not dead yet

[dead_kitty]

The procedure was extremely eck! but now it's over. Which makes me happy. So here's a happy (er) poem and pic from the state fair.

Your Tenth Birthdayclamor, bells, ringing that

Comments

[syllepsis]

I love it! The second / third 'stanzas' could be stronger, but I get the feeling and the sense of strangeness that pervades your work (and which I so love). That picture is incredible. Yours?

[dead_kitty]

Yes, it's all me! Hmm. Any suggestions about the stanzas?

[syllepsis]

Everyplace else is rapt with austere, yet riveting images. Here things seem plain-er, less startling (that's always the word I use, I want startling). If that makes sense. And sigh seems to give an adult feel to a child, but not in a particularly intriguing or interesting way. Most of my issue could be alleviated by the poem just being longer, but with something so short I want everything to punch me. Also, "your nap" and "your flesh" - I think more could be done with nap and flesh than your. But I think "your own light" is okay, if that stays.

What camera do you use? It seems like something from a pinhole camera because of the focus all around. Or maybe I just think that bug's in focus. Anyway, it's an amazing composition.

[dead_kitty]

Good suggestions -- I sort of changed that section already. It's just a regular digital camera, elph or something. I did some photoshopping to make the colors stronger.

[santaprudencia]

Great picture, like the poem too though I have no good advice on poetry lately. Mostly wanted to wish you well!

[dead_kitty]

Thanks! I have my fingers crossed till Friday, when I get the results.