The Hunter and the Hunted 13/?
Title: The Hunter and the Hunted 13/?
Part 13: “Long Distance Losing”
Authors: art_of_mayhem and candygramme
Rated: NC17 for boy on boy sex.
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Alex Krycek
Spoilers: Vague for the X-Files “Terma” and “Requiem”
Warning: Slash
Word count: 5,522
Disclaimer: Dean and his family belong to Eric Kripke and Supernatural, and Alex belongs to Chris Carter and the X-Files. We own nothing. We are doing this for love and not money.
Author’s notes: After losing contact with each other during the time Sam was at college, Alex and Dean meet again, but now Sam is back and dad’s gone missing.
The quoted song is “Long Distance,” by Turin Brakes.
Part 12
Part 11
Part 10
Part 9
Part 8
Part 7
Part 6
Part 5
Part 4
Part 3
Part 2
Part 1
I let somebody get under my skin,
Long distance losing is all that I’ve seen,
Now there’s a river,
Now there’s a river
They were in the middle of the parking lot, and people were coming and going, but Alex didn't care. He had lifted his hand to cup Dean's cheek, and now he slid it around the back of Dean's head, pulling him forward to kiss him again, his mouth open for Dean to explore. "I don't expect you to believe me, but I love you, Dean. I'll go gentle on your kid brother, but I want you, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to have you, and all I've got to say about your father is fuck him, if that's what he believes. You and me, we deserve each other; we deserve anything that makes us happy."
For a moment, they stood, watching each other, and then Alex reached for Dean's hand. "I've got a room, if you want to come back and... and talk. No expectations, and nothing you don't want. Just... I love you, and if you can bring yourself to go with a cripple, then... let's go."
Dean's heart stilled for a moment. I don't either. The words echoed in his head, reverberating as Alex said those other words, I love you. A tremor ran through Dean, rattling him down to his bones. His insides were fluttering like butterflies. His heart, when it started functioning again, began a rapid beat, as if performing some weird war dance. Everything else around him, the people passing, car doors opening and closing, mini conversations in the distance, all faded away to nothing as he stared at Alex.
Dean looked down as he licked his lips after they finished kissing. "Yeah, let's go." He stepped back anxiously, digging for his keys, and started heading for his car, "And you're not a cripple, Alex," He threw the words back at Alex over his shoulder. He went to his car, and prepared to follow Alex back to where he was staying.
The trip back to the motel was soon over. Weirdly enough, Alex was staying at the same place as Dean and his brother, although their rooms were at different ends of the establishment. As Dean pulled the Impala back into its spot outside the room he shared with Sam, Alex stood and waited for him, holding open the door to his room and watching Dean as he hurried across, his loose-limbed walk still as sexy as ever it was.
"Come on in," murmured Alex, relaxing a little for the first time since they'd met. "I don't have much in the way of refreshments, but we can order in, if you like."
He closed the door behind Dean and turned to face him, eyes wide and dark. "You look even better than I remembered," he said, softly.
Dean hesitated for a moment before stepping into the room. His natural caution, honed by years of hunting with his father had given him that, and he was always cautious for just an instant. He moved inside, stepping to one side as the door closed, and reaching back to lock it.
"Only if you want to," Dean answered finally as he, too, just stood there staring back. "A few more scars," he gave a shrug of his shoulders. Dean finally moved, stepping around Alex and looking about the room then turned to face the man. "Tell me something, Alex... this..." he motioned between them, "Is this gonna just be one of those one-night things. Wake in the morning, go our separate ways. ‘Cause if it is, tell me now. I can't..." His voice choked off and he swallowed down a lump.
Carefully peeling off his long, wool coat, Alex turned and laid it over the back of a chair, then moved over to where Dean still stood, waiting. "I want what you want," he murmured, voice deeper, huskier than usual. "You remember the guy with the cigarettes? The one that was manipulating me? The one I warned you against, back when you got me out of that silo?" Alex stood as close to Dean as he could without touching him, wondering how the confession he was about to make would sit with his lover. When Dean gave a little nod, he continued. "I killed him yesterday. That was the project I wanted to finish up, because I needed to make sure that he never got his clutches into you. Now that he's dead, you won't be in danger, if you decide to be with me."
He waited, wondering if the confession he'd just made would make Dean run screaming.
Dean's eyes followed the movement of the coat as it slid off that fake arm. He didn't return them to Alex, till the other man started moving towards him, still talking. He watched those lips move without actually taking in all of what he was saying. His mind raced, and he gave a little nod, because a part of him remembered. With a blink, he shifted his gaze up to Alex's eyes. "He had no idea who I was, or he would have tried it a long time ago, Alex, and if he’d tried anything, my dad probably would have shot him for it." Dean only half believed what he was saying at that moment, but it sounded reassuring to his own ears.
"The things we are willing to do for the people we love, huh?" He gave a little short laugh mixed with a snort. "I'm always gonna be in danger. As long as that demon is alive, and my family is hunting it, I'm gonna be putting myself out on the line. But at least you aren't... from him. And even if you are..." Dean smiled into Alex's eyes, "You won't be as long as I'm around."
"You, um, salted and burned his bones didn't you? Make sure the job was complete?" He gave Alex that teasing charming half-smirk smile of his.
"Fuck! I should've, shouldn't I?" Alex could feel his insides melting as he saw that smile of Dean's, cocky and sweet, and lighting up the depths of his eyes. "All I could think of was that he'd put you through the stuff he did to me, and I couldn't let that happen."
He dropped to his knees in front of Dean and stole his arm around Dean's hips, leaned his cheek against Dean's stomach and gave a little sigh. "I can't believe that you're here like this. I can't believe that you even want to be with me now that I'm not whole." He remained there, holding Dean, inhaling the warm, Dean scent of him as he knelt.
A little laugh floated from Dean. "Didn't you learn anything from those days you hung out with me?" He'd shifted and had to stop himself from backing up when Alex dropped to his knees. His eyes shifted down, and a hand stole across to rest in Alex's hair as Dean started petting him, "I know it's hard to believe, but you don't have to worship me." Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but it came out anyway. Dean curled his fingers under Alex's chin, lifting it, his thumb caressing Alex's lips. "C'm'ere." He reached down, hooking his arm under one of Alex's to pull him up.
