...

[ddevild0ll]

It's amazing how slowly 5 days can go by... It feels like a month has past... It really does. It's also amazing how quickly everything in your life can change. The last few days have been complete agony. I don't remember breaking up with someone ever hurting this fucking bad. Maybe in the past, it didn't. Maybe after 3 years together, I wasn't

Comments

[jerkofalltrades]

Oh I'm so sorry, Sally. The pain that you are writing about is so hard to deal with, and I hope that you can get through it. I'm glad that your family and friends are right there with you. If you ever need to pick up the phone to call me please do so

[ddevild0ll]

It is very hard to explain why I am choosing to try again, because logically, I have no explanation, and no excuses. I just feel that I am not yet ready to let go. I am a pessimist by nature, so I always assume the worst... Like now. Maybe Erik will prove me wrong, but I doubt it. I just need to know for sure that I did everything I could before I feel I can really move on. Mentally, I wasn't handling this well at all, and every day seemed to just get worse and worse. I know that eventually, the pain goes away, but I am just not ready to go through that right now. With Erik moved out, it has helped relieve a lot of the tension and stress I have been carrying. And if it doesn't work out with us, then at least I don't have the full shock of it hitting me all at once, since he is already not living here anymore. Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone else or not.

I really appreciate you being here though, thank you so very much!

Love,
Sally

[formosus_ferus]

I know I don't really know what's going on so take my advice for what it's worth. Maybe it won't work out, maybe it is doomed, but if part of you still wonders if it could have worked out then maybe it isn't time for you to move on yet. Maybe trying to work things out will only serve to confirm your suspicion that nothing is going to change, but from there you can head forward with new resolve and hope for a better life knowing that you exhausted all possible avenues to work it out. Do whatever it is you feel like you need to do even if it makes no rational sense, because this is a matter of the heart (I think everyone knows that the heart won't be reasoned with) and it's your life and you have to live with your decisions. Things always seem so easy to fix from the outside

[ddevild0ll]

Thank you so much for understanding! You are definitely right. Logically, I know that this will probably not work, but my heart won't listen, and I really feel that I need to know for sure. Otherwise, I will just carry the "what if"s around with me forever. Thank you so much for your support in this!

Sally

[joeolm]

on a lighter note... on The Return: I don't think I could have seen a bigger piece of shit if the entire theater was made of pressed crap. and the dialog? i don't think i could have heard more bullshit if a bull actually SHIT IN MY EAR.

[ddevild0ll]

HAHAHHAHAHA!!! If only I'd read THIS review before seeing the film... I seriously would have rather gone for a Root Canal than to see that god awful movie... Pretty fucking offensively bad!

Sally

[lelielknight]

I know how totally horrible a breakup with a long term boyfriend can be. It feels like someone has punched you in the gut and is squeezing your heart so tightly you can barely breathe. You had your reasons to do what you did and come to the decision you made. You love him, but sometimes (as I found out the hard way) love is not enough. It takes 2 people to work on a relationship and when only one is pulling the weight and making an effort and working it slowly, but surely takes its toll and will end

[ddevild0ll]

Thank you SO much, Rachel! This has been incredibly hard for me, and I know that you have been through similar situations. If Erik would have left me alone after we broke up, or said "fine, see ya!", then it would have been easier just to move on. But with him just calling and calling, and begging and begging to give him another chance, he is SO sorry, he never realized, didn't know what he had until he lost it... Blah blah blah... I just gave in, because it was everything that I waited so long to hear. I want to believe him, but I know logically that even though I'm sure he means it right now, human nature has a way of slipping back into taking life for granted. But at least with us living apart, I am no longer in a position to be paying for things. This way I can truly know if he loves me for JUST Me, or Me AND everything I did for him. You know? And this also gives me more room to breathe, and to focus on myself