[FIC] The Second Hand Unwinds for edom56
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: The Second Hand Unwinds
Author: dauntperplexity
Recipient: edom56
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 10,105
Warnings: nudity, references to sex
Spoilers: None
Summary: Castiel Novak fell back into Dean Winchester’s world the first day of their freshman year in high school. Dean knew that he was screwed.
Author notes: Prompt: High school AU. Thanks to the mods at deancas-xmas for putting this together. To edom56, I hope you enjoy.
Whenever people would say that Dean was an impatient person, he’d always laugh. Sure, there were many things in the world that he was impatient about. Slow drivers, waiting in line, getting his food at restaurants. But when it mattered, Dean was the most patient person in the world.
If the outcome was always this good, he could learn to be patient about a lot more in his life. Honestly, this moment was worth the wait.
He woke up to find himself lying on a bed in a hotel room. He was naked. And he wasn’t alone. He looked over and saw the person he loved lying next to him.
He rolled over to his side and scooted behind Castiel. He wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close. He felt the body he held tremble.
“You awake, Cas?” Dean whispered. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the back of Castiel’s neck.
“You know I am,” Castiel replied.
It was true. He always knew when Castiel was awake. “You okay?” He watched Castiel nod twice, but that wasn’t enough. “Cas, are you okay?” Dean repeated. The fact that Castiel didn’t give him an answer meant that his thoughts were racing.
“How long have you known?”
“Known what?” Dean asked.
Castiel let out a shaky breath. He brought his hand up and put it on Dean’s. He weaved his fingers in between Dean’s and squeezed. “That you felt this way about me?”
“A long time.” Years. But he wasn’t about to tell Castiel that. Not yet at least.
--------------
Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak were childhood best friends. They lived in the same neighborhood and were always over at each other’s house. They would play with their cars and building blocks and other boy stuff. But Dean’s favorite thing they would do were together was when they would lie down in the backyard and looked at the clouds. Dean’s job was to name what the clouds were, and Castiel’s job was to make up stories for the shapes Dean named.
They played on the same soccer and t-ball team and their parents knew better than to try and separate them. When they finally went to school, randomly, they were always put in the same class.
When they were seven, Castiel and his family moved away because of their his dad’s job. Dean was heartbroken. He cried every night for a week and a half until he felt like there were no more tears left for him to cry.
Every night, Dean sat in his mom’s lap as she rocked him, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm him. “He has to come back, mom,” Dean cried, grabbing onto his mother’s shirt.
Mary cradled Dean’s head to her chest. She hated seeing her son so sad and she didn’t know what she could do about it. “Dean.”
“But I love him.”
Mary gasped at her son’s admission, but she quickly recovered. She knew that Dean and Castiel were close, but for Dean to use it to describe their relationship was shocking. “Dean, I know that Cas was your best friend.”
“I love him. You say it to dad all the time. I love him like you love dad.”
Mary sighed. She knew that Dean was always an emotional child even though he tried not to show it. “It’ll be okay, baby. I swear.” Even though she knew it would take a long time for him to get over this loss.
“It has to be.”
“I promise, baby,” she said, kissing the crown of her son’s head. She rocked him through his tears until she fell asleep in his arms.
Over the next few weeks, Dean cried a little less. Eventually, he stopped crying all together. He found new friends, and even claimed a few of them to be his best friends.
But he never forgot about Castiel Novak. Not for one second.
--------------
Castiel Novak fell back into Dean Winchester’s world the first day of their freshman year in high school. He was sitting in homeroom, talking to the other people on the football team who happened to share homeroom with him. He sat and waited as their teacher did the attendance.
“Novak, Castiel,” Mrs. Harvelle yelled above the loud students.
Dean felt his heart drop down to his pinky toe. He stopped talking to his teammates and looked around. Then he saw him. A student sitting in the front of classroom, right in the middle desk. He raised his hand in the air.
“Here,” he whispered.
He knew that he was staring, but he couldn’t stop. From where he was sitting, all he could see was the back of Castiel’s head. He felt someone punch him in the arm and he turned to glare at Jake. “What?” he growled.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Jake asked.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Talley, Jake,” Mrs. Harvelle called.
“Here,” Jake said. “So, do you think they’re moving you up to varsity or not?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t really care,” Dean replied. He really didn’t. He just wanted to play football.
“And I know you’re here, Dean,” Mrs. Harvelle said, finishing off the roll call.
Dean had to smirk. Mrs. Harvelle’s daughter, Jo and Sam were the same age. They were really good friends, which meant that Mrs. Harvelle had seen a lot of Dean before she ever had him in his class. He had a feeling Mrs. Harvelle requested for him to be in her homeroom because she knew she’d be the only teacher who would be able to handle him. “Thanks.”
The bell rang and the kids rushed out of the room. Dean stayed back, watching as the boy who answered to Castiel packed up his bag. Soon, they were the only ones left in the classroom.
Dean approached his classmate slowly, like he would an animal in the wild. He was cautious. “Cas?” he whispered. His voice sounded nothing like his own. “Do you remember me?”
The stranger turned around. As soon as their eyes met, Dean knew that it was his childhood best friend.
“Dean,” Castiel replied with a soft smile on his face. He jumped forward and threw his arms around his childhood best friend. He held on for a moment before he realized what he was doing. Then he stepped back. “I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t okay.”
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. “It’s fine.” He couldn’t stop the smile that broke across his face. He looked at his friend. Looking past the unkempt, dark brown hair, and thick glasses, he could see the Castiel he knew years ago. “You’re back?” He could feel his heart pounding in his ears. He hoped his entire body wasn’t shaking.
“Father retired. He’s a writer now. He and mom chose to move us back here.”
“Still living in the same house?”
“Same house.”
“That’s great.”
Castiel zipped his bag closed and threw it over his shoulder. “Somehow we ended up in the same class again.”
“Weird, isn’t it,” Dean asked, scratching the back of his head. Honestly, it was a little peculiar that they ended up together in a class. It had to mean something. “I guess some things never change.”
“I guess not.”
“Hey, what time is your lunch period?”
“I have the first block.”
“Me too,” Dean smiled. “You should come sit with me and my friends.” He was glad. He knew there was a lot that the two of them had to catch up on.
“I’d like that.”
“Cool,” Dean said with a smile. The warning bell sounded. “I guess we should get to class.”
“Yes, we should.” Castiel looked at the schedule in his hand.
Dean grabbed it when he saw Castiel having trouble trying to decipher it. “Room 28,” he said, pointing down the hall. “We have English and History together. Nice. I’ll see you in class.”
“Okay,” Castiel replied, then headed down the hall.
Dean couldn’t help but stare at his friend as he walked away. He was pulled out of his staring when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He saw Mrs. Harvelle standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. He looked at a clock on the wall and saw that he had two minutes to get to class.
He took off running to his first period. He could not believe Castiel was back. It made him unbelievably happy. Then all the feelings from when he was seven years old came flooding back. He knew that he was screwed.
A few weeks passed and he stood in the locker room with his football teammates after practice. The coaches had decided to move him up to varsity, which was fine with him. They felt that he was good enough to be the second-string running back. He may have even been starting by the end of the season. It was a rare accomplishment for a freshman.
Since he was on the team, he was free from the football team picking on the fresh meat in the school. He had his own hazing that he had to deal with.
When he heard the older players start naming the freshmen who were on their list for their annual prank, his heart rate picked up. When he heard them say Novak, he had to speak up. “You don’t touch Castiel,” he said.
“Dean, no freshman is off limits,” his teammate, Gordon Walker, replied.
“You don’t touch Castiel Novak. If anyone does, I’m quitting the team.”
“You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack,” Dean replied. They were catching up on the years they had been apart, and Dean was falling in love with him again; or at least the love was rekindling because he wasn’t sure if he ever stopped. Because of that, his protective streak was starting to show.
A senior named Baldur walked up to Dean, and put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s some loyalty you have there, Dean.”
“Yeah, loyalty,” Dean mumbled.
“What, do you like him or something?” Gordon asked.
Dean’s eyes darkened. “What does it matter?” He knew that he was getting defensive, but if Gordon was going to be a dick, he wasn’t going to sit back and take it.
“Do you?”
“Would it matter if I do?”
“Walker, stop being such a homophobe,” junior, Marshall Hall, replied. He walked over to Gordon and pushed him. “Don’t be mad at Winchester because he has a legitimate shot at taking your starting position.”
“He’s a freshman.”
“I don’t see age,” their coach, Rufus Turner said. “I see skill level. If he’s better than you, he’s moving up the ladder.”
“Look, Dean,” Baldur said. “Football is a team sport. You need to trust your teammates. And you have to have some sense of loyalty. If you don’t want us to mess with one of your friends, we won’t.”
“Thanks,” Dean replied, relieved.
“But don’t get mad at us when we give you a harder time because of it.”
Dean smiled. He could take it. And he did. Even when the same rules applied during baseball season.
Once Dean was sure Castiel was safe from the torment of his teammates, he took the time to get to reknow his friend. They were over at each other’s house every day either doing homework, watching something on TV, or just hanging out.
Dean found out that Castiel took after his dad. He was a storyteller. Dean wasn’t surprised, especially after the stories he’d make up when they were younger. Castiel had an active imagination.
Castiel was good at almost everything that had to do with art. Drawing, music, stories. The only ability that escaped him was his dancing. Castiel tried out for every production the school put on. He was cast in all of them, not necessarily the main part, but some role.
Dean was the one who helped Castiel learn his lines whenever he was cast into a play. That was, when he wasn’t with his girlfriend, Jamie. Even though he had a girlfriend, he spent more time with Castiel than he did with her. He didn’t mind it one bit. They had eight years to catch up on. And they did.
It was almost as if Castiel never left.
--------------
Sophomore year, when he was struggling in more that one of his classes, Dean asked Castiel to be his tutor. He always wondered why Castiel didn’t murder him a month into their agreement.
“I’m going to fail everything,” Dean groaned, throwing a sheet of paper into the air. It must have been the hundredth time he’d said that during one of their tutoring sessions.
“You’re not going to fail,” Castiel replied, picking the paper off of the floor. He put it back in front of Dean.
“I’m not as smart as you, Cas,” he mumbled, dragging his hands down his face.
“Yes, you are. You’re just lazy.”
“I’m not lazy,” Dean whined with a pout.
“And you’re in denial.”
“Whatever, Cas,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “You’re the only one who thinks that I’ll pass these classes.”
“It isn’t because you aren’t smart. Dean, I am your tutor. You will not fail,” he said, adamant. “If you fail, how bad will that make me look?”
Dean leaned back against the chair, tipping it on the hind two legs. He stretched his arms, reaching for the sky and almost hitting Castiel in the face. “I feel like with that kind of promise, I should be paying you.”
Castiel put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and pushed him and the chair back down. “You get the best friend discount.”
