I think I made an important realization about myself...
It hit me last night around 1 am as I was walking home from Pykälä.
I'm simply not the kind of person who enjoys "partying" (at least not the Finnsh way: getting hammered and not remembering shit in the morning) and no matter what I do or how hard I try, I never will be.
I know the reason too. I don't get drunk like normal people. Sure, I stop walking straight, I stop seeing straight, I start bumping into objects that weren't on way and candies I try to eat don't go into my mouth but hit my cheeks instead. But if you give me something to lean against and keep the candies away, I can talk about global politics or argue about the economical situation and no one would never know I can't stay up without that wall behind my back. I won't start giggling to random things, I won't stop making sense. If I wanted to, no one would never know I have had anything even after hideous amounts of alcohol. Well, as long as they don't make me stand without anything to lean on.
That of course, doesn't automatically mean that I don't have fun in a party. I can have plenty fun, but it just won't be due to alcohol. What I mean is that since being drunk doesn't chance the way I think or act, having or not having fun is determined solely by other factors than the amount of liquor I have consumed. Alcohol doesn't make me have fun in a situation I wouldn't have fun while being sober. How many of you would have fun in a place full of people vomiting, acting like idiots even to the point of being disgusting and totally inappropriate, giggling stupidly at things that aren't funny or even there, and the precious few who are not doing anything of the aforementioned still couldn't have a conversation that makes any sense. Assuming that you were there sober. Yeah, I thought so.
Alcohol doesn't make me "let go" or relax in a situation I wouldn't be relaxed otherwise. That's why I usually don't have fun in a random group of people I hardly know and maybe don't even really like. And that's why I usually do have very much fun with my trusted friends or in a other group of people I know and/or like. With them I can lie back and "let go". With, or without alcohol. So it's not really the "partying" that I don't like. With nice people I can have a great time and whether we are in a nightclub or sprawled around someone's living room in sugar-high doesn't matter.
***
This is something I have come to realize since starting my studies last autumn. I decided to participate in all the student activity I possibly could, thinking that since people seem to have so great time in student parties (or whatever "opiskelijabileet" is in English x_x) I would too, if I just gave it a chance. Seems like I was wrong, though not completely: I have had a good time too, it's not all bad, no matter how the above text made it sound .D I have had a great time in a few parties, and spex (a musical play with singing, dancing and acting that is made completely by university students, usually by a specific faculty) was overall a great experience, including the partying it entailed ^^
I have made many friends, and quite a few I actually like as well 8D I have been maybe a bit too active, at least for someone like myself. I have had to admit defeat and conclude that going into every single party and being involved in every activity your student's association has to offer just is not that easy for everyone, and it can indeed be horribly taxing for an introvert like myself. Too bad I'm too involved now to get out before next year x_x I just have to bear it until then, only 352 days to go. ^^ ...Oh god x_x
I have given myself a permission to not go into every party or other event there is though. My goal was to meet as many people as possible, hopefully get some new friends and on the whole just "be there" and that's quite well accomplished now. I'm going to have to meet a whole bunch of new people by the force of circumstances anyway, so I don't need any additional chores to add to my workload. I'll be completely drained before summer as it is anyway x_x ...I just referred to going to a Pykäläparty as a chore, go me .D (Pykälä is the Helsinki university law student's student organization)
I have managed my studies quite well in the middle of all of this if I say so myself. Though it feels much like playing pac-man, desperately trying to collect all the studypoints on your way .D So far I haven't missed any, assuming I passed that introduction to private law -course... x_x
Well, to end on a bright note, I bring you things that have made me happy lately ^^:
Pretty nails make a vain girl happy ^_^
A combined materialist and aesthetician is easy to make happy. ^^ In theory .D (you don't want to know how many hours I spent so that I'd have perfect calendar and pencil case. But I think it's worth it, now my day gets a bit better every time I take them out of my bag ^^)
Oh yes, I finally have my own computer ♥ ^___^ It's beautiful ♥ I had to give up on maybe a bit too many requirements I had just to get a laptop that pretty, now I just hope this won't break apart too soon or crash frequently because of that ^^;; But at least it's gorgeous ♥ ^____^ (on the importance of beauty of the objects I own, refer to explanation above)
♥
I'm simply not the kind of person who enjoys "partying" (at least not the Finnsh way: getting hammered and not remembering shit in the morning) and no matter what I do or how hard I try, I never will be.
