On Thursday ... [fic with meet_thunder]
Follows this.
#2 of 5
Dinner was in the oven. James had cuddled up on his bed with his favorite stuffed rabbit and finally passed out, Daniel doing his homework. Heather moved through the quiet house, cataloging belongings. In these quiet times she took advantage of the time to put some clothing into suitcases, slipping photograph albums into easily grabable bags, and shuffling favorite books toward the front bookshelves. Charles didn’t notice and only now she’d stared to realize how most of the decorations in the house were his anyway. Somehow in fifteen years, her life had become small enough to fit into her office and one shelf in the kitchen. She didn’t want his trophies or his collection of glass planes or the endless books on things she didn’t care about but that he insisted on sharing with her. At the bottom of the stairs she paused and glanced up again, worried again for Daniel and James. For the first few years of her marriage she’d stayed because she didn’t know any better. Now she stayed because of her children. Leaving was going to hurt them, but she could not stay in the house one day longer. Not after making the decision that what she really wanted was control over her life, a return to photography, and a man with blue eyes and silver hair who wanted a partner and not a trophy to hang on his wall.
Quietly, she slid the carryon she’d loaded with freshly washed clothes for the boys into the closet by the garage. It was the one closet where most of her things were hidden - including a suitcase of clothes she tended to wear just for Jethro. It amazed her how even her style of dress was freer when she was with him. While dinner cooked and she waited for Charles to come home, she made her way into her office where two boxes were already full of photographs and equipment for the business. She’d been packing for a week and even brought a few items to Leroy’s place in Oceanside on Wednesday. And not surprisingly, because it was nothing that Charles cared about, he hadn’t noticed a thing.
She glanced at the clock and closed her office door, giving herself some time. They knew not to bother her without knocking. Heather took a box of photographs out of her desk and removed the pictures, setting the box aside. The photographs fit perfectly into the side pocket of her purse. Glancing over her shoulder at her office door, she opened her laptop and clicked open her email. Leroy was working twenty hour days this week and their lives were text messages and emails right now. She didn’t like the case he’d been assigned but they both knew he couldn’t fight it. All she asked for was some daily contact, and he had responded with short and sweet messages and one rambling love letter that had set her crying. They hadn’t seen each other in four years and he still knew her better than she knew herself.
An email waited for her.
Heaths,
I’m on a break, wondering if your sister really did have it in for me when she assigned me this job. Restructuring the MCRT is so much more than even I realized. This case specifically is far above the heads of my agents, but my requests for replacements have gone ignored.
Saw your stuff in the house. I wish I could have been there that afternoon. I put the stuff for the boys in the bigger room, which I assumed would go to Daniel. I also ordered a bed for him and it’s set up. I promise I’ll make him one by hand as soon as I’m done with the loft one for James. I don’t want him to ever feel unwanted; he’s such a great little boy. But he’s going to need a place to sleep.
I’ll see you this weekend.
I love you more than anything.
Forever,
Leroy
She sighed and shook her head. The man was meant to be a husband and a father; he just needed the right woman in his life. She was lucky enough to be that woman. A quick check of the clock and she hit reply and started to type.
Babe,
The house is wonderful, but you know I think that. And thank you for getting the bed set up for Daniel. You’re right, he’s going to be the most hurt in this. I think that James already sees you as a father, even if he doesn’t understand why. Daniel worships his father and it is not going to be an easy road with him. Anything to help with the transition will help. So thank you.
I miss your face and I need to see you. I wish you weren’t working like you are.
Outside, a car door slammed shut and she jumped. But her office door was closed. Charles would leave her alone. She turned her attention back to the email.
But I understand why you are and what you’re doing. I just can’t wait to see you this weekend. I want to bring James with me and give you two time together, but I’m not sure it will happen. There’s just so many things to navigate. I’ve been packing more things, though and I will bring them with me.
When her office door slammed open, Heather jumped to her feet and spun around, protecting her privacy. "Charles?" She checked the clock again. No, dinner wasn’t ready.
"What the hell is going on, Heather?"
Heather froze. The last time she saw that look on Charles’ face, he’d thrown her so hard across the room she’d cracked her head on the corner at the wall and the bruises on her arms had taken two weeks to fade. She watched his eyes scan the office, taking in the boxes and packed supplies, and swallowed. She’d hoped this would be done peacefully.
"I’m leaving." Somehow she found her voice. Her fingers clutched the desk, giving her something to lean on to. She’d ask how he found out, but something told her that Nosy Neighbor Nancy had everything to do with it. She and Charles liked each other and she was sure the older woman had been all too happy to ask about that new "uncle" the boys seemed to have. Had he recently married into the family? And why was he around only when Charles wasn’t? Oh, he’d been there at Halloween too. Yes, she knew she could blame Nancy for exposing her secret, but it didn’t change reality.