“How much would you charge me if I wasn’t your friend?”
“I probably wouldn’t tutor you at all.”
“Lucky me, then,” Dean replied with a smile.
“Yeah, very lucky,” Castiel replied. He grabbed the pencil that was about to roll off the top of the desk Dean sat at and held it out to Dean. “Now stop getting distracted. Finish your geometry.”
Dean grabbed the pencil, tried, and failed to hide his smile. He got back to work. He didn’t want to disappoint Castiel.
This was also the year that Dean had to put up with a lot of crap from the upper classmen for hanging out with the likes of Castiel. As the first string running back on the varsity team, Dean had a reputation to uphold.
Especially since Gordon wasn’t too happy being second string to an underclassmen. He knew he couldn’t do anything to Dean, so he took the opportunity to pick on Castiel every chance Dean wasn’t around.
Castiel, being the more patient and mature person, just ignored it. Dean, on the other hand, took matters into his own hands.
He knew that he couldn’t do anything to Gordon during school, so he waited until practice one day. He asked his coach to let him play defense against the second string. The coaches knew that he was up to something, but Dean said that he never got to play defense, so he’d like to see what he was missing. Reluctantly, the coaches put him in and warned him if he got hurt, then he’d be moved down to third string for the rest of the season.
The first play that Gordon got the ball, Dean ran at him full speed. He flattened out Gordon and stunned him for a minute. When Gordon came to, and he realized what had just happened, he jumped to his feet and ran toward Dean.
He broke through his teammates who were congratulating Dean on such a good hit. Gordon charged at him, but before he was within five feet of him, he was held back. “Let me at him!” he yelled, trying to fight out of his teammates’ grasp.
“Let him go!” Dean yelled back. He tried to surge forward, but he was surrounded by twice as many players holding him back. “Let me go!” And his teammates did.
As soon as he was free, he tucked his shoulder and tackled Gordon again. Their offensive coordinator, Caleb Harrison, and defensive coordinator, Bobby Singer, ran up to them and pulled Dean off of Gordon. Caleb pretty much dragged Dean to the sideline while Bobby held Gordon back. “Winchester, what the hell?” Caleb yelled, holding Dean by his jersey.
“Nothing, coach.” Dean unstrapped his helmet and took it off.
“I will bench you for the rest of the season,” Caleb threatened.
“Well, tell Walker that he can be pissed that I’m taking his starting position all he wants, but stop picking on my friend.”
“What?” Caleb asked, letting go of Dean’s jersey. He wasn’t sure if he heard his player correctly.
Dean threw his helmet off to the side. “He keeps picking on Cas because he knows what’ll happen if he messes with me. So, Cas is the next best target. He keeps pushing Cas into lockers, and tripping him, and stealing his crap. Cas is too nice to do anything. I’m not going to just let it happen.” Dean inhaled deeply, knowing that if he got any more pissed he’d hyperventilate. He waited to calm down before he spoke again. “If you’re going to bench me, fine, at least don’t give the starting position to Walker.”
“Warren will start this week’s game. You’re second.”
Dean let out a sigh of relief. If he was second, that meant that Gordon was bumped down to third. “Okay,” he said with a smile.
“Don’t look so happy about it,” Caleb replied. “I will not tolerate teammates fighting. Got it?”
“Yeah, coach.”
The whole school knew not to mess with Castiel Novak after that.
When Castiel found out, he was less than pleased with his best friend. “I don’t need you fighting my battles, Dean,” he said, with his arms crossed.
“I’m not.”
“Then what’s this I hear about you knocking Gordon unconscious?”
“Well, first of all, someone has their stories wrong. He wasn’t unconscious.”
“Dean.”
“Nobody messes with my friends. Especially my best friend.” He was ready to defend himself when he remembered that he was talking to Castiel. And he remembered that he could never get mad at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“No. But please, no more fighting on my behalf.”
“Okay,” Dean lied, and he knew that Castiel knew it. Dean would defend anyone he cared about, no matter what he had to do. He knew that Castiel wouldn’t blame him for it either.
Dean got his license the day after his sixteenth birthday. His parents gave him the Impala to drive. He loved the freedom that came with driving.
Of course, he was always the one to run errands or pick up his brother from school, but it was a small price to pay. Having his own car made him even more irresistible to girls. And the backseat was the perfect place for him to make out with his girl friend, Cassie.
While that was fun, it wasn’t the most important part about having it. He couldn’t count how many times he’d rescue Castiel from walking home in the snow or rain. Every time he did, he’d berate his friend for not caring about his health.
“It’s a fifteen minute walk, Dean,” Castiel would argue.
“Yeah, well, your jacket isn’t thick enough. You’re soaked,” Dean said, staring at Castiel’s clothes clinging to his body.
“Well, now so is your interior. I’m ruining the leather.”
“Small price to pay to make sure you don’t get pneumonia.”
Castiel would always roll his eyes, then fall silent. When Dean would pull into the driveway, Castiel jumped out of the car as quickly as possible.
He never left without saying thank you. He did appreciate the car.
Not so much when Dean used it to teach him to drive.
--------------
Junior year was when Castiel’s body decided to get itself together. The entire Novak family had gone to Oregon, or Idaho, or Montana, for most of the summer to stay with Castiel’s grandparents. Apparently they lived on a ranch and the Novak kids worked on it while they were there.
When Castiel came back at the end of the summer, Dean was speechless. He stood in shock when he saw Castiel on his front porch wearing a blue shirt and basketball shorts that he could have sworn his friend borrowed from him and had yet to return.
“I’m back,” Castiel said with a smile and a shrug.
“I didn’t recognize you.” He eyed his best friend’s body up and down a couple of times.
Castiel has grown a few inches, but Dean was still taller than him. He finally got his hair cut. His body was more toned. He wasn’t as pale as he usually was. And he got rid of his glasses.
“Is that bad?”
“No,” Dean whispered. Definitely not. He had to keep himself from jumping his best friend’s bones right then and there. “You look… less awkward.”
“Thanks?” Castiel replied. “I just wanted you to know that I’m back and you don’t have to water our plants anymore.”
“You could’ve just called,” Dean said although he was glad that he didn’t.
“I know. But…” Castiel’s voice trailed off. He stepped forward and hugged Dean tightly.
Dean froze in place for two reasons. One, Castiel wasn’t really a hug initiating person. The last one he could remember was from their freshman year. And two, he didn’t want Castiel to feel how hard he was from just looking at him.
When he realized how awkward the hug was, being so one-sided, Dean brought his arms up and hugged Castiel back.
When the hug ended, Castiel smiled and ran his hand through his hair, somehow making it messier than it already was. “We need to hang out,” Castiel replied. “You need to tell me how your summer was.”
“Um… yeah… sure.” Dean silently chastised himself for having the vocabulary of a Neanderthal. “Call me.”
Castiel nodded, then ran down the street to his house.
Being an upperclassman, Castiel was cast as the lead more times than not in the play productions the school put on. Dean went to every single one of those plays. He was the person that Castiel went to when he needed someone to run lines with him.
He would never admit it, but he enjoyed them. Especially the musicals. There was something calming about listening to Castiel sing.
Junior year, Dean could have sworn that Castiel spent more time at his house than he did his own. Castiel was still Dean’s tutor and that year, Dean was struggling more than he wanted to admit.
Castiel didn’t mind helping Dean at all. He enjoyed tutoring him. It helped him learn the material and the more he helped Dean, the less time he had to spend at his own home. Since all of his older siblings had moved away and gone off to college or to start their own lives, his parents coddled him more than usual. It drove him insane.
Dean enjoyed the extra time he spent with Castiel. They spent hours with each other every day. Except for the two weeks where they couldn’t stand to even look at each other. It was their first big fight.
It was bad.
Dean lay on his bed, listening to Metallica, and contemplated doing his homework that he knew he wouldn’t understand without Castiel’s help. He didn’t look up when he heard his brother walk in.
“Dean, quit moping and just go talk to him.”
Dean craned his neck up and saw Sam standing at the foot of his bed with his arms crossed over his chest. “No. It’s not my fault that we’re fighting.”
“Is it?”
“Sam, if you’re not taking my side, stay out of it.”
Sam walked over to the side of the bed and punched his brother in the thigh. He jumped back when he saw Dean ready to take a swing at him. “Well, I’m just saying, Dean. He’s your best friend. Regardless of who started it, why can’t you just be the one to fix it?”
“Because.” He was too stubborn. And Dean was angry and Castiel for a reason different from what he really thought.
“Mom said that if you don’t fix it, she’s locking you both in your room so you guys can talk it out.”
“It won’t work,” Dean said, actually sitting up on his bed. “We aren’t kids anymore.”
“That won’t stop her.” Sam walked over and sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed. “Dean, we all know how much Cas means to you.”
“Sam,” Dean warned. He didn’t want to have a chick-flick moment with his brother. Not when he was trying to stay mad.
“I’m serious. And we can’t take one more day of you angsting.”
That night, Dean went over to Castiel’s house to apologize. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how foolish he was acting for being mad that Castiel had to kiss his girlfriend in the play they were in together. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship over something stupid like that.
Dean knew it was more than that. He was mad that Castiel was kissing someone that wasn’t him. But he couldn’t exactly tell his friend that.
“I’m sorry,” they said at the same time.
“Me first,” Dean said. “You’re acting. I don’t care that you’re kissing Lisa.”
“I should’ve been more sympathetic to the fact that I was kissing your girlfriend.”
“Yeah. That,” Dean mumbled. He couldn’t tell Castiel the real reason. Considering how smart Castiel was, Dean was always surprised that he didn’t figure out his real feelings.
“Dean, the kiss means nothing. To Lisa and to me. Like you said, we’re acting.”
“I get it, Cas,” Dean said.
“And besides, I’m pretty sure the way Lisa kisses you is different from the way she kisses me. I mean, I don’t kiss her the way I’d kiss someone I was with.”
It was moments like that where Dean hated how Castiel thought. The only thing could think about for the next few minutes was about was how Castiel would be kissing him if they ever got together. “Cas. I get it. Conversation done,” Dean replied. He didn’t want to talk about at all because he knew his imagination would run away from him.
“Are we okay?” Castiel asked tentatively.
“Yeah,” Dean replied. “Not talking to you for two weeks is hard.” On his sleeping patterns. On his grades. On his family. And not to mention his sanity.
“I agree.”
“Can we not fight about stupid stuff?”
“Please. I don’t like fighting.”
Over the next few days, it felt like the two of them spent more time with each other to compensate for the time they were fighting. Castiel had to work overtime to help Dean catch up on the lessons that he couldn’t understand without Castiel tutoring him.
