Chapter Twenty-Nine -- The Lost Diadem
Today's chapter was team-sporked by quinby and minkhollow.
***
In which JKR crams the book we all wanted to be reading into half a chapter, the DA's remnants have out-thought the Trio, and Ravenclaw has the best common room ever.
Chapter Twenty-Nine -- The Lost Diadem
Good morning, ladies and gents, and welcome to Neville Longbottom and the Year from Hell, otherwise known as The Book That Should Have Been.
This chapter is, in many ways, the most frustrating chapter in the entire frelling book. Why, might you ask? Simple. This is what we -should- have been reading and hearing about instead of the Camping Trip of Doom. Come on, Jo. We don't need to re-hash Two Towers. (Frodo, Sam and Gollum.... Frodo, Sam, and Gollum... oh look! It's a Gondorian! ... Frodo, Sam, and Gollum.... Pity we already had 'OH GOD IT'S A GIANT SPIDER RUUUUUUUUN' in Book 2.)
That being said, Rowling is actually doing something that I thought she'd stopped way back in book five or so. When she begun the series, she had a lovely ability to hint that things were deeper, wider, and more intense than she actually said. That came out in this chapter stronger than it has in a while. She knows what happened, but why the frell couldn't she just tell us? Who knows.
Now, however, it's details time. The chapter starts with Neville appearing out of a portrait and looking like something out of a horror film. Pleasantries are exchanged, Aberforth is snarky (partly about the Trio's ability to keep themselves alive), and Neville leads the Trio into the new Super-Sekrit Passage (TM) into Hogwarts. Along the way, he gives the Trio a plotdump about life at Hogwarts, and nearly everyone reading the book tears their hair out, as Life During Wartime > Nature Trail to Hell (only in 2-D at the moment, but if they IMAX this film as well...).
But they've used you as a knife sharpener
So the Carrows have forgotten they're wizards as well, apparently. I'd have thought they could bully people with spells just as effectively.
Luna sending a message to Neville really is adorable. Yes, I somewhat ship them. They really would be good for each other. (Also, Neville's grandmother kicking ass would've been awesome to...you know, actually read about.)
Note to JKR: We are not so dense as to need a suspense buildup before you tell us Neville's been living in the Room of Requirement. The two books before this established the Room's qualities well enough that we can guess where he'd be hiding and still on campus, especially with the likelihood and reality of others needing to hide. In any case, once they get there, the Trio get a hearty welcome, and everyone asks what they've been up to all this time. No, guys, don't ask. You'll find yourselves wondering if that was really all there was.
"...I went through it and met Aberforth. He's been providing us with food, because for some reason, that's the one thing the room doesn't really do."
"Yeah, well, food's one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration," said Ron to general astonishment.
Um. Ron? Props on the knowledge, but this is the wrong time. Stop sounding like your girlfriend Hermione. We're reminded for the fourth or so time that the Trio broke into the bank and got away on a dragon. (Jo, this isn't Short Attention Span Theatre. We remember what happened three chapters ago, honest.) Harry has a bout of VoldieVision, conveniently reminding him there's a Horcrux to find in the building; the DA assumes Harry's going to lead them in Glorious Hijinks, and offer to help with whatever he's there to do.
And...there we are doing it alone again. Lovely, Harry. Perhaps help would actually...oh, I don't know, help? Also, I really don't see why being so secretive about your Mission From Glod Dumbledore is really all that necessary. Surely it wouldn't hurt to tell the DA what's going on; at the very least, Neville's as bound to this prophecy business as Harry is. (Thank you, Neville, for making that selfsame point.) But here I go forgetting this is Rowlingland again.
Anyway, more people start trickling in, having got the word on the old DA Galleons (amazing how well the charm's held up, isn't it?). Everyone's still expecting a big fight; Ron protests that the Trio's going to be Very Very Quiet, but for the Greater Good (the Greater Good!), and that goes over like a lead balloon. Good to know someone in this madhouse is still showing some sense.
Ginny gave Harry a radiant smile: he had forgotten, or never fully appreciated, how beautiful she was, but he had never been less pleased to see her.