He’d only hit her once before, but she knew that expression on his face - it matched his father so perfectly - so she squared her shoulders and waited for what she knew was coming. It came harder than she expected. He backhanded her across the face with so much force she felt his watchband cut into the soft flesh near her eye. Stumbling to the side, she held onto the desk for balance, which proved to be a mistake because she didn’t have the chance to squirm out of the way as he hit her again. She felt her shoulder tweak in the socket as her fingers released the desk and she stumbled back. He grabbed her arm and hauled her so close she could smell the anger on his breath. "Who the hell is he, Heather?" Her husband towered over her and she gasped for breath, trying to regain her ground. Before she could find her voice, he’d opened her laptop and was scanning the email she’d been writing. "Gibbs?!"
His voice was suddenly very far away as Heather watched drop of blood fell onto the top of her hand. Her eyes focused on it rather than the email. "The same Gibbs your sister chased after in Paris?" It didn’t matter if she answered or not. He had the answer he wanted and she’d never been so glad that she kept all of her important materials on already packed external drives when he picked up the laptop in one hand and threw it against the wall so hard it shattered. As the laptop fell to pieces, Charles threw her across the room. Her head and shoulder hit the rows of thin glass shelves so hard they wobbled in their settings and the top one shattered. She screamed and ducked, covering her eyes with her arms, feeling glass rain down around her.
"Charles! Stop!" She screamed even as he grabbed her again. She slipped on one of the bigger pieces of glass and fell back against the shelf settings. This time she felt a snap in her torso as pain suddenly washed over her. She couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. Charles took advantage of her disorientation to grab her by the wrist it bend unnaturally as she tried to wiggle away. Blood choked her throat from her nose and she couldn’t breathe. Somehow she found the ability to suck in air and pushed at him. "Charles! Stop!" He released her and she fell again, feeling another shelf break around her, but this time she kept her footing.
"How long has it been going on? How long have you been making a fool of me?" Inches from her, he stopped, one hand on either side of her, balancing against the last remaining glass shelf. He was too close for her to push away, but at least with his hands on the shelf and not her, he wouldn’t hit her and Heather knew he preferred to have her trapped rather than beaten.
"Since before the wedding." She responded softly, but with a strength in her voice she knew he wasn’t used to hearing. It was strength she wasn’t used to voicing.
Anger overtook him she knew he was nothing but blind, humiliated rage as threw her to the ground. His fingers tangled in her hair and forced her head up to look at him. Her fingers were within inches of his boot and she curled them in defensively. She couldn’t work if her fingers were crushed.
"Mommy?"
Daniels’ voice made Charles freeze. Heather took advantage of the moment and shoved away, glancing at the office door, thanking whatever god was out there that somehow when Charles had slammed through, it had shut itself again. The break in his anger changed everything.
"I’m okay, baby," she managed to choke out, so glad he knew not to come in if the door was closed. "Go upstairs and wash up for dinner okay? See if your brother is awake." The interruption let her pull herself to her feet but pain sliced through her whole body and she saw white before she managed to catch her breath.
After they heard Daniel’s feet on the stairs, Heather stared at her husband again. She was silent for a long moment before she brushed her hair out of her face and wiped the blood out of her eyes. Staring at him through tears, she backed away from him to huddle against the wall. "Since before the wedding, Charles." She repeated. "We met a couple of months before you and I got married. It started then."
Charles reeled back, shocked, staring at her. "What?"
Heather took a painful breath, her legs shaking, seeking a courage she wasn’t sure she had. "Yes. Since the beginning." And the truth came out. "We got back together a couple of months ago; we’d stopped seeing each other when I got pregnant with James."
"James?" He was advancing again and she had no where to go.
"He’s Leroy’s, Charles." Somehow, she didn’t see the back handed smack that landed right on the cut she was still bleeding from. The instant it happened, she turned and grabbed his hand, knocking it down. He grabbed and bent her already swollen wrist, turning her and pinning her against the wall. She felt her wrist bend but couldn’t separate the pain in her arm from the pain in the rest of her body. "Let go of me, Charles!" She screamed, pushing back, futilely, against her husband’s weight. For a brief second she was terrified he’d rape her in this position, but violence was not a turn on for him. He wasn’t even rough in bed. Even if he reached that point, something would stop him if only the reality that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her now that he knew she’d been sleeping with Leroy. "Touch me again and I’ll make it so you never see the boys again. I’m not your mother, Charles. I’m not going to put up with this!" She couldn’t breathe in the position he had her in.
