in which Nick plays Games: Portal 2
I didn't play the co-op mode yet, and don't know anything about it. YET. I'll likely write an addendum when I do.
Things I Liked:
- All 4 of the characters from the first game are back! And if you can name all 4, props to you.
- It's still Portal!
- The new stuff was just new enough to be novel while not feeling game-changing.
- Wheatley was pretty goddamn hilarious. Then creepy.
- So was GLaDOS.
- So was Cave FUCKING Johnson. Holy shit, I was dying at time. "You plug those numbers into your calculator, and it makes a smiley face!."
- Hell, the whole game was funny. Valve-humor works for me.
- The full (and often) disturbing picture of Aperture Science made for an excellent backdrop.
- The Turrets became a Character. Potentially my favorite one.
- The song over the credits was alright. The aria leading up to it was fucking AMAZING. Go learn Italian, or find the translation.
- The final sequence was appropriately epic, if a little goofy. Also - and I talk about the linearity below, mind - the final player-triggerable action was EXACTLY what it needed to be. I mean, seriously - watch the whole final sequence. I went from frustration ("AH YOU FUCKING CORES!") to elation ("HA, FUCK YOU WHEATLEY!" to depression ("WHAT THE FUCK?! I'M DEAD!") to grim realization ("I CAN'T MOVE! ALL I CAN FUCKING SHOOT....holy shit, CAVE FUCKING JOHNSON") to victory. Valve gave you all the parts, and there was a 0.02-second CLICK in my head when it all came together. I took my fucking shot and expected to die - but fuckin' a, I WASN'T GOING ALONE. I had a total, momentary disconnect from reality, and that hasn't happened in a long long time. Then, it was just lean back and watch the end.
- I'm a bitter, tired old man. I know this. I complain a lot - more than I should. That said - the last playable 30 seconds of Portal 2's single-player campaign put me through such a gamut of emotions, I am loath to say ANYTHING. Well, other than this game is a goddamn work of Art.
Things I Didn't Like:
- I sort of wish I didn't know GLaDOS was coming back. It would've made the first hour of the game less obligatory.
- The game was EXCEEDINGLY linear. It took great, great pains to hide it, but watch the final fight again - there is literally ONE way for it to go down, and while it felt like a revelation when I was playing it the first time there was absolutely no other way for it to happen.
- The final fight was, on occasion, frustrating. The last two cores were a bitch to get ahold of, as there was a very small window of opportunity and thus success.
- The credits song - while another relatively clever turn by J. Coulton - isn't nearly as catchy as "Still Alive."
- Some of the achievements are kind of a bitch. Hopefully I can claim them while listening to the developer commentary, but my hopes aren't high - that's not the Valve SOP.
- There's the obvious niggling scientific and historical issues. Aperture apparently had portal-guns in 1952? And that white paint is the only portal-able surface? How much moon dust did they bring back?! I mean, given the whole alternate-history angle, it makes sense that Aperture would stripmine the moon (less someone else get there first!), but wow.
- Nolan North? SERIOUSLY?! Does this guy have someone's balls in a vice or something? Maybe including him was a joke?
Verdict:
If you didn't like the first Portal, I already think less of you. There is no debate on this, end of line. Portal 2, while significantly more linear and less fresh/novel, is EXACTLY what a sequel should be. GOTY?
Things I Liked:
- All 4 of the characters from the first game are back! And if you can name all 4, props to you.
- It's still Portal!
- The new stuff was just new enough to be novel while not feeling game-changing.
- Wheatley was pretty goddamn hilarious. Then creepy.
- So was GLaDOS.
- So was Cave FUCKING Johnson. Holy shit, I was dying at time. "You plug those numbers into your calculator, and it makes a smiley face!."
- Hell, the whole game was funny. Valve-humor works for me.
- The full (and often) disturbing picture of Aperture Science made for an excellent backdrop.
- The Turrets became a Character. Potentially my favorite one.
- The song over the credits was alright. The aria leading up to it was fucking AMAZING. Go learn Italian, or find the translation.
- The final sequence was appropriately epic, if a little goofy. Also - and I talk about the linearity below, mind - the final player-triggerable action was EXACTLY what it needed to be. I mean, seriously - watch the whole final sequence. I went from frustration ("AH YOU FUCKING CORES!") to elation ("HA, FUCK YOU WHEATLEY!" to depression ("WHAT THE FUCK?! I'M DEAD!") to grim realization ("I CAN'T MOVE! ALL I CAN FUCKING SHOOT....holy shit, CAVE FUCKING JOHNSON") to victory. Valve gave you all the parts, and there was a 0.02-second CLICK in my head when it all came together. I took my fucking shot and expected to die - but fuckin' a, I WASN'T GOING ALONE. I had a total, momentary disconnect from reality, and that hasn't happened in a long long time. Then, it was just lean back and watch the end.
- I'm a bitter, tired old man. I know this. I complain a lot - more than I should. That said - the last playable 30 seconds of Portal 2's single-player campaign put me through such a gamut of emotions, I am loath to say ANYTHING. Well, other than this game is a goddamn work of Art.
Things I Didn't Like:
- I sort of wish I didn't know GLaDOS was coming back. It would've made the first hour of the game less obligatory.
- The game was EXCEEDINGLY linear. It took great, great pains to hide it, but watch the final fight again - there is literally ONE way for it to go down, and while it felt like a revelation when I was playing it the first time there was absolutely no other way for it to happen.
- The final fight was, on occasion, frustrating. The last two cores were a bitch to get ahold of, as there was a very small window of opportunity and thus success.
- The credits song - while another relatively clever turn by J. Coulton - isn't nearly as catchy as "Still Alive."
- Some of the achievements are kind of a bitch. Hopefully I can claim them while listening to the developer commentary, but my hopes aren't high - that's not the Valve SOP.
- There's the obvious niggling scientific and historical issues. Aperture apparently had portal-guns in 1952? And that white paint is the only portal-able surface? How much moon dust did they bring back?! I mean, given the whole alternate-history angle, it makes sense that Aperture would stripmine the moon (less someone else get there first!), but wow.
- Nolan North? SERIOUSLY?! Does this guy have someone's balls in a vice or something? Maybe including him was a joke?
Verdict:
If you didn't like the first Portal, I already think less of you. There is no debate on this, end of line. Portal 2, while significantly more linear and less fresh/novel, is EXACTLY what a sequel should be. GOTY?