HARRY. This is -not- the time for hormones. Keep it down, boy.
Harry's mouth fell open. Right behind Lee Jordan came Harry's old girlfriend, Cho Chang.
...Particularly what sounds like hormones DIRECTED AT YOUR EX. It's a wonder Ginny didn't catch on then, considering how venomous she gets over the 'who's leading Harry to the common room?' thing.
Ron and Hermione finally convince Harry he doesn't have to figure out his Mission From Glod alone - though he still doesn't plan on telling people exactly what all the rush is about. The Ravenclaws in the room go through a bout of Cat Macroese almost by necessity ('lost diadem is lost!'). Cho offers a visual aid, despite the likelihood the genuine article's long gone, though Ginny's possessiveness leaves Luna giving the directions. (Me, I'd have had one of the guys do it, if I were that concerned about my boyfriend being stolen.)
I love the riddles for the Ravenclaw dorm. For once, Rowling does it right. The phoenix and flame metaphors are rather apropos because of all of the coming out of nowhere everyone is doing lately. (And, well, phoenixes are always lovely.)
And...sheesh. Lovely common room. Mmmmm.
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure". Now there's a double entendre. Wit could just be knowledge, or it could be 'wit', as in a witty joke. Hmmmm. Could explain the quizzical look on the statue.
Harry then proves why the Hat didn't even consider putting him in Ravenclaw:
Harry stepped out from under the Cloak and climbed up onto Ravenclaw's plinth
Yes, leaving Luna under the Cloak protects her - which is more thought than the Trio spared her back at Xeno's house. But really, Harry, PEOPLE ARE AFTER YOUR ASS TOO. Frankly, if a Death Eater hadn't popped up after that moment of stupidity, I would have been upset.
Ms. Carrow activates her Dark Mark (...no, brain, she and her brother are NOT the Wonder Twins, MAKE IT STOP), and the chapter ends there, on something more closely resembling a cliffhanger than what we got before Story Time and Betrayal With Xeno. Returning to the Two Towers comparison, perhaps this covers 'OH GOD IT'S A GIANT SPIDER RUUUUUUUUUUUUN.'
***
In which JKR crams the book we all wanted to be reading into half a chapter, the DA's remnants have out-thought the Trio, and Ravenclaw has the best common room ever.
Chapter Twenty-Nine -- The Lost Diadem
Good morning, ladies and gents, and welcome to Neville Longbottom and the Year from Hell, otherwise known as The Book That Should Have Been.
This chapter is, in many ways, the most frustrating chapter in the entire frelling book. Why, might you ask? Simple. This is what we -should- have been reading and hearing about instead of the Camping Trip of Doom. Come on, Jo. We don't need to re-hash Two Towers. (Frodo, Sam and Gollum.... Frodo, Sam, and Gollum... oh look! It's a Gondorian! ... Frodo, Sam, and Gollum.... Pity we already had 'OH GOD IT'S A GIANT SPIDER RUUUUUUUUN' in Book 2.)
That being said, Rowling is actually doing something that I thought she'd stopped way back in book five or so. When she begun the series, she had a lovely ability to hint that things were deeper, wider, and more intense than she actually said. That came out in this chapter stronger than it has in a while. She knows what happened, but why the frell couldn't she just tell us? Who knows.
Now, however, it's details time. The chapter starts with Neville appearing out of a portrait and looking like something out of a horror film. Pleasantries are exchanged, Aberforth is snarky (partly about the Trio's ability to keep themselves alive), and Neville leads the Trio into the new Super-Sekrit Passage (TM) into Hogwarts. Along the way, he gives the Trio a plotdump about life at Hogwarts, and nearly everyone reading the book tears their hair out, as Life During Wartime > Nature Trail to Hell (only in 2-D at the moment, but if they IMAX this film as well...).
But they've used you as a knife sharpener
So the Carrows have forgotten they're wizards as well, apparently. I'd have thought they could bully people with spells just as effectively.
Luna sending a message to Neville really is adorable. Yes, I somewhat ship them. They really would be good for each other. (Also, Neville's grandmother kicking ass would've been awesome to...you know, actually read about.)