"You’re the one who has been cheating on me."
"I acknowledge that." She tried to get free but he held her tighter and pressed her harder into the wall, bending her wrist even more. "That doesn’t give you any right to hit me, Charles." She needed to get free but he wasn’t letting her go. "You have a choice right now, Charles. You can beat the crap out of me and not only never see your kids again, but get arrested in front of the neighborhood or you can take a step back and we can talk."
He hissed in her ear. "Kid. James isn’t mine."
"He still loves you!"
"He’s young enough to forget me." Charles was still hissing. "How dare you do this to me."
"Because I didn’t know how to say no!" She took a scared, nervous breath but refused to lose her nerve despite the pain. "Because everyone said we were perfect for each other and I wanted to believe it." She couldn’t breathe around the blood in her throat but she had to keep talking. The more she talked, the less he’d hit her. "Because every single time you corrected me in public or you talked politics and military stuff around me like I was some flighty girl, I closed in on myself. I actually believed I deserved to be ignored. I believed it, Charles."
"I’ve never ignored you." He was still hissing, but the pressure on her was less.
"Yes! You have! With every breath, Charles, you ignore me. You make me believe I’m not worth your time! I’m good for getting the dinner on the table and to keep you warm in bed, but I’m not worth you, Charles. I never have been!" Suddenly he pushed off of her and she gripped the nearest sturdy surface - the shelf mount on the wall.
"What, and Gibbs doesn’t ignore you?"
Somehow, on her wobbly legs, she turned around. Something in his words stuck with her - it was like he expected that she be ignored. "When we are in the same room, I’m all that matters. He listens, Charles."
"He’s willingly sleeping with a married woman."
"We’ve been in love with each other for years. This isn’t some quick fling."
"So while you were saying I Do to me you were what? Waiting until the reception so you could fuck him in the broom closet?"
Only the pain in her body kept her from slapping him. "Don’t go there." Suddenly, she needed to run. But she couldn’t abandon the office. This was her space, her upper ground. The minute she walked out into the rest of the house, it became his home again and she just wasn’t sure she could keep her strength of courage. She also wasn’t sure how she was going to get her keys or the boys because there was no way she was staying in Lompoc tonight. If she could get her legs under her, she could get out. "I was going to leave you anyway, Charles." She repeated from before.
"What, and like in some fucking romantic comedy, the man of your dreams gave you the strength to do it?" His voice was still low and he was still poised to strike, but at least he wasn’t throwing her around the room anymore.
"Not the strength but the shove. I’ve been ready to leave for a while. I just didn’t know how." She took a painful breath. He was still angry, but at least they were talking instead of him hitting her.
"For how long?"
"Since James." She crossed her arms, somehow. Everything hurt. "I didn’t want to come to California."
"So why did you?"
"Because I didn’t know what else to do. I’m a military wife, Charles. I go where I’m supposed to go. I do what I’m told. So I came." The part of her that did give a damn about him felt bad. He wasn’t a bad man and he loved his children. But all of her pent up anger was spilling free and she couldn’t stop it. Every time he’d corrected her in front of his friends, every Christmas mistake, every damned time the turkey had been a bit dry at Thanksgiving, every time they’d all looked the other way when his father did something unspeakable to his mother.
She refused to disappear anymore into the woodwork. She refused to let her sons see her become a shadow of a mother, overwhelmed by their father. Standing across the room from her husband, a man who had sworn up and down that he wouldn’t turn into his father, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d always been like him and to keep him from hitting her, she’d been willing to placate him, to make him feel that he was better because he wasn’t frightening. But she’d been frightened. Terrified. But right now wasn’t about terror. She’d fed the beast as much as he’d been afraid of it and now she was taking the toys away from the spoiled little boy.
"And what does Jenny think of all this?"
"Don’t use my sister against me." She’d lost Jenny when she chose Leroy. She knew that. But what amazed her was that even in all of it, she was willing to still lose her. At first, she’d hoped that if she backed off, if she gave him up, Jenny would somehow get better and they could work it all out. But now she knew that it didn’t matter how she and Jethro showed up at the funeral, the whispers and the stares would still follow them. She’d been willing to risk them before. She had to be willing to risk them now.
They stared at each other and she was again contemplating how long it would take to get the boys out of their rooms and into the car. It was a long drive to Oceanside, but once she was out of the house, she was safe - if she could make the drive. Her body ached and her eye was swelling shut. She could get to Leroy’s and in the morning, they’d figure out her next move. But she had to get out the door that Charles was blocking. Any move and she knew she’d end up thrown against the wall again and she couldn’t very well drive if her back was broken. Fifteen years of marriage told her to just apologize and wait it out the forgiveness. But she was tired of slinking around and she wasn’t going to act like she’d forgotten to do the dishes. This was her happiness and the well being of her sons she was defending.