With all the talks about schoolwork came with talks of college. They applied to mostly the same schools, if not schools in the same state. There were a few schools that Castiel applied to that Dean knew he couldn’t. He didn’t have the grades to get in. He wondered if they would take him on a sport’s scholarship, but he knew he was asking for too much.
“If you want to go there, why don’t you apply?” Castiel said, picking up an application to Stanford. He had seen Dean looking at it.
Dean bit his lip, disappointed that Castiel knew he was staring. “Because I’m not smart enough, Cas.”
“You don’t give yourself too much credit.” He held the packet out to Dean.
“No, I do.” He said with a shake of his head. He took the packet and set it back down on his desk. He had already planned on applying to a couple of schools around it. Schools he knew he’d get into. He only did that knowing that Stanford was one of Castiel’s top schools. “Between the two of us, you’re the smart one. You’ll get into any school you want.”
Castiel snatched the papers from the desk and pushed them into Dean’s chest. “For the last time, Dean, your grades are good enough. You’re just as smart as I am. And you have all these extracurriculars. You have a better chance at getting into a lot of these schools than I do.”
Dean put his hand on Castiel’s, keeping the papers pinned to his chest. “Oh stop, you’re making me blush,” he joked, but he knew that he actually was since could feel his face warming up. He wasn’t use to people telling him he was smart. Castiel seemed to always be the person to do so.
“Just try, please? What’s the harm in it?”
“I’d be out a hundred bucks for the application fee.”
Castiel rolled his eyes, knowing Dean was prone to making jokes whenever he was nervous. “Dean, if you get in and I get in, there’s a possibility we’d be able to go to the same school. That is, if you want.”
The prospect of it made Dean’s chest tighten. “I’ll… I’ll apply,” he whispered.
“No,” Castiel replied. He pulled his hand out from under Dean’s. “Not for me. For yourself. So you can finally shut up those voices in your head that keep telling you that you aren’t smart enough.”
He hated how much Castiel believed in him.
But he loved it too.
--------------
Then Senior year came around, and Dean found himself tired of dating all these girls who would never compare to Castiel. As sad as the female population was, they knew that they were just placeholders until Dean manned up and finally went after who he really wanted.
Castiel went on his first date, Senior year. With a guy. And it took everything Dean had to not destroy everything in the world. He was pissed. And jealous. He knew that Castiel wasn’t straight for almost a year, but he always thought that if he was going to go out with a guy, that it’d be him.
The problem was Dean wasn’t gay. He enjoyed being with females. He tried looking at other guys, but they did nothing for him. The only guy he wanted to be with was Castiel.
He tried not to be too happy when they broke up two weeks later. His patience was tried multiple times whenever he heard Castiel going out with another guy. He hoped no one saw how pathetic and miserable he was about it.
When Castiel was going out with his second boyfriend of the year, Dean had turned down the third girl to ask him out. She was so catty that she started to spread rumors about Dean playing for the other team. He chose to be the bigger person and just ignore it. But that didn’t stop the rumors from spreading.
It wasn’t long before Castiel’s name was thrown into it. That almost made Dean want to step in, just for Castiel’s sake. He was glad that he was able to stay friends with his ex-girlfriends because Jamie, Cassie, and Lisa squashed the rumors without breaking a sweat. They would have turned the whole school against Tammi, but Dean stopped them.
Dean was more worried about if Castiel heard the rumors or not. He was sure that he had. Their school was small enough that rumors spread quickly. Dean just wanted to know if Castiel believed them or not.
But Dean never talked about it. And neither did Castiel.
Then came their Senior Prom, and Dean wasn’t sure if he was going to go. Castiel was the one who convinced him, which was weird since it was usually the other way around. His parents rented him a hotel room so he didn’t have to worry about getting home that night.
He invited Castiel to stay with him, and Castiel agreed. They were both going to prom alone, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to have fun. Dean was pulled into a dozen group pictures, and Castiel was pulled into a few himself.
They danced, ate some food, and had more fun than either of them expected to have.
When the night wound down, Dean and Castiel found themselves tuxed down with Dean in his boxers and Castiel in his boxers and a shirt. They sat on the huge king sized bed and watched an episode of Dr. Sexy MD with a glass of scotch in hand. Dean’s dad knew that it was just going to be the two of them and they had drank around their families before, so he knew it wasn’t going to be a problem if he let them drink on their prom night. Besides, what was a prom without a little bit of alcohol?
Halfway through the second episode and their third glass of scotch, Castiel reached up and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. He stared at Dean, tilting his head.
The action unnerved Dean, but he didn’t move. He felt like he was being observed under a microscope. “Cas, what are you doing?”
“You’re not like everyone else,” he whispered.
“What?”
Castiel rested his hand on Dean’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re not like Balthazar, or Tom, or Lucifer.”
Dean raised an eyebrow at his best friend. “You went out with someone named Lucifer?”
“Yes. It didn’t mean anything.” Castiel leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Dean’s cheek. He trailed kisses down Dean’s jaw until he place one on the corner of Dean’s lips.
“Cas, what?” He was confused.
Castiel rested his forehead on Dean’s temple and let out a shaky breath. “Dean, don’t talk. Because if you do, I may back out of this.”
“Okay.” Dean had no idea what he was agreeing to, but he could never deny Castiel. He leaned over and put his empty Scotch glass on the nightstand next to him.
“Thank you,” he whispered. Castiel set his glass down on the table at his bedside and let out a deep breath. Before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel climbed onto his lap and straddled his hips. He put his hands on Dean’s chest and stared at his best friend. He stayed in that position, unmoving.
Dean could see Castiel’s cheeks turning a bit pink, probably a combination of alcohol and what he was doing. He stared at Castiel, wondering what was going to happen next. He felt like time had stopped in the room. So he waited. Then Castiel blinked, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “Cas?” he asked. He reached up and cupped his cheek. He wiped away the tear with his thumb.
“Was what Tammi said true? That you aren’t going out with anyone right now because you like guys now?”
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head.
Castiel’s heart dropped to his stomach. “Oh,” he whispered, getting ready to climb off of Dean.
“No,” Dean said and Castiel froze in place. “I don’t like guys. I like you. Just you.”
Castiel swallowed and waited before he spoke. He needed to choose his words correctly. “You mean so much to me, Dean,” he said. His voice also dropped a few octaves Senior year. It sounded like he was perpetually sick. Even when he was trying to whisper, his voice echoed.
Dean shivered. “Cas, that’s just the scotch talking.” He knew that it was causing a reaction in himself.
“No, it’s not.”
“Cas,” Dean said. He was ready to give Castiel an out if he wanted it. He could see in Castiel’s eyes that he was sitting on the moment to go forward or back. As much as he wanted Castiel to continue with what he was doing, he wanted Castiel to make the decision for himself.
“Please tell me that what we’re doing won’t mess up what we have.”
“It won’t,” Dean promised impulsively, even though he didn’t know if it was the truth.
“Okay.” Castiel put his hands on Dean’s bare chest.
He leaned forward and placed a kiss over Dean’s heart. His hands moved up, then grasped onto Dean’s shoulders. He looked up and met his best friends’ gaze. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to Dean’s.
Dean lay there, letting Castiel move at the pace he wanted. He closed his eyes when Castiel kissed him and let him take control of it. The only movement he made was to reach forward and hold Castiel by the hips.
He let Castiel test the way he wanted to kiss him. Dean just reacted as Castiel tilted his head and slowly pushed the tip of his tongue in his mouth. He could feel Castiel shaking on top of him.
When Castiel ran out of breath, he pulled away from Dean. He sat back, in Dean’s lap.
“Cas?” His hands trailed down Castiel’s lap and rested on his thighs instead.
“You,” he said. “It should’ve been you from the beginning.” He grabbed Dean’s hands and up them back on his hips. “Just you.”
Dean’s eyes widened. He could not believe what Castiel was implying. “Are you sure?” he asked. They had to be moving too fast.
“Yes,” he whispered.
He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Castiel said no. He dragged his hands under Castiel’s shirt and up his sides. He lifted the shirt as high as it could go before Castiel had to discard of it himself. Once he was naked from the waist up, Castiel kept his eyes downcast.
He stared at Castiel, and not to sound like the creepiest person in the world, but it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. Dean tilted Castiel’s chin up. “Hey, you’ll be okay,” Dean replied. “If it’s too much, don’t hesitate to tell me.”
“I know,” Castiel replied.
Dean knew that was as much of an okay as he was going to get. He grabbed Castiel by his hips again, this time, his hands slipping under the waistband. He rolled them over, putting him on top. Then he leaned forward, and kissed Castiel.
--------------
That’s how they ended up naked and lying against each other. Dean was happy and content.
“I need a shower,” Castiel said, letting go of Dean’s hand and rolling to get out from under him as quickly as possible.
Dean knew something was wrong. “Cas,” Dean said, trying to get Castiel’s attention. He could see his friend thinking. “Cas.”
“I just need to shower, Dean,” Castiel replied, his tone neutral.
“Go ahead.”
Castiel sat up on the bed. He was about to step out from underneath the covers, but he remembered that he was naked. He wrapped the covers tighter around him. “Could you… Um…”
Dean knew what Castiel was asking and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. They had seen each other naked so many times, that it didn’t matter. And now it did. Dean didn’t want to think about what it meant for them.
Dean turned to face away from the bathroom. When he heard the bathroom door close, he turned back around. He didn’t know what to do. Everything was so messed up now.
He promised Castiel that nothing was going to change between them, but it was too late. What’s worse was he wasn’t sure if it was something he did, or didn’t do.
When he heard the shower running, he climbed out of bed and got dressed. He then started to clean up the room. He packed up his clothes into his bag, and picked up Castiel’s clothes too.
A couple of minutes later, the bathroom door opened. Castiel walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to his duffel bag that Dean had just put together and grabbed some clothes out of it. After grabbing a few items, he retreated back into the bathroom.
Dean sat on the edge of the bed, confused. He wanted to fix this, but he didn’t know what was broken. He looked up when Castiel walked out of the bathroom again.
Castiel walked over to his bag and shoved his dirty clothes in it. “I should go home,” he said.
“Let me drive you,” Dean said, quickly standing up.
“It’s all right, Dean,” Castiel said.
“Cas, let me drive you,” he said with a sigh. “I have to check out of the room anyway.”
“Okay,” Castiel relented. “Just let me get my things together.” The two of them never said anything else the rest of their time together.
Even as they checked out of the hotel, Dean kept an eye on Castiel. He knew that he wouldn’t actually run away, but it was just to be safe.
In retrospect, Dean should have let Castiel find his way home on his own. The car ride back to the Novak residence was awkward, but there was no way that he was going to let Castiel take a cab or the bus home. He could suffer through the car ride if it meant Castiel got home safe.
“I’ll call you later,” Dean replied when he pulled into the Novak driveway.
Castiel stepped out of the car and nodded. He left without saying anything. He didn’t even look back into the car.
