Chapter 22 --The Deathly Hallows
Once again, we have smurasaki as today's sporker.
***
In which I wonder once again why the series isn’t “Hermione Granger and the…,” Harry turns into Gollum, and the Trio is captured in the stupidest way imaginable.
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows
Hermione secures the field into which she Apparated the three of them. Ron, ever helpful, complains, and Harry apparently stands around with his mouth open. He certainly doesn’t work up enough mental function to even complain, much less do anything useful. Hermione is capable of thinking under pressure and simultaneously casting protection spells and carrying on a conversation, but Harry is the savior of the Wizarding World? *headdesk*
Hermione explains that she hid Ron to save his parents, revealed Harry to save Lovegood, and wasn’t worried about her parents because they’re in Australia. Just in case the boys had forgotten. Though, with globe-trotting Voldie, I’m not sure why Hermione is so convinced her parents, Memory Charmed or not, are safe in Australia. Voldie and the Death Eaters like killing Muggles. What would keep them from killing her parents just to get at her? Oh, wait, I’m using logic. Silly me.
The trio worries about Luna for a third of a page and then they forget about her. This is not good; Harry’s lack of empathy is catching. Then again, we can’t have anything distracting them from the exciting task of wandering in the woods. And we have really important things for them to think about instead, like whether or not the Deathly Hallows are real.
Hermione, for some unexplained reason, really, really doesn’t want them to be. “He probably doesn’t believe in the Deathly Hallows at all, (she says of Lovegood) he just wanted to keep us talking until the Death Eaters arrived!”
Um, Hermione, dear, the man is a kook. He believes in all manner of things you don’t. Why would his belief in the Deathly Hallows have any bearing on whether or not they’re real? Which is, of course, her response to Ron pointing out that Lovegood probably does believe in the Hallows. Oh, the intellectual discourse in this book.
Hermione keeps dismissing the idea that the Hallows could be real, while Ron and Harry argue that they could be. Frankly, in a magical world, the possibility doesn’t seem as off the deep end as Hermione thinks. I mean, they have been spending all that time hunting for talking about fragments of Voldie’s soul. What’s so shocking about the Deathly Hallows? Doesn’t she know the title of the book?
I’d think more of Hermione arguing against the Hallows usefulness than their existence, but that’s too sensible for this book. You want an “unbeatable” wand, even though all of its prior owners died violent deaths? Aren’t you in enough danger already? And what good is a stone that sort of brings people back?
Of course, since Harry seems to want the latter, he semi-changes the subject. “So that Peverell bloke who’s buried in Godric’s Hollows,” he said hastily, trying to sound robustly sane. If you have to try, Harry, perhaps you should worry.
Hermione, font of all knowledge, tells him that the Peverells are an old pure-blood family whose name has died out. Harry gets excited, remembering that Marvolo Gaunt claimed to be descended from the Peverells. Not only that, but: “The ring, the ring that became the Horcrux, Marvolo Gaunt said it had the Peverell coat of arms on it!”
Ron wonders whether the coat of arms could be the sign of the Hallows, and Harry eagerly agrees: “What if it was the Resurrection Stone?” Ron, in a remarkable attack of sense, wonders if it would still work if Dumbledore broke it. Hermione has another fit about whether the Hallows could be real and tells Harry he’s trying to make everything fit the story.
“It fits of its own accord! I know the sign of the Deathly Hallows was on that stone! Gaunt said he was descended from the Peverells!”
Harry fails at logic. People claim to be descended of people all the time without it being true. As Hermione points out, he never saw the mark on the stone properly. And, of course, Ron had a good point. Even if the stone was the Resurrection Stone, would it still work after having been first Horcruxed by Voldie, then broken by Dumbledore? I could have sworn de-Horcruxing things was supposed to destroy them. Oh. Damn. I’m using logic again. And expecting consistency. Never mind.
Harry fantasizes about possessing the Hallows, or, given the way he’s thinking, perhaps that should be about the Hallows possessing him …he saw himself, possessor of the Hallows, facing Voldemort, whose Horcruxes were no match…Neither can live while the other survives. … Was this the answer? Hallows versus Horcruxes? Um, Harry, the Horcruxes aren’t weapons, and if your mission succeeds, Voldie won’t have any left. In fact, only one of the Hallows is a weapon, and Voldie may well be trying to get his hands on it. But you haven’t realized this yet, you’re busy fondling your Invisibility Cloak.
