Fic: The Ghost of You And I-(Part III)
Clu was many things but perfect was not one of them. Something that frustrated him to no end because how could something as imperfect as him hope to ever achieve perfection? Especially now that he had reintegrated with Flynn.
Worse still was the knowledge that he had to rebuild the grid. It was maddeningly, really, that thousands of cycle’s worth of work had been obliterated in moments for the sake of Flynn’s son and that ISO. Still, on some level, Clu couldn’t help but be excited about the prospect of rebuilding because it meant he could fix any previous errors he found. And he was no longer restricted to what he could and could not do.
Once he was done rebuilding, once he had achieved a satisfactory level of perfection, he planned to finally turn his attention back to the user world. To Sam Flynn and the one ISO that got away.
But, somehow, meeting Alan had altered his plans. Changed them for the better. Or worse as his luck would have it for Alan was proving to be very uncooperative. Annoyingly so.
Leaving the armory had been a chore but that had been in part because the siren’s seemed reluctant to leave Alan-1 in his capable hands, much to his chagrin. It was disgusting how programs that had been loyal to him for thousands of cycles became nothing more than bits when a user was presented to them.
“We can’t allow you to take him.” One of the sirens boldly stated while taking a step forward, one hand reaching out to lightly rest in the crook of Alan’s elbow.
“Oh? And what exactly do you intend to do about it? You three know what happened to Gem as a result of her disobedience toward me, do you not?” Clu asked while quirking his eyebrow, seeming amused that a siren would be so bold as to defy him of all programs.
There was a pause as all three sirens made eye contact. One of the three lingering in the back gave the girl near Alan a nod. “…Yes, we do but still we cannot allow any harm to come to Alan-1, the creator of Tron.”
Clu just smiled at them.
Alan quickly cut in.
“Leave them be, Clu. They are only doing what they think is right. Besides, as much as I would prefer their company to yours, we have much to discuss.” Alan warned while stepping protectively in front of the Siren closest to him. It reminded Clu of how Tron used to hover protectively around Yori.
It was not long after that they left.
Once they were outside the armory, Alan insisted at looking at everything. He studied any object within his sights closely, observing things that Clu would have rather kept hidden. To top it off, Flynn seemed to have been telling the truth about the other User. Alan seemed extremely angry with him and Clu wasn’t quite sure how to deal with the User of Tron who seemed to be difficult to reason with when furious.
So here they stood, out on the empty street not far from where the stadium sat.
“Alan-“ Clu began with a smile on his face but Alan was quick to cut him off with a sharp hand motion. “Don’t. You have no right to refer to me so familiarly, Clu. In fact, it would be preferable if you referred to me by my user name.” It was clear by his tone that this was more of a demand than a request and that immediately caused Clu’s hackles to raise, as he was not used to being challenged so openly by someone else. “It was how those programs below wanted to refer to me, was it not?” Alan asked, eyes sharp as he watched Clu with the same watchful wariness Tron used to.
It was frustrating, how similar Tron was to his user. They both held themselves proudly and their gazes often became hard, defiant even, when they spoke to him. Never did they look at Clu with the same soft look of adoration and affection as they did with Kevin. It was enough to make Clu want to break Alan, break him into a million little pieces.
That was why Clu was going to fix Alan, fix and repurpose him to suit his desires, his needs, because currently Alan-1 was nothing like he wanted. His code was deteriorating, he was too headstrong in his own subtle way, he was just generally imperfect but Clu…he could make him perfect again. He would miss looking into blue eyes bright with deviance. But an obedient red was such a lovely color on Tron and undoubtedly it would be just as stunning in Alan.
In the back of his head, he could hear Kevin yelling at him, banging his fists against the walls of his prison but it was all muffled and thus easily ignored. He could focus entirely on the tense user in front of him. Though he couldn’t help but frown internally at the way Alan was looking at him.
“Where is Tron, Clu? What happened to him?” Alan suddenly demanded, that name interrupting his current train of thought. It took him a second to register that Alan had been speaking to him and that he was only just now catching what the User was talking about.