Dean knew that he messed up badly.
--------------
Walking down the halls that Monday, Dean couldn’t help but feel like everyone was staring at him; and not for the normal reasons. It felt like everyone at school knew that he and Castiel had finally gotten together.
After he had dropped Castiel back to his house, he called him a few times just to make sure he was all right. Every phone call went straight to voice mail. He hoped it was because Castiel’s phone had died, and not because all of his calls were being ignored.
He had hoped that he’d see Castiel during class and corner him. They needed to talk, even if Castiel was going to yell at him. Dean needed to hear his voice to calm him down.
But Castiel had stayed home that day.
He called Castiel between each class, not caring that his phone could have been taken away by a teacher. At lunch, he almost left campus and drove to Castiel’s house just to make sure he was still alive. He didn’t though. He didn’t need to risk a suspension so close to the end of the year.
At the end of the day, Dean was at his locker, trying to determine if he wanted to skip baseball practice or not. He was so worried about Castiel that at the end of the day he was exhausted. He knew that it would affect his play on the mound. He didn’t need to hear his coach tearing him a new one.
He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around. He saw Gabriel standing behind him. “Whoa,” he said, surprised. He didn’t expect to see Gabriel. “Hi.”
“We need to talk.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” He had no idea Gabriel was back in town and why he decided to visit his old Alma Mater.
“I’m picking up Cassy’s homework.”
“Is he okay?” Dean knew the answer to the question.
“I don’t know. But we’re talking. Me and you. Now.” Gabriel looked into the nearest classroom and saw no one inside. He jostled the knob and saw it was unlocked. He pulled Dean inside.
Even though he had a couple of inches on the older Novak, he still felt threatened. Gabriel exuded an essence of power, even with his small stature. “What did I do?”
“I don’t know. But Cas has been playing his stupid ‘Something happened between me and Dean’ CD, so something happened.” He grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the nearest empty classroom. “Now what did you do?”
“I don’t know.” Because he really didn’t.
“Dean, we’re friends. You know that. But I swear on everything good and right in this world, if you hurt my brother-”
Those last three words lit a fire in Dean. He was pissed. “Why would I do that, Gabriel?” he yelled. If he could, he would make sure that no one would ever hurt Castiel. Not if he was around. And to say that he was the one causing him all this pain and anguish wasn’t right. He wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. He knew that he was getting worked up because now it was confirmed the reason why Castiel wasn’t at school was because of him. He was frustrated, but he didn’t want to take it out on Gabriel. “You know I’ve… cared about him for years. Years.” He didn’t know why he hesitated to say what he really felt. Everyone knew how much he cared about Castiel. They knew he loved him, but he’d never said it out loud. At least, not to anyone that wasn’t his mom.
“Then fix this.”
“I don’t know what I did wrong.”
Gabriel stepped forward and grabbed Dean by his shirt. “Figure it out, Dean. Or you’re waking up in Mexico with no idea how you got there.”
Dean’s eyes widened for a second. Then he smiled. “You’ve never threatened me before, Gabe.”
Gabriel let go of Dean’s shirt and smiled back. “Never had a reason to. Don’t make me do it again.”
“Noted,” Dean said, smoothing out the front of his shirt.
“I swear, Dean. As much as I love Journey, if I have to hear ‘Faithfully’ one more time, I’m going to break something.”
“I’ll be over in a few.”
“Okay.” Then Gabriel left Dean alone.
Dean stayed in the classroom for a few minutes to regain his composure. He ran his hands up and down his face. He felt less tired, but he knew that it could all change once he talked to Castiel.
He spent about five more minutes in the classroom then he stepped out. He walked back to his locker, packed his things, then headed to the parking lot.
He stepped into the Novak residence and Gabriel pointed to the back yard. Dean took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out.
Then he was in the back yard.
He saw Castiel lying in the middle of it, with one hand tucked behind his head. His eyes were closed, but he knew that Castiel wasn’t sleeping. He stood on the patio, unmoving.
“You know, as much as you and I hang out, there is still a hierarchy in school. Jocks are not supposed to be best friends with whatever category I fall into.”
Dean let out a loud sigh. At least that solved the conundrum of how he’d get his friend’s attention. He stepped into the yard. “Cas, you know I don’t-”
“I know, Dean,” Castiel interrupted politely knowing that Dean could care less about high school stereotypes. “Just trying to show you how much we don’t make sense.”
“Cas, what do you want me to say?” He didn’t have a clue where to start. To everyone else, they didn’t make a lick of sense, but to him, the fact that he wanted his best friend made all the sense in the world.
Castiel opened his eyes and looked at his best friend who was still standing a few feet away from him. “Nothing. Just lie down and look up at the clouds with me.”
Dean sighed. He was just glad that they were talking. He lay down perpendicular to Castiel at his head. He put his hands behind his head and looked to the sky. He watched the clouds pass, waiting for something to form. “It looks like a penguin.”
“His name was Arthur. While he was in the South Pole he used to-”
“Are we really going to do this?” Dean asked, sitting up.
“You’re the one who started naming cloud shapes.”
“You’re the one who told me to look at them,” Dean argued. He lay back down. “Cas, we need to talk.” Those words were weird coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t really the talking type. He usually avoided moments like these ones, but if he needed to have it with Castiel, he would.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Castiel answered. He scooted up and laid his head down on Dean’s side. “We’re fine.”
“Liar.”
“Dean.” He looked to his side and one of Dean’s hands near his. He reached out and held it.
“You have been avoiding me for two days, Cas.”
“Because I lo… like you.”
“Good, because I don’t know how I’d feel if we just did what we did for kicks and giggles.”
“But it’s not fair to you.” He tried to pull his hand away from Dean’s, but Dean’s grip tightened.
Dean held his grip on Castiel’s hand until he felt him relax and stop fighting. He was glad that Castiel kept his hand in his when he loosened his grip. “You lost me.”
“You’ve liked me much longer than I’ve liked you.”
“Cas, it’s not a competition.”
“It’s weird hearing you say that.”
Dean couldn’t help but smile since he was a competitive person. Everyone knew it from the way he acted on the field and diamond. “But it’s not, Cas,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if I liked you first or you liked me first-”
“It was you.”
Dean’s free hand moved to Castiel’s hair. He ran his fingers through it. “Does that bother you?”
“Not in the way that you think.”
“Care to elaborate?” Dean asked.
“I wish there was a mathematical equation or a chemical formula that I could use to explain this.”
Dean chuckled. The answer was completely Castiel. “I wouldn’t understand it.”
“I don’t want to like you this much if there’s a possibility that you’ll stop liking me.”
Dean stopped stroking Castiel’s hair for a second. He could feel Castiel’s hand shaking in his. “Huh?”
“What if this moment is the peak of the feelings you have for me? I’m still ascending, while you’re on the downward slope.”
He squeezed Castiel’s hand. “That will never happen.”
“Dean. I know you’ve liked me since-”
“Since we were kids,” Dean answered.
“What?” Castiel asked. He pulled his hand out quicker than Dean could keep a hold on him, then sat up.
“Yeah,” Dean said with a laugh. He imagined that Castiel was going to react like that. “You tore my heart out when we were seven years old.”
Castiel sighed and looked down at his lap. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” Dean said. He reached up and rubbed his hand up and down Castiel’s back. “But I cried to my mom for days. I kept telling her that I loved you.”
“What?” Castiel shouted, his eyes wide.
Dean didn’t realize what he said to cause that reaction. When he did, his breath caught in his throat. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I… I was young. I didn’t really grasp the concept of that word.”
“And now?”
“And now…” Dean’s voice trailed off. He waited, trying to think of what he felt for Castiel. He liked Castiel. He cared about Castiel. He wanted to be with Castiel. He knew that his feelings may have changed from when he was seven years old, but he knew that he was supposed to be with his best friend. And now he finally was. “Yeah. I still love you,” he answered after what felt like a lifetime.
“You can grasp the concept of love?”
“Well, the word is constantly evolving. But I know that whatever I feel the word means, I feel it about you.”
“That’s a really grown up answer. Poetic.”
“It’s true.” He had laid out all of his feelings. He hoped that it wouldn’t scare Castiel away. He waited for him to say something. A minute passed. Then two. Three, and Dean began to worry. “Cas, you don’t regret what happened, do you?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then why were you acting so weird?”
Castiel sighed. He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. “I was trying to make sense of everything. And when I couldn’t, it upset me. I mean, I’m still trying to.”
“Not everything has to make sense immediately, Cas.”
“I know. But that doesn’t make me want it to any less.” He reached behind him and grabbed the hand that was on the small of his back. He squeezed it. “I’m glad you were my first.”
“I’m glad you were my first too,” Dean whispered.
“I was your first?”
“Yeah. I figured it would be you, or no one. At least until you got married and then I figured that was the end of it. Then I’d force myself to find someone else. And even then…” his voice softened with each word, he hoped that Castiel understood what he was trying to say. He knew that he had liked Castiel Novak for so long that he didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t.
“Dean.”
“Come here,” Dean said, tugging on Castiel’s arm.
Castiel adjusted and maneuvered himself to lie down on Dean’s shoulder. He tucked face into Dean’s neck and put a hand over Dean’s heart. “We’ll be going off to college soon.”
“I know,” Dean replied.
“We could end up on opposite sides of the country,” he whispered, sad at the possibility.
“I know.”
“I don’t know how to deal with that.”
“I do,” Dean said. He wrapped his arm around Castiel and pulled him in closer. He kissed him on the crown of his forehead. “Cas, I’ve lived without you in my life for years, we’ll make this work.”
Castiel lifted his head and looked into Dean’s eyes. He could see how much Dean believed the words he was saying. It was enough for him to believe those words too. “Okay,” he said.
“And if you’re nervous about the hierarchy or whatever, we’ll be out of high school in a couple of months. And I honestly don’t care because I finally get to be with you. Screw what everyone else thinks. Then again, I’m pretty sure Jaime, Lisa, and Cassie are all for us.”
That was all the reassurance Castiel needed. He covered the right side of Dean’s body with his own. Then he leaned over and kissed his best friend, now boyfriend.
“Get a room!” Gabriel yelled from the kitchen window.
Castiel rolled off of Dean with a laugh. “We should,” he said.
“Yours is closer.”
“It is.” Castiel stood up and Dean followed. He brushed the grass off of Dean’s back.
“By the way, Cas,” Dean started, looking over his shoulder.
“Yes, Dean?” he said as he brushed the grass off of his own clothes.
“I got into Stanford.”
Castiel spun Dean around, and he pressed their lips together before Dean had the chance to react. He kissed Dean until they were both out of breath. He felt Dean grab his arms to keep them standing. He kept their foreheads together, their lips only centimeters apart. “I love you,” Castiel whispered. “And we should celebrate.” He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled them both inside.
