Contemplations On Nothing...
Can't sleep. Damn. I was reading over J's email to me tonight and I don't really see it as preachy, the way he described. That was definitely not my intent anyway. Me? Preachy? Hmmmm. I think he continues to misconstrue what I'm saying when I talk about life and pain and the Buddhist concept of nothingness. He said that he doesn't agree with me, that life is pain. He prefers to believe that life is good. I just don't think he really gets it at all. He doesn’t even seem to understand the simple fact that I'm in COMPLETE agreement with such a statement. It's not about, as he put it, pathetically wallowing in our original connection together of High School sorrow because we have not learned a more sophisticated means of relating to one another. It’s not about that AT ALL!!! It's about GROWING from that sorrow!!! But that's just the tip of the elusive iceberg. I would grammatically add to his statement however, that life CAN BE good (one just has to have the courage to LET it be) and that it's a matter of perspective that's different from person to person.
It's all relatively pragmatic, which I KNOW he’s shown a tendency to appreciate. It’s something that has drawn us both together with a deep connection over the years. God, we’re not even dating! Why the hell am I talking about all of this? The whole foundation of Dharma (and the psychoanalytical model, for that matter) is based on a notion, for what it's worth, that suffering is unnecessary: Like a disease, once we really face the fact that suffering exists, we can look more deeply and discover it's cause; and when we discover that the cause is dependent on certain conditions, we can explore the possibility of removing those conditions. Hasn't that been what we've been attempting to do this entire time? Why are we here? Irrelevant question.
The only real difference between our two views of spirituality is that, in most religious traditions (such as his, Christianity) one prays to the deities of that tradition in the hopes of receiving their blessing, which will benefit one in some way. This has always seemed relatively silly to me, which I don’t nearly have enough energy to get into right now under several milligrams of Melatonin. I feel more that the blessing, power and the superlative qualities of the enlightened beings (which both he and I have admitted to continually strive towards) are not considered as coming from an outside source, but are believed to be innate, to be aspects of our own true nature. My belief is that love and compassion are within each and every one of us, but that it cannot be fully acknowledged without a basic understanding of our earthly attachment to pain. I think these ideals closely mirror the one's practiced by most Christians. I don't really see him and I as all that different in these regards. I don’t think he understands though. As the great sage Yoda once said : Fear leads to anger, and that anger leads to pain. I don’t think, for the most part, that he has acknowledged his fear.
Anyway, getting groggy now. I just wanted to vent to no one in general. I wish I could some way, instantly clear up any of his confusion regarding this topic. I guess that’s HIS path though, and his path alone to travel. We’re all ignorant. It’s unfortunate that most of us die that way. I'll stop preaching now. Just something to think about.
It's all relatively pragmatic, which I KNOW he’s shown a tendency to appreciate. It’s something that has drawn us both together with a deep connection over the years. God, we’re not even dating! Why the hell am I talking about all of this? The whole foundation of Dharma (and the psychoanalytical model, for that matter) is based on a notion, for what it's worth, that suffering is unnecessary: Like a disease, once we really face the fact that suffering exists, we can look more deeply and discover it's cause; and when we discover that the cause is dependent on certain conditions, we can explore the possibility of removing those conditions. Hasn't that been what we've been attempting to do this entire time? Why are we here? Irrelevant question.
The only real difference between our two views of spirituality is that, in most religious traditions (such as his, Christianity) one prays to the deities of that tradition in the hopes of receiving their blessing, which will benefit one in some way. This has always seemed relatively silly to me, which I don’t nearly have enough energy to get into right now under several milligrams of Melatonin. I feel more that the blessing, power and the superlative qualities of the enlightened beings (which both he and I have admitted to continually strive towards) are not considered as coming from an outside source, but are believed to be innate, to be aspects of our own true nature. My belief is that love and compassion are within each and every one of us, but that it cannot be fully acknowledged without a basic understanding of our earthly attachment to pain. I think these ideals closely mirror the one's practiced by most Christians. I don't really see him and I as all that different in these regards. I don’t think he understands though. As the great sage Yoda once said : Fear leads to anger, and that anger leads to pain. I don’t think, for the most part, that he has acknowledged his fear.
Anyway, getting groggy now. I just wanted to vent to no one in general. I wish I could some way, instantly clear up any of his confusion regarding this topic. I guess that’s HIS path though, and his path alone to travel. We’re all ignorant. It’s unfortunate that most of us die that way. I'll stop preaching now. Just something to think about.