He had never seen anything to equal it in his nearly seven years in the Wizarding world. The Cloak was exactly what Xenophilius had described: A cloak that really and truly renders the wearer completely invisible, and endures eternally, giving constant and impenetrable concealment, no matter what spells are cast at it…
Okay. Not only has Harry lost his marbles, he’s lost his memory. Or we’re supposed to believe that the Hallows Cloak is only effective against spells specifically and not, say Mad-Eye Moody’s eye. For that matter, I could have sworn that Dumbledore and/or Snape saw through the cloak in the early, competently written and edited books. Actually, forget about all of them, a bloody snake saw through the cloak a few chapters back. Harry’s cloak is very definitely not the Cloak. But I’m wasting my breath arguing with someone who’s rapidly going off the deep end.
Harry was walking blindly around the tent, feeling as though great new vistas of truth were opening all around him. “He’s my ancestor! I’m descended from the third brother! It all makes sense!”
Right. No one unrelated to you could possibly be buried in the same graveyard as your parents. I’ve heard of jumping to conclusions, but this takes the cake. And, no, Dumbledore having borrowed the cloak from James doesn’t help. There are any number of reasons he might have wanted to borrow the cloak (including that he thought it was one of the Hallows, which is not at all the same as it being one of the Hallows), starting with James not being the most sensible of wizards. Dumbledore might simply have wanted to make sure the man stayed put in Godric’s Hollow.
Ron and Hermione are a little taken aback by crazy!Harry. But instead of calming down, Harry pulls out his mother’s letter as “proof” then holds up the Snitch and shouts: “IT’S IN HERE! He left me the ring - it’s in the Snitch!”
Nope, not at all mad, mad, mad there Harry. And I’m so glad you think it’s a good thing Dumbledore left you a broken ex-Horcrux that might have been a Hallow. Oh, wait, silly me, if Dumbles thinks it, it is so. Can’t forget that. *headdesk*
But Harry’s manic episode ends when he realizes that Voldie is after the Elder Wand. Then he decides there’s still hope because Voldie couldn’t possibly know that the Elder Wand is the Elder Wand. He just knows it’s powerful. Well, that makes it all better, then.
“This is it,” Harry said, trying to bring them inside the glow of his own astonished certainty. “This explains everything.”
Hermione isn’t convinced by Harry’s lines of reasoning. And this time, I don’t blame her one bit. The boy has lost it. She tries to bring him back to reality by asking why Dumbledore wouldn’t simply have told him about the Hallows. Never mind that Dumbledore never told anyone anything. Which, of course, is Harry’s comeback.
“Dumbledore usually let me find out stuff for myself. He let me try my strength, take risks. This feels like the kind of thing he’d do.”
I can’t argue with that. I can, once again, wonder whose side Dumbledore is on, however. I mean, really. Harry’s ability to figure things out has gone steadily downhill over his years at Hogwarts. First year Harry might have been able to follow Dumbledore’s clever clues, but, by now, I’m not sure Harry could figure out a grocery list. Then again, Dumbledore didn’t actually leave any clever clues. A Snitch that should, by all that’s sensible, be cued to Oliver Wood. A book of nursery rhymes with a symbol in it that magically led them to Lovegood. These are not clues. Clues do not require retcons or characters miraculously choosing to talk to the right person for information. And yet, Harry manages to figure out this entire complex, insane sounding mess…which happens to be right? Can I unleash the Caps Lock of Rage on this book now? Please?
Hem. Where was I? Oh, yes, Hermione objects to Harry’s plans.
“Harry, this isn’t a game, this isn’t practice! This is the real thing, and Dumbledore left you very clear instructions: Find and destroy the Horcruxes!”
And the other times that Dumbledore let them stumble around in the dark weren’t the real thing? Granted, they often were in the dark because they weren’t supposed to be involved, but that does in Harry’s argument about Dumbledore “letting” him discover things on his own. Oh, there’s so much stupid here, I hardly know where to begin.
Ron halfheartedly agrees with Hermione, which is good enough for her, and she considers the issue closed. Harry can’t sleep that night because the idea of the Deathly Hallows had taken possession of him. He wants the stone so he can ask Dumbledore why he can’t have the stone now. He even goes so far as to wish he could see Voldie’s thoughts because for the first time ever, he and Voldemort were united in wanting the very same thing. This is not good. Our hero has officially hopped on the train to crazy town.
