It turns out Anigav wants to be called Labia now, but her dad refuses to do so.
We're just going to...hang out in this small pocket dimension until the heat dies down.
Z13 contemplates casting Rope Trick from inside this Rope Trick so he can get out of this sardines jam.
Yex can apparently...harvest bits and pieces from dead bodies into weapons. That's...kind of terrifying.
Z13 Messages Quinn saying hey, the owl thing...don't do that again.
Quinn shrugs.
Hal is awkward, and tries to make some small talk. This space is a little too short for his 6 feet tall frame.
Z13 takes the opportunity to ask if we can go to the genie town after this, because he'd really like to...live...forever...
Hal: after we get Kelfin, sure. And after we get him your fame will live forever, so...
Z13: No, not interested on that. Hal realises his awkwardness again, and Z13 tries in vain to smile.
An hour passes. Quinn sticks her head out, and Mage Hand pries up the barrel a little to peep out a little, while mentally checking if K is nearby.
Yeah, he's been hiding out in a nearby alleyway, freaking out.
A red dragon glides by sedately.
Z13 recommends that we change K, because he's a serious liability at this point.
Yex considers breaking all these barrels around to see if there's any money lying around.
Quinn asks Z13 if K should be dismissed or changed; all terrestial animals are kind of suspect right now, so...probably dismissed?
Wenceslas freaks out and hides in Hal's pack: Hal reassures him that it's okay, we'll see each other soon.
VS is wandering around and tells her dad it's really important that she find her friends...because then she can help them.
She tries to do an autocorrelated random walk - the most efficient way of searching - and sometimes wanders into a building.
Okay, says her dad. Don't die on me. Or else I'll be seeing you in the Nine Hells. Which is okay as well because that's where the extended family is.
VS sees Hal's shock of blond human hair - weird that human was that specified - and grabs him, turning him around.
Hal grabs Cervantes in a start.
Okay, let's go, Z13 says, we got 24 hours to go save LK. Where were you, VS, what happened?
I found my dad!
Holy shit!
He's a demon!
You didn't know which parent was going to be the demon?
Human in the streets...demon in the sheets, am I right?
Hal: blushes. Yex: I don't know what that means. DM: INSPIRATION.
He told me where to find Kelfin...but I don't remember what he said.
We should go meet him, Hal says, convinced that she's met someone who's trying to con her. He didn't ask for money, did he?
No, he's got a really cool sexy...room. Says I could start my own brothel one day.
I'm surprised you haven't done that yet, Z13 says.
Yeah the whole tank thing put a real damper on it.
Off we go to the sex dungeon. Hal recognises the scaliness and horn structure are similar, but aside from that...
Quinn remarks that that's probably who she got the top-heaviness from.
VS introduces everyone, and that's Quinn, secretly a woman!
Oh no, Quinn says, exasperated, tell everyone, it's not a secret or anything.
Where's your bathroom? Z13 demands. Also, hi.
No, I'm a cool dad, Phalikor says, as he firmly shakes everyone's hand with eye contact. Yex firmly shakes hands back; it's not a thing in lizardman culture, so he's been practicing.
Where's Kelfin?
I don't like this one so much, VS says, he keeps staring at my boobs.
I'm gay.
You can still...appreciate.
Phalikor doesn't know how to handle this. He's not sure he likes Z13.
Poring over the map, we see that the farming district is restricted to the slaves and the Gith.
All the slavemasters are Gith, I take it? Z13 asks. This is correct. There's the Kreen, they're slave traders, but they aren't allowed in either.
Z13: is there a sewer system in this city? No, everybody poops in buckets and chucks it over the side. There's a cavern system, but the dragons live there. He does know a way, but he doesn't recommend it.
Yex mentions he's got this scythe to flog to the Kreen, and maybe they can arrange something in return...?
Phalikor: if you get the Kreen to do this they will take all your weaponry. So...
Z13 contemplates the butt focus, but...no, that's what Zorn Prime did, so not for him.
VS mentions that she's already got a butt charm. It doesn't do anything. It's just there.
...okay.
So either we go overland and it's difficult to sneak in because of all the watchtowers, or we go underground and it's difficult to sneak in because of all the, you know, dragons.
The dragons are bound to service with the Gith; we don't know whether voluntarily or not.
Hal asks Phalikor about the caves. It's where they keeps their nests and clutches. Hal: it's their own sex dungeon, eh? Phalikor chuckles and says yeah that's the sex dungeon of those scaly fiends!
He is literally also a scaly fiend.
The Gith pick and choose new dragons to train from the caverns. He explains that the Gith a long time ago fought an Ilithid and kind of explains that they got crushed after that war, and they needed a patron...and they picked Tiamat.
There's an alliance between Gith - the person who liberated the race - and Tiamat, such that the dragons are at the Gith's disposal, as long as the Gith come when the dragons call.
Dispater - the archdemon brokering the deal - took Gith as collateral, and a regent rules in Gith's place. It's been in place for thousands of years.
Vlaakith - the regent - has a staff that controls the dragons. They don't really have a choice, honestly.
...do Gith live forever? VS asks.
In the astral plane, Phalikor says, ageing is reduced dramatically. A thousandfold.