Guiding them both over to sit on the bed, Dean turned to face Alex. "A lot of things happened to me after you left. A hell of a lot." He gave a sigh. "I'm surprised you even want to talk to me." He took Alex's hand, noting that his silver ring was still there. "I was... tempted to call this Mulder of yours several times, but two things stopped me. Dad for one. He probably would have beat the living tar out of me for contacting an FBI agent, even if he is one that chases after little green men, and two... I was scared that if I even mentioned you I would get you into deeper shit."
"You've got that right." Alex sat close to Dean, feeling the warmth of Dean's thigh pressed against his with a kind of desperate joy. "Besides, after Russia, he didn't ever know where I was. I made sure of that." He gave a little laugh. "It was his fault I lost my arm, even if he wasn't actually there when it happened, the cocksucking bastard that he is."
It was sweet, sitting there on the bed with someone he cared about, swapping stories and just being together. Alex, usually terribly careful to keep his one hand free, allowed Dean to capture it, hold it and play with his fingers, all his defenses for the moment down. "That's what I was doing in Bellefleur that day we met at the gas station. I was following Mulder. I was supposed to make sure he found a downed alien ship, but I went one better." He smiled, not a nice smile, and lowered his lashes. "I made sure that they took him. He's going to find out more about aliens than he ever really wanted to know."
"He was the cause of this?" Dean touched the artificial hand before making a face and pulling his hand away. He grasped Alex's real one. "Lucky they took him, or I would have..." Cutting himself off, he frowned. Dean hadn't realized, back in Bellefleur, just how close he'd been to Alex's ex - to the man that had treated him so poorly, and who, in his eyes, was practically responsible for everything that had happened to his lover. If he had only known, those old, protective behaviors would have surfaced, and Dean thought that he would probably be sitting in jail right now.
"Well, I hope he gets enough anal probes that he walks and sits funny." Dean pulled his hand away, getting up and taking off his leather jacket. He threw it onto the chair beside Alex's coat, before sitting back down. "How... how did you lose your arm?" Dean still carried his wounds from the Windigo, but none of them were as dreadful as the one that had severed Alex’s arm.
Sighing, Alex thought back to the day when Mulder had broken them out of the gulag and taken him with him. "It's a long story. He dragged me with him to Russia, on the trail of the aliens, and we were captured by soldiers and thrown into a Gulag. I was flannelling them into believing I was a high up officer in the KGB, and it would've worked, too, because I've got the contacts, but he couldn't let things be for even a day. He broke out and hauled me with him." Alex winced at the memory. "I managed to roll off the truck he'd stolen, and ended up in the wilds - it was like one of Grimm’s Fairy tales. A bunch of villagers found me, and they said they'd help me. Then in the middle of the night, they dragged me out of my sleeping bag and hacked off my left arm with a red hot machete." He shivered. "I've never felt anything like that. I thought I was going to go mad."
The memories were too much. He paused for a moment, face pale. "I... They thought that they were helping me. The concentration camp had been experimenting on the villagers, but they didn't take the crippled, so they were cutting their arms off to keep from being chosen for the experiments."
Dean shook his head as he closed his eyes, as if he could almost feel the pain that Alex had gone through. Everyone around him seemed to suffer but him. His father had suffered with the loss of his mother; Sam with a childhood that was just not by any stretch of the imagination normal, and then, more recently, with the loss of Jessica. And now here was Alex, who had suffered horribly, while he himself was just fine. Nothing had affected him, save for the death of his mother, and at that time Dean had been very young. He might have been only four when it had happened, it was something he wouldn't ever be able to forget.
Dean felt suddenly very small.
Doing the only thing he knew how, Dean placed his arm around Alex and pulled him close, tucking his head under his own chin. "It's over now. Time to move on. From here on."
Warmth surrounded Alex, Dean's body pressing against him, holding him, felt wonderful. For a while he didn't move, merely sat relishing the contact. When he finally stirred, it was to lift his head and find Dean's mouth, sucking his lower lip in so that he could tease it gently with his teeth.
"From here on, you belong to me, and I'm yours, not anyone else's." The words were murmured against Dean's mouth, and Alex began to kiss Dean, little nips and nibbles to begin with, gradually becoming more passionate, more loving, until at last they were kissing, open mouthed and sloppy as their tongues dueled.
Dean didn't resist, didn't fight the contact. If anything he wanted to feel it even more. Slowly, he gave in to that old familiar feeling, flowing into the kiss as he held Alex tighter to him. When Alex pulled back to murmur his soft vow, Dean couldn't think of one thing to say that would counter Alex's words.
Reaching back around, he started undoing Alex's shirt, pushing one button at a time through the tiny holes. Dean wasn't sure if Alex would be willing... with the missing arm so new, but Dean felt he needed to prove to Alex right now that it didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered in the here and now, except for the man in his arms. He couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about Sam... although he was sure that Sam was probably gonna have a few words to say on the matter of who Dean belonged to.
Realizing with a start that Dean was undressing him, Alex froze a little. He felt horribly exposed, the ugly plastic of his prosthetic arm a glaring contrast to Dean's perfect flesh. "Fuck, I don't want you to look at me, Dean," he growled. "Leave me some dignity, man."
He reached for the waistband of Dean's jeans, popping the button and slipping his fingers in to remind himself of Dean's hard flesh and the heat they'd once known together, expecting any minute for Dean to shove him away in disgust.
Dean grabbed Alex's neck, thumb under his chin pushing it up so they were eye to eye. "I don't care, Alex," Dean hissed before latching his teeth onto Alex's neck, nibbling and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He pushed Alex, sending him onto his back as his own body followed. He’d opened Alex’s shirt already so that they could lie skin to skin, and now Dean put his hand down onto Alex's cock, through his jeans, rubbing with the heel of his hand.
Working his way down over Alex's chest, Dean used his nose and chin to push the shirt out of the way. "You missed me; I missed you," he mouthed, sliding off the bed so he could kneel before his lover and work his pants open. He gave a smirk, remembering Alex's words from long ago. "Gonna make you scream for me."
Alex couldn't take his eyes off his lover. Dean's hair was a little shorter now than he had worn it when they'd fought the siren together, and his face was a little more lined, with laugh lines that crinkled around his eyes as he looked up at Alex. The pressure against his groin as Dean started to massage his cock through his pants made Alex shiver, and as Dean pulled his clothing open he couldn't hold back the little moans and groans that were beginning to emanate from him.