"Does Jenny even know?" He was spitting.
"She does. She found out somehow. A rumor was started back in DC we think and it couldn’t be denied. She also knows about James."
"So I’m the idiot who is the last to know."
She swallowed nervously, feeling bad for just a second. Even her mother had her suspicions, after all. As much as she wanted out, he still had his pride and she’d pretty much ripped that to shreds, especially with her weekends with Jethro this time around. "I’m sorry, Charles." Apologizing would get her out the door, and she actually did mean it.
"Are you sorry that I found out or are you sorry for cheating on me?" He was hissing again.
"I’m sorry I hurt you." She took a nervous breath. "I’m sorry I even went through with the wedding because I was already in love with someone else. He loves me. I love him."
"How did you meet?"
"It’s not important."
"How. Did. You. Meet?" He advanced. She shrank back but kept her shoulders steady.
"In a bar. He came in looking to pick someone up and he found me. We went back to his place and stayed up and talked and I just couldn’t get him out of my system. I kept going back." He raised his hand again. She flinched, visibly. Slowly, the hand went down. "I kept going back," she said again, "because I liked the way he listened to me."
"Why didn’t you say anything?" Again she flinched, but this time at the pain in his voice. He'd thought they were perfect together. He'd had no idea she wasn't happy.
"Because I wanted our fairy tale to work. It wasn’t until after that I realized the fairy tale wasn’t what I expected." They stared at each other, hurt pouring from him, nerves making her vibrate.
"And you think you’ve got a fairy tale with some guy you’ve been screwing on and off for fifteen years?"
"I think," she said with a sigh, "that I realized there is no such thing as a fairy tale. Jethro and I are good together."
"Why now, Heather?"
"Because it was time, Charles. If I wait any longer, I’ll stop mattering."
The stared at each other for a long time until something broke. Suddenly, surprising her, he turned and stormed out. Heather waited, frozen like a rabbit, until she heard the front door slam before she snatched her car keys off her desk, grabbed her purse and the bag with some of her most important office supplies, and raced into the kitchen to turn off the stove before things caught on fire and the house burned down. "Daniel!" She screamed, hearing herself around the blood in her throat. God she must look a mess. "Daniel, get your brother!" When she didn’t hear movement, she left her bags at the bottom of the stairs and took them two at a time, ignoring the pain in her ribs and wrist so she could get her kids. Daniel stood in the doorway to James’ room, his eyes wide and scared.
"Mom?" He was staring at her face in horror. Heather shook her head. They didn’t have a lot of time. As it was Charles was probably just blowing off steam on a walk around the block and she needed to get them out of there before he came back. "Mom are you okay?"
"Daniel, go in your room and grab a few toys and your pillow. Can you do that for me?"
"Why?"
"Just do it. Please. We’re going to go stay with Leroy for a couple of days." It wasn’t a total lie. They were going. They just weren’t leaving. "I have some of your clothes down there already."
"What about dad?"
She winced but knelt down to her son’s level. "Right now the grownups are having a fight and it’s best if your dad and I don’t see each other for a while." She stroked his cheek. "Please, Daniel. Just get your things while I get James."
"Did Dad hit you?" His little hand was on her cheek. "It looks like it hurts, Mom."
"It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Just do this for me, okay?" She crushed him to her in a quick hug and then shooed him into his room before ducking into James’. Her little super hero sat on his bed, clutching his toy car and his rabbit, and she almost burst into tears. Luckily, bags were already packed downstairs and she also kept a ready bag for James for when they were out and around. She cried out and saw white again as searing pain shot through her as she lifted her son into her arms, but she needed to comfort him. Her ribs could wait. "Come on, Sweetie. We’re gonna go."
James put his arms around her neck and held tight. "Mommy ouch?"
"Yeah, Mommy ouch." She needed to defend Charles less to James. "Come on, Daniel!" Her nine year old emerged from his room with his soccer ball and his game controllers. They hurried down the steps and she all but pushed them into her car. James squirmed a bit at being put in his car seat but she didn’t have time to worry about tears. She raced back inside for as many of the bags and suitcases as she could carry and threw them all into the trunk and the front seat of her Audi climbed into the driver’s seat. The boys looked at her, terrified. Daniel was holding tightly to James’ hand. At least they had each other. In seconds, she’d started the car and sped off, not looking in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t how she’d expected to leave, but she was still gone. They’d have to deal with the fallout tomorrow.
