(no subject)
this is true. i look and act like a famous person. when i go places, people stop me and ask if they know me. and i always say 'no. no you dont. but i understand why you might think you do. im a famous person.'
famous people enjoy things, like food and entertainment. they're easy to converse with, as they seem to do the heavy lifting in a conversation with only blinking and head nodding. you feel a deep personal connection when a famous person such as i concentrates our laser beam like intensity on your unfamous face.
i can handle myself in famous settings as if it were second nature, but it's not. it's first nature. parties, interviews, hearings: these normally stressful situations are like unto bathing in kelp-infused mineral water to me. refreshing and comfortable. famous people sweat, but the sweat is light and powdery and nice to the nose.
sometimes, people don't know i'm a famous person. they suspect, but lack the mental faculty or social awareness to recognize that feeling of being in the presence of royalty or demigodhood as real and palatable and something to be heeded. im patient with these people.
as a famous person, i dont have to trivialize my inner monologue with such things as doubt, insecurity, traffic laws, etc. i dont know what the word celebrity means, unless it means famous person, then i do. i may not understand the inner workings of financial institutions or coffee grinders or cats, but i know what i know, and i know thats all i need to know.
also, some things that i dont know, i actually do know, i'm just unaware that i know them. this helps a famous person manage their vast arenas of expertise into a more useful mindset for everyday famous life, without getting distracted by all of the knowledge, both known, unknown, and suspected to be unknown but in actuality... known.
famous people like cheese. i love cheese. you might say to yourself that you love cheese as well and mayhap you too are a famous person. the answer is no. no.
if youre reading this, then you are a friend, acquaintance, or other, of a famous person, and that famous person is me. its not reason enough alone to be happy, but its a reassuring side of happy that comes with your main course of quiet mediocrity, garnished with self loathing, and served with a tall frosty glass of nobody really likes you.
lets do lunch sometime.