we send K and the spider forward, the spider riding on K's head.
There's a fork; the spider goes left, K goes right
The fork on the left ends in a door: the spider ducks under it and sees a collector's gallery of armour, with checkerboard flooring, eight pillars, eight suits, and - very important - sconces. There's an exit.
The right fork continues with a branching off door and another door terminating the corridor.
DM ruling: owls can't open doors.
The spider ventures into another room beyond the gallery: a big hall, with three large banquet tables with half-eaten food piled high on them. Suspect that's where everybody was before VS alerted everybody to our presence.
Only one of the tables actually has any silverware: that's probably the table the Drow were using.
There's a half-open door, and another door: the spider ventures forward and sees...another hallway?
"Guys...open door. Kinda spooky!"
"Well pals, as interesting and cool as these fancy armour things sound, that sounds...like a magical enchantment trap thing, right?" Hal
"Maybe we can get Steeltus a friend!" Zorn
I've tried friendship recently, and it's working out...maybe if I get more blood in my system?
We want to go check out the armour. Is there any sexy armour, VS asks. There's one with an abnormally large codpiece? But for me, VS asks.
There's...one made of red bony scales, with a skirt hemmed with...teeth? There's a crown encrusted with...teeth?
Hal keeps his hand on VS' shoulder to prevent her from bolting...surreptitiously, while making small talk. There are no traps: LK opens the door and strides in, immediately impressed by the woodwork.
It's nice to see trees used well, he muses.
There are no traps.
Zorn casts Detect Magic: there's a ton of it. It's Conjuration/Transmutation.
"Here be magic, guys!" "Does that mean we can't touch it?"
...four of the suits immediately activate and commence hostilities.
One of them lashes out at Quinn, with a 24, with an automatic critical, and a Constitution check. Thankfully she's had an antitoxin, but this is...still not great. She's immediately KOed.
Holy fuck these guys have Assassinate and poison and Sneak Attacks. Christ.
Yex easily passes those checks, but still takes 40 damage. Holy shit.
VS throws out an Immolation; how dextrous would you imagine some armour to be? It's wreathed in fire.
And now...the Yex and Steeltus show. Yex drops a ton of damage on him and he falls to the floor, in a clatter of wood and metal.
...wood?
K revives Quinn with a potion: these are dire times. Quinn Disengages forward, taking cover behind the sexy armour, while chanting a Dissonant Whisper at a suit of armour. The one who stabbed her is dead, so she picks one at random.
It fails the checks, takes a bunch of Psychic damage, and scuttles into a corner.
Hal has been astounded the whole time, hand still on VS' shoulder.
Zorn teleports forward, Steel Wind Striking a series of them, completely destroying yet another one. This old man's got grit.
Hal strides forward, glaiving one apart. LK "killed a dude to death."
VS steps over a collapsed Quinn and fondles the sexy armour, in the aftermath. It feels...nice. And it definitely would fit.
Hal lays hands on Quinn for 24 HP. Quinn is...disappointed that it isn't as sexual this time. It's a bro grab - decidedly less firm. Hal touches her head instead of her breastplate.
She's glad of the 30 HP now though.
VS does a little twirl and asks what we think. Hal thinks she looks real great; Zorn tries an Arcana check and deduces that it's made of lizardskin, which he whispers to VS. Dragonskin! he shouts. Yex looks dubious.
There's no AC benefit. It's purely aesthetic. VS is still pleased that this exotic purely ceremonial orc armour fits her. In fact all this armour is very...ceremonial.
An Investigation on the remains - right where the heart would be is a Black Lotus signature.
The spider, Kalashnikov, ventures forward...and sees an ornate library, with lit candles. Somebody was here.
Kalashnikov gets a weird feeling...scuttles back, and bites Zorn as hard as he can.
A surprised Zorn smacks it away and and dismisses it.
"Some bad voodoo in there!"
VS walks into the dead silent dining hall, but on the other side of the room, there's...a door open? There's an amazing aroma, mouthwatering, savoury, coming from the lit other room.
VS peeks back into the other room and tries to tell them it's wonderfully aromatic in there.
Quinn casts Detect Magic ritually, to see what's going on with the Library of Inversions. More Conjuration/Enchantment magic.
Zorn felt...a sense of respect and kinship and power through the spider?
The party splits to open both the doors.
There are no traps on this door. Quinn opens it with Mage Hand, and nothing happens. LK checks for traps on his door: no traps on his door either. Yex goes with LK.
There's something...funky with the bookcases? We all enter and inspect the bookcases? There's a book open - LK and VS try to read it.
Or rather VS pretends to read it.
There's a drawing of the anatomy of a human body, with a glowing lock in the belly. It's a Time Lock? You find a newborn child, and you seal away the Time Lock in this child, and they all give up ten years of their life, these 5 practitioners, to seal the Lock in the child, but once it's activated...the mortal plane is frozen for a year, except for these 5 people. All evidence of this child's existence is wiped from existence.
Suddenly a bookcase spins around, and a Drow chucks a Firebolt at the book from a hidden position. The book goes up in flames!
...Quinn should have been watching those damn bookcases.