Title: The Second Hand Unwinds
Author: dauntperplexity
Recipient: edom56
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 10,105
Warnings: nudity, references to sex
Spoilers: None
Summary: Castiel Novak fell back into Dean Winchester’s world the first day of their freshman year in high school. Dean knew that he was screwed.
Author notes: Prompt: High school AU. Thanks to the mods at deancas-xmas for putting this together. To edom56, I hope you enjoy.
Whenever people would say that Dean was an impatient person, he’d always laugh. Sure, there were many things in the world that he was impatient about. Slow drivers, waiting in line, getting his food at restaurants. But when it mattered, Dean was the most patient person in the world.
If the outcome was always this good, he could learn to be patient about a lot more in his life. Honestly, this moment was worth the wait.
He woke up to find himself lying on a bed in a hotel room. He was naked. And he wasn’t alone. He looked over and saw the person he loved lying next to him.
He rolled over to his side and scooted behind Castiel. He wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close. He felt the body he held tremble.
“You awake, Cas?” Dean whispered. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the back of Castiel’s neck.
“You know I am,” Castiel replied.
It was true. He always knew when Castiel was awake. “You okay?” He watched Castiel nod twice, but that wasn’t enough. “Cas, are you okay?” Dean repeated. The fact that Castiel didn’t give him an answer meant that his thoughts were racing.
“How long have you known?”
“Known what?” Dean asked.
Castiel let out a shaky breath. He brought his hand up and put it on Dean’s. He weaved his fingers in between Dean’s and squeezed. “That you felt this way about me?”
“A long time.” Years. But he wasn’t about to tell Castiel that. Not yet at least.
--------------
Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak were childhood best friends. They lived in the same neighborhood and were always over at each other’s house. They would play with their cars and building blocks and other boy stuff. But Dean’s favorite thing they would do were together was when they would lie down in the backyard and looked at the clouds. Dean’s job was to name what the clouds were, and Castiel’s job was to make up stories for the shapes Dean named.
They played on the same soccer and t-ball team and their parents knew better than to try and separate them. When they finally went to school, randomly, they were always put in the same class.
When they were seven, Castiel and his family moved away because of their his dad’s job. Dean was heartbroken. He cried every night for a week and a half until he felt like there were no more tears left for him to cry.
Every night, Dean sat in his mom’s lap as she rocked him, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm him. “He has to come back, mom,” Dean cried, grabbing onto his mother’s shirt.
Mary cradled Dean’s head to her chest. She hated seeing her son so sad and she didn’t know what she could do about it. “Dean.”
“But I love him.”
Mary gasped at her son’s admission, but she quickly recovered. She knew that Dean and Castiel were close, but for Dean to use it to describe their relationship was shocking. “Dean, I know that Cas was your best friend.”
“I love him. You say it to dad all the time. I love him like you love dad.”
Mary sighed. She knew that Dean was always an emotional child even though he tried not to show it. “It’ll be okay, baby. I swear.” Even though she knew it would take a long time for him to get over this loss.
“It has to be.”
“I promise, baby,” she said, kissing the crown of her son’s head. She rocked him through his tears until she fell asleep in his arms.
Over the next few weeks, Dean cried a little less. Eventually, he stopped crying all together. He found new friends, and even claimed a few of them to be his best friends.
But he never forgot about Castiel Novak. Not for one second.
--------------
Castiel Novak fell back into Dean Winchester’s world the first day of their freshman year in high school. He was sitting in homeroom, talking to the other people on the football team who happened to share homeroom with him. He sat and waited as their teacher did the attendance.
“Novak, Castiel,” Mrs. Harvelle yelled above the loud students.
Dean felt his heart drop down to his pinky toe. He stopped talking to his teammates and looked around. Then he saw him. A student sitting in the front of classroom, right in the middle desk. He raised his hand in the air.
“Here,” he whispered.
He knew that he was staring, but he couldn’t stop. From where he was sitting, all he could see was the back of Castiel’s head. He felt someone punch him in the arm and he turned to glare at Jake. “What?” he growled.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Jake asked.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Talley, Jake,” Mrs. Harvelle called.
“Here,” Jake said. “So, do you think they’re moving you up to varsity or not?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t really care,” Dean replied. He really didn’t. He just wanted to play football.
“And I know you’re here, Dean,” Mrs. Harvelle said, finishing off the roll call.
Dean had to smirk. Mrs. Harvelle’s daughter, Jo and Sam were the same age. They were really good friends, which meant that Mrs. Harvelle had seen a lot of Dean before she ever had him in his class. He had a feeling Mrs. Harvelle requested for him to be in her homeroom because she knew she’d be the only teacher who would be able to handle him. “Thanks.”
The bell rang and the kids rushed out of the room. Dean stayed back, watching as the boy who answered to Castiel packed up his bag. Soon, they were the only ones left in the classroom.
Dean approached his classmate slowly, like he would an animal in the wild. He was cautious. “Cas?” he whispered. His voice sounded nothing like his own. “Do you remember me?”
The stranger turned around. As soon as their eyes met, Dean knew that it was his childhood best friend.
“Dean,” Castiel replied with a soft smile on his face. He jumped forward and threw his arms around his childhood best friend. He held on for a moment before he realized what he was doing. Then he stepped back. “I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t okay.”
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. “It’s fine.” He couldn’t stop the smile that broke across his face. He looked at his friend. Looking past the unkempt, dark brown hair, and thick glasses, he could see the Castiel he knew years ago. “You’re back?” He could feel his heart pounding in his ears. He hoped his entire body wasn’t shaking.
“Father retired. He’s a writer now. He and mom chose to move us back here.”
“Still living in the same house?”
“Same house.”
“That’s great.”
Castiel zipped his bag closed and threw it over his shoulder. “Somehow we ended up in the same class again.”
“Weird, isn’t it,” Dean asked, scratching the back of his head. Honestly, it was a little peculiar that they ended up together in a class. It had to mean something. “I guess some things never change.”
“I guess not.”
“Hey, what time is your lunch period?”
“I have the first block.”
“Me too,” Dean smiled. “You should come sit with me and my friends.” He was glad. He knew there was a lot that the two of them had to catch up on.
“I’d like that.”
“Cool,” Dean said with a smile. The warning bell sounded. “I guess we should get to class.”
“Yes, we should.” Castiel looked at the schedule in his hand.
Dean grabbed it when he saw Castiel having trouble trying to decipher it. “Room 28,” he said, pointing down the hall. “We have English and History together. Nice. I’ll see you in class.”
“Okay,” Castiel replied, then headed down the hall.
Dean couldn’t help but stare at his friend as he walked away. He was pulled out of his staring when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He saw Mrs. Harvelle standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. He looked at a clock on the wall and saw that he had two minutes to get to class.
He took off running to his first period. He could not believe Castiel was back. It made him unbelievably happy. Then all the feelings from when he was seven years old came flooding back. He knew that he was screwed.
A few weeks passed and he stood in the locker room with his football teammates after practice. The coaches had decided to move him up to varsity, which was fine with him. They felt that he was good enough to be the second-string running back. He may have even been starting by the end of the season. It was a rare accomplishment for a freshman.
Since he was on the team, he was free from the football team picking on the fresh meat in the school. He had his own hazing that he had to deal with.
When he heard the older players start naming the freshmen who were on their list for their annual prank, his heart rate picked up. When he heard them say Novak, he had to speak up. “You don’t touch Castiel,” he said.
“Dean, no freshman is off limits,” his teammate, Gordon Walker, replied.
“You don’t touch Castiel Novak. If anyone does, I’m quitting the team.”
“You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack,” Dean replied. They were catching up on the years they had been apart, and Dean was falling in love with him again; or at least the love was rekindling because he wasn’t sure if he ever stopped. Because of that, his protective streak was starting to show.
A senior named Baldur walked up to Dean, and put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s some loyalty you have there, Dean.”
“Yeah, loyalty,” Dean mumbled.
“What, do you like him or something?” Gordon asked.
Dean’s eyes darkened. “What does it matter?” He knew that he was getting defensive, but if Gordon was going to be a dick, he wasn’t going to sit back and take it.
“Do you?”
“Would it matter if I do?”
“Walker, stop being such a homophobe,” junior, Marshall Hall, replied. He walked over to Gordon and pushed him. “Don’t be mad at Winchester because he has a legitimate shot at taking your starting position.”
“He’s a freshman.”
“I don’t see age,” their coach, Rufus Turner said. “I see skill level. If he’s better than you, he’s moving up the ladder.”
“Look, Dean,” Baldur said. “Football is a team sport. You need to trust your teammates. And you have to have some sense of loyalty. If you don’t want us to mess with one of your friends, we won’t.”
“Thanks,” Dean replied, relieved.
“But don’t get mad at us when we give you a harder time because of it.”
Dean smiled. He could take it. And he did. Even when the same rules applied during baseball season.
Once Dean was sure Castiel was safe from the torment of his teammates, he took the time to get to reknow his friend. They were over at each other’s house every day either doing homework, watching something on TV, or just hanging out.
Dean found out that Castiel took after his dad. He was a storyteller. Dean wasn’t surprised, especially after the stories he’d make up when they were younger. Castiel had an active imagination.
Castiel was good at almost everything that had to do with art. Drawing, music, stories. The only ability that escaped him was his dancing. Castiel tried out for every production the school put on. He was cast in all of them, not necessarily the main part, but some role.
Dean was the one who helped Castiel learn his lines whenever he was cast into a play. That was, when he wasn’t with his girlfriend, Jamie. Even though he had a girlfriend, he spent more time with Castiel than he did with her. He didn’t mind it one bit. They had eight years to catch up on. And they did.
It was almost as if Castiel never left.
--------------
Sophomore year, when he was struggling in more that one of his classes, Dean asked Castiel to be his tutor. He always wondered why Castiel didn’t murder him a month into their agreement.
“I’m going to fail everything,” Dean groaned, throwing a sheet of paper into the air. It must have been the hundredth time he’d said that during one of their tutoring sessions.
“You’re not going to fail,” Castiel replied, picking the paper off of the floor. He put it back in front of Dean.
“I’m not as smart as you, Cas,” he mumbled, dragging his hands down his face.
“Yes, you are. You’re just lazy.”
“I’m not lazy,” Dean whined with a pout.
“And you’re in denial.”
“Whatever, Cas,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “You’re the only one who thinks that I’ll pass these classes.”
“It isn’t because you aren’t smart. Dean, I am your tutor. You will not fail,” he said, adamant. “If you fail, how bad will that make me look?”
Dean leaned back against the chair, tipping it on the hind two legs. He stretched his arms, reaching for the sky and almost hitting Castiel in the face. “I feel like with that kind of promise, I should be paying you.”
Castiel put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and pushed him and the chair back down. “You get the best friend discount.”