“Tron?” Clu asked with a smirk. “I would be more worried about your own well-being instead of your programs right now, Alan.” Clu warned while taking special pleasure in saying his name. “After all, Flynn isn’t strong enough to take back control of this body yet, Sam knows not where you are and, currently, the only beings who know you are with me are the sirens and I.” And if Clu’s smirk became a little more smug, it was because he was confident he would achieve his goals whether Alan-1 was a willing participant or not.
What he had not counted on was being slugged a second time, his head snapping to the side.
“Bastard!” Alan growled, teeth bared while the few spots of light on his dark suit turned a bright blue-white.
Staggering back a few steps, Clu stared at Alan with wide incredulous eyes as he brought a hand up to his face. This time when his fingers came away sticky and red, he felt his fascination at the sensation of blood quickly give away to anger. Anger that had long been simmering inside of him, quietly consuming, and now it was overwhelming him because the look Alan was giving him was too much like Tron’s.
And instead of seeing Alan, Clu could only see Tron. Tron who showed his emotions too easily, who seemed to behave more and more like a User than the program he actually was with each passing day.
Tron hesitated and instead of doing everything he was programmed to do, he asked just one thing. “Clu…why?”
Clu threw himself at Tron then. Threw himself at the body that stood before him, not seeing the surprised expression on Alan’s face. He could only see Tron who was angry, hurt, betrayed, and Rinzler who was nothing more than a puppet that did only what he was ordered to do. Two beings that never gave all their love and loyalty to him like they did to Kevin.
This was why; as they crashed to the ground, Alan grunting aloud in pain, that Clu began to punch Alan repeatedly across the face before the other man could properly retaliate. Flynn came back to life then, his internal cries falling on deaf ears while his attempts at physically taking control of his body did little as Clu continued to hit the face in front of him. And Clu would have taken satisfaction in feeling his hands become sticky and slick with blood. But Alan was nothing if not a fighter. He thrashed about, managing to get in a few good hits but Clu seemed unfazed by them, blind to everything but his anger. And even Alan’s unwillingness to passively take a beating seemed to do little more than infuriate Clu.
Alan’s head snapped to the side with one well-placed hit by Clu and he felt himself swallow a tooth, blood slowly dripping onto the street beneath him.
Neither noticed that in the shadow of a broken Recognizer, a pair of eyes was watching them.
Alan managed to bring his arms up to protect his face. But that seemed to do little to deter Clu as the man simply struck his torso. Hard enough that the air was knocked out of Alan’s lungs and he was seeing black spots. It was at that moment that Alan wondered how much longer he would last. His body was only human and no longer was he a young man. He was taking in too much damage and it was slowly beginning to dawn onto him that he might not escape from this. Perhaps he had always known, as soon as he was tackled so violently, that he would not walk away from this. He was brought out of his jumbled thoughts and back to reality when he felt Clu roughly grab a hold of his wrists and drag them over his head, the grip tight enough that he could feel his bones protesting at the harsh treatment.
It was only than that Clu seemed to pause, chest heaving as he tried to clear his mind. He could still only see Tron beneath him, pixels sprayed across the ground while blue eyes stared pleadingly up at him, the side of his face and neck marred by an ugly wound that Clu’s disc had left. Those same blue eyes were looking up at him now except this time there was red staining Tron’s features. Stranger still was how Tron’s face began to age, slowly morphing into Alan’s familiar face. A face that was looking at him helplessly, silently begging him to stop what he was doing. Distantly, Clu thought it odd that Alan stopped struggling around the same time Tron did.
“…Alan…?” Clu finally whispered, blinking in confusion for a moment while he tried to figure out what just happened and why. Was this what Flynn had once referred to as reaching a breaking point? Just thinking about Flynn caused Clu to notice that, for once, his head was silent. Though he could feel Flynn’s anger at him burning in the back of his mind, could feel Flynn watching him from inside. Sitting up, he brought shaky hands to his face. He stared in wonder at his gloves that seemed to glisten faintly in the glow of the grid.
