Its that time again...

[deadlanguage]

This is a chapter in what will hopefully become a book. This is chapter one of the second story. I would really love some feedback if you have the chance. Like before this is a rough draft, so on, so forth. Please feel free to constructively criticize. I know its flawed, I just want to get more than my own opinion so I can have some sense of

Comments

[koreaz]

i love how you can paint beautiful images and feelings with dense words. i'm bad at commenting on stuff but i'll just say i disagree with the first bit not contributing, i think it adds at the least an interesting lead in tieing into history. but then agian i'm a sucker for thick words that may or may not have any other point than to dance in my head for a moment and add another layer... life is dense it's hard to bring that across sometimes without writing a 1000 page book containing geneology or horses, but i think you do it beautifly.

[kikirica]

(you weren't supposed to be deleted off my friends list. srry.<--canadian 'sorry')