Watching
TITLE Watching
AUTHOR Harmony Marguerite
PAIRING Snape/Harry
RATING PG-13 I suppose
WARNINGS Nothing is outright stated here, mostly. There are, however, illusions to death, torture, insanity and slash.
SUMMERY Snape thinks.
NOTES I don't own Harry Potter, Rowling does. This story is a stream of consciousness, John Gardner style!! I've been reading Grendel, therefore, I'm writing like that. My apologies to Gardner. Harry is well above the age of 17 here, and he and Snape have been lovers for some time.
****
They always watch, I have noticed this. Morbid fascination holds their gaze. Beg, swear, cry, lash out in anger, they watch. Glittering eyes, shinning from beneath a sheltering hood of night. Protection from what they watch, darkness, small points of light deep within. Reflection of light upon glass-like eyes.
(Staring, staring. Can eyes really burn a hole in you? Turn away, no, no, stop!)
They hide, watchers, with eyes like rabbits faced with a gun. Sheltered, they think, beneath a cozy comfort of black, but I watch back. I watch the watchers. Frightened Bastards, I almost pity you.
("Compassion is everything." He once told me. "Compassion can win you the most stubborn of people." "How?" I ask. "Show me." He laughs, his answer is a kiss. He won me with his damned compassion, I know that, he knows I know that. He won't rub it in with an answer, he loves me too much.)
Screaming, crying, no, no, stop. Watching, watching, wanting to run...
Hoods dip low as I scream, obscuring glittering eyes. What do you hide, I wonder? What do your eyes show that you must retreat further? Tears? Pity? Sorrow? Who cares. Hiding, always hiding, never tell, never come clean. (Tears in eyes too pure, reflecting a snow white soul.)
(He always understood why I had to go, and he knew that he couldn't stop me. Knowledge never stopped him from clinging tightly to me.)
They hide, my watchers. Hide from the Evil One, Him. What He can't see, can't hurt you, pretty little rabbits. Run, run, the Hunter plays. Rabbits who fall in love are the first to go.
(Bang, Bang)
He watches with red eyes, full of laughter. Bastard, how can you laugh at the sight of so much pain and fear? He laughs low, more pain. Laughing to convince himself he has nothing to fear. That's why my love is dead.
(Pain, rocking back and forth, crying, really, Severus, this can't be normal. Has it occurred to you that you have lost it? I know I have. I went crazy when he was killed.)
Begging, crying, rocking, over and over, watching, watching. Run little rabbits, run.
Bells, midnight, a clock far away carries the announcement of the bewitching hour. The bells mesmerize us for a short time.
(Mesmerized by green eyes, looking at me with love. Love? This beautiful boy loves me? Green eyes, love, hate, love, I love my green eyed hero. Where are you now? Rescue me!)
It is almost over. Let it be over, dammit. Kill me! Be done with it. Let me go. Where are you hero? Dead, dead in a burst of laughter from the one you were forced to fight. You were too little to fight, my beautiful boy, and you knew that. Why didn't you tell us? Because we knew, and you knew that we knew. We just didn't want to believe. We needed a hero, and you were ripe for the taking.
Green eyes full of tears.
(He would wake up at night, and try to cry quietly so as not to wake me, but I always woke. Beautiful, shinning eyes full of tears. He looked at me like I was his hero.)
Red eyes laughing,
living on pain.
Green eyes crying,
falling like rain.
Stop, crying, begging. So much pain. I wonder that I am still conscious. Laughter wells in me, bursting out unchecked, startling those damned watching eyes. They jump back.
(Poor little rabbits, can you run yet?)
I don't know who I frighten more, them or myself. I can't stop, laughing hysterically, not knowing why. So much pain.
("You should laugh more." He always said. "It's the best medicine.")
I can't stop, laugh at the watching eyes. Laugh at the lies he told me. It doesn't stop the pain, Harry love, it still hurts everywhere. The worst pain is the hole in my heart where you used to be.
(Green eyes open one last time, blood falls everywhere, pretty red rain. He can't speak, and begins to cry, clutching me like a lifeline. Don't leave, you can't leave, nononononononononono....My love. Did I tell you, I love you lovelovelovelove.....fades to dark, eyes forever shut.)
Screaming, laughing, crying. Stopnonono.... where are you green eyes? Harry, my Harry, gone, forever gone. Pain, stopstop, please.
Not long now. Let me go.
(He would laugh, eyes sparkling. So expressive. He once hated me. Then he grew up. My love, my hero, my savior.)
I can't see. Am I still laughing? It still hurts. Harry, oh Harry, my love. Did you hear me before you left me? My Love, love, love. Can't say it enough. I mumble it into the ground, choking, hiccupping, deep breaths. The pain slowly leaves, watching eyes are no longer there.
(Run little rabbit)
Arms, tiny, pale, perfect. Taking away the pain. Green eyes stare into mine, and I cry. He holds me, whispers of love. I'm too broken to be where this angel must live. Leave me be, perfect Angel, Hero, Love, can't let go. He cries too. Together, he promised once.
Whispering, it sinks in.
We'll have forever, my Angel and me.
