Forbidden Love Chapter 21
Title: Forbidden Love
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
Yamada was silent for a moment while staring at a middle-aged woman in front of him who was smiling kindly at him.
“Excuse me, can I see Yuya?”
The middle-aged woman was still smiling but said nothing. She opened the door widely and gave Yamada a sign to follow her.
“Come on in.”
Yamada felt the doubt crept into his heart, but still he stepped inside the house when the middle-aged woman pulled his arm gently, led to sit on a chair. He felt a little nervous when the old woman stared at him in silent for a moment.
“I’m sorry, but can I see Yuya? There’s something very important I should tell him.”
The middle-aged woman smiled again. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating so sudden. He blinked many times without saying anything. He wanted to ask but didn’t dare to do it. He was too afraid that he would say something wrong.
The middle-aged woman took a very deep breathe. “Chinen came here too yesterday. He asked the same question with you.”
Yamada looked to his feet and suddenly felt defeated.
Yuri had already come here. I should have known where to look for Yuya. Do I really love him? Why did I not even of looking for him here from the start?
“We also can’t contact him for the past few days. His phone’s off. It’s totally inactive. We also didn’t find him in his apartment. We are also confused where to find him. We’ve called all of his friends but no one knows where he is. We are also very confused.”
Yamada suddenly felt blown away. All the hope he had disappeared instantly. His body suddenly felt powerless. He closed his eyes to hold back the tears that suddenly filled his eyes. He looked at his feet and took a very deep breath.
Where are you?
He looked at the woman and stood up unsteadily.
“Then forgive me. I excuse myself.”
“Yamada ...”
Yamada bowed to excuse himself without heeding the middle-aged woman’s call. He walked half heartedly to the door.
“Ryosuke ... “
His heart stopped hearing the call. He stopped right in front of the door and didn’t dare to move.
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
Yamada stayed still in his place. He didn’t dare to turn around.
“The most important person for Yuya, it’s you, isn’t it?”
The world around him collapsed instantly. He closed his eyes and could clearly see the collapse. He gritted his teeth hard. His heart was beating fast.
“I knew from the very start that Yuya is not straight. I’ve tried hard to change him. We tried hard to get him back on track, but fate said different. He stays not straight.”
Yamada blinked many times and hoped that the earth would swallowed him alive. He suddenly knelt down.
“Ryosuke ...”
The middle-aged woman chased after him and held his shoulder.
Yamada turned around and began to cry.
“I’m sorry ..., I’m sorry. I’ve made Yuya leave. I’ve made Yuya disappear. I’m the one who made Yuya doesn’t want to talk to everyone.”
The woman reached for his arm and pulled him gently. “Get up, please. I don’t know what’s going on, so get up and tell me.”
Yamada raised his head and wiped his tears away. He got up and tried hard to be composed.
“I told him to end our relationship because we would be bashed by the people if still continue it. No one will accept us if we still keep this relationship on. We will be ostracized. JUMP will suffer too if we don’t stop. Yuya repeatedly said that to me, on and on, but I kept insisting that everything was fine, that we can find a way, turned out finally I agreed him after some times. I suddenly realized that he was totally right, that we had crossed the line.
The middle-aged woman sighed. She began to understand the situation.
“I should still not agree. I should have been determined to maintain what we already have. I should still insist on continuing what we have been fighting for. I must have hurt Yuya. He must felt so hurt that he couldn’t help it, and decided to go away from everything. He certainly couldn’t withstand the pain until he decided to disappear. He must feel so hurt that he decides to leave everyone behind..”
The middle-aged woman caressed Yamada’s arm gently, but said nothing. She herself was also confused about what to say. She knew very well how the society worked. She had been a part of it for a long time. She knew very well what would happen to her child if they found out that he’s not straight. She knew very well what kind of punishment he would receive. That’s why for years she tried to make him back to his track, because she didn’t want her son to be suffered.
But she failed.
She also couldn’t deny that people’s heart couldn’t be directed where to go. She knew very well that if feelings had chosen, no one could deny. No one could force the will of feelings.
She sighed and looked at Yamada intently. “Do you still want him?”
Yamada was stunned. He stared at the middle-aged woman in silent, tried hard to comprehend the question.
“Do you still love him?”
Yamada gulped deeply before nodding with certainty. “Yes. I still love him.” He said it firmly. There’s no hesitation in his words.
“Then find him and say that to him. Don’t stop. Keep looking until you find him and say it to him. Then tie him so he can’t go anywhere anymore. Tie him tightly so he can’t no longer go away from you. Prove me that he will be okay no matter what will happen later. Prove me that you don’t plan to mess around with him. Prove me that you really love him. Prove me that I took the right decision to let him go with the right person. Prove me that he will be happy with you.”