He thinks briefly about Luna, and how he wishes they could rescue her. But that only leads back to him wanting the Elder Wand. Wow, way to care about your friend there, Harry. “If only we could rescue her. Oooooh, shiny unbeatable wand!”
Harry refers to Hermione and Ron’s interest in Horcruxes as an obsession, which upsets Hermione.
“We’re not the ones with an obsession, Harry! We’re the ones trying to do what Dumbledore wanted us to do!”
But he was impervious to the veiled criticism.
Veiled? Pointing out you have an obsession is a veiled criticism? What would a direct criticism be? Oh, wait, this is from the point of view of someone with only slightly more mental stability than Gollum. Honestly, I kept waiting for him to call the Snitch “my precious” and start talking to himself. But Harry merely takes to slinking off to try and share minds with Voldie. Not that this is a vast improvement.
While Harry turns into Gollum, Ron has taken charge of Horcrux hunting. This hunt amounts to running randomly about England. The Trio discusses Diagon Alley, Hogwarts, the Riddle House, Borgin and Burkes, Albania, every place that they knew Tom Riddle had ever lived or worked, visited or murdered, but they don’t check these places. They check places like Upper Flagley where Voldie might have wanted to live. Bwuh? Oh, right, logic…this book. *sigh*
Ron is also still trying to tune in Potterwatch, the resistance radio station. We never do get an explanation of how the whole password thing works, or even why the only [program] that tells the truth about what’s going on wouldn’t want as many people as possible to hear that truth, but Ron does eventually tune it in with the password of “Albus.”
Which no Death Eater would ever guess. *headdesk*
As it turns out, The Trio catches the first Potterwatch after its absence from the air “due to a number of house calls in [the] area by those charming Death Eaters.” Like the Order, Potterwatch has missed it’s lessons. I’m pretty sure if you want to run a resistance radio station, you have a station that moves around, not a password protected broadcast that moves around. That way you avoid getting caught and you reach the masses. In the Wizarding World, however… *headdesk*
Lee (codename: River) Jordan, the Potterwatch host, fills the listeners (all three of them?) in on the latest deaths. Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, and Gornuk have been killed, and the body of Bathilda Bagshot has been found. Dean Thomas and an unnamed goblin are missing. A Muggle family has also been killed.
“Muggle authorities are attributing the deaths to a gas leak, but members of the Order of the Phoenix inform me that it was the Killing Curse.” Absent an explosion, death from a “gas leak” is usually death from carbon monoxide poisoning. Unless the Killing Curse results in elevated blood CO2 levels, the Muggle authorities would not attribute their deaths to CO2 poisoning. Contrary to the Wizarding World’s belief, Muggles actually investigate deaths and don’t attribute them to anything without evidence. So, either the Killing Curse causes death by sudden CO2 poisoning or Voldie’s people are being accused of something they didn’t do.
I also found it irritating that the Muggles are also “unnamed.” The goblin, I can understand, what with him being a fugitive and all, but surely the Muggles were named in Muggle news reports and newspapers. Would it kill the Wizarding World to take a look at those?
And, no, it doesn’t help that this is followed by Kingsley (codename: Royal) reporting on the affects of Voldie’s regime on the Muggle World. According to him: “Muggles remain ignorant of the source of their suffering as they continue to sustain heavy casualties.” Again, the Muggles would investigate this. Either they are trying to figure out an epidemic of CO2 poisonings, even in impossible situations, which is eventually going to lead to them suspecting terrorists/mass murderers are to blame, or they think there’s a mysterious plague that mimics CO2 poisoning. Either one of these theories should lead to the Muggles taking action that might be a problem for Voldie. But no, according to the Wizarding World, only protective charms could possibly help the Muggles. *headdesk*
On to Lupin (codename: Romulus) … Give me a freaking break! These codenames wouldn’t fool anyone. If you’re going to use blindingly obvious codenames, why bother to use them at all? Are these people members of a secret organization or little boys playing spy?
*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
Okay. I feel better now. Where was I?
Oh, yes. Lupin is confident that Harry Potter is alive. He also wants Harry to “follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.”
Which reminds Ron that he forgot to tell Harry and Hermione that Lupin moved back in with Tonks. Apparently because of the chewing out that Harry gave him. So, he’s grateful? Does this mean he really does love Tonks, or is he going to be all long-suffering for the sake of his as yet unborn child? JKR doesn’t do romance well, but this “romance” really is one of the worst.
