdom Tooth: Damn skippy.
Jenn: I'm just going to take copious amounts of tylenol, then.
Wisdom Tooth: HA! Yeah, okay.
Jenn: Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay. I'm going to sleep face down on this ice pack.
Wisdom Tooth: Denial is more than a river in Egypt.
Jenn: I hate that joke.
Wisdom Tooth: I know. It's stupid. Hey, have you taken a look at your face? Getting a little puffy on one side, aren't we?
Jenn: NO! Not my precious, precious FACE!
Today:
Dr. Princell: The tissue surrounding your tooth is definitely infected. I can numb you up, give you some nitrous oxide, and we can extract it right now. Or I can give you some anti-biotics, but the problem will probably just come back.
Jenn: Let's see, tooth extraction, or go back to work and do Steak N Shake billing. That's a toss up, really. Let's see how long I can wait before my insurance kicks in. But can I get some nitrous to go?
Dr. Princell: No.
Jenn: Can you just give me one hit before I leave?
Dr. Princell: You have a problem.
Right now:
Jenn: These drugs are gonna shut you up in two day's time, wisdom tooth.
Wisdom Tooth: Yeah, but first I have to ask you why you bought that italian sub from Marsh.
Jenn: Because that's my lun-- ARGH, I CAN'T OPEN MY MOUTH!
Wisdom Tooth: Suckah!
THE END.