#2 of 5
Dinner was in the oven. James had cuddled up on his bed with his favorite stuffed rabbit and finally passed out, Daniel doing his homework. Heather moved through the quiet house, cataloging belongings. In these quiet times she took advantage of the time to put some clothing into suitcases, slipping photograph albums into easily grabable bags, and shuffling favorite books toward the front bookshelves. Charles didn’t notice and only now she’d stared to realize how most of the decorations in the house were his anyway. Somehow in fifteen years, her life had become small enough to fit into her office and one shelf in the kitchen. She didn’t want his trophies or his collection of glass planes or the endless books on things she didn’t care about but that he insisted on sharing with her. At the bottom of the stairs she paused and glanced up again, worried again for Daniel and James. For the first few years of her marriage she’d stayed because she didn’t know any better. Now she stayed because of her children. Leaving was going to hurt them, but she could not stay in the house one day longer. Not after making the decision that what she really wanted was control over her life, a return to photography, and a man with blue eyes and silver hair who wanted a partner and not a trophy to hang on his wall.
Quietly, she slid the carryon she’d loaded with freshly washed clothes for the boys into the closet by the garage. It was the one closet where most of her things were hidden - including a suitcase of clothes she tended to wear just for Jethro. It amazed her how even her style of dress was freer when she was with him. While dinner cooked and she waited for Charles to come home, she made her way into her office where two boxes were already full of photographs and equipment for the business. She’d been packing for a week and even brought a few items to Leroy’s place in Oceanside on Wednesday. And not surprisingly, because it was nothing that Charles cared about, he hadn’t noticed a thing.
She glanced at the clock and closed her office door, giving herself some time. They knew not to bother her without knocking. Heather took a box of photographs out of her desk and removed the pictures, setting the box aside. The photographs fit perfectly into the side pocket of her purse. Glancing over her shoulder at her office door, she opened her laptop and clicked open her email. Leroy was working twenty hour days this week and their lives were text messages and emails right now. She didn’t like the case he’d been assigned but they both knew he couldn’t fight it. All she asked for was some daily contact, and he had responded with short and sweet messages and one rambling love letter that had set her crying. They hadn’t seen each other in four years and he still knew her better than she knew herself.
An email waited for her.
Heaths,
I’m on a break, wondering if your sister really did have it in for me when she assigned me this job. Restructuring the MCRT is so much more than even I realized. This case specifically is far above the heads of my agents, but my requests for replacements have gone ignored.
Saw your stuff in the house. I wish I could have been there that afternoon. I put the stuff for the boys in the bigger room, which I assumed would go to Daniel. I also ordered a bed for him and it’s set up. I promise I’ll make him one by hand as soon as I’m done with the loft one for James. I don’t want him to ever feel unwanted; he’s such a great little boy. But he’s going to need a place to sleep.
I’ll see you this weekend.
I love you more than anything.
Forever,
Leroy
She sighed and shook her head. The man was meant to be a husband and a father; he just needed the right woman in his life. She was lucky enough to be that woman. A quick check of the clock and she hit reply and started to type.
Babe,
The house is wonderful, but you know I think that. And thank you for getting the bed set up for Daniel. You’re right, he’s going to be the most hurt in this. I think that James already sees you as a father, even if he doesn’t understand why. Daniel worships his father and it is not going to be an easy road with him. Anything to help with the transition will help. So thank you.
I miss your face and I need to see you. I wish you weren’t working like you are.
Outside, a car door slammed shut and she jumped. But her office door was closed. Charles would leave her alone. She turned her attention back to the email.
But I understand why you are and what you’re doing. I just can’t wait to see you this weekend. I want to bring James with me and give you two time together, but I’m not sure it will happen. There’s just so many things to navigate. I’ve been packing more things, though and I will bring them with me.
When her office door slammed open, Heather jumped to her feet and spun around, protecting her privacy. "Charles?" She checked the clock again. No, dinner wasn’t ready.
"What the hell is going on, Heather?"
Heather froze. The last time she saw that look on Charles’ face, he’d thrown her so hard across the room she’d cracked her head on the corner at the wall and the bruises on her arms had taken two weeks to fade. She watched his eyes scan the office, taking in the boxes and packed supplies, and swallowed. She’d hoped this would be done peacefully.
"I’m leaving." Somehow she found her voice. Her fingers clutched the desk, giving her something to lean on to. She’d ask how he found out, but something told her that Nosy Neighbor Nancy had everything to do with it. She and Charles liked each other and she was sure the older woman had been all too happy to ask about that new "uncle" the boys seemed to have. Had he recently married into the family? And why was he around only when Charles wasn’t? Oh, he’d been there at Halloween too. Yes, she knew she could blame Nancy for exposing her secret, but it didn’t change reality.