Lupin then reminds the listeners that Lovegood was imprisoned, which makes no sense, as it happened some time ago, but if everything that didn’t make sense had been cut from the book, there wouldn’t be a book. He also relays Hagrid’s latest comic relief exploit. *sigh* Hagrid apparently hosted a “Support Harry Potter” party and is now a fugitive.
I’m one of the few people who liked Hagrid, or at least liked the idea of Hagrid. A groundskeeper with a fondness for dangerous animals, not because they’re dangerous, but because he sees the good in them, could be a really interesting character. Sadly, what we got was so-so comic relief.
Finally, Fred (codename: Rodent Rapier [What did he do to get a non-blindingly-obvious codename?]) reports that Voldie is keeping a low profile and might be out of the country. He also makes some not very funny jokes. And Potterwatch signs off, informing listeners that “Mad-Eye” is the next password. No mention of when they’ll be on again, mind you. I really don’t know how this resistance radio program is supposed to work.
Harry gets all excited about Voldie being out of the country. So excited, in fact, that he forgets Voldie’s name is Taboo and says it. Instead of immediately Apparating away or preparing to defend themselves or anything sensible, Ron shouts a lot and Hermione, who’s usually quick to do the right thing, does nothing. (Harry, of course, does nothing as well, but that’s normal for him.)
The Sneakoscope on the table had lit up and begun to spin; they could hear voices coming nearer and nearer: rough excited voices. Ron pulled the Deluminator out of his pocket and clicked it: Their lamps went out.
Took you long enough to react. Why is Ron the only one doing anything? Why didn’t Hermione take the time it took Ron to shout a bit and put out the lights to replace the protective spells? Or Apparate them out of there? Can this book get any stupider?
Yes, yes, it can.
“Come out of there with your hands up!” came a rasping voice through the darkness. “We know you’re in there! You’ve got half a dozen wands pointing at you and we don’t care who we curse!”
Why bother warning them, then? Why not curse first and ask questions later? You are the bad guys, you’re allowed to do that. Hell, given that wizards can Apparate, that would just be good sense. But we’ve already established that sense and logic are forbidden in this book.
I wonder what clever thing plot contrivance our heroes the Trio of idiots will do stumble across to get out of this.
***
In which I wonder once again why the series isn’t “Hermione Granger and the…,” Harry turns into Gollum, and the Trio is captured in the stupidest way imaginable.
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Deathly Hallows
Hermione secures the field into which she Apparated the three of them. Ron, ever helpful, complains, and Harry apparently stands around with his mouth open. He certainly doesn’t work up enough mental function to even complain, much less do anything useful. Hermione is capable of thinking under pressure and simultaneously casting protection spells and carrying on a conversation, but Harry is the savior of the Wizarding World? *headdesk*
Hermione explains that she hid Ron to save his parents, revealed Harry to save Lovegood, and wasn’t worried about her parents because they’re in Australia. Just in case the boys had forgotten. Though, with globe-trotting Voldie, I’m not sure why Hermione is so convinced her parents, Memory Charmed or not, are safe in Australia. Voldie and the Death Eaters like killing Muggles. What would keep them from killing her parents just to get at her? Oh, wait, I’m using logic. Silly me.
The trio worries about Luna for a third of a page and then they forget about her. This is not good; Harry’s lack of empathy is catching. Then again, we can’t have anything distracting them from the exciting task of wandering in the woods. And we have really important things for them to think about instead, like whether or not the Deathly Hallows are real.
Hermione, for some unexplained reason, really, really doesn’t want them to be. “He probably doesn’t believe in the Deathly Hallows at all, (she says of Lovegood) he just wanted to keep us talking until the Death Eaters arrived!”
Um, Hermione, dear, the man is a kook. He believes in all manner of things you don’t. Why would his belief in the Deathly Hallows have any bearing on whether or not they’re real? Which is, of course, her response to Ron pointing out that Lovegood probably does believe in the Hallows. Oh, the intellectual discourse in this book.
Hermione keeps dismissing the idea that the Hallows could be real, while Ron and Harry argue that they could be. Frankly, in a magical world, the possibility doesn’t seem as off the deep end as Hermione thinks. I mean, they have been spending all that time hunting for talking about fragments of Voldie’s soul. What’s so shocking about the Deathly Hallows? Doesn’t she know the title of the book?
