"By a Thread" - section 5 `Miriam`

[deafield]

Comments

[ladybows_fs]

I remember skimming this a few days ago, thinking "aghghhh???" because I hadn't quite caught on that she was a ghost. I wonder, actually, if this piece could have hinted at conversation/altercation going on between a living and a dead person, but only confirmed somewhere near the end, like when she smacked the chair and sent the point of the pen into his neck. On that note, I'm a little incredulous -- earlier in the scene she can barely hold on to a file, but all she needs is to be riled a bit and can toss chairs and stab with pens: I'd imagine a pen isn't terribly sharp, so it'd need a good shove to go into his body. Perhaps decide whether she is powerful enough or not. I think the power is more exciting, though, especially since I've never heard of a man's dead wife dictating him by trashing up the place. hahah On that note, I love her earlier line about how he'll pace himself into a coffin, and how she doesn't want to end up with him for eternity. He must seem like a looney to anyone who's caught him arguing with her... does he get

[deafield]

This was the most unplanned scene I think I`ve written so far. Trying to figure out Miriam is definitely a challenge. The idea is, she can`t physically do much in the material realm but has gotten reallllllly good at faking it. Like she couldn`t of really hurt Peter with the Pen (though the inking pen are the ones with the really sharp tips from what I remember). I probably will take out the part with him bleeding. Honestly I`m probably gonna rewrite the whole scene over in third person.lol

[ladybows_fs]

Oh, it's no problem at all!

Do you have other characters in this who are dead, or is it just her?

[deafield]

I haven`t quite decided yet. There technically would be many others, but she is probably the main person I would focus on.