Note to JKR: We are not so dense as to need a suspense buildup before you tell us Neville's been living in the Room of Requirement. The two books before this established the Room's qualities well enough that we can guess where he'd be hiding and still on campus, especially with the likelihood and reality of others needing to hide. In any case, once they get there, the Trio get a hearty welcome, and everyone asks what they've been up to all this time. No, guys, don't ask. You'll find yourselves wondering if that was really all there was.
"...I went through it and met Aberforth. He's been providing us with food, because for some reason, that's the one thing the room doesn't really do."
"Yeah, well, food's one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration," said Ron to general astonishment.
Um. Ron? Props on the knowledge, but this is the wrong time. Stop sounding like your girlfriend Hermione. We're reminded for the fourth or so time that the Trio broke into the bank and got away on a dragon. (Jo, this isn't Short Attention Span Theatre. We remember what happened three chapters ago, honest.) Harry has a bout of VoldieVision, conveniently reminding him there's a Horcrux to find in the building; the DA assumes Harry's going to lead them in Glorious Hijinks, and offer to help with whatever he's there to do.
And...there we are doing it alone again. Lovely, Harry. Perhaps help would actually...oh, I don't know, help? Also, I really don't see why being so secretive about your Mission From Glod Dumbledore is really all that necessary. Surely it wouldn't hurt to tell the DA what's going on; at the very least, Neville's as bound to this prophecy business as Harry is. (Thank you, Neville, for making that selfsame point.) But here I go forgetting this is Rowlingland again.
Anyway, more people start trickling in, having got the word on the old DA Galleons (amazing how well the charm's held up, isn't it?). Everyone's still expecting a big fight; Ron protests that the Trio's going to be Very Very Quiet, but for the Greater Good (the Greater Good!), and that goes over like a lead balloon. Good to know someone in this madhouse is still showing some sense.
Ginny gave Harry a radiant smile: he had forgotten, or never fully appreciated, how beautiful she was, but he had never been less pleased to see her.
HARRY. This is -not- the time for hormones. Keep it down, boy.
Harry's mouth fell open. Right behind Lee Jordan came Harry's old girlfriend, Cho Chang.
...Particularly what sounds like hormones DIRECTED AT YOUR EX. It's a wonder Ginny didn't catch on then, considering how venomous she gets over the 'who's leading Harry to the common room?' thing.
Ron and Hermione finally convince Harry he doesn't have to figure out his Mission From Glod alone - though he still doesn't plan on telling people exactly what all the rush is about. The Ravenclaws in the room go through a bout of Cat Macroese almost by necessity ('lost diadem is lost!'). Cho offers a visual aid, despite the likelihood the genuine article's long gone, though Ginny's possessiveness leaves Luna giving the directions. (Me, I'd have had one of the guys do it, if I were that concerned about my boyfriend being stolen.)
I love the riddles for the Ravenclaw dorm. For once, Rowling does it right. The phoenix and flame metaphors are rather apropos because of all of the coming out of nowhere everyone is doing lately. (And, well, phoenixes are always lovely.)
And...sheesh. Lovely common room. Mmmmm.
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure". Now there's a double entendre. Wit could just be knowledge, or it could be 'wit', as in a witty joke. Hmmmm. Could explain the quizzical look on the statue.
Harry then proves why the Hat didn't even consider putting him in Ravenclaw:
Harry stepped out from under the Cloak and climbed up onto Ravenclaw's plinth
Yes, leaving Luna under the Cloak protects her - which is more thought than the Trio spared her back at Xeno's house. But really, Harry, PEOPLE ARE AFTER YOUR ASS TOO. Frankly, if a Death Eater hadn't popped up after that moment of stupidity, I would have been upset.
Ms. Carrow activates her Dark Mark (...no, brain, she and her brother are NOT the Wonder Twins, MAKE IT STOP), and the chapter ends there, on something more closely resembling a cliffhanger than what we got before Story Time and Betrayal With Xeno. Returning to the Two Towers comparison, perhaps this covers 'OH GOD IT'S A GIANT SPIDER RUUUUUUUUUUUUN.'