Hal claps Quinn on the back and says he's with her; so's Z13.
VS thinks slavery is a terrible evil, and yeah Quinn might die, but LK might actually die...we're choosing between these things. Unusually eloquently for VS.
Hal asks what about the orn-Zay, rime-Pay, how are we going to get him to obey?
Quinn coughs in a little embarrassed way and produces the enslavement collar.
Nobody knows what it is, they've all cycled characters.
"It's a totally magic item that...you know, it makes whoever wears it really want to obey me."
Do they like it? Z13 asks.
"...sure, why not. It's fine, there are no negative consequences to them, they don't suffer, and again it's totally fine."
VS reiterates her position on slavery and seeks confirmation from Dron, who says he hasn't got any compulsions about this.
Quinn moves to put the collar on; suddenly, someone springs into the room and screams!
A startled Quinn drops the collar and flings a dagger in that direction; it embeds itself in the entertainment pack he holds in front of his face.
He didn't know how to get our attention, but he wanted to tell us there's another way.
Quinn has her bow drawn. "my goodness! ah! you have bad aim! your aim is terrible! I was just trying to help, I think there's another way!"
Who are you? Z13 asks. How did you get down here? Hal asks.
I am a noise bard! My business is my own!
Quinn is wavering a little: the bow is very heavy and she's not that strong.
Hal keeps the sword up.
Yex is totally into it and is inclined to trust anyone with a song that melodious. Reminds him of a ditty he used to hear.
Do you hear that? No, Hal responds. You can't, and that's why you don't know the way.
Hal trusts him, and lowers his sword.
Z13 is going to have his spider stand near him, just in case.
The Noisebard - we may have mutual interests - indicates a recessed button on the ceiling, concealed in the stonework of a lion in the mural.
We never looked up.
VS presses the button!
The Noisebard is...a very short half-elf. With a braid down to his butt, in bad clothing.
Why'd you point to the ceiling? Z13 asks. The Noisebard leaps up and flicks his braid - with the metal ball at the end - and hits the button.
A set of stairs slides down: there's another room upstairs.
How did I not see that, Quinn yells.
Getting old, Quinn, Yex cackles.
The Noisebard goes up the stairs: VS stays behind to watch ZP.
There's a roomful of backup Zorns in vats, bits and pieces of failed Zorns...
...and an imposing door. Z13 inspects it and deduces it's a Dimension Door that ZP used to travel around to get rare reagents.
Yex is munching on a random bit of Zorn he found.
Quinn sidles up to Z13 and says, quick question./hmm?/magic door./yes./you know how to operate them?/no.
So...I shouldn't just go murder ZP.
No, probably not.
Hal says we should go through the door so that we'll get buffer and stronger and come back and off Rodun, like that Manticore we keep talking about.
It's canonical that Quinn has a little OCD-ness in her and keeps bringing up the Manticore.
Z13 flicks through the channels - literal hell, then a little bit of some robots wandering about, and then Tanarath!
We're uncertain as to whether or not to kill him. Quinn hands over an arrow to Z13: he should decide.
Let's all vote, Z13 says, but I get two votes because it's really important to me.
Z13 votes no. Hal votes no, because there's depths of unplumbed knowledge, there's more to learn, makes you think, doncherthink?
VS says we should kill him, and volunteers to Fireball him. I don't think it's a good use of a spell slot, Hal says. I do, VS replies darkly.
Z13 remembers that ZP said he couldn't reincarnate under ZoT, so it's fine, he votes to kill him.
Z13 Tolls the Dead the unconscious ZP, but it's...unsatisfying. He's comfortably numb. The Noisebard winces under this sonic onslaught.
Quinn looks at the dead naked body, then at Z13...and then without looking, shoots the dead body. Just in case.
The Noisebard is impressed by the no-look shot.
Z13 hasn't got any spare clothes to put on the body as he closes the eyes of the dead ZP.
Why are you here? Why are you coming with us? Z13 asks the Noisebard. You got a name? Quinn demands.
Quinn searches the secret lab for ten minutes, muttering "it's a secret lab, there's got to be something good here," but discovers nothing.
"This is the worst secret lab I've ever been in!"
Quinn stealths forward and...discovers a trick stair.
On inspection, it's...a giant bomb. A very big bomb. Like, five Fireballs of bomb. 5 smaller bombs.
Very carefully Quinn replaces the lid.
"There's a bomb. That's extremely a bomb. I've marked it. DO NOT STEP."
VS puts Blinking Lights on it so everybody can see and avoid it.
Quinn thinks about disassembling the bomb for parts, but...it's too risky. She wants to, though!
The next room is...well, there's Rizzet. He's fiddling with some origami, a fat goblin with a blazing red mullet, and the walls are just lined with semi-magical explosives. He's got a giant necklace, really nice rings, and he's surrounded by various bones of food, dirty underwear...
