poem

Feb 14, 2006 22:23

sorry it took so long, heres the poem I wrote...I thought it was pretty good but every time I read it it seems to get worse,honest opinions would help, thanx ( Read more... )

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superrosie14 February 15 2006, 08:20:32 UTC
Awww, you're my favorite little emo brother EVER!
:P
I really like the poem- the rhyme scheme could use a little work and there isn't a constant rhythm, but I love the idea.
I hope that helps and isn't discouraging.
I love you bro, and I hope your Valentines was more eventful than mine.

P.S. I wannnnnna see your haircut!!!
Fix the computer! Fix the computer NOW!
:)

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feel_niqole February 15 2006, 17:17:32 UTC
awesome poem... i like how it was completely random... everything from the words, to the length of sentences, to the rhyming... it's a diff. writing style - and if that's what you intended then it rocked... only thing is, i'd change " Strike-out’s number more than three. " to just "Strike-out" without the 's... seemed more choppy like the rest of the poem... rock on bro rock on

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superrosie14 September 6 2006, 02:57:09 UTC
Hey pseudo-emo boy! How about you give your big sister a phone call once in a while, eh?!

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