Looking back down at Alan, Clu noticed with no small amount of curiousity that Alan was still struggling, however weakly, against the grip Clu had on his wrists. He also noticed that the User was coughing rather violently, his lips dotted red with blood. His face was already turning a mixture of yellow, purple, and green. It was in that moment that something clicked in Clu’s head and while he still felt anger, he also felt another emotion, one entirely foreign to him, burning in his gut.
And not knowing what to do with all these new feelings, sensations, Clu did what seemed to be the most sensible thing for him to do. He leaned forward and kissed Alan. Kissed him with teeth and a hot tongue that eagerly pushed its way into Alan’s mouth, tasting the copper tang of blood. Greedy hands began to run over every part of Alan, the touches gentle at first but all too soon they became rough as Clu pressed himself down hard against the User’s body, hips rocking against Alan’s with sudden desire. Clu wanted all of Alan, every last piece of him. And Alan was too overwhelmed by the sudden sensations to do anything because the shock and pain were overriding any unwanted pleasure he might have felt.
The fear he had been denying before was now coming back at him full force, old memories of him and Kevin doing this swarming his mind. His stomach lurched violently at the comparison and for a moment, Alan feared he would be sick. Quickly closing his eyes, he tried to calm his mind. If he avoided looking at Clu than he could pretend that this wasn’t Kevin…or could he pretend it was?
That line of thought was enough to cause Alan to force himself to open his eyes and look up into the face of Kevin Flynn, of Clu. No matter what, it seemed that Kevin was everywhere. That he was inescapable.
Clu seemed not to notice how unresponsive Alan was being. He too was overwhelmed by the lust he felt for Alan, for Tron. Or was it really Flynn’s desire he was currently feeling for them both?
It was than that he pulled his mouth away from Alan’s. With a smile beginning to play across his lips, Clu noticed that Alan’s lips were red. He couldn’t help but be satisfied with the fact that he had done this to Alan. Reaching out, he lovingly caressed Alan’s cheek and watched the way Alan seemed to be gasping for air.
Alan was quick to ruin the moment as he brought an arm that he had managed to free up to Clu’s chest. He weakly pushed it against Clu, trying to get him off.
“Kevin…please, don’t do this…”
“Clu…Don’t do this…” That same voice whispered in his ear though he could only see broken code.
Blue eyes were again staring pleadingly at him but Clu could see in their depths the anger, the betrayal that lingered there. That was enough to cause his temper to flare again but what did him in was that name, the name of Kevin Flynn, and not Clu, that came out of Alan’s mouth. He felt a mixture of despair and rage that was not entirely his own. Body trembling, Clu could almost taste the fear that Flynn was feeling as Kevin began to realize what would happen, what was going to happen. “Oh god, man, don’t do this!”
But Clu was beyond Kevin’s reach. His lips pull back into a sneer; white teeth bore in an almost feral snarl, as he reaches out and digs his fingers cruelly into Alan’s hair, yanking the man’s head up. He watches those blue eyes clamp shut in pain as he yells. Yelling at Alan like he yelled at Tron all those cycles ago. “I AM NOT KEVIN FLYNN, I AM BETTER!”
Over and over he screams that phrase until it was the only thing he can hear, until it is echoing in the silence of the grid.
It’s as he is slowly coming back to himself, the rage that clouded his vision fading away, that he realizes he knocked Alan out. The User lies helplessly beneath him. Vaguely he can recall smashing Alan’s head against the ground, screaming into his face even when Alan has ceased to move, eyes shut and features slack. And it’s strange because he feels odd. Clu frowns at the conflicting emotions churning in his belly, about what he has done and his gaze wonders over to the splatter of blood on the ground. Absently he reaches out to dip his finger into it before shakily drawing out four red marks in a T.
Guilt, that is what he feels.
