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It's no way to live
The other day Kerry shared her disbelief on how I can work 5 days a week every week. I wonder how I or ANYONE can. How do normal people do this for years and years and years? It boggles my head. I don't think I'm cut out for it. I get so burnt out. I think if I were able to work 6 months and then take a huge break, and then work again, I could do ( Read more... ) -
back to hating my life again...now with legitimate problems!
I can't even think straight most of the time. I used to think the brain fog I had was because I was hungry and having low blood sugar, but I think now it's the "fibro fog". It could be a combination of both. Who knows. I've got so much shit, it's almost a game now to see what disease diagnose I will "collect" next. I have been finally seeing the ( Read more... ) -
So much to say
maybe my life just got too busy, or i just keep getting lazier. hard to make myself write about anything. ive seen seeing a psychiatrist that really only takes my money at her will and prescribes me medicine. but i think maybe the medicine is working (mood stabilizer lamictil), or work is just boring these past 2 weeks. I don't really feel ( Read more... ) -
Work
Being in an open office environment can be strange sometimes. I used to write all the time at work at Lockheed, but I was in a cubicle. So I feel like I can't spend as much time pondering as I used to. Work is going to be interesting coming up. -
Portland life
Hanging out at my friend Kerrys waiting for Chad to pick me up listening to Hesitation Marks ( Read more... ) -
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I am working in the main office again. I also will be working T,W, TH as Facilitator for the indoor walking program. It will be nice to get a little bit of exercise. I guess it sucks that because of the CT schools shooting that they re-hired me to keep an eye on the front office reception...but oh well ( Read more... ) -
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Sitting alone in the dark...chad went to sleep. I need to write more, to sort out what i am feeling. Randy died on xmas eve. i feel like i had to come back to vermont way too soon in the aftermath and im even more depressed than i have been up here. i feel so uncomfortable up here and in my skin i want to cry or beat myself over the head or run ( Read more... ) -
Autumn in Vermont
My drive to work is BEAUTIFUL. It's getting chilly up here; the leaves are changing and there are purple wildflowers everywhere. There are misty mountains in the distance. There are farm vendors on the side of the road selling pumpkins. It looks straight out of a painting; It takes every ounce of self control to not get distracted by the ( Read more... ) -
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Went to Esox tonight and Jps...I am depressed as usual
Mostly due to I feel i am useless and also Chad hasn't been showing me enough affection without me berating him into it.