Z13: !!! I could just...live here and live two thousand years?!
Are...you planning to only live two more years?
MY QUEST IS COMPLETE!!!!
Z13 seems really distracted.
Phalikor explains that he grew up in a really nice neighbourhood in the Nine Hells, but he got bored of it and came here to start his own business.
Z13 asks after libraries or bookstores.
Phalikor: I've got a huge library! I'm a big reader; a huge reader!
VS looks...ashamed.
Z13: I don't think his books are any good. I want to go to the market. They're trash books! To the market!
Hal: excuse my friend, he's had a really long day.
I can smell that he's got a weak soul, yeah...
No such thing! Z13 cheerfully yells back.
Yeah it's all fiction.
Yex wants to find a shady looking Kreen to sell the scythe to. Quinn goes along, to sell the Water Pearls.
Before we head out, Quinn Comprehends Languages.
Yex puffs himself up to look tough. A very sketchy bug man is clearly counting his Ethereum, pawning off a couple of slaves as we approach.
Yex strides lizardmanfully up to him; I'm looking for magical items.
Oh, magical items! I've got some great magical items, he clicks along in his Kreen language.
Everybody has creepy bug noises.
You got anything for...dragons?
I got just the thing for you: it's a +1 dagger.
Quinn pulls out Shard and gesticulates with it. You're kidding, right?
It's actually a...+3 dagger.
Quinn points Shard at him: you're kidding, right?
Listen, I don't know, I don't need to be selling you daggers.
Quinn holds up her thigh, with an entire brace of throwing daggers strapped to it: you're kidding, right.
A dragon flies by - you want to be starting something, buddy, the Kreen says.
Ignore my ignorant friend, Yex says, we're really after information. How would we get through the caverns?
You wouldn't, he says, you'd be stupid if you thought otherwise.
You must know something, Quinn asks. How would you do it?
You wanna know how I would do it? I would dress up as slaves...and let me sell you to them.
...
smash cut: Hal and Z13 are looking for a bookstore. There's an Efriti - a being of flame - in the middle of an unkempt bookstore. There's a slave who wanders around with a pot of hot water to keep the humidity in check. It's not great for the books.
We want a map of the caverns...can we get those?
Those maps would be very expensive...
And we are rich!
...and very illegal.
...but you do have them.
If you asked correctly, sure.
Are these the right questions, Z13 asks, holding up his sack of gold.
What are those, the Efriti asks.
Ah, hell. Not Ethereum. What about...this? Z13 asks, holding up his Cloak of Spell Resistance.
A look of avarice enters the Efriti's eye.
I also couldn't help but notice that the humidity here is kind of fucked up!
Yeah, it's my biology, the Efriti says, you understand?
See, I used to work for my King in a similar field, and why don't I take care of that for you?
He casts Prestidigitation to chill the air and pull the humidity out of the air.
You'd work for me...permanently? Would I have to pay you?
Yes! Subsistence wages only. This slave, you could just eat him.
The Efriti takes the offer - get the fuck out, Efriti yells at the slave. I'll give you his old quarters.
Well I got the maps, the trade still happens. Don't die, okay, guys, because that is the worst. That is the literal worst that could happen.
VS sobs her farewell to Z13: I'm going to miss you!
Hal keeps talking to Z13 as if he's going to come with us, he's not getting it.
No, Z13 insists, I'm staying here. It's dangerous down there.
But we've faced so much danger already -
The only reason I faced that was so I could learn Wish and clearly I don't need that anymore.
What, Hal asks, am I to tell the others?
I found employment!
You're not going to help Kelfin?
Nope!
What about your gold, VS asks. No, I'll need it, Z13 asks.
Hal starts for a handshake, but then tries for a hug - Z13 is okay with this because he's gay and Hal's hot.
Hal is oblivious.
Z13 attempts to maximise bodily contact and length; Hal is convinced utterly that it's only platonic.
Tell Quinn not to fuck up anymore, Z13 says.
You know I can't do that, but for you I will.
We'll try to come back to see you after we get Kelfin.
You don't have to.
Oh, we will.
You really don't.
Quinn wonders if we could clear the caverns by faking an attack on the Hall of Whispers, where Vlaakith lives, so that the Gith would commit all their reserves.
They rejoin the group: VS says Z13 left. Hal says brightly, he got a job!
What do you mean he got a job, ain't he a wizard, Yex asks, can't he just conjure things into being, what's he need a job for?
Hal: he basically...he was going to die after two years, and once he figured out that he wasn't going to die here, he achieved his dream and found a new one, working in a bookshop, maintaining the humidity of the bookshop.
You're telling me he's going to spend the rest of eternity reading books?!
No, maintaining the humidity of the books.
That's even worse!
Well he got us the maps.
That's alright, I guess.
Hal also mentions the Cloak but you know what, that was his dream, he was really into books the whole time, I think...he's going to be happy, and after we get Kelfin we can go visit.
You do realise, Quinn haltingly states, that after we get Kelfin (uh huh)...we'll be criminals (uh huh!)...and will have to run away (yep!)...very quickly.
Yeah, it'll be fine, we'll get out, we may not be able to go visit Zorn and his perfectly dry books -
- I don't want to go visit him! VS cries petulantly.