“No, this needed to be done, had to be done. It is Alan’s fault, not mine.” Clu reasons aloud, trying to convince himself that he was in the right though even to him, the words ring hollow. Clu carefully moves away from Alan’s body then. It is as he takes a moment to look around that he notices with some uneasiness that the area is deserted. Gently Clu picks up Alan, his eyebrows furrowing as he sees the extent of the damage he has inflicted on Alan. He is reminded once more of just how delicate Users can be as he listens to the strained sound of the others breathing. But if Clu is certain of one thing, it is that Alan is resilient like Tron.
It is with that in mind that Clu began to make his way to one of the nearby sectors where he knows one of his many private residence lies, Alan’s long limp form a negligible weight to carry. He notes with some regret that he should have grabbed a light cycle baton, as it seems strange he of all programs should have to walk.
--
The walk to his safe house took longer than expected but it gave Clu a chance to see how bad of shape the grid was in. It was in a greater state of decay than previously anticipated. Many buildings had collapsed or were beginning to do so, with large gaping holes in their sides or roofs missing. Even the safe house was damaged, however minimally. And very few programs lingered out in the open, most preferring to hide. Or perhaps they just hid themselves away from him whenever they caught sight of him. What few programs were out in the open were malfunctioning and Clu couldn’t help the feeling of disgust he felt when he laid eyes on those programs. He promised himself that as soon as he was able to, he would personally create a squad of Black Guards to find and round up and programs that were damaged or malfunctioning before derezzing them as he could not afford to have such useless programs lingering in his grid.
As for the state of the city itself, many lines of code lay scattered across various streets and grid bugs seemed to be running rampant once more, feasting on any program that was vulnerable. All in all, it was cause for great worry.
But he could not be bothered with it right now as he had a user to attend to. Turning his back to the massive window that overlooked the city below, Clu watched the still form that laid sprawled on it’s side in the bed. The room was rather small, the furniture was sparse, and what few fixtures there were in the room had the comforting glowing lines of orange illuminating everything.
Walking over to where Alan lay, Clu settles himself on the edge of the bed before reaching out and curling his fingers around Alan’s identity disk. Almost as soon as he touches the disk, Kevin roars to life. Leave him the hell alone, Clu, or I swear I will make you--. “What”? He demands aloud, blue eyes searching around the room, as he feels a seething rage that is not his own buzz in the back of his mind. “What will you do to me, Flynn? What could you possibly do to me?” Clu asks irritably. He will do as pleases and so he prepares to pull the disk off of Alan when Kevin stops him again.
Clu, please, just…just don’t do this, all right man? You’ve done some serious damage already to Alan and…I just, I don’t want to lose him, okay? Flynn cries, throwing his hands up in the air as he tries to remain calm and collected. But it is difficult because he doesn’t want to lose Alan, not like this. Not to his other half.
“I do not intend to harm him, Flynn. I just intend to improve his programming.” Clu insisted while sounding vaguely insulted that Flynn of all people thought he would intentionally harm Alan. It was problematic, feeling everything their shared body felt. That was why he practically ripped the identity disk off of Alan’s dock. You’ve been harming Alan intentionally as soon as we both laid eyes on him, Kevin barked. “As if you never did the same to Tron?” Clu shot back, feeling immediately stung. He felt the regret his words had caused in Flynn and used this time to activate the disk, knowing Flynn would be momentarily distracted by his barb.
Kevin had many regrets in his life. One of the biggest ones was how he had abused Tron’s trust in him. He remembered asking for Tron’s identity disk so he could add a few updates, a few lines of code that would improve Tron’s performance and how willing Tron was. He always believed in Flynn. And Flynn abused that power by adding coding that would help to satisfy his own selfish desires.
It made him feel sick now as he and Clu watched the image of Alan’s head materialize before being replaced by an intricate double helix. The light from the hologram bathed Kevin’s face in white light and for a moment, he forgot everything. Instead he focused solely on what was being projected in front of him and he knew Clu was just as mezmorized by it all.