He’d only hit her once before, but she knew that expression on his face - it matched his father so perfectly - so she squared her shoulders and waited for what she knew was coming. It came harder than she expected. He backhanded her across the face with so much force she felt his watchband cut into the soft flesh near her eye. Stumbling to the side, she held onto the desk for balance, which proved to be a mistake because she didn’t have the chance to squirm out of the way as he hit her again. She felt her shoulder tweak in the socket as her fingers released the desk and she stumbled back. He grabbed her arm and hauled her so close she could smell the anger on his breath. "Who the hell is he, Heather?" Her husband towered over her and she gasped for breath, trying to regain her ground. Before she could find her voice, he’d opened her laptop and was scanning the email she’d been writing. "Gibbs?!"
His voice was suddenly very far away as Heather watched drop of blood fell onto the top of her hand. Her eyes focused on it rather than the email. "The same Gibbs your sister chased after in Paris?" It didn’t matter if she answered or not. He had the answer he wanted and she’d never been so glad that she kept all of her important materials on already packed external drives when he picked up the laptop in one hand and threw it against the wall so hard it shattered. As the laptop fell to pieces, Charles threw her across the room. Her head and shoulder hit the rows of thin glass shelves so hard they wobbled in their settings and the top one shattered. She screamed and ducked, covering her eyes with her arms, feeling glass rain down around her.
"Charles! Stop!" She screamed even as he grabbed her again. She slipped on one of the bigger pieces of glass and fell back against the shelf settings. This time she felt a snap in her torso as pain suddenly washed over her. She couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. Charles took advantage of her disorientation to grab her by the wrist it bend unnaturally as she tried to wiggle away. Blood choked her throat from her nose and she couldn’t breathe. Somehow she found the ability to suck in air and pushed at him. "Charles! Stop!" He released her and she fell again, feeling another shelf break around her, but this time she kept her footing.
"How long has it been going on? How long have you been making a fool of me?" Inches from her, he stopped, one hand on either side of her, balancing against the last remaining glass shelf. He was too close for her to push away, but at least with his hands on the shelf and not her, he wouldn’t hit her and Heather knew he preferred to have her trapped rather than beaten.
"Since before the wedding." She responded softly, but with a strength in her voice she knew he wasn’t used to hearing. It was strength she wasn’t used to voicing.
Anger overtook him she knew he was nothing but blind, humiliated rage as threw her to the ground. His fingers tangled in her hair and forced her head up to look at him. Her fingers were within inches of his boot and she curled them in defensively. She couldn’t work if her fingers were crushed.
"Mommy?"
Daniels’ voice made Charles freeze. Heather took advantage of the moment and shoved away, glancing at the office door, thanking whatever god was out there that somehow when Charles had slammed through, it had shut itself again. The break in his anger changed everything.
"I’m okay, baby," she managed to choke out, so glad he knew not to come in if the door was closed. "Go upstairs and wash up for dinner okay? See if your brother is awake." The interruption let her pull herself to her feet but pain sliced through her whole body and she saw white before she managed to catch her breath.
After they heard Daniel’s feet on the stairs, Heather stared at her husband again. She was silent for a long moment before she brushed her hair out of her face and wiped the blood out of her eyes. Staring at him through tears, she backed away from him to huddle against the wall. "Since before the wedding, Charles." She repeated. "We met a couple of months before you and I got married. It started then."
Charles reeled back, shocked, staring at her. "What?"
Heather took a painful breath, her legs shaking, seeking a courage she wasn’t sure she had. "Yes. Since the beginning." And the truth came out. "We got back together a couple of months ago; we’d stopped seeing each other when I got pregnant with James."
"James?" He was advancing again and she had no where to go.
"He’s Leroy’s, Charles." Somehow, she didn’t see the back handed smack that landed right on the cut she was still bleeding from. The instant it happened, she turned and grabbed his hand, knocking it down. He grabbed and bent her already swollen wrist, turning her and pinning her against the wall. She felt her wrist bend but couldn’t separate the pain in her arm from the pain in the rest of her body. "Let go of me, Charles!" She screamed, pushing back, futilely, against her husband’s weight. For a brief second she was terrified he’d rape her in this position, but violence was not a turn on for him. He wasn’t even rough in bed. Even if he reached that point, something would stop him if only the reality that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her now that he knew she’d been sleeping with Leroy. "Touch me again and I’ll make it so you never see the boys again. I’m not your mother, Charles. I’m not going to put up with this!" She couldn’t breathe in the position he had her in.