Yamada lost his words. He looked at the middle-aged woman intently.
“Find Yuya and tell him that you won’t be separated again, that you will face the world together, and will not leave one another.”
Like getting new strength, Yamada straightened his body. He gulped hard and nodded with certainty, then walked out in confident that he could find Yuya no matter what. He had to tell Yuya that he didn’t want to be parted from him. He had to tell Yuya that they shouldn’t be separated again. They had to spent the rest of their life together and shouldn’t be separated ever again.
Still, he couldn’t find him anywhere.
Yamada opened the door and stopped right away when he saw everybody was stoned in the room. He silently closed the door again and stood silently in front of the door for a moment.
He was confused. He was very sure that they were waiting for him to come with a good news. They must have a big hope that he would find Yuya.
Yamada closed his eyes and shifted. He leaned his body against the wall next to the door and let his body sank to the floor. He sat down. Tears began to flow again. He lowered his head between his legs and cried silently.
Forgive me. I can’t find him.
He didn’t know for how long he had sat there until a touch made him look up. His heart suddenly stopped beating when a questionable face looked at him worriedly.
“What are you doing here? You still have my key, right? Why don’t you just go inside?”
Yamada blinked many times, trying to convince himself that his eyes weren’t wrong, that he wasn’t dreaming, that he really saw the person he was looking for with all his might standing right in front of him, waiting for him to answer his questions.
“Ryosuke?”
“Where have you been?”
He asked him back instead of answering the questions.
Before the figure could give Yamada the answer, the door opened wide and everyone suddenly stood in disbelief before him.
“Yuya!”
“Where have you been?”
Takaki blinked many times, didn’t know what to say, and not believing that everybody was in his apartment. He gaped even more when two faces were even smiling broadly at him.
“Ryu? Keito? What are you two doing here?”
Ryu and Keito looked at each other and smiled while shaking their head.
“Shouldn’t you be the one to explain where you have been for the past three days?”
This time, Takaki smiled shyly. He scratched the of his head which wasn’t itchy. “I’m floating in the ocean because I’m out of fuel.”
“What?”
“My cellphone died because the battery ran out, and even though I shouted, no one came because I’m in the middle of the ocean.”
“Huh?”
“But a fishing boat that happened to pass by helped me and drove me to the harbor.”
“What?!!!!!”
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
Yamada was silent for a moment while staring at a middle-aged woman in front of him who was smiling kindly at him.
“Excuse me, can I see Yuya?”
The middle-aged woman was still smiling but said nothing. She opened the door widely and gave Yamada a sign to follow her.
“Come on in.”
Yamada felt the doubt crept into his heart, but still he stepped inside the house when the middle-aged woman pulled his arm gently, led to sit on a chair. He felt a little nervous when the old woman stared at him in silent for a moment.
“I’m sorry, but can I see Yuya? There’s something very important I should tell him.”
The middle-aged woman smiled again. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Yamada could feel his heart stopped beating so sudden. He blinked many times without saying anything. He wanted to ask but didn’t dare to do it. He was too afraid that he would say something wrong.
The middle-aged woman took a very deep breathe. “Chinen came here too yesterday. He asked the same question with you.”
Yamada looked to his feet and suddenly felt defeated.
Yuri had already come here. I should have known where to look for Yuya. Do I really love him? Why did I not even of looking for him here from the start?
“We also can’t contact him for the past few days. His phone’s off. It’s totally inactive. We also didn’t find him in his apartment. We are also confused where to find him. We’ve called all of his friends but no one knows where he is. We are also very confused.”
Yamada suddenly felt blown away. All the hope he had disappeared instantly. His body suddenly felt powerless. He closed his eyes to hold back the tears that suddenly filled his eyes. He looked at his feet and took a very deep breath.
Where are you?
He looked at the woman and stood up unsteadily.
“Then forgive me. I excuse myself.”
“Yamada ...”
Yamada bowed to excuse himself without heeding the middle-aged woman’s call. He walked half heartedly to the door.
“Ryosuke ... “
His heart stopped hearing the call. He stopped right in front of the door and didn’t dare to move.
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
Yamada stayed still in his place. He didn’t dare to turn around.
“The most important person for Yuya, it’s you, isn’t it?”
The world around him collapsed instantly. He closed his eyes and could clearly see the collapse. He gritted his teeth hard. His heart was beating fast.
“I knew from the very start that Yuya is not straight. I’ve tried hard to change him. We tried hard to get him back on track, but fate said different. He stays not straight.”
Yamada blinked many times and hoped that the earth would swallowed him alive. He suddenly knelt down.
“Ryosuke ...”