"Won't take long, I bet. It's been a while since I went with anyone." Alex gave a shaky laugh. "I bet you I'll pop like a fifteen year old with a centerfold."
Dean got Alex's pants open. In the years they had been apart, Dean, as Sam would no doubt tell Alex later, had been more of a slut than normal, but he had never been with another man since Alex. "Fifteen year old, huh, guess I’d better move quickly then." Dean pulled at Alex’s pants and had them down low enough that he was easily able to get at Alex's hard flesh as he revealed it.
Dean breathed on Alex and then without hesitation curled a greedy hand around his cock, grasping it firmly and pulling it towards him. There wasn't much foreplay in this encounter; Dean took Alex into his mouth, sucking him hard and moaning, his voice sending vibrations around Alex’s flesh.
It didn't take long. Dean hadn't lost any of his skill, and Alex had been waiting a very long time for this. Silken heat surrounded him as Dean swallowed him down, pulling on him, sucking hard, lavishing attention on his cock and balls. Alex arched, head thrashing from side to side as he felt Dean suck the juices out of him.
Trembling fingers ran through Dean's hair, clutching without purchase on the short strands. There was a brief silence, during which time sucking and slurping noises were heard, and then Alex did begin to beg, murmuring sweet obscenities at Dean as he drew closer and closer to his orgasm. "Gotta come, Dean. Need you so bad. Oh, God, suck me! Fuck, right there!"
Dean didn't let up - couldn’t have stopped if he’d tried. He used every skill he could remember to get his one time lover off. He glanced up at him, drinking in the look on his face, adoring the feel of Alex’s hand in his hair. With teeth and tongue he worked Alex a little more before sliding his mouth completely over his cock and drinking him down.
Once Alex was finally finished, Dean slowly pulled off, coming up to kiss his lover deeply.
Alex lay panting, helpless, spread-eagled across his bed. When Dean clambered up to lie against him and kiss him, he closed his eyes and clung to his long lost love as if he would never again be able to let go of him. "My God! You're better than ever." He tugged at Dean's T-shirt, pulling it out of his pants so that he could run his hands over the skin of his back. "Oh, man, fate's cruel. We could've had this for all that time."
Dean kept his kisses lazy and slow. He was getting to know Alex all over again - refamiliarizing himself with his lover’s body as he stroked his hand over his chest. "Well, if I ever run into Fate... I'll be sure to let her know." He kissed Alex’s mouth again before tipping his head for his lover to nip at. Dean missed feeling both of Alex's arms around him, but it was okay, he was still head over heels in love with him, even with an arm missing.
They squirmed against each other, mouth on mouth, their kisses lazier and less frantic as they reacquainted themselves with the feel and touch of each other's bodies. Alex nipped at Dean's neck. "Any chance you might get naked for me?" he asked softly. "I'm gonna die, if you don't fuck me."
Pushing away a little bit, Dean sat up, removing his outer shirt first and then taking off his tee shirt. Dean had a few more scars than before but nothing as hideous as the scar that Alex had. Reaching down, Dean pulled his boots off and then transferred his attentions to the removal of his pants. "Now don't you die on me, not while your luck is this good. I want to take you down to the local gas station and get some lottery tickets." He smirked as he stood to pull his pants off.
"Now, let's crank this up to eleven shall we?" As he was speaking, he had begun working on getting Alex's pants the rest of the way off.
Laughing, Alex let Dean undress him, lifting his hips obligingly, sitting forward to allow the shirt to be removed, but then cringing as he lay naked, the stump of his missing limb plainly visible. "I've got to take the damned thing off to sleep," he growled, indicating his prosthetic arm. "The fucking thing gives me blisters." He lay waiting for Dean to back away, to find him gross and ugly. Dean merely lay down, stretching out on Alex's left so that his lover's right hand had free range of movement.
Alex, grateful for Dean's thoughtfulness, reached down to squeeze his cock, scooping a little strand of pre-come onto his fingers. Lifting his hand, he began to stroke it onto first one nipple, and then the other, before bending forwards to begin licking and sucking at them. "Eleven, you say? I'm dialing here. See if we can kick things up at least one extra notch."
Dean didn't feel repulsed or put off by the lack of Alex's arm. If anything it made him want to prove to Alex he wanted him still. He couldn’t resist giving a little, sexy purr as Alex leaned into to suck on him. A hand slid behind Alex's head, playing in his short locks. He gave a chuckle, then another moan. "I think you just did, baby." He pushed his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes for a moment before lifting it and looking back down. "Fuck, I nearly forgot how good your mouth really was."
"It's the best, baby! You'd better believe it." Alex slid his tongue down over the thick vein that ran the length of Dean's dick. "But you're gonna have to hold it for me, please, if you don't want me to fall on my ass. It's never occurred to me just what a handicap to good sex missing a wing could be." He lowered himself so that he could attack Dean's balls, running his tongue over them, nibbling at the loose skin until it drew up to stand out in ridges. "I forgot just how good you tasted. God, Dean, I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you again."
Moving still lower, Alex ran his tongue around Dean's tightly puckered hole, first tickling, then pushing his tongue inside.
Dean didn't mind having to do a few things just to feel his lover against him once again. Already he was thinking of other ways, other positions they could get into, but he stopped thinking altogether when Alex started sucking upon him. "Oh fuck," he groaned, lifting his hips. Dean looked down at Alex, then threw his head back once again, feeling as if he couldn't take too much more. "Alex... Alex, please... come up here." He reached down, pulling Alex up to him, kissing him as he rolled him to his back.
"Want you," he breathed moving over Alex to pull his legs up and open him. Dean should have worked his lover open - should have stretched him as much as he could before doing what he was beginning to do now. Dean was pushing his cock right into Alex's entrance, his mouth covering his lover’s in a deep and hungry kiss.
There was pain, but Alex welcomed it. Dean's cock felt as if it was splitting him wide, and Alex lay back, breathing long, shallow breaths as he tried to relax into the slow press home, needing Dean to own him.
Dean was careful, and was soon buried deep inside Alex, feeling his balls press against his lover's buttocks as he paused, getting accustomed to the tight squeeze of the thick muscle around his cock.