"You’re the one who has been cheating on me."
"I acknowledge that." She tried to get free but he held her tighter and pressed her harder into the wall, bending her wrist even more. "That doesn’t give you any right to hit me, Charles." She needed to get free but he wasn’t letting her go. "You have a choice right now, Charles. You can beat the crap out of me and not only never see your kids again, but get arrested in front of the neighborhood or you can take a step back and we can talk."
He hissed in her ear. "Kid. James isn’t mine."
"He still loves you!"
"He’s young enough to forget me." Charles was still hissing. "How dare you do this to me."
"Because I didn’t know how to say no!" She took a scared, nervous breath but refused to lose her nerve despite the pain. "Because everyone said we were perfect for each other and I wanted to believe it." She couldn’t breathe around the blood in her throat but she had to keep talking. The more she talked, the less he’d hit her. "Because every single time you corrected me in public or you talked politics and military stuff around me like I was some flighty girl, I closed in on myself. I actually believed I deserved to be ignored. I believed it, Charles."
"I’ve never ignored you." He was still hissing, but the pressure on her was less.
"Yes! You have! With every breath, Charles, you ignore me. You make me believe I’m not worth your time! I’m good for getting the dinner on the table and to keep you warm in bed, but I’m not worth you, Charles. I never have been!" Suddenly he pushed off of her and she gripped the nearest sturdy surface - the shelf mount on the wall.
"What, and Gibbs doesn’t ignore you?"
Somehow, on her wobbly legs, she turned around. Something in his words stuck with her - it was like he expected that she be ignored. "When we are in the same room, I’m all that matters. He listens, Charles."
"He’s willingly sleeping with a married woman."
"We’ve been in love with each other for years. This isn’t some quick fling."
"So while you were saying I Do to me you were what? Waiting until the reception so you could fuck him in the broom closet?"
Only the pain in her body kept her from slapping him. "Don’t go there." Suddenly, she needed to run. But she couldn’t abandon the office. This was her space, her upper ground. The minute she walked out into the rest of the house, it became his home again and she just wasn’t sure she could keep her strength of courage. She also wasn’t sure how she was going to get her keys or the boys because there was no way she was staying in Lompoc tonight. If she could get her legs under her, she could get out. "I was going to leave you anyway, Charles." She repeated from before.
"What, and like in some fucking romantic comedy, the man of your dreams gave you the strength to do it?" His voice was still low and he was still poised to strike, but at least he wasn’t throwing her around the room anymore.
"Not the strength but the shove. I’ve been ready to leave for a while. I just didn’t know how." She took a painful breath. He was still angry, but at least they were talking instead of him hitting her.
"For how long?"
"Since James." She crossed her arms, somehow. Everything hurt. "I didn’t want to come to California."
"So why did you?"
"Because I didn’t know what else to do. I’m a military wife, Charles. I go where I’m supposed to go. I do what I’m told. So I came." The part of her that did give a damn about him felt bad. He wasn’t a bad man and he loved his children. But all of her pent up anger was spilling free and she couldn’t stop it. Every time he’d corrected her in front of his friends, every Christmas mistake, every damned time the turkey had been a bit dry at Thanksgiving, every time they’d all looked the other way when his father did something unspeakable to his mother.
She refused to disappear anymore into the woodwork. She refused to let her sons see her become a shadow of a mother, overwhelmed by their father. Standing across the room from her husband, a man who had sworn up and down that he wouldn’t turn into his father, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d always been like him and to keep him from hitting her, she’d been willing to placate him, to make him feel that he was better because he wasn’t frightening. But she’d been frightened. Terrified. But right now wasn’t about terror. She’d fed the beast as much as he’d been afraid of it and now she was taking the toys away from the spoiled little boy.
"And what does Jenny think of all this?"
"Don’t use my sister against me." She’d lost Jenny when she chose Leroy. She knew that. But what amazed her was that even in all of it, she was willing to still lose her. At first, she’d hoped that if she backed off, if she gave him up, Jenny would somehow get better and they could work it all out. But now she knew that it didn’t matter how she and Jethro showed up at the funeral, the whispers and the stares would still follow them. She’d been willing to risk them before. She had to be willing to risk them now.
They stared at each other and she was again contemplating how long it would take to get the boys out of their rooms and into the car. It was a long drive to Oceanside, but once she was out of the house, she was safe - if she could make the drive. Her body ached and her eye was swelling shut. She could get to Leroy’s and in the morning, they’d figure out her next move. But she had to get out the door that Charles was blocking. Any move and she knew she’d end up thrown against the wall again and she couldn’t very well drive if her back was broken. Fifteen years of marriage told her to just apologize and wait it out the forgiveness. But she was tired of slinking around and she wasn’t going to act like she’d forgotten to do the dishes. This was her happiness and the well being of her sons she was defending.