I know the reason too. I don't get drunk like normal people. Sure, I stop walking straight, I stop seeing straight, I start bumping into objects that weren't on way and candies I try to eat don't go into my mouth but hit my cheeks instead. But if you give me something to lean against and keep the candies away, I can talk about global politics or argue about the economical situation and no one would never know I can't stay up without that wall behind my back. I won't start giggling to random things, I won't stop making sense. If I wanted to, no one would never know I have had anything even after hideous amounts of alcohol. Well, as long as they don't make me stand without anything to lean on.
That of course, doesn't automatically mean that I don't have fun in a party. I can have plenty fun, but it just won't be due to alcohol. What I mean is that since being drunk doesn't chance the way I think or act, having or not having fun is determined solely by other factors than the amount of liquor I have consumed. Alcohol doesn't make me have fun in a situation I wouldn't have fun while being sober. How many of you would have fun in a place full of people vomiting, acting like idiots even to the point of being disgusting and totally inappropriate, giggling stupidly at things that aren't funny or even there, and the precious few who are not doing anything of the aforementioned still couldn't have a conversation that makes any sense. Assuming that you were there sober. Yeah, I thought so.
Alcohol doesn't make me "let go" or relax in a situation I wouldn't be relaxed otherwise. That's why I usually don't have fun in a random group of people I hardly know and maybe don't even really like. And that's why I usually do have very much fun with my trusted friends or in a other group of people I know and/or like. With them I can lie back and "let go". With, or without alcohol. So it's not really the "partying" that I don't like. With nice people I can have a great time and whether we are in a nightclub or sprawled around someone's living room in sugar-high doesn't matter.
***
This is something I have come to realize since starting my studies last autumn. I decided to participate in all the student activity I possibly could, thinking that since people seem to have so great time in student parties (or whatever "opiskelijabileet" is in English x_x) I would too, if I just gave it a chance. Seems like I was wrong, though not completely: I have had a good time too, it's not all bad, no matter how the above text made it sound .D I have had a great time in a few parties, and spex (a musical play with singing, dancing and acting that is made completely by university students, usually by a specific faculty) was overall a great experience, including the partying it entailed ^^
I have made many friends, and quite a few I actually like as well 8D I have been maybe a bit too active, at least for someone like myself. I have had to admit defeat and conclude that going into every single party and being involved in every activity your student's association has to offer just is not that easy for everyone, and it can indeed be horribly taxing for an introvert like myself. Too bad I'm too involved now to get out before next year x_x I just have to bear it until then, only 352 days to go. ^^ ...Oh god x_x
I have given myself a permission to not go into every party or other event there is though. My goal was to meet as many people as possible, hopefully get some new friends and on the whole just "be there" and that's quite well accomplished now. I'm going to have to meet a whole bunch of new people by the force of circumstances anyway, so I don't need any additional chores to add to my workload. I'll be completely drained before summer as it is anyway x_x ...I just referred to going to a Pykäläparty as a chore, go me .D (Pykälä is the Helsinki university law student's student organization)
I have managed my studies quite well in the middle of all of this if I say so myself. Though it feels much like playing pac-man, desperately trying to collect all the studypoints on your way .D So far I haven't missed any, assuming I passed that introduction to private law -course... x_x
Well, to end on a bright note, I bring you things that have made me happy lately ^^:
Pretty nails make a vain girl happy ^_^
A combined materialist and aesthetician is easy to make happy. ^^ In theory .D (you don't want to know how many hours I spent so that I'd have perfect calendar and pencil case. But I think it's worth it, now my day gets a bit better every time I take them out of my bag ^^)
Oh yes, I finally have my own computer ♥ ^___^ It's beautiful ♥ I had to give up on maybe a bit too many requirements I had just to get a laptop that pretty, now I just hope this won't break apart too soon or crash frequently because of that ^^;; But at least it's gorgeous ♥ ^____^ (on the importance of beauty of the objects I own, refer to explanation above)
♥