I’d think more of Hermione arguing against the Hallows usefulness than their existence, but that’s too sensible for this book. You want an “unbeatable” wand, even though all of its prior owners died violent deaths? Aren’t you in enough danger already? And what good is a stone that sort of brings people back?
Of course, since Harry seems to want the latter, he semi-changes the subject. “So that Peverell bloke who’s buried in Godric’s Hollows,” he said hastily, trying to sound robustly sane. If you have to try, Harry, perhaps you should worry.
Hermione, font of all knowledge, tells him that the Peverells are an old pure-blood family whose name has died out. Harry gets excited, remembering that Marvolo Gaunt claimed to be descended from the Peverells. Not only that, but: “The ring, the ring that became the Horcrux, Marvolo Gaunt said it had the Peverell coat of arms on it!”
Ron wonders whether the coat of arms could be the sign of the Hallows, and Harry eagerly agrees: “What if it was the Resurrection Stone?” Ron, in a remarkable attack of sense, wonders if it would still work if Dumbledore broke it. Hermione has another fit about whether the Hallows could be real and tells Harry he’s trying to make everything fit the story.
“It fits of its own accord! I know the sign of the Deathly Hallows was on that stone! Gaunt said he was descended from the Peverells!”
Harry fails at logic. People claim to be descended of people all the time without it being true. As Hermione points out, he never saw the mark on the stone properly. And, of course, Ron had a good point. Even if the stone was the Resurrection Stone, would it still work after having been first Horcruxed by Voldie, then broken by Dumbledore? I could have sworn de-Horcruxing things was supposed to destroy them. Oh. Damn. I’m using logic again. And expecting consistency. Never mind.
Harry fantasizes about possessing the Hallows, or, given the way he’s thinking, perhaps that should be about the Hallows possessing him …he saw himself, possessor of the Hallows, facing Voldemort, whose Horcruxes were no match…Neither can live while the other survives. … Was this the answer? Hallows versus Horcruxes? Um, Harry, the Horcruxes aren’t weapons, and if your mission succeeds, Voldie won’t have any left. In fact, only one of the Hallows is a weapon, and Voldie may well be trying to get his hands on it. But you haven’t realized this yet, you’re busy fondling your Invisibility Cloak.
He had never seen anything to equal it in his nearly seven years in the Wizarding world. The Cloak was exactly what Xenophilius had described: A cloak that really and truly renders the wearer completely invisible, and endures eternally, giving constant and impenetrable concealment, no matter what spells are cast at it…
Okay. Not only has Harry lost his marbles, he’s lost his memory. Or we’re supposed to believe that the Hallows Cloak is only effective against spells specifically and not, say Mad-Eye Moody’s eye. For that matter, I could have sworn that Dumbledore and/or Snape saw through the cloak in the early, competently written and edited books. Actually, forget about all of them, a bloody snake saw through the cloak a few chapters back. Harry’s cloak is very definitely not the Cloak. But I’m wasting my breath arguing with someone who’s rapidly going off the deep end.
Harry was walking blindly around the tent, feeling as though great new vistas of truth were opening all around him. “He’s my ancestor! I’m descended from the third brother! It all makes sense!”
Right. No one unrelated to you could possibly be buried in the same graveyard as your parents. I’ve heard of jumping to conclusions, but this takes the cake. And, no, Dumbledore having borrowed the cloak from James doesn’t help. There are any number of reasons he might have wanted to borrow the cloak (including that he thought it was one of the Hallows, which is not at all the same as it being one of the Hallows), starting with James not being the most sensible of wizards. Dumbledore might simply have wanted to make sure the man stayed put in Godric’s Hollow.
Ron and Hermione are a little taken aback by crazy!Harry. But instead of calming down, Harry pulls out his mother’s letter as “proof” then holds up the Snitch and shouts: “IT’S IN HERE! He left me the ring - it’s in the Snitch!”
Nope, not at all mad, mad, mad there Harry. And I’m so glad you think it’s a good thing Dumbledore left you a broken ex-Horcrux that might have been a Hallow. Oh, wait, silly me, if Dumbles thinks it, it is so. Can’t forget that. *headdesk*
But Harry’s manic episode ends when he realizes that Voldie is after the Elder Wand. Then he decides there’s still hope because Voldie couldn’t possibly know that the Elder Wand is the Elder Wand. He just knows it’s powerful. Well, that makes it all better, then.
“This is it,” Harry said, trying to bring them inside the glow of his own astonished certainty. “This explains everything.”