Clu was the first one to come back to reality, his mind already beginning to make mental notes about differences between Alan and Tron. They were the only beings who were completely different from everything else on the grid aside from the ISOs. Every program, structure, and object on the grid was tied to Flynn. Himself included though he was loath to admit that aloud. Even Sam Flynn had that same deeply imbedded connection to Kevin through his DNA. Only Tron and Alan were unique in that regard.
Clu lifts a hand up to the revolving lines of code, deftly flicking his fingers against code so he could began the arduous process of going through layer after layer, reading and making mental notes of what areas to improve upon and fix.
Damn it, Clu! This isn’t Tron, this is Alan, alright? Alan-1! The voice in his head snarls, shaking him from his studies. He hears a clear note of panic in Flynn’s voice. Whatever mistakes we made with Tron…we can’t afford to make them with Alan, okay? So just…just leave his disk alone. Kevin exclaims in frustration. Clu pauses momentarily in his work on Alan’s disk to consider Flynn’s words. His eyebrows furrow in a way that suggest he is thinking about listening to Flynn but the next words to come out of his mouth leave Flynn cold.
“…It is already too late for that, I believe.” Clu, listen to me. Neither of us knows what will happen to Alan if we mess with his coding like this. Users are not like programs. Messing with Alan’s code does not guarantee you another Rinzler.
“I do not want another Rinzler. I want Alan.”
For a moment, Kevin is too stunned to say anything. And than the reality of what Clu has just said to him hits and he can only laugh at himself, at Clu, because this is just another reminder of how much Clu is like him, is him. I want Alan too, man. But this…God, this isn’t the way to do it. He warns, voice sorrowful as he realizes that there is nothing he can do or say that will truly convince Clu to stop. Even his attempts at escape, at clawing at his prison walls, seem to do nothing except tire him out.
Clu does not bother to respond, instead turning his attention back to reading, understanding, and changing all the lines of code before him.
--
Alan awakes in pain. It is all he ever seems to feel these days. The pain he feels is overwhelming enough that Alan fears he will fall back into unconsciousness if he tries to move. Something which he is equally welcoming to and against. Thus he lies there and waits for his body to decide what it wants to do. Stay awake or go back under.
Ultimately his body decides that it wants to stay awake for the time being so Alan rolls himself onto his back with a groan, eyelids fluttering. His injuries protest his movement and for a moment, he is left gasping in pain. Still, whatever he is currently lying on is soft enough to help ease the pain. Wait, soft? Opening his eyes with some difficulty, Alan stares blankly up at the ceiling above him, his mind struggling to understand what happened during the time he was out. It seemed likely he had been brought inside somewhere. And as Alan becomes more aware of his surroundings, he realizes that something is missing. What exactly that is, he cannot be certain. And that bothers him.
His eyes wonder around the room aimlessly, trying to find whatever he had lost. This room is not like the one he woke up in when he first arrived on the grid though it is very similar. The décor is as efficient and cold as it was before. Nothing like the real Kevin Flynn. He opens his mouth to call for Kevin (Clu?) but thinks better of it, especially once he realizes with a sudden serge fright that Kevin is sitting right there.
Alan stares stupidly at the object in Clu’s hand for a good minute. Why does Clu have his identity disk? That’s important, is it not? He could vaguely recall a computerized female voice telling him it was.
“Do not worry, Flynn, I am merely improving his code, making it so that any deterioration that has occurred will be no more. Though, admittedly, I may have added a few lines that would make him less…difficult.” Clu states aloud as he stands up, his hand caressing Alan’s identity disk in an almost loving motion.
Panic quickly settles in. He now knows what he was missing and if he understood what he had just heard correctly than if Clu put that disk back on him, something would happen. And whatever that something was, it would be bad for Alan.
A single word suddenly begins to bounce around his head. One that seemed strangely fitting because of where he was.
Reprogrammed.
He was going to be reprogrammed. And that scared him because he wasn’t some unruly computer program failing to fulfill its directive, no, he was a user, a human and Alan was quite certain that undergoing reprogramming would be painful. Clawing at the sheets that were twisted around his body, Alan attempted to get away, ignoring his protesting injuries.