“How much would you charge me if I wasn’t your friend?”
“I probably wouldn’t tutor you at all.”
“Lucky me, then,” Dean replied with a smile.
“Yeah, very lucky,” Castiel replied. He grabbed the pencil that was about to roll off the top of the desk Dean sat at and held it out to Dean. “Now stop getting distracted. Finish your geometry.”
Dean grabbed the pencil, tried, and failed to hide his smile. He got back to work. He didn’t want to disappoint Castiel.
This was also the year that Dean had to put up with a lot of crap from the upper classmen for hanging out with the likes of Castiel. As the first string running back on the varsity team, Dean had a reputation to uphold.
Especially since Gordon wasn’t too happy being second string to an underclassmen. He knew he couldn’t do anything to Dean, so he took the opportunity to pick on Castiel every chance Dean wasn’t around.
Castiel, being the more patient and mature person, just ignored it. Dean, on the other hand, took matters into his own hands.
He knew that he couldn’t do anything to Gordon during school, so he waited until practice one day. He asked his coach to let him play defense against the second string. The coaches knew that he was up to something, but Dean said that he never got to play defense, so he’d like to see what he was missing. Reluctantly, the coaches put him in and warned him if he got hurt, then he’d be moved down to third string for the rest of the season.
The first play that Gordon got the ball, Dean ran at him full speed. He flattened out Gordon and stunned him for a minute. When Gordon came to, and he realized what had just happened, he jumped to his feet and ran toward Dean.
He broke through his teammates who were congratulating Dean on such a good hit. Gordon charged at him, but before he was within five feet of him, he was held back. “Let me at him!” he yelled, trying to fight out of his teammates’ grasp.
“Let him go!” Dean yelled back. He tried to surge forward, but he was surrounded by twice as many players holding him back. “Let me go!” And his teammates did.
As soon as he was free, he tucked his shoulder and tackled Gordon again. Their offensive coordinator, Caleb Harrison, and defensive coordinator, Bobby Singer, ran up to them and pulled Dean off of Gordon. Caleb pretty much dragged Dean to the sideline while Bobby held Gordon back. “Winchester, what the hell?” Caleb yelled, holding Dean by his jersey.
“Nothing, coach.” Dean unstrapped his helmet and took it off.
“I will bench you for the rest of the season,” Caleb threatened.
“Well, tell Walker that he can be pissed that I’m taking his starting position all he wants, but stop picking on my friend.”
“What?” Caleb asked, letting go of Dean’s jersey. He wasn’t sure if he heard his player correctly.
Dean threw his helmet off to the side. “He keeps picking on Cas because he knows what’ll happen if he messes with me. So, Cas is the next best target. He keeps pushing Cas into lockers, and tripping him, and stealing his crap. Cas is too nice to do anything. I’m not going to just let it happen.” Dean inhaled deeply, knowing that if he got any more pissed he’d hyperventilate. He waited to calm down before he spoke again. “If you’re going to bench me, fine, at least don’t give the starting position to Walker.”
“Warren will start this week’s game. You’re second.”
Dean let out a sigh of relief. If he was second, that meant that Gordon was bumped down to third. “Okay,” he said with a smile.
“Don’t look so happy about it,” Caleb replied. “I will not tolerate teammates fighting. Got it?”
“Yeah, coach.”
The whole school knew not to mess with Castiel Novak after that.
When Castiel found out, he was less than pleased with his best friend. “I don’t need you fighting my battles, Dean,” he said, with his arms crossed.
“I’m not.”
“Then what’s this I hear about you knocking Gordon unconscious?”
“Well, first of all, someone has their stories wrong. He wasn’t unconscious.”
“Dean.”
“Nobody messes with my friends. Especially my best friend.” He was ready to defend himself when he remembered that he was talking to Castiel. And he remembered that he could never get mad at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“No. But please, no more fighting on my behalf.”
“Okay,” Dean lied, and he knew that Castiel knew it. Dean would defend anyone he cared about, no matter what he had to do. He knew that Castiel wouldn’t blame him for it either.
Dean got his license the day after his sixteenth birthday. His parents gave him the Impala to drive. He loved the freedom that came with driving.
Of course, he was always the one to run errands or pick up his brother from school, but it was a small price to pay. Having his own car made him even more irresistible to girls. And the backseat was the perfect place for him to make out with his girl friend, Cassie.
While that was fun, it wasn’t the most important part about having it. He couldn’t count how many times he’d rescue Castiel from walking home in the snow or rain. Every time he did, he’d berate his friend for not caring about his health.
“It’s a fifteen minute walk, Dean,” Castiel would argue.
“Yeah, well, your jacket isn’t thick enough. You’re soaked,” Dean said, staring at Castiel’s clothes clinging to his body.
“Well, now so is your interior. I’m ruining the leather.”
“Small price to pay to make sure you don’t get pneumonia.”
Castiel would always roll his eyes, then fall silent. When Dean would pull into the driveway, Castiel jumped out of the car as quickly as possible.
He never left without saying thank you. He did appreciate the car.
Not so much when Dean used it to teach him to drive.
--------------
Junior year was when Castiel’s body decided to get itself together. The entire Novak family had gone to Oregon, or Idaho, or Montana, for most of the summer to stay with Castiel’s grandparents. Apparently they lived on a ranch and the Novak kids worked on it while they were there.
When Castiel came back at the end of the summer, Dean was speechless. He stood in shock when he saw Castiel on his front porch wearing a blue shirt and basketball shorts that he could have sworn his friend borrowed from him and had yet to return.
“I’m back,” Castiel said with a smile and a shrug.
“I didn’t recognize you.” He eyed his best friend’s body up and down a couple of times.
Castiel has grown a few inches, but Dean was still taller than him. He finally got his hair cut. His body was more toned. He wasn’t as pale as he usually was. And he got rid of his glasses.
“Is that bad?”
“No,” Dean whispered. Definitely not. He had to keep himself from jumping his best friend’s bones right then and there. “You look… less awkward.”
“Thanks?” Castiel replied. “I just wanted you to know that I’m back and you don’t have to water our plants anymore.”
“You could’ve just called,” Dean said although he was glad that he didn’t.
“I know. But…” Castiel’s voice trailed off. He stepped forward and hugged Dean tightly.
Dean froze in place for two reasons. One, Castiel wasn’t really a hug initiating person. The last one he could remember was from their freshman year. And two, he didn’t want Castiel to feel how hard he was from just looking at him.
When he realized how awkward the hug was, being so one-sided, Dean brought his arms up and hugged Castiel back.
When the hug ended, Castiel smiled and ran his hand through his hair, somehow making it messier than it already was. “We need to hang out,” Castiel replied. “You need to tell me how your summer was.”
“Um… yeah… sure.” Dean silently chastised himself for having the vocabulary of a Neanderthal. “Call me.”
Castiel nodded, then ran down the street to his house.
Being an upperclassman, Castiel was cast as the lead more times than not in the play productions the school put on. Dean went to every single one of those plays. He was the person that Castiel went to when he needed someone to run lines with him.
He would never admit it, but he enjoyed them. Especially the musicals. There was something calming about listening to Castiel sing.
Junior year, Dean could have sworn that Castiel spent more time at his house than he did his own. Castiel was still Dean’s tutor and that year, Dean was struggling more than he wanted to admit.
Castiel didn’t mind helping Dean at all. He enjoyed tutoring him. It helped him learn the material and the more he helped Dean, the less time he had to spend at his own home. Since all of his older siblings had moved away and gone off to college or to start their own lives, his parents coddled him more than usual. It drove him insane.
Dean enjoyed the extra time he spent with Castiel. They spent hours with each other every day. Except for the two weeks where they couldn’t stand to even look at each other. It was their first big fight.
It was bad.
Dean lay on his bed, listening to Metallica, and contemplated doing his homework that he knew he wouldn’t understand without Castiel’s help. He didn’t look up when he heard his brother walk in.
“Dean, quit moping and just go talk to him.”
Dean craned his neck up and saw Sam standing at the foot of his bed with his arms crossed over his chest. “No. It’s not my fault that we’re fighting.”
“Is it?”
“Sam, if you’re not taking my side, stay out of it.”
Sam walked over to the side of the bed and punched his brother in the thigh. He jumped back when he saw Dean ready to take a swing at him. “Well, I’m just saying, Dean. He’s your best friend. Regardless of who started it, why can’t you just be the one to fix it?”
“Because.” He was too stubborn. And Dean was angry and Castiel for a reason different from what he really thought.
“Mom said that if you don’t fix it, she’s locking you both in your room so you guys can talk it out.”
“It won’t work,” Dean said, actually sitting up on his bed. “We aren’t kids anymore.”
“That won’t stop her.” Sam walked over and sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed. “Dean, we all know how much Cas means to you.”
“Sam,” Dean warned. He didn’t want to have a chick-flick moment with his brother. Not when he was trying to stay mad.
“I’m serious. And we can’t take one more day of you angsting.”
That night, Dean went over to Castiel’s house to apologize. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how foolish he was acting for being mad that Castiel had to kiss his girlfriend in the play they were in together. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship over something stupid like that.
Dean knew it was more than that. He was mad that Castiel was kissing someone that wasn’t him. But he couldn’t exactly tell his friend that.
“I’m sorry,” they said at the same time.
“Me first,” Dean said. “You’re acting. I don’t care that you’re kissing Lisa.”
“I should’ve been more sympathetic to the fact that I was kissing your girlfriend.”
“Yeah. That,” Dean mumbled. He couldn’t tell Castiel the real reason. Considering how smart Castiel was, Dean was always surprised that he didn’t figure out his real feelings.
“Dean, the kiss means nothing. To Lisa and to me. Like you said, we’re acting.”
“I get it, Cas,” Dean said.
“And besides, I’m pretty sure the way Lisa kisses you is different from the way she kisses me. I mean, I don’t kiss her the way I’d kiss someone I was with.”
It was moments like that where Dean hated how Castiel thought. The only thing could think about for the next few minutes was about was how Castiel would be kissing him if they ever got together. “Cas. I get it. Conversation done,” Dean replied. He didn’t want to talk about at all because he knew his imagination would run away from him.
“Are we okay?” Castiel asked tentatively.
“Yeah,” Dean replied. “Not talking to you for two weeks is hard.” On his sleeping patterns. On his grades. On his family. And not to mention his sanity.
“I agree.”
“Can we not fight about stupid stuff?”
“Please. I don’t like fighting.”
Over the next few days, it felt like the two of them spent more time with each other to compensate for the time they were fighting. Castiel had to work overtime to help Dean catch up on the lessons that he couldn’t understand without Castiel tutoring him.
With all the talks about schoolwork came with talks of college. They applied to mostly the same schools, if not schools in the same state. There were a few schools that Castiel applied to that Dean knew he couldn’t. He didn’t have the grades to get in. He wondered if they would take him on a sport’s scholarship, but he knew he was asking for too much.