END
AUTHOR Harmony Marguerite
PAIRING Snape/Harry
RATING PG-13 I suppose
WARNINGS Nothing is outright stated here, mostly. There are, however, illusions to death, torture, insanity and slash.
SUMMERY Snape thinks.
NOTES I don't own Harry Potter, Rowling does. This story is a stream of consciousness, John Gardner style!! I've been reading Grendel, therefore, I'm writing like that. My apologies to Gardner. Harry is well above the age of 17 here, and he and Snape have been lovers for some time.
****
They always watch, I have noticed this. Morbid fascination holds their gaze. Beg, swear, cry, lash out in anger, they watch. Glittering eyes, shinning from beneath a sheltering hood of night. Protection from what they watch, darkness, small points of light deep within. Reflection of light upon glass-like eyes.
(Staring, staring. Can eyes really burn a hole in you? Turn away, no, no, stop!)
They hide, watchers, with eyes like rabbits faced with a gun. Sheltered, they think, beneath a cozy comfort of black, but I watch back. I watch the watchers. Frightened Bastards, I almost pity you.
("Compassion is everything." He once told me. "Compassion can win you the most stubborn of people." "How?" I ask. "Show me." He laughs, his answer is a kiss. He won me with his damned compassion, I know that, he knows I know that. He won't rub it in with an answer, he loves me too much.)
Screaming, crying, no, no, stop. Watching, watching, wanting to run...
Hoods dip low as I scream, obscuring glittering eyes. What do you hide, I wonder? What do your eyes show that you must retreat further? Tears? Pity? Sorrow? Who cares. Hiding, always hiding, never tell, never come clean. (Tears in eyes too pure, reflecting a snow white soul.)
(He always understood why I had to go, and he knew that he couldn't stop me. Knowledge never stopped him from clinging tightly to me.)
They hide, my watchers. Hide from the Evil One, Him. What He can't see, can't hurt you, pretty little rabbits. Run, run, the Hunter plays. Rabbits who fall in love are the first to go.
(Bang, Bang)
He watches with red eyes, full of laughter. Bastard, how can you laugh at the sight of so much pain and fear? He laughs low, more pain. Laughing to convince himself he has nothing to fear. That's why my love is dead.
(Pain, rocking back and forth, crying, really, Severus, this can't be normal. Has it occurred to you that you have lost it? I know I have. I went crazy when he was killed.)
Begging, crying, rocking, over and over, watching, watching. Run little rabbits, run.
Bells, midnight, a clock far away carries the announcement of the bewitching hour. The bells mesmerize us for a short time.
(Mesmerized by green eyes, looking at me with love. Love? This beautiful boy loves me? Green eyes, love, hate, love, I love my green eyed hero. Where are you now? Rescue me!)
It is almost over. Let it be over, dammit. Kill me! Be done with it. Let me go. Where are you hero? Dead, dead in a burst of laughter from the one you were forced to fight. You were too little to fight, my beautiful boy, and you knew that. Why didn't you tell us? Because we knew, and you knew that we knew. We just didn't want to believe. We needed a hero, and you were ripe for the taking.
Green eyes full of tears.
(He would wake up at night, and try to cry quietly so as not to wake me, but I always woke. Beautiful, shinning eyes full of tears. He looked at me like I was his hero.)
Red eyes laughing,
living on pain.
Green eyes crying,
falling like rain.
Stop, crying, begging. So much pain. I wonder that I am still conscious. Laughter wells in me, bursting out unchecked, startling those damned watching eyes. They jump back.
(Poor little rabbits, can you run yet?)
I don't know who I frighten more, them or myself. I can't stop, laughing hysterically, not knowing why. So much pain.
("You should laugh more." He always said. "It's the best medicine.")
I can't stop, laugh at the watching eyes. Laugh at the lies he told me. It doesn't stop the pain, Harry love, it still hurts everywhere. The worst pain is the hole in my heart where you used to be.
(Green eyes open one last time, blood falls everywhere, pretty red rain. He can't speak, and begins to cry, clutching me like a lifeline. Don't leave, you can't leave, nononononononononono....My love. Did I tell you, I love you lovelovelovelove.....fades to dark, eyes forever shut.)
Screaming, laughing, crying. Stopnonono.... where are you green eyes? Harry, my Harry, gone, forever gone. Pain, stopstop, please.
Not long now. Let me go.
(He would laugh, eyes sparkling. So expressive. He once hated me. Then he grew up. My love, my hero, my savior.)
I can't see. Am I still laughing? It still hurts. Harry, oh Harry, my love. Did you hear me before you left me? My Love, love, love. Can't say it enough. I mumble it into the ground, choking, hiccupping, deep breaths. The pain slowly leaves, watching eyes are no longer there.
(Run little rabbit)
Arms, tiny, pale, perfect. Taking away the pain. Green eyes stare into mine, and I cry. He holds me, whispers of love. I'm too broken to be where this angel must live. Leave me be, perfect Angel, Hero, Love, can't let go. He cries too. Together, he promised once.
Whispering, it sinks in.
We'll have forever, my Angel and me.
END