Hermione isn’t convinced by Harry’s lines of reasoning. And this time, I don’t blame her one bit. The boy has lost it. She tries to bring him back to reality by asking why Dumbledore wouldn’t simply have told him about the Hallows. Never mind that Dumbledore never told anyone anything. Which, of course, is Harry’s comeback.
“Dumbledore usually let me find out stuff for myself. He let me try my strength, take risks. This feels like the kind of thing he’d do.”
I can’t argue with that. I can, once again, wonder whose side Dumbledore is on, however. I mean, really. Harry’s ability to figure things out has gone steadily downhill over his years at Hogwarts. First year Harry might have been able to follow Dumbledore’s clever clues, but, by now, I’m not sure Harry could figure out a grocery list. Then again, Dumbledore didn’t actually leave any clever clues. A Snitch that should, by all that’s sensible, be cued to Oliver Wood. A book of nursery rhymes with a symbol in it that magically led them to Lovegood. These are not clues. Clues do not require retcons or characters miraculously choosing to talk to the right person for information. And yet, Harry manages to figure out this entire complex, insane sounding mess…which happens to be right? Can I unleash the Caps Lock of Rage on this book now? Please?
Hem. Where was I? Oh, yes, Hermione objects to Harry’s plans.
“Harry, this isn’t a game, this isn’t practice! This is the real thing, and Dumbledore left you very clear instructions: Find and destroy the Horcruxes!”
And the other times that Dumbledore let them stumble around in the dark weren’t the real thing? Granted, they often were in the dark because they weren’t supposed to be involved, but that does in Harry’s argument about Dumbledore “letting” him discover things on his own. Oh, there’s so much stupid here, I hardly know where to begin.
Ron halfheartedly agrees with Hermione, which is good enough for her, and she considers the issue closed. Harry can’t sleep that night because the idea of the Deathly Hallows had taken possession of him. He wants the stone so he can ask Dumbledore why he can’t have the stone now. He even goes so far as to wish he could see Voldie’s thoughts because for the first time ever, he and Voldemort were united in wanting the very same thing. This is not good. Our hero has officially hopped on the train to crazy town.
He thinks briefly about Luna, and how he wishes they could rescue her. But that only leads back to him wanting the Elder Wand. Wow, way to care about your friend there, Harry. “If only we could rescue her. Oooooh, shiny unbeatable wand!”
Harry refers to Hermione and Ron’s interest in Horcruxes as an obsession, which upsets Hermione.
“We’re not the ones with an obsession, Harry! We’re the ones trying to do what Dumbledore wanted us to do!”
But he was impervious to the veiled criticism.
Veiled? Pointing out you have an obsession is a veiled criticism? What would a direct criticism be? Oh, wait, this is from the point of view of someone with only slightly more mental stability than Gollum. Honestly, I kept waiting for him to call the Snitch “my precious” and start talking to himself. But Harry merely takes to slinking off to try and share minds with Voldie. Not that this is a vast improvement.
While Harry turns into Gollum, Ron has taken charge of Horcrux hunting. This hunt amounts to running randomly about England. The Trio discusses Diagon Alley, Hogwarts, the Riddle House, Borgin and Burkes, Albania, every place that they knew Tom Riddle had ever lived or worked, visited or murdered, but they don’t check these places. They check places like Upper Flagley where Voldie might have wanted to live. Bwuh? Oh, right, logic…this book. *sigh*
Ron is also still trying to tune in Potterwatch, the resistance radio station. We never do get an explanation of how the whole password thing works, or even why the only [program] that tells the truth about what’s going on wouldn’t want as many people as possible to hear that truth, but Ron does eventually tune it in with the password of “Albus.”
Which no Death Eater would ever guess. *headdesk*
As it turns out, The Trio catches the first Potterwatch after its absence from the air “due to a number of house calls in [the] area by those charming Death Eaters.” Like the Order, Potterwatch has missed it’s lessons. I’m pretty sure if you want to run a resistance radio station, you have a station that moves around, not a password protected broadcast that moves around. That way you avoid getting caught and you reach the masses. In the Wizarding World, however… *headdesk*
Lee (codename: River) Jordan, the Potterwatch host, fills the listeners (all three of them?) in on the latest deaths. Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, and Gornuk have been killed, and the body of Bathilda Bagshot has been found. Dean Thomas and an unnamed goblin are missing. A Muggle family has also been killed.