"I used to dream of this," confessed Alex, between long, luscious kisses. "I used to dream that you and I hadn't lost each other, and we were still together. God, Dean..." He pulled Dean back to him, nipping at the ghost hunter's full lips. "I've never wanted anything the way I want you now."
Dean couldn't stop kissing Alex. Not with his cock sinking so deep in him. Finally he succeeded in allowing himself to give this man some air, giving Alex the chance to speak. Dean gave a harsh chuckle, trying to ignore the fact that he’d caused both Alex and himself some pain with the dry entry; he was going to have to remember not to let his hormones take over his thought processes in the future.
With a gasp, Dean shook his head, "Had nothing better to dream of? Guess I should be flattered." He started to move his hips, slowly drawing back to get his cock to slide out then push back in. The fuck was slow and sensual as he concentrated on drawing it out. God yes, Dean had really missed this. He’d missed feeling Alex under him, missed hearing him panting and moaning.
"Jeez, you are so fucking tight!" Dean moaned the words, letting his head fall forward as he concentrated.
"Guess that's because you're so fucking huge," said Alex, a little smile on his face. There was pain, and Alex welcomed the hurt, because it had been so long since he'd had anything like this, and because it was Dean causing it.
"Would it be possible for you to slow down a little, while I get used to it?" Alex wrapped his legs around Dean, crossed his ankles behind his waist and concentrated on relaxing into the onslaught. Dean was so beautiful, his need written on his features, etched into the snarl he wore as he fucked Alex, and that alone made Alex high, prickles of arousal beginning to grab him and take him out of the pain and into the pleasure.
Dean stopped for a moment. Perhaps he was more eager than he thought, and maybe he missed Alex more than he could admit, even to himself. With Alex's legs locked behind him, Dean leaned upon one arm, using his other hand to caress over Alex's side. He could feel a few new scars, small imperfections in the smoothskin.
He had bent his head to look down their bodies. Dean hadn't thought this moment would ever happen again. That he would be able to look down and see his talisman swing between them again, brushing Alex's skin when he dipped lower. "Is that better?" He asked. "Just be aware that I don't do this for just everyone."
Laughing, Alex blew him a kiss. "I should hope not. You'd wear your dick to a nub, and that would be bad." The position he was in didn't give him much opportunity to move, but he managed a little sideways wriggle of his hips which demonstrated his eagerness. "If anyone is going to wear out your dick, that person is going to be me!
As Dean started to move again, Alex moaned, feelings were stirring inside him that he'd ruthlessly put down so many years back. He wasn't sure if getting back with Dean was going to be a good thing or not. Already he was wondering if he'd just ruined all his carefully constructed defenses, and somewhere in the back of his mind he was trying to decide whether love was worth it, or whether to cut his losses and run.
He could feel Dean's cock sliding over his sweet spot, and the familiar tingles that would lead to orgasm were starting to build. He put his one hand out to touch Dean's lips, and whispered, "I love you, Dean." And inside, he was crying.
Dean was moving once again, feeling the full length of his cock reaching deep inside Alex before drawing almost free. A little more experienced in lovemaking now, Dean knew just how to angle his hips. He knew right were to find that sweet spot, without having to search like he had to once upon a time. His hand, which had also been caressing skin, was now curled around a stiff shaft that was leaking, getting his fingers wet as he pulled at the skin.
Pausing for just a moment, Dean shivered. If Alex only knew what his words were doing to him inside, but over the years of their separation, he’d managed to rebuild those walls of his, stronger than ever, thanks to his brother and his dad. What Dean had always feared most, had already happened. "I know you do," was all he could say. It wasn’t the most heartfelt response he could have given, but Dean had decided some time ago that he mustn't get close to anyone ever again.
Teeth biting one of Alex's fingers, Dean used his tongue to separate them out so he could suck on one of them. He could feel his own release drawing closer as the two of them worked their way towards completion. It wasn't going to take very much longer at this rate.
The stimulation was becoming unbearable, and Alex bucked against Dean, helplessly taking whatever Dean gave him, wanting more and fearing it even as he craved. Dean's hand on his cock was perfect, driving him crazy as the two of them plunged towards their orgasm.
When his balls tightened and he felt his climax sparking through him, Alex cried out, his body shuddering through the pleasure that was consuming him. Dean's face was closed off, his expression remote as he approached his own orgasm, and Alex wanted to scratch, to bite, to do something that would remind his lover that this was him, Alex Krycek, and not some faceless fuck.
Dean felt his own body tighten. Every muscle in him seemed to clamp down tight and make his whole body shake with the utter force of his release. Teeth were clenched as his head was bent. He too wanted to bite, to leave a mark, but he didn't. Instead, he felt the sure ecstasy wash over his body, every muscle throbbing with the blood that sang through him. When it was finally over, he gasped a deep breath before forcing himself to push away, pull out and then drop down beside his lover.
With one hand on Alex’s chest, he panted for air. "Shit," came the whispered curse. He wasn’t sure if he was saying it because he’d made a mistake or because his brain had been fried. Dean had forgotten how sex with Alex could turn him into a pile of goo.
"You took the word right out of my mouth!" gasped Alex, sweaty and panting from their exertions. He let his legs drop back to the bed and slid his arm around Dean's shoulders to hold him close. "That was pretty fucking hot," he mumbled. "You ought to be bottled and sold as an aphrodisiac." He rolled a little, turning so that he lay on his damaged left side, facing Dean.
Lust slaked for the moment, Alex studied Dean, seeing new shadows around his eyes, new lines that spoke of pain suffered, and new scars. "So tell me what you've been up to since we battled the sirens," he murmured at last. "I bet you've saved the heck out of people since then."
Dean turned his head, eyes seeming to examine the man next to him. Instantly a lie leapt to mind as he tried to decide just what to tell him. Of course he could say that he’d been road-tripping with his brother - just going around, seeing what kind of bad thing they could kill. However, Alex already knew some of the things from his past. He even knew a little about his dad, just not what had been happening recently.
Dean looked away, suddenly finding the ceiling unaccountably interesting. "Just the usual, hunting things, saving lives. Hooked back up with my brother. He's traveling with me." He still couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about his father. Time, distance, it was still all there between them, even if they were only just an arms length from each other.