"Does Jenny even know?" He was spitting.
"She does. She found out somehow. A rumor was started back in DC we think and it couldn’t be denied. She also knows about James."
"So I’m the idiot who is the last to know."
She swallowed nervously, feeling bad for just a second. Even her mother had her suspicions, after all. As much as she wanted out, he still had his pride and she’d pretty much ripped that to shreds, especially with her weekends with Jethro this time around. "I’m sorry, Charles." Apologizing would get her out the door, and she actually did mean it.
"Are you sorry that I found out or are you sorry for cheating on me?" He was hissing again.
"I’m sorry I hurt you." She took a nervous breath. "I’m sorry I even went through with the wedding because I was already in love with someone else. He loves me. I love him."
"How did you meet?"
"It’s not important."
"How. Did. You. Meet?" He advanced. She shrank back but kept her shoulders steady.
"In a bar. He came in looking to pick someone up and he found me. We went back to his place and stayed up and talked and I just couldn’t get him out of my system. I kept going back." He raised his hand again. She flinched, visibly. Slowly, the hand went down. "I kept going back," she said again, "because I liked the way he listened to me."
"Why didn’t you say anything?" Again she flinched, but this time at the pain in his voice. He'd thought they were perfect together. He'd had no idea she wasn't happy.
"Because I wanted our fairy tale to work. It wasn’t until after that I realized the fairy tale wasn’t what I expected." They stared at each other, hurt pouring from him, nerves making her vibrate.
"And you think you’ve got a fairy tale with some guy you’ve been screwing on and off for fifteen years?"
"I think," she said with a sigh, "that I realized there is no such thing as a fairy tale. Jethro and I are good together."
"Why now, Heather?"
"Because it was time, Charles. If I wait any longer, I’ll stop mattering."
The stared at each other for a long time until something broke. Suddenly, surprising her, he turned and stormed out. Heather waited, frozen like a rabbit, until she heard the front door slam before she snatched her car keys off her desk, grabbed her purse and the bag with some of her most important office supplies, and raced into the kitchen to turn off the stove before things caught on fire and the house burned down. "Daniel!" She screamed, hearing herself around the blood in her throat. God she must look a mess. "Daniel, get your brother!" When she didn’t hear movement, she left her bags at the bottom of the stairs and took them two at a time, ignoring the pain in her ribs and wrist so she could get her kids. Daniel stood in the doorway to James’ room, his eyes wide and scared.
"Mom?" He was staring at her face in horror. Heather shook her head. They didn’t have a lot of time. As it was Charles was probably just blowing off steam on a walk around the block and she needed to get them out of there before he came back. "Mom are you okay?"
"Daniel, go in your room and grab a few toys and your pillow. Can you do that for me?"
"Why?"
"Just do it. Please. We’re going to go stay with Leroy for a couple of days." It wasn’t a total lie. They were going. They just weren’t leaving. "I have some of your clothes down there already."
"What about dad?"
She winced but knelt down to her son’s level. "Right now the grownups are having a fight and it’s best if your dad and I don’t see each other for a while." She stroked his cheek. "Please, Daniel. Just get your things while I get James."
"Did Dad hit you?" His little hand was on her cheek. "It looks like it hurts, Mom."
"It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Just do this for me, okay?" She crushed him to her in a quick hug and then shooed him into his room before ducking into James’. Her little super hero sat on his bed, clutching his toy car and his rabbit, and she almost burst into tears. Luckily, bags were already packed downstairs and she also kept a ready bag for James for when they were out and around. She cried out and saw white again as searing pain shot through her as she lifted her son into her arms, but she needed to comfort him. Her ribs could wait. "Come on, Sweetie. We’re gonna go."
James put his arms around her neck and held tight. "Mommy ouch?"
"Yeah, Mommy ouch." She needed to defend Charles less to James. "Come on, Daniel!" Her nine year old emerged from his room with his soccer ball and his game controllers. They hurried down the steps and she all but pushed them into her car. James squirmed a bit at being put in his car seat but she didn’t have time to worry about tears. She raced back inside for as many of the bags and suitcases as she could carry and threw them all into the trunk and the front seat of her Audi climbed into the driver’s seat. The boys looked at her, terrified. Daniel was holding tightly to James’ hand. At least they had each other. In seconds, she’d started the car and sped off, not looking in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t how she’d expected to leave, but she was still gone. They’d have to deal with the fallout tomorrow.