The middle-aged woman chased after him and held his shoulder.
Yamada turned around and began to cry.
“I’m sorry ..., I’m sorry. I’ve made Yuya leave. I’ve made Yuya disappear. I’m the one who made Yuya doesn’t want to talk to everyone.”
The woman reached for his arm and pulled him gently. “Get up, please. I don’t know what’s going on, so get up and tell me.”
Yamada raised his head and wiped his tears away. He got up and tried hard to be composed.
“I told him to end our relationship because we would be bashed by the people if still continue it. No one will accept us if we still keep this relationship on. We will be ostracized. JUMP will suffer too if we don’t stop. Yuya repeatedly said that to me, on and on, but I kept insisting that everything was fine, that we can find a way, turned out finally I agreed him after some times. I suddenly realized that he was totally right, that we had crossed the line.
The middle-aged woman sighed. She began to understand the situation.
“I should still not agree. I should have been determined to maintain what we already have. I should still insist on continuing what we have been fighting for. I must have hurt Yuya. He must felt so hurt that he couldn’t help it, and decided to go away from everything. He certainly couldn’t withstand the pain until he decided to disappear. He must feel so hurt that he decides to leave everyone behind..”
The middle-aged woman caressed Yamada’s arm gently, but said nothing. She herself was also confused about what to say. She knew very well how the society worked. She had been a part of it for a long time. She knew very well what would happen to her child if they found out that he’s not straight. She knew very well what kind of punishment he would receive. That’s why for years she tried to make him back to his track, because she didn’t want her son to be suffered.
But she failed.
She also couldn’t deny that people’s heart couldn’t be directed where to go. She knew very well that if feelings had chosen, no one could deny. No one could force the will of feelings.
She sighed and looked at Yamada intently. “Do you still want him?”
Yamada was stunned. He stared at the middle-aged woman in silent, tried hard to comprehend the question.
“Do you still love him?”
Yamada gulped deeply before nodding with certainty. “Yes. I still love him.” He said it firmly. There’s no hesitation in his words.
“Then find him and say that to him. Don’t stop. Keep looking until you find him and say it to him. Then tie him so he can’t go anywhere anymore. Tie him tightly so he can’t no longer go away from you. Prove me that he will be okay no matter what will happen later. Prove me that you don’t plan to mess around with him. Prove me that you really love him. Prove me that I took the right decision to let him go with the right person. Prove me that he will be happy with you.”
Yamada lost his words. He looked at the middle-aged woman intently.
“Find Yuya and tell him that you won’t be separated again, that you will face the world together, and will not leave one another.”
Like getting new strength, Yamada straightened his body. He gulped hard and nodded with certainty, then walked out in confident that he could find Yuya no matter what. He had to tell Yuya that he didn’t want to be parted from him. He had to tell Yuya that they shouldn’t be separated again. They had to spent the rest of their life together and shouldn’t be separated ever again.
Still, he couldn’t find him anywhere.
Yamada opened the door and stopped right away when he saw everybody was stoned in the room. He silently closed the door again and stood silently in front of the door for a moment.
He was confused. He was very sure that they were waiting for him to come with a good news. They must have a big hope that he would find Yuya.
Yamada closed his eyes and shifted. He leaned his body against the wall next to the door and let his body sank to the floor. He sat down. Tears began to flow again. He lowered his head between his legs and cried silently.
Forgive me. I can’t find him.
He didn’t know for how long he had sat there until a touch made him look up. His heart suddenly stopped beating when a questionable face looked at him worriedly.
“What are you doing here? You still have my key, right? Why don’t you just go inside?”
Yamada blinked many times, trying to convince himself that his eyes weren’t wrong, that he wasn’t dreaming, that he really saw the person he was looking for with all his might standing right in front of him, waiting for him to answer his questions.
“Ryosuke?”
“Where have you been?”
He asked him back instead of answering the questions.
Before the figure could give Yamada the answer, the door opened wide and everyone suddenly stood in disbelief before him.
“Yuya!”
“Where have you been?”
Takaki blinked many times, didn’t know what to say, and not believing that everybody was in his apartment. He gaped even more when two faces were even smiling broadly at him.
“Ryu? Keito? What are you two doing here?”
Ryu and Keito looked at each other and smiled while shaking their head.
“Shouldn’t you be the one to explain where you have been for the past three days?”
This time, Takaki smiled shyly. He scratched the of his head which wasn’t itchy. “I’m floating in the ocean because I’m out of fuel.”
“What?”
“My cellphone died because the battery ran out, and even though I shouted, no one came because I’m in the middle of the ocean.”
“Huh?”
“But a fishing boat that happened to pass by helped me and drove me to the harbor.”
“What?!!!!!”