Part 13: “Long Distance Losing”
Authors: art_of_mayhem and candygramme
Rated: NC17 for boy on boy sex.
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Alex Krycek
Spoilers: Vague for the X-Files “Terma” and “Requiem”
Warning: Slash
Word count: 5,522
Disclaimer: Dean and his family belong to Eric Kripke and Supernatural, and Alex belongs to Chris Carter and the X-Files. We own nothing. We are doing this for love and not money.
Author’s notes: After losing contact with each other during the time Sam was at college, Alex and Dean meet again, but now Sam is back and dad’s gone missing.
The quoted song is “Long Distance,” by Turin Brakes.
Part 12
Part 11
Part 10
Part 9
Part 8
Part 7
Part 6
Part 5
Part 4
Part 3
Part 2
Part 1
I let somebody get under my skin,
Long distance losing is all that I’ve seen,
Now there’s a river,
Now there’s a river
They were in the middle of the parking lot, and people were coming and going, but Alex didn't care. He had lifted his hand to cup Dean's cheek, and now he slid it around the back of Dean's head, pulling him forward to kiss him again, his mouth open for Dean to explore. "I don't expect you to believe me, but I love you, Dean. I'll go gentle on your kid brother, but I want you, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to have you, and all I've got to say about your father is fuck him, if that's what he believes. You and me, we deserve each other; we deserve anything that makes us happy."
For a moment, they stood, watching each other, and then Alex reached for Dean's hand. "I've got a room, if you want to come back and... and talk. No expectations, and nothing you don't want. Just... I love you, and if you can bring yourself to go with a cripple, then... let's go."
Dean's heart stilled for a moment. I don't either. The words echoed in his head, reverberating as Alex said those other words, I love you. A tremor ran through Dean, rattling him down to his bones. His insides were fluttering like butterflies. His heart, when it started functioning again, began a rapid beat, as if performing some weird war dance. Everything else around him, the people passing, car doors opening and closing, mini conversations in the distance, all faded away to nothing as he stared at Alex.
Dean looked down as he licked his lips after they finished kissing. "Yeah, let's go." He stepped back anxiously, digging for his keys, and started heading for his car, "And you're not a cripple, Alex," He threw the words back at Alex over his shoulder. He went to his car, and prepared to follow Alex back to where he was staying.
The trip back to the motel was soon over. Weirdly enough, Alex was staying at the same place as Dean and his brother, although their rooms were at different ends of the establishment. As Dean pulled the Impala back into its spot outside the room he shared with Sam, Alex stood and waited for him, holding open the door to his room and watching Dean as he hurried across, his loose-limbed walk still as sexy as ever it was.
"Come on in," murmured Alex, relaxing a little for the first time since they'd met. "I don't have much in the way of refreshments, but we can order in, if you like."
He closed the door behind Dean and turned to face him, eyes wide and dark. "You look even better than I remembered," he said, softly.
Dean hesitated for a moment before stepping into the room. His natural caution, honed by years of hunting with his father had given him that, and he was always cautious for just an instant. He moved inside, stepping to one side as the door closed, and reaching back to lock it.
"Only if you want to," Dean answered finally as he, too, just stood there staring back. "A few more scars," he gave a shrug of his shoulders. Dean finally moved, stepping around Alex and looking about the room then turned to face the man. "Tell me something, Alex... this..." he motioned between them, "Is this gonna just be one of those one-night things. Wake in the morning, go our separate ways. ‘Cause if it is, tell me now. I can't..." His voice choked off and he swallowed down a lump.
Carefully peeling off his long, wool coat, Alex turned and laid it over the back of a chair, then moved over to where Dean still stood, waiting. "I want what you want," he murmured, voice deeper, huskier than usual. "You remember the guy with the cigarettes? The one that was manipulating me? The one I warned you against, back when you got me out of that silo?" Alex stood as close to Dean as he could without touching him, wondering how the confession he was about to make would sit with his lover. When Dean gave a little nod, he continued. "I killed him yesterday. That was the project I wanted to finish up, because I needed to make sure that he never got his clutches into you. Now that he's dead, you won't be in danger, if you decide to be with me."
He waited, wondering if the confession he'd just made would make Dean run screaming.
Dean's eyes followed the movement of the coat as it slid off that fake arm. He didn't return them to Alex, till the other man started moving towards him, still talking. He watched those lips move without actually taking in all of what he was saying. His mind raced, and he gave a little nod, because a part of him remembered. With a blink, he shifted his gaze up to Alex's eyes. "He had no idea who I was, or he would have tried it a long time ago, Alex, and if he’d tried anything, my dad probably would have shot him for it." Dean only half believed what he was saying at that moment, but it sounded reassuring to his own ears.
"The things we are willing to do for the people we love, huh?" He gave a little short laugh mixed with a snort. "I'm always gonna be in danger. As long as that demon is alive, and my family is hunting it, I'm gonna be putting myself out on the line. But at least you aren't... from him. And even if you are..." Dean smiled into Alex's eyes, "You won't be as long as I'm around."
"You, um, salted and burned his bones didn't you? Make sure the job was complete?" He gave Alex that teasing charming half-smirk smile of his.
"Fuck! I should've, shouldn't I?" Alex could feel his insides melting as he saw that smile of Dean's, cocky and sweet, and lighting up the depths of his eyes. "All I could think of was that he'd put you through the stuff he did to me, and I couldn't let that happen."
He dropped to his knees in front of Dean and stole his arm around Dean's hips, leaned his cheek against Dean's stomach and gave a little sigh. "I can't believe that you're here like this. I can't believe that you even want to be with me now that I'm not whole." He remained there, holding Dean, inhaling the warm, Dean scent of him as he knelt.
A little laugh floated from Dean. "Didn't you learn anything from those days you hung out with me?" He'd shifted and had to stop himself from backing up when Alex dropped to his knees. His eyes shifted down, and a hand stole across to rest in Alex's hair as Dean started petting him, "I know it's hard to believe, but you don't have to worship me." Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but it came out anyway. Dean curled his fingers under Alex's chin, lifting it, his thumb caressing Alex's lips. "C'm'ere." He reached down, hooking his arm under one of Alex's to pull him up.