Rizzet reluctantly brings us in and offers us some, I don't know, food or something, he doesn't really want to get into conflict today...
VS compliments his hair and he says yeah my mother doesn't like it, I just...cut it sometimes with a dagger.
He finishes folding his little paper plane, and lazily blows on it....and it's time for Initiative.
IT WAS A SCHEME.
The plane explodes! Yex, VS, and Z13 are caught in it.
Rizzet starts curling up and grunting, and the skin on his shirtless back starts to wiggle around...and then little goblins start crawling out of his back.
Quinn discovered something about goblin reproduction today that she never wanted to know.
Yex tries three hits: 14/16/20, and only one hits. Dang. Rizzet fails the Goading Strike, though, so now he's got Disadvantage hitting anybody but Yex until next turn.
A goblin pulls a stick of dynamite out of the wall, swallows it, glows red, and then...explodes. Quinn is visibly confused, but takes no damage.
His friend does the same thing: Quinn takes no damage, and yells STOP DOING THAT!
Another goblin runs to the wall, picks up some more, and then explodes again.
Quinn Investigates the explosives and deduces that...the dynamite doesn't go off unless there's a soul entwined with it.
GOOD TO KNOW.
She Hides, but not before yelling to the others "fire won't start the fuse; they ignite with soul sacrifice!"
Hal swings with Cervantes and pulls up her Bluetooth shield; she gets a spell slot back.
VS, annoyed at the discourtesy shown to her by Rizzet, reaches for the old chestnut, Immolation. Rizzet doesn't make it: he's now on fire, having taken 30 damage to begin with.
Z13 tries for another Banishment, but Rizzet is Charismatic enough to reject it.
As a Legendary action, Rizzet shivers a little and spawns another five goblins. This fucking guy.
The Noisebard drops a Confusion on this passel of goblins. Rizzet makes it, but the smaller ones don't. It's extremely possible that they will hurt themselves in their Confusion.
Rizzet uses another Legendary action, grabs a tiny goblin, and rips off its head...gaining some health back.
Dron strides onto the dirty underwear and is disgusted: a Lightning later, they reel about in their 24 damage, turning into dust.
Rizzet: still standing. His mullet is completely gone. He's not happy.
Another of the little goblins grabs some dynamite and explodes. And then another one!
Quinn chucks a bola at Rizzet; he's entangled and furious. K drops some caltrops on his upset self, hopeful that his spawned goblins will be inconvenienced by this.
Rizzet attempts to break free with his Legendary action: this does not succeed.
Hal drops an insane amount of damage on him with Improved Divine Smite. An upset Rizzet yanks a small satchel out, gulps down some grey clay...and explodes!
VS drops unconscious. Rizzet is dead.
Hal Lays Hands on VS - 1 point - so she can get back up and Short Rest.
Quinn Investigates the room; he's a lot more simple, so there isn't really a lot. Quinn uses her Mage Hand to investigate under the strewn underpants, finding...a really special comb. There's some kind of magical aura around it.
She Prestidigitates it clean multiple times - just in case - and then motions Z13 over to have a look. A sour Z13 - bald - goes it's just a comb.
He grabs it and strokes a resisting Quinn with it...and suddenly her hair grows really long!
Suddenly we remember that goblins...don't actually have hair.
Quinn remarks that now we're never going to be short on rope. DM explodes with "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO FIND SOME INSANE USE FOR THIS"
Yex, at 16 points, gets Laid Hands on from Hal.
Hal: well looks like you're one of us now, killing folk together, why don't you tell us how you got here?
...I fell into the cave.
Noisebard moved to Daggershead voluntarily - gentrification - and Quinn is somewhat astonished by this.
Turns out he's been following us for the past few days.
HOW?! sputters a stunned Quinn.
Yeah I thought you guys would go through the door, but...I was really agreeing with the other opinions, I just didn't trust, you know...her.
A visibly upset Quinn calms, shrugs, and admits, "fair."
We've basically cleared this entire dungeon for him, we realise.
You guys know the way out? What if I took the magic comb and braided some extended hair and climbed out?
That's a really good idea actually.
Yex contemplates trying out the scythe, but...he, I don't know, quite likes this gentrifying noise bard.
He tries it, multiple times, and now has 40 feet of hair. He tries it on Z13's spider - it works then too!
...it turns out when you cut it, it just...grows back. So Noisebard just has 40 feet of hair now. He's a white half-elf with dreads.
Quinn laughs, and then realises, wait, fuck, that means she has a unicorn forelock that will never go away.
You son of a bitch. Z13 shrugs and says you shouldn't have made fun of me while I was emotionally vulnerable.
Dismissing the spider and resummoning it doesn't change the hair.
It doesn't work on already cut hair.
Z13 wants to leave this bright red magic comb behind, but there's no way on earth we're going to.