“If you want to go there, why don’t you apply?” Castiel said, picking up an application to Stanford. He had seen Dean looking at it.
Dean bit his lip, disappointed that Castiel knew he was staring. “Because I’m not smart enough, Cas.”
“You don’t give yourself too much credit.” He held the packet out to Dean.
“No, I do.” He said with a shake of his head. He took the packet and set it back down on his desk. He had already planned on applying to a couple of schools around it. Schools he knew he’d get into. He only did that knowing that Stanford was one of Castiel’s top schools. “Between the two of us, you’re the smart one. You’ll get into any school you want.”
Castiel snatched the papers from the desk and pushed them into Dean’s chest. “For the last time, Dean, your grades are good enough. You’re just as smart as I am. And you have all these extracurriculars. You have a better chance at getting into a lot of these schools than I do.”
Dean put his hand on Castiel’s, keeping the papers pinned to his chest. “Oh stop, you’re making me blush,” he joked, but he knew that he actually was since could feel his face warming up. He wasn’t use to people telling him he was smart. Castiel seemed to always be the person to do so.
“Just try, please? What’s the harm in it?”
“I’d be out a hundred bucks for the application fee.”
Castiel rolled his eyes, knowing Dean was prone to making jokes whenever he was nervous. “Dean, if you get in and I get in, there’s a possibility we’d be able to go to the same school. That is, if you want.”
The prospect of it made Dean’s chest tighten. “I’ll… I’ll apply,” he whispered.
“No,” Castiel replied. He pulled his hand out from under Dean’s. “Not for me. For yourself. So you can finally shut up those voices in your head that keep telling you that you aren’t smart enough.”
He hated how much Castiel believed in him.
But he loved it too.
--------------
Then Senior year came around, and Dean found himself tired of dating all these girls who would never compare to Castiel. As sad as the female population was, they knew that they were just placeholders until Dean manned up and finally went after who he really wanted.
Castiel went on his first date, Senior year. With a guy. And it took everything Dean had to not destroy everything in the world. He was pissed. And jealous. He knew that Castiel wasn’t straight for almost a year, but he always thought that if he was going to go out with a guy, that it’d be him.
The problem was Dean wasn’t gay. He enjoyed being with females. He tried looking at other guys, but they did nothing for him. The only guy he wanted to be with was Castiel.
He tried not to be too happy when they broke up two weeks later. His patience was tried multiple times whenever he heard Castiel going out with another guy. He hoped no one saw how pathetic and miserable he was about it.
When Castiel was going out with his second boyfriend of the year, Dean had turned down the third girl to ask him out. She was so catty that she started to spread rumors about Dean playing for the other team. He chose to be the bigger person and just ignore it. But that didn’t stop the rumors from spreading.
It wasn’t long before Castiel’s name was thrown into it. That almost made Dean want to step in, just for Castiel’s sake. He was glad that he was able to stay friends with his ex-girlfriends because Jamie, Cassie, and Lisa squashed the rumors without breaking a sweat. They would have turned the whole school against Tammi, but Dean stopped them.
Dean was more worried about if Castiel heard the rumors or not. He was sure that he had. Their school was small enough that rumors spread quickly. Dean just wanted to know if Castiel believed them or not.
But Dean never talked about it. And neither did Castiel.
Then came their Senior Prom, and Dean wasn’t sure if he was going to go. Castiel was the one who convinced him, which was weird since it was usually the other way around. His parents rented him a hotel room so he didn’t have to worry about getting home that night.
He invited Castiel to stay with him, and Castiel agreed. They were both going to prom alone, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to have fun. Dean was pulled into a dozen group pictures, and Castiel was pulled into a few himself.
They danced, ate some food, and had more fun than either of them expected to have.
When the night wound down, Dean and Castiel found themselves tuxed down with Dean in his boxers and Castiel in his boxers and a shirt. They sat on the huge king sized bed and watched an episode of Dr. Sexy MD with a glass of scotch in hand. Dean’s dad knew that it was just going to be the two of them and they had drank around their families before, so he knew it wasn’t going to be a problem if he let them drink on their prom night. Besides, what was a prom without a little bit of alcohol?
Halfway through the second episode and their third glass of scotch, Castiel reached up and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. He stared at Dean, tilting his head.
The action unnerved Dean, but he didn’t move. He felt like he was being observed under a microscope. “Cas, what are you doing?”
“You’re not like everyone else,” he whispered.
“What?”
Castiel rested his hand on Dean’s cheek. “I’m glad you’re not like Balthazar, or Tom, or Lucifer.”
Dean raised an eyebrow at his best friend. “You went out with someone named Lucifer?”
“Yes. It didn’t mean anything.” Castiel leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Dean’s cheek. He trailed kisses down Dean’s jaw until he place one on the corner of Dean’s lips.
“Cas, what?” He was confused.
Castiel rested his forehead on Dean’s temple and let out a shaky breath. “Dean, don’t talk. Because if you do, I may back out of this.”
“Okay.” Dean had no idea what he was agreeing to, but he could never deny Castiel. He leaned over and put his empty Scotch glass on the nightstand next to him.
“Thank you,” he whispered. Castiel set his glass down on the table at his bedside and let out a deep breath. Before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel climbed onto his lap and straddled his hips. He put his hands on Dean’s chest and stared at his best friend. He stayed in that position, unmoving.
Dean could see Castiel’s cheeks turning a bit pink, probably a combination of alcohol and what he was doing. He stared at Castiel, wondering what was going to happen next. He felt like time had stopped in the room. So he waited. Then Castiel blinked, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “Cas?” he asked. He reached up and cupped his cheek. He wiped away the tear with his thumb.
“Was what Tammi said true? That you aren’t going out with anyone right now because you like guys now?”
“No,” Dean said, shaking his head.
Castiel’s heart dropped to his stomach. “Oh,” he whispered, getting ready to climb off of Dean.
“No,” Dean said and Castiel froze in place. “I don’t like guys. I like you. Just you.”
Castiel swallowed and waited before he spoke. He needed to choose his words correctly. “You mean so much to me, Dean,” he said. His voice also dropped a few octaves Senior year. It sounded like he was perpetually sick. Even when he was trying to whisper, his voice echoed.
Dean shivered. “Cas, that’s just the scotch talking.” He knew that it was causing a reaction in himself.
“No, it’s not.”
“Cas,” Dean said. He was ready to give Castiel an out if he wanted it. He could see in Castiel’s eyes that he was sitting on the moment to go forward or back. As much as he wanted Castiel to continue with what he was doing, he wanted Castiel to make the decision for himself.
“Please tell me that what we’re doing won’t mess up what we have.”
“It won’t,” Dean promised impulsively, even though he didn’t know if it was the truth.
“Okay.” Castiel put his hands on Dean’s bare chest.
He leaned forward and placed a kiss over Dean’s heart. His hands moved up, then grasped onto Dean’s shoulders. He looked up and met his best friends’ gaze. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to Dean’s.
Dean lay there, letting Castiel move at the pace he wanted. He closed his eyes when Castiel kissed him and let him take control of it. The only movement he made was to reach forward and hold Castiel by the hips.
He let Castiel test the way he wanted to kiss him. Dean just reacted as Castiel tilted his head and slowly pushed the tip of his tongue in his mouth. He could feel Castiel shaking on top of him.
When Castiel ran out of breath, he pulled away from Dean. He sat back, in Dean’s lap.
“Cas?” His hands trailed down Castiel’s lap and rested on his thighs instead.
“You,” he said. “It should’ve been you from the beginning.” He grabbed Dean’s hands and up them back on his hips. “Just you.”
Dean’s eyes widened. He could not believe what Castiel was implying. “Are you sure?” he asked. They had to be moving too fast.
“Yes,” he whispered.
He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Castiel said no. He dragged his hands under Castiel’s shirt and up his sides. He lifted the shirt as high as it could go before Castiel had to discard of it himself. Once he was naked from the waist up, Castiel kept his eyes downcast.
He stared at Castiel, and not to sound like the creepiest person in the world, but it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. Dean tilted Castiel’s chin up. “Hey, you’ll be okay,” Dean replied. “If it’s too much, don’t hesitate to tell me.”
“I know,” Castiel replied.
Dean knew that was as much of an okay as he was going to get. He grabbed Castiel by his hips again, this time, his hands slipping under the waistband. He rolled them over, putting him on top. Then he leaned forward, and kissed Castiel.
--------------
That’s how they ended up naked and lying against each other. Dean was happy and content.
“I need a shower,” Castiel said, letting go of Dean’s hand and rolling to get out from under him as quickly as possible.
Dean knew something was wrong. “Cas,” Dean said, trying to get Castiel’s attention. He could see his friend thinking. “Cas.”
“I just need to shower, Dean,” Castiel replied, his tone neutral.
“Go ahead.”
Castiel sat up on the bed. He was about to step out from underneath the covers, but he remembered that he was naked. He wrapped the covers tighter around him. “Could you… Um…”
Dean knew what Castiel was asking and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. They had seen each other naked so many times, that it didn’t matter. And now it did. Dean didn’t want to think about what it meant for them.
Dean turned to face away from the bathroom. When he heard the bathroom door close, he turned back around. He didn’t know what to do. Everything was so messed up now.
He promised Castiel that nothing was going to change between them, but it was too late. What’s worse was he wasn’t sure if it was something he did, or didn’t do.
When he heard the shower running, he climbed out of bed and got dressed. He then started to clean up the room. He packed up his clothes into his bag, and picked up Castiel’s clothes too.
A couple of minutes later, the bathroom door opened. Castiel walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to his duffel bag that Dean had just put together and grabbed some clothes out of it. After grabbing a few items, he retreated back into the bathroom.
Dean sat on the edge of the bed, confused. He wanted to fix this, but he didn’t know what was broken. He looked up when Castiel walked out of the bathroom again.
Castiel walked over to his bag and shoved his dirty clothes in it. “I should go home,” he said.
“Let me drive you,” Dean said, quickly standing up.
“It’s all right, Dean,” Castiel said.
“Cas, let me drive you,” he said with a sigh. “I have to check out of the room anyway.”
“Okay,” Castiel relented. “Just let me get my things together.” The two of them never said anything else the rest of their time together.
Even as they checked out of the hotel, Dean kept an eye on Castiel. He knew that he wouldn’t actually run away, but it was just to be safe.
In retrospect, Dean should have let Castiel find his way home on his own. The car ride back to the Novak residence was awkward, but there was no way that he was going to let Castiel take a cab or the bus home. He could suffer through the car ride if it meant Castiel got home safe.
“I’ll call you later,” Dean replied when he pulled into the Novak driveway.
Castiel stepped out of the car and nodded. He left without saying anything. He didn’t even look back into the car.