“Muggle authorities are attributing the deaths to a gas leak, but members of the Order of the Phoenix inform me that it was the Killing Curse.” Absent an explosion, death from a “gas leak” is usually death from carbon monoxide poisoning. Unless the Killing Curse results in elevated blood CO2 levels, the Muggle authorities would not attribute their deaths to CO2 poisoning. Contrary to the Wizarding World’s belief, Muggles actually investigate deaths and don’t attribute them to anything without evidence. So, either the Killing Curse causes death by sudden CO2 poisoning or Voldie’s people are being accused of something they didn’t do.
I also found it irritating that the Muggles are also “unnamed.” The goblin, I can understand, what with him being a fugitive and all, but surely the Muggles were named in Muggle news reports and newspapers. Would it kill the Wizarding World to take a look at those?
And, no, it doesn’t help that this is followed by Kingsley (codename: Royal) reporting on the affects of Voldie’s regime on the Muggle World. According to him: “Muggles remain ignorant of the source of their suffering as they continue to sustain heavy casualties.” Again, the Muggles would investigate this. Either they are trying to figure out an epidemic of CO2 poisonings, even in impossible situations, which is eventually going to lead to them suspecting terrorists/mass murderers are to blame, or they think there’s a mysterious plague that mimics CO2 poisoning. Either one of these theories should lead to the Muggles taking action that might be a problem for Voldie. But no, according to the Wizarding World, only protective charms could possibly help the Muggles. *headdesk*
On to Lupin (codename: Romulus) … Give me a freaking break! These codenames wouldn’t fool anyone. If you’re going to use blindingly obvious codenames, why bother to use them at all? Are these people members of a secret organization or little boys playing spy?
*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
Okay. I feel better now. Where was I?
Oh, yes. Lupin is confident that Harry Potter is alive. He also wants Harry to “follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.”
Which reminds Ron that he forgot to tell Harry and Hermione that Lupin moved back in with Tonks. Apparently because of the chewing out that Harry gave him. So, he’s grateful? Does this mean he really does love Tonks, or is he going to be all long-suffering for the sake of his as yet unborn child? JKR doesn’t do romance well, but this “romance” really is one of the worst.
Lupin then reminds the listeners that Lovegood was imprisoned, which makes no sense, as it happened some time ago, but if everything that didn’t make sense had been cut from the book, there wouldn’t be a book. He also relays Hagrid’s latest comic relief exploit. *sigh* Hagrid apparently hosted a “Support Harry Potter” party and is now a fugitive.
I’m one of the few people who liked Hagrid, or at least liked the idea of Hagrid. A groundskeeper with a fondness for dangerous animals, not because they’re dangerous, but because he sees the good in them, could be a really interesting character. Sadly, what we got was so-so comic relief.
Finally, Fred (codename: Rodent Rapier [What did he do to get a non-blindingly-obvious codename?]) reports that Voldie is keeping a low profile and might be out of the country. He also makes some not very funny jokes. And Potterwatch signs off, informing listeners that “Mad-Eye” is the next password. No mention of when they’ll be on again, mind you. I really don’t know how this resistance radio program is supposed to work.
Harry gets all excited about Voldie being out of the country. So excited, in fact, that he forgets Voldie’s name is Taboo and says it. Instead of immediately Apparating away or preparing to defend themselves or anything sensible, Ron shouts a lot and Hermione, who’s usually quick to do the right thing, does nothing. (Harry, of course, does nothing as well, but that’s normal for him.)
The Sneakoscope on the table had lit up and begun to spin; they could hear voices coming nearer and nearer: rough excited voices. Ron pulled the Deluminator out of his pocket and clicked it: Their lamps went out.
Took you long enough to react. Why is Ron the only one doing anything? Why didn’t Hermione take the time it took Ron to shout a bit and put out the lights to replace the protective spells? Or Apparate them out of there? Can this book get any stupider?
Yes, yes, it can.
“Come out of there with your hands up!” came a rasping voice through the darkness. “We know you’re in there! You’ve got half a dozen wands pointing at you and we don’t care who we curse!”
Why bother warning them, then? Why not curse first and ask questions later? You are the bad guys, you’re allowed to do that. Hell, given that wizards can Apparate, that would just be good sense. But we’ve already established that sense and logic are forbidden in this book.
I wonder what clever thing plot contrivance our heroes the Trio of idiots will do stumble across to get out of this.