Guiding them both over to sit on the bed, Dean turned to face Alex. "A lot of things happened to me after you left. A hell of a lot." He gave a sigh. "I'm surprised you even want to talk to me." He took Alex's hand, noting that his silver ring was still there. "I was... tempted to call this Mulder of yours several times, but two things stopped me. Dad for one. He probably would have beat the living tar out of me for contacting an FBI agent, even if he is one that chases after little green men, and two... I was scared that if I even mentioned you I would get you into deeper shit."
"You've got that right." Alex sat close to Dean, feeling the warmth of Dean's thigh pressed against his with a kind of desperate joy. "Besides, after Russia, he didn't ever know where I was. I made sure of that." He gave a little laugh. "It was his fault I lost my arm, even if he wasn't actually there when it happened, the cocksucking bastard that he is."
It was sweet, sitting there on the bed with someone he cared about, swapping stories and just being together. Alex, usually terribly careful to keep his one hand free, allowed Dean to capture it, hold it and play with his fingers, all his defenses for the moment down. "That's what I was doing in Bellefleur that day we met at the gas station. I was following Mulder. I was supposed to make sure he found a downed alien ship, but I went one better." He smiled, not a nice smile, and lowered his lashes. "I made sure that they took him. He's going to find out more about aliens than he ever really wanted to know."
"He was the cause of this?" Dean touched the artificial hand before making a face and pulling his hand away. He grasped Alex's real one. "Lucky they took him, or I would have..." Cutting himself off, he frowned. Dean hadn't realized, back in Bellefleur, just how close he'd been to Alex's ex - to the man that had treated him so poorly, and who, in his eyes, was practically responsible for everything that had happened to his lover. If he had only known, those old, protective behaviors would have surfaced, and Dean thought that he would probably be sitting in jail right now.
"Well, I hope he gets enough anal probes that he walks and sits funny." Dean pulled his hand away, getting up and taking off his leather jacket. He threw it onto the chair beside Alex's coat, before sitting back down. "How... how did you lose your arm?" Dean still carried his wounds from the Windigo, but none of them were as dreadful as the one that had severed Alex’s arm.
Sighing, Alex thought back to the day when Mulder had broken them out of the gulag and taken him with him. "It's a long story. He dragged me with him to Russia, on the trail of the aliens, and we were captured by soldiers and thrown into a Gulag. I was flannelling them into believing I was a high up officer in the KGB, and it would've worked, too, because I've got the contacts, but he couldn't let things be for even a day. He broke out and hauled me with him." Alex winced at the memory. "I managed to roll off the truck he'd stolen, and ended up in the wilds - it was like one of Grimm’s Fairy tales. A bunch of villagers found me, and they said they'd help me. Then in the middle of the night, they dragged me out of my sleeping bag and hacked off my left arm with a red hot machete." He shivered. "I've never felt anything like that. I thought I was going to go mad."
The memories were too much. He paused for a moment, face pale. "I... They thought that they were helping me. The concentration camp had been experimenting on the villagers, but they didn't take the crippled, so they were cutting their arms off to keep from being chosen for the experiments."
Dean shook his head as he closed his eyes, as if he could almost feel the pain that Alex had gone through. Everyone around him seemed to suffer but him. His father had suffered with the loss of his mother; Sam with a childhood that was just not by any stretch of the imagination normal, and then, more recently, with the loss of Jessica. And now here was Alex, who had suffered horribly, while he himself was just fine. Nothing had affected him, save for the death of his mother, and at that time Dean had been very young. He might have been only four when it had happened, it was something he wouldn't ever be able to forget.
Dean felt suddenly very small.
Doing the only thing he knew how, Dean placed his arm around Alex and pulled him close, tucking his head under his own chin. "It's over now. Time to move on. From here on."
Warmth surrounded Alex, Dean's body pressing against him, holding him, felt wonderful. For a while he didn't move, merely sat relishing the contact. When he finally stirred, it was to lift his head and find Dean's mouth, sucking his lower lip in so that he could tease it gently with his teeth.
"From here on, you belong to me, and I'm yours, not anyone else's." The words were murmured against Dean's mouth, and Alex began to kiss Dean, little nips and nibbles to begin with, gradually becoming more passionate, more loving, until at last they were kissing, open mouthed and sloppy as their tongues dueled.
Dean didn't resist, didn't fight the contact. If anything he wanted to feel it even more. Slowly, he gave in to that old familiar feeling, flowing into the kiss as he held Alex tighter to him. When Alex pulled back to murmur his soft vow, Dean couldn't think of one thing to say that would counter Alex's words.
Reaching back around, he started undoing Alex's shirt, pushing one button at a time through the tiny holes. Dean wasn't sure if Alex would be willing... with the missing arm so new, but Dean felt he needed to prove to Alex right now that it didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered in the here and now, except for the man in his arms. He couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about Sam... although he was sure that Sam was probably gonna have a few words to say on the matter of who Dean belonged to.
Realizing with a start that Dean was undressing him, Alex froze a little. He felt horribly exposed, the ugly plastic of his prosthetic arm a glaring contrast to Dean's perfect flesh. "Fuck, I don't want you to look at me, Dean," he growled. "Leave me some dignity, man."
He reached for the waistband of Dean's jeans, popping the button and slipping his fingers in to remind himself of Dean's hard flesh and the heat they'd once known together, expecting any minute for Dean to shove him away in disgust.
Dean grabbed Alex's neck, thumb under his chin pushing it up so they were eye to eye. "I don't care, Alex," Dean hissed before latching his teeth onto Alex's neck, nibbling and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He pushed Alex, sending him onto his back as his own body followed. He’d opened Alex’s shirt already so that they could lie skin to skin, and now Dean put his hand down onto Alex's cock, through his jeans, rubbing with the heel of his hand.
Working his way down over Alex's chest, Dean used his nose and chin to push the shirt out of the way. "You missed me; I missed you," he mouthed, sliding off the bed so he could kneel before his lover and work his pants open. He gave a smirk, remembering Alex's words from long ago. "Gonna make you scream for me."
Alex couldn't take his eyes off his lover. Dean's hair was a little shorter now than he had worn it when they'd fought the siren together, and his face was a little more lined, with laugh lines that crinkled around his eyes as he looked up at Alex. The pressure against his groin as Dean started to massage his cock through his pants made Alex shiver, and as Dean pulled his clothing open he couldn't hold back the little moans and groans that were beginning to emanate from him.