It is as Clu began to close in on him, despite his best efforts to make a get away, that Alan begins to beg for Clu to reconsider. Bright blue eyes are focused intently on him as he speaks and for a moment Alan is hopeful.
But that hope is crushed all too easily when Clu just smiles at him, his hand reaching out and grabbing a hold of Alan’s arm which had been outstretched in front of him. “Don’t worry, man. Next time you wake up, you’ll swear that you’ll have never felt better.”
As soon as the words leave Clu’s mouth, Alan is struggling again, eyes wild. But it doesn’t matter, not this time as the sheets twisted around his legs slow him down enough that he is left thrashing about in Clu’s grasp. Clu seems slightly amused by it all and the grip on his arm is slowly tightening. And then Clu is twisting that arm behind his back, forcing Alan onto his stomach, and if Clu isn’t careful, doesn’t stop twisting his arm, than Alan is sure he’ll hear the sickening crack of his own bones braking.
Instead he hears the softest of clicks as his identity disk is reconnected. His world goes white before dissolving into darkness once more.
The last thing Alan hears is the sound of someone screaming.
--
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it Flynn?” Clu asks while staring out in wonder at the grid before him, hands clasped behind his back. Certainly it was no longer perfect but Clu felt that despite that, the grid still had so much potential. It was perhaps the one thing the two of them could agree on right now. Or at least, that was what Clu had believed. But since Flynn had yet to respond to his simple question, perhaps that was no longer the case. If Clu didn’t know any better, if he couldn’t still feel Flynn’s presence, he would say Flynn was gone.
“Not speaking to me now, are we? Isn’t that a bit childish Flynn?” Clu mocked, eyebrow raising in question at his reflection in the glass. Not expecting a response the silence that followed helped to make him feel somehow superior.
What does Alan mean to you Clu?
Clu jerked away from the window in surprise, eyes widening momentarily before he shook his head, having been caught off guard by the unexpected question. “I fail to see what that question has to do with-“
Just answer me Clu. You know as well as I do that Alan means something to you. What exactly that is, I don’t dare to guess… but there must be a reason for all this. Flynn stated, cutting Clu off. Clu was certain he had never heard Flynn speak so coldly before.
With a snort, Clu rolled his eyes in distaste. “Do not mistake the affection you feel for Alan-1 as mine. I care very little about him, I just thought he could be useful to my plans.”
…Man, that is a bunch of bullshit if I ever heard any. I know you feel something for Alan because…look, I just get the feeling you want him hurt about as much as I do, okay?
Clu merely hums in agreement before turning his attention back to the grid. “Do you think we’ll be able to make it like it once was?” Clu finally asks and if his voice sounds a little wistful, Flynn pretends not to notice. Just like the way Clu pretends not to notice that his reflection has a few more wrinkles then it did before.
Yeah, man. It’ll be just like old times. Came the tired and hollow sounding response.
And Clu couldn’t help but laugh at that because things would never go back to how they once were, no matter how much a part of him yearned for it.
--
Darkness was everywhere, his world nothing but void. He could only recall bits and pieces of his past life. Anything else was just beyond his reach.
But then there came a whisper.
Rinzler.
No.
He had another name.
A spark appeared in the dark.
But what was it?
What was his directive?
What…
“Tron.”
The spark turned into a light.
Yes.
That name, it was familiar.
“Tron, your user needs you. Alan-1 needs you.”
His user? Here? On the grid?
No.
He was no longer worthy of his user.
He had failed to follow his directive; he had allowed himself to be corrupted by-
The light had become a beacon cutting through the shadows of his world.
“Clu has him, Tron. You are the only one who can save him. Please, Tron, help Alan-1”
Clu.
The creator, Kevin Flynn.
ISO’s.
The betrayal.
The arrival of Sam Flynn.
And…
Alan-1, his user.
“…I fight for the users.”
Tron finally rasped while reaching blindly out toward the voice, toward the now blinding light that was his beacon.
“Yes, Tron, you do. And right now Alan-1 needs you.”