...I thought I'd lost it all.

I don't want this to happen again. I think I will take it as a sign to keep writing.

Valid or not, I'm going to let myself think that.

So I'm awake, alive, all good.
I'm still tired, I'm sick.
10:30am on Sunday.
I don't know what to do.
Want to go, nowhere.
Run ep run.
My movie has no soundtrack.
My room is a hum.
My walls are white.
No substance.
There is nothing (everything) to say.
You sleep.
I'm jealous.
Role reversal.
A colour is lacking...
...colour should not be underlined.

I did have a good day. 
I still came home and just broke down.
Whenever I actually get to be alone I break down.  I get introspective.  I am rarely happy in my "me" time.
That's the only time that I can step back and see everything and wonder what the fuck I'm doing, or why I'm doing it, or how it's going to get done.

And that's overwhelming.

This is therapy.
This is what I need more than anything else in life.
I need to focus, I need to get back into this, I need to follow what should be a passion...
I need a passion.  
I need PASSION in general even.
Welcome back.

 Clearly that was a dream, back in June.

Though now that I have become so lethargic regarding anything socially popular...

To the point where it becomes physically painful to even bother...

Ah fuck, doesn't matter.  Here's hoping my thoughts, at least, can make it out.

i am bored of all the useless shit that took me away from here ( Read more... )

It seems almost wrong to be here.

I think I have ties to old times here.

And I think it's part of why I don't come here.

I think I've moved on from here.

Bren.

Franz's sophmore didn't suck.

Seems to me that I am really irritable lately, but mostly only at work.  Home isn't so bad, but work...man.

Stupid little things are getting to me.  Like, I answer the phone, and always say "Erin Speaking."

And then someone says "Is this so and so?"  And I say, no this is Erin, one moment, I'll transfer you.

Like, they might as well say, Oh, is this ( Read more... )

Well I've been neglecting Livejournal ( Read more... )