"Won't take long, I bet. It's been a while since I went with anyone." Alex gave a shaky laugh. "I bet you I'll pop like a fifteen year old with a centerfold."
Dean got Alex's pants open. In the years they had been apart, Dean, as Sam would no doubt tell Alex later, had been more of a slut than normal, but he had never been with another man since Alex. "Fifteen year old, huh, guess I’d better move quickly then." Dean pulled at Alex’s pants and had them down low enough that he was easily able to get at Alex's hard flesh as he revealed it.
Dean breathed on Alex and then without hesitation curled a greedy hand around his cock, grasping it firmly and pulling it towards him. There wasn't much foreplay in this encounter; Dean took Alex into his mouth, sucking him hard and moaning, his voice sending vibrations around Alex’s flesh.
It didn't take long. Dean hadn't lost any of his skill, and Alex had been waiting a very long time for this. Silken heat surrounded him as Dean swallowed him down, pulling on him, sucking hard, lavishing attention on his cock and balls. Alex arched, head thrashing from side to side as he felt Dean suck the juices out of him.
Trembling fingers ran through Dean's hair, clutching without purchase on the short strands. There was a brief silence, during which time sucking and slurping noises were heard, and then Alex did begin to beg, murmuring sweet obscenities at Dean as he drew closer and closer to his orgasm. "Gotta come, Dean. Need you so bad. Oh, God, suck me! Fuck, right there!"
Dean didn't let up - couldn’t have stopped if he’d tried. He used every skill he could remember to get his one time lover off. He glanced up at him, drinking in the look on his face, adoring the feel of Alex’s hand in his hair. With teeth and tongue he worked Alex a little more before sliding his mouth completely over his cock and drinking him down.
Once Alex was finally finished, Dean slowly pulled off, coming up to kiss his lover deeply.
Alex lay panting, helpless, spread-eagled across his bed. When Dean clambered up to lie against him and kiss him, he closed his eyes and clung to his long lost love as if he would never again be able to let go of him. "My God! You're better than ever." He tugged at Dean's T-shirt, pulling it out of his pants so that he could run his hands over the skin of his back. "Oh, man, fate's cruel. We could've had this for all that time."
Dean kept his kisses lazy and slow. He was getting to know Alex all over again - refamiliarizing himself with his lover’s body as he stroked his hand over his chest. "Well, if I ever run into Fate... I'll be sure to let her know." He kissed Alex’s mouth again before tipping his head for his lover to nip at. Dean missed feeling both of Alex's arms around him, but it was okay, he was still head over heels in love with him, even with an arm missing.
They squirmed against each other, mouth on mouth, their kisses lazier and less frantic as they reacquainted themselves with the feel and touch of each other's bodies. Alex nipped at Dean's neck. "Any chance you might get naked for me?" he asked softly. "I'm gonna die, if you don't fuck me."
Pushing away a little bit, Dean sat up, removing his outer shirt first and then taking off his tee shirt. Dean had a few more scars than before but nothing as hideous as the scar that Alex had. Reaching down, Dean pulled his boots off and then transferred his attentions to the removal of his pants. "Now don't you die on me, not while your luck is this good. I want to take you down to the local gas station and get some lottery tickets." He smirked as he stood to pull his pants off.
"Now, let's crank this up to eleven shall we?" As he was speaking, he had begun working on getting Alex's pants the rest of the way off.
Laughing, Alex let Dean undress him, lifting his hips obligingly, sitting forward to allow the shirt to be removed, but then cringing as he lay naked, the stump of his missing limb plainly visible. "I've got to take the damned thing off to sleep," he growled, indicating his prosthetic arm. "The fucking thing gives me blisters." He lay waiting for Dean to back away, to find him gross and ugly. Dean merely lay down, stretching out on Alex's left so that his lover's right hand had free range of movement.
Alex, grateful for Dean's thoughtfulness, reached down to squeeze his cock, scooping a little strand of pre-come onto his fingers. Lifting his hand, he began to stroke it onto first one nipple, and then the other, before bending forwards to begin licking and sucking at them. "Eleven, you say? I'm dialing here. See if we can kick things up at least one extra notch."
Dean didn't feel repulsed or put off by the lack of Alex's arm. If anything it made him want to prove to Alex he wanted him still. He couldn’t resist giving a little, sexy purr as Alex leaned into to suck on him. A hand slid behind Alex's head, playing in his short locks. He gave a chuckle, then another moan. "I think you just did, baby." He pushed his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes for a moment before lifting it and looking back down. "Fuck, I nearly forgot how good your mouth really was."
"It's the best, baby! You'd better believe it." Alex slid his tongue down over the thick vein that ran the length of Dean's dick. "But you're gonna have to hold it for me, please, if you don't want me to fall on my ass. It's never occurred to me just what a handicap to good sex missing a wing could be." He lowered himself so that he could attack Dean's balls, running his tongue over them, nibbling at the loose skin until it drew up to stand out in ridges. "I forgot just how good you tasted. God, Dean, I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you again."
Moving still lower, Alex ran his tongue around Dean's tightly puckered hole, first tickling, then pushing his tongue inside.
Dean didn't mind having to do a few things just to feel his lover against him once again. Already he was thinking of other ways, other positions they could get into, but he stopped thinking altogether when Alex started sucking upon him. "Oh fuck," he groaned, lifting his hips. Dean looked down at Alex, then threw his head back once again, feeling as if he couldn't take too much more. "Alex... Alex, please... come up here." He reached down, pulling Alex up to him, kissing him as he rolled him to his back.
"Want you," he breathed moving over Alex to pull his legs up and open him. Dean should have worked his lover open - should have stretched him as much as he could before doing what he was beginning to do now. Dean was pushing his cock right into Alex's entrance, his mouth covering his lover’s in a deep and hungry kiss.
There was pain, but Alex welcomed it. Dean's cock felt as if it was splitting him wide, and Alex lay back, breathing long, shallow breaths as he tried to relax into the slow press home, needing Dean to own him.
Dean was careful, and was soon buried deep inside Alex, feeling his balls press against his lover's buttocks as he paused, getting accustomed to the tight squeeze of the thick muscle around his cock.