Dean knew that he messed up badly.
--------------
Walking down the halls that Monday, Dean couldn’t help but feel like everyone was staring at him; and not for the normal reasons. It felt like everyone at school knew that he and Castiel had finally gotten together.
After he had dropped Castiel back to his house, he called him a few times just to make sure he was all right. Every phone call went straight to voice mail. He hoped it was because Castiel’s phone had died, and not because all of his calls were being ignored.
He had hoped that he’d see Castiel during class and corner him. They needed to talk, even if Castiel was going to yell at him. Dean needed to hear his voice to calm him down.
But Castiel had stayed home that day.
He called Castiel between each class, not caring that his phone could have been taken away by a teacher. At lunch, he almost left campus and drove to Castiel’s house just to make sure he was still alive. He didn’t though. He didn’t need to risk a suspension so close to the end of the year.
At the end of the day, Dean was at his locker, trying to determine if he wanted to skip baseball practice or not. He was so worried about Castiel that at the end of the day he was exhausted. He knew that it would affect his play on the mound. He didn’t need to hear his coach tearing him a new one.
He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around. He saw Gabriel standing behind him. “Whoa,” he said, surprised. He didn’t expect to see Gabriel. “Hi.”
“We need to talk.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” He had no idea Gabriel was back in town and why he decided to visit his old Alma Mater.
“I’m picking up Cassy’s homework.”
“Is he okay?” Dean knew the answer to the question.
“I don’t know. But we’re talking. Me and you. Now.” Gabriel looked into the nearest classroom and saw no one inside. He jostled the knob and saw it was unlocked. He pulled Dean inside.
Even though he had a couple of inches on the older Novak, he still felt threatened. Gabriel exuded an essence of power, even with his small stature. “What did I do?”
“I don’t know. But Cas has been playing his stupid ‘Something happened between me and Dean’ CD, so something happened.” He grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the nearest empty classroom. “Now what did you do?”
“I don’t know.” Because he really didn’t.
“Dean, we’re friends. You know that. But I swear on everything good and right in this world, if you hurt my brother-”
Those last three words lit a fire in Dean. He was pissed. “Why would I do that, Gabriel?” he yelled. If he could, he would make sure that no one would ever hurt Castiel. Not if he was around. And to say that he was the one causing him all this pain and anguish wasn’t right. He wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. He knew that he was getting worked up because now it was confirmed the reason why Castiel wasn’t at school was because of him. He was frustrated, but he didn’t want to take it out on Gabriel. “You know I’ve… cared about him for years. Years.” He didn’t know why he hesitated to say what he really felt. Everyone knew how much he cared about Castiel. They knew he loved him, but he’d never said it out loud. At least, not to anyone that wasn’t his mom.
“Then fix this.”
“I don’t know what I did wrong.”
Gabriel stepped forward and grabbed Dean by his shirt. “Figure it out, Dean. Or you’re waking up in Mexico with no idea how you got there.”
Dean’s eyes widened for a second. Then he smiled. “You’ve never threatened me before, Gabe.”
Gabriel let go of Dean’s shirt and smiled back. “Never had a reason to. Don’t make me do it again.”
“Noted,” Dean said, smoothing out the front of his shirt.
“I swear, Dean. As much as I love Journey, if I have to hear ‘Faithfully’ one more time, I’m going to break something.”
“I’ll be over in a few.”
“Okay.” Then Gabriel left Dean alone.
Dean stayed in the classroom for a few minutes to regain his composure. He ran his hands up and down his face. He felt less tired, but he knew that it could all change once he talked to Castiel.
He spent about five more minutes in the classroom then he stepped out. He walked back to his locker, packed his things, then headed to the parking lot.
He stepped into the Novak residence and Gabriel pointed to the back yard. Dean took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out.
Then he was in the back yard.
He saw Castiel lying in the middle of it, with one hand tucked behind his head. His eyes were closed, but he knew that Castiel wasn’t sleeping. He stood on the patio, unmoving.
“You know, as much as you and I hang out, there is still a hierarchy in school. Jocks are not supposed to be best friends with whatever category I fall into.”
Dean let out a loud sigh. At least that solved the conundrum of how he’d get his friend’s attention. He stepped into the yard. “Cas, you know I don’t-”
“I know, Dean,” Castiel interrupted politely knowing that Dean could care less about high school stereotypes. “Just trying to show you how much we don’t make sense.”
“Cas, what do you want me to say?” He didn’t have a clue where to start. To everyone else, they didn’t make a lick of sense, but to him, the fact that he wanted his best friend made all the sense in the world.
Castiel opened his eyes and looked at his best friend who was still standing a few feet away from him. “Nothing. Just lie down and look up at the clouds with me.”
Dean sighed. He was just glad that they were talking. He lay down perpendicular to Castiel at his head. He put his hands behind his head and looked to the sky. He watched the clouds pass, waiting for something to form. “It looks like a penguin.”
“His name was Arthur. While he was in the South Pole he used to-”
“Are we really going to do this?” Dean asked, sitting up.
“You’re the one who started naming cloud shapes.”
“You’re the one who told me to look at them,” Dean argued. He lay back down. “Cas, we need to talk.” Those words were weird coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t really the talking type. He usually avoided moments like these ones, but if he needed to have it with Castiel, he would.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Castiel answered. He scooted up and laid his head down on Dean’s side. “We’re fine.”
“Liar.”
“Dean.” He looked to his side and one of Dean’s hands near his. He reached out and held it.
“You have been avoiding me for two days, Cas.”
“Because I lo… like you.”
“Good, because I don’t know how I’d feel if we just did what we did for kicks and giggles.”
“But it’s not fair to you.” He tried to pull his hand away from Dean’s, but Dean’s grip tightened.
Dean held his grip on Castiel’s hand until he felt him relax and stop fighting. He was glad that Castiel kept his hand in his when he loosened his grip. “You lost me.”
“You’ve liked me much longer than I’ve liked you.”
“Cas, it’s not a competition.”
“It’s weird hearing you say that.”
Dean couldn’t help but smile since he was a competitive person. Everyone knew it from the way he acted on the field and diamond. “But it’s not, Cas,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if I liked you first or you liked me first-”
“It was you.”
Dean’s free hand moved to Castiel’s hair. He ran his fingers through it. “Does that bother you?”
“Not in the way that you think.”
“Care to elaborate?” Dean asked.
“I wish there was a mathematical equation or a chemical formula that I could use to explain this.”
Dean chuckled. The answer was completely Castiel. “I wouldn’t understand it.”
“I don’t want to like you this much if there’s a possibility that you’ll stop liking me.”
Dean stopped stroking Castiel’s hair for a second. He could feel Castiel’s hand shaking in his. “Huh?”
“What if this moment is the peak of the feelings you have for me? I’m still ascending, while you’re on the downward slope.”
He squeezed Castiel’s hand. “That will never happen.”
“Dean. I know you’ve liked me since-”
“Since we were kids,” Dean answered.
“What?” Castiel asked. He pulled his hand out quicker than Dean could keep a hold on him, then sat up.
“Yeah,” Dean said with a laugh. He imagined that Castiel was going to react like that. “You tore my heart out when we were seven years old.”
Castiel sighed and looked down at his lap. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” Dean said. He reached up and rubbed his hand up and down Castiel’s back. “But I cried to my mom for days. I kept telling her that I loved you.”
“What?” Castiel shouted, his eyes wide.
Dean didn’t realize what he said to cause that reaction. When he did, his breath caught in his throat. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I… I was young. I didn’t really grasp the concept of that word.”
“And now?”
“And now…” Dean’s voice trailed off. He waited, trying to think of what he felt for Castiel. He liked Castiel. He cared about Castiel. He wanted to be with Castiel. He knew that his feelings may have changed from when he was seven years old, but he knew that he was supposed to be with his best friend. And now he finally was. “Yeah. I still love you,” he answered after what felt like a lifetime.
“You can grasp the concept of love?”
“Well, the word is constantly evolving. But I know that whatever I feel the word means, I feel it about you.”
“That’s a really grown up answer. Poetic.”
“It’s true.” He had laid out all of his feelings. He hoped that it wouldn’t scare Castiel away. He waited for him to say something. A minute passed. Then two. Three, and Dean began to worry. “Cas, you don’t regret what happened, do you?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then why were you acting so weird?”
Castiel sighed. He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. “I was trying to make sense of everything. And when I couldn’t, it upset me. I mean, I’m still trying to.”
“Not everything has to make sense immediately, Cas.”
“I know. But that doesn’t make me want it to any less.” He reached behind him and grabbed the hand that was on the small of his back. He squeezed it. “I’m glad you were my first.”
“I’m glad you were my first too,” Dean whispered.
“I was your first?”
“Yeah. I figured it would be you, or no one. At least until you got married and then I figured that was the end of it. Then I’d force myself to find someone else. And even then…” his voice softened with each word, he hoped that Castiel understood what he was trying to say. He knew that he had liked Castiel Novak for so long that he didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t.
“Dean.”
“Come here,” Dean said, tugging on Castiel’s arm.
Castiel adjusted and maneuvered himself to lie down on Dean’s shoulder. He tucked face into Dean’s neck and put a hand over Dean’s heart. “We’ll be going off to college soon.”
“I know,” Dean replied.
“We could end up on opposite sides of the country,” he whispered, sad at the possibility.
“I know.”
“I don’t know how to deal with that.”
“I do,” Dean said. He wrapped his arm around Castiel and pulled him in closer. He kissed him on the crown of his forehead. “Cas, I’ve lived without you in my life for years, we’ll make this work.”
Castiel lifted his head and looked into Dean’s eyes. He could see how much Dean believed the words he was saying. It was enough for him to believe those words too. “Okay,” he said.
“And if you’re nervous about the hierarchy or whatever, we’ll be out of high school in a couple of months. And I honestly don’t care because I finally get to be with you. Screw what everyone else thinks. Then again, I’m pretty sure Jaime, Lisa, and Cassie are all for us.”
That was all the reassurance Castiel needed. He covered the right side of Dean’s body with his own. Then he leaned over and kissed his best friend, now boyfriend.
“Get a room!” Gabriel yelled from the kitchen window.
Castiel rolled off of Dean with a laugh. “We should,” he said.
“Yours is closer.”
“It is.” Castiel stood up and Dean followed. He brushed the grass off of Dean’s back.
“By the way, Cas,” Dean started, looking over his shoulder.
“Yes, Dean?” he said as he brushed the grass off of his own clothes.
“I got into Stanford.”
Castiel spun Dean around, and he pressed their lips together before Dean had the chance to react. He kissed Dean until they were both out of breath. He felt Dean grab his arms to keep them standing. He kept their foreheads together, their lips only centimeters apart. “I love you,” Castiel whispered. “And we should celebrate.” He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled them both inside.