"I used to dream of this," confessed Alex, between long, luscious kisses. "I used to dream that you and I hadn't lost each other, and we were still together. God, Dean..." He pulled Dean back to him, nipping at the ghost hunter's full lips. "I've never wanted anything the way I want you now."
Dean couldn't stop kissing Alex. Not with his cock sinking so deep in him. Finally he succeeded in allowing himself to give this man some air, giving Alex the chance to speak. Dean gave a harsh chuckle, trying to ignore the fact that he’d caused both Alex and himself some pain with the dry entry; he was going to have to remember not to let his hormones take over his thought processes in the future.
With a gasp, Dean shook his head, "Had nothing better to dream of? Guess I should be flattered." He started to move his hips, slowly drawing back to get his cock to slide out then push back in. The fuck was slow and sensual as he concentrated on drawing it out. God yes, Dean had really missed this. He’d missed feeling Alex under him, missed hearing him panting and moaning.
"Jeez, you are so fucking tight!" Dean moaned the words, letting his head fall forward as he concentrated.
"Guess that's because you're so fucking huge," said Alex, a little smile on his face. There was pain, and Alex welcomed the hurt, because it had been so long since he'd had anything like this, and because it was Dean causing it.
"Would it be possible for you to slow down a little, while I get used to it?" Alex wrapped his legs around Dean, crossed his ankles behind his waist and concentrated on relaxing into the onslaught. Dean was so beautiful, his need written on his features, etched into the snarl he wore as he fucked Alex, and that alone made Alex high, prickles of arousal beginning to grab him and take him out of the pain and into the pleasure.
Dean stopped for a moment. Perhaps he was more eager than he thought, and maybe he missed Alex more than he could admit, even to himself. With Alex's legs locked behind him, Dean leaned upon one arm, using his other hand to caress over Alex's side. He could feel a few new scars, small imperfections in the smoothskin.
He had bent his head to look down their bodies. Dean hadn't thought this moment would ever happen again. That he would be able to look down and see his talisman swing between them again, brushing Alex's skin when he dipped lower. "Is that better?" He asked. "Just be aware that I don't do this for just everyone."
Laughing, Alex blew him a kiss. "I should hope not. You'd wear your dick to a nub, and that would be bad." The position he was in didn't give him much opportunity to move, but he managed a little sideways wriggle of his hips which demonstrated his eagerness. "If anyone is going to wear out your dick, that person is going to be me!
As Dean started to move again, Alex moaned, feelings were stirring inside him that he'd ruthlessly put down so many years back. He wasn't sure if getting back with Dean was going to be a good thing or not. Already he was wondering if he'd just ruined all his carefully constructed defenses, and somewhere in the back of his mind he was trying to decide whether love was worth it, or whether to cut his losses and run.
He could feel Dean's cock sliding over his sweet spot, and the familiar tingles that would lead to orgasm were starting to build. He put his one hand out to touch Dean's lips, and whispered, "I love you, Dean." And inside, he was crying.
Dean was moving once again, feeling the full length of his cock reaching deep inside Alex before drawing almost free. A little more experienced in lovemaking now, Dean knew just how to angle his hips. He knew right were to find that sweet spot, without having to search like he had to once upon a time. His hand, which had also been caressing skin, was now curled around a stiff shaft that was leaking, getting his fingers wet as he pulled at the skin.
Pausing for just a moment, Dean shivered. If Alex only knew what his words were doing to him inside, but over the years of their separation, he’d managed to rebuild those walls of his, stronger than ever, thanks to his brother and his dad. What Dean had always feared most, had already happened. "I know you do," was all he could say. It wasn’t the most heartfelt response he could have given, but Dean had decided some time ago that he mustn't get close to anyone ever again.
Teeth biting one of Alex's fingers, Dean used his tongue to separate them out so he could suck on one of them. He could feel his own release drawing closer as the two of them worked their way towards completion. It wasn't going to take very much longer at this rate.
The stimulation was becoming unbearable, and Alex bucked against Dean, helplessly taking whatever Dean gave him, wanting more and fearing it even as he craved. Dean's hand on his cock was perfect, driving him crazy as the two of them plunged towards their orgasm.
When his balls tightened and he felt his climax sparking through him, Alex cried out, his body shuddering through the pleasure that was consuming him. Dean's face was closed off, his expression remote as he approached his own orgasm, and Alex wanted to scratch, to bite, to do something that would remind his lover that this was him, Alex Krycek, and not some faceless fuck.
Dean felt his own body tighten. Every muscle in him seemed to clamp down tight and make his whole body shake with the utter force of his release. Teeth were clenched as his head was bent. He too wanted to bite, to leave a mark, but he didn't. Instead, he felt the sure ecstasy wash over his body, every muscle throbbing with the blood that sang through him. When it was finally over, he gasped a deep breath before forcing himself to push away, pull out and then drop down beside his lover.
With one hand on Alex’s chest, he panted for air. "Shit," came the whispered curse. He wasn’t sure if he was saying it because he’d made a mistake or because his brain had been fried. Dean had forgotten how sex with Alex could turn him into a pile of goo.
"You took the word right out of my mouth!" gasped Alex, sweaty and panting from their exertions. He let his legs drop back to the bed and slid his arm around Dean's shoulders to hold him close. "That was pretty fucking hot," he mumbled. "You ought to be bottled and sold as an aphrodisiac." He rolled a little, turning so that he lay on his damaged left side, facing Dean.
Lust slaked for the moment, Alex studied Dean, seeing new shadows around his eyes, new lines that spoke of pain suffered, and new scars. "So tell me what you've been up to since we battled the sirens," he murmured at last. "I bet you've saved the heck out of people since then."
Dean turned his head, eyes seeming to examine the man next to him. Instantly a lie leapt to mind as he tried to decide just what to tell him. Of course he could say that he’d been road-tripping with his brother - just going around, seeing what kind of bad thing they could kill. However, Alex already knew some of the things from his past. He even knew a little about his dad, just not what had been happening recently.
Dean looked away, suddenly finding the ceiling unaccountably interesting. "Just the usual, hunting things, saving lives. Hooked back up with my brother. He's traveling with me." He still couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about his father. Time, distance, it was still all there between them, even if they were only just an arms length from each other.