[FIC] When We Kiss, Fire for cheesynoodle
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: When We Kiss, Fire
Author: lilyleia78
Recipient: cheesynoodle
Rating: R
Word Count: 3474
Warnings: None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: Through season five
Summary: As things start heating up between Dean and Cas, Dean's amulet heats up whenever they're together.
Author notes: Title taken from the song Fire as sung by The Pointer Sisters. I listened to it a lot while writing this gift and I love it to bits. To my giftee - it was a blast to explore the possibilities with this prompt, so thank you very much for it. Thank you also to my speedy beta, skylar_mathhews. All mistakes are my own.
It started with a fight. Not a guns and blood fight with lives and souls on the line - that might have almost made sense in Dean's messed up world. No, it started with a yelling fight in a bar parking lot in the middle of nowhere.
"Cas, you can't just go accepting drinks from strangers," Dean hissed as soon as he'd dragged Cas out of the bar. And away from the sexual predator who'd been cruising him all night.
Cas's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I've seen you offer and accept many drinks from strangers. I fail to see why I should not be allowed to do the same."
Dean's mouth opened and closed silently for a few minutes before he forced his jaw closed with a snap. "That's different," he grunted finally, leaning back against the Impala balefully.
Cas stepped in closer, so close that Dean could feel the tingling energy coming off of him in waves. He shuddered involuntarily and closed his eyes. "Why is it different, Dean? I'm not unaware of the implications."
Dean's eyes flew open and he shoved Cas back. "What the hell does that mean?" he shouted angrily. Then Cas's words sunk in - implications his ass. "You wanted to get hit on," he accused, poking his finger into Cas's stomach and trying to ignore the lump of lead sitting in his own.
"Just because you find this form unappealing doesn't mean everyone does, Dean Winchester," Cas growled, "And as this body is mine alone, I will do with it as I see fit."
Dean could feel his eyes grow round with shock. "You can't," he roared back unthinkingly. "I won't allow it."
"Why not?" Cas asked, voice shockingly quiet in the aftermath of Dean's rage. "You wish me to stop? Give me a reason, Dean."
"Because…" Dean tried desperately to think. In truth, he wasn't sure himself. All he knew was that seeing that guy paw and simper at Cas all night had made something hot and ugly stir in his chest. "I don't like it," he settled on finally.
"Dean…"
"Don't ask me why, because…" but Dean's defense of his perfectly legitimate non-reason was cut short by Cas's hand wrapping around his wrist.
"Dean," he repeated, "the amulet. It's warm." With his free hand Cas unbuttoned his shirt - Jimmy's stupid white tax account shirt - enough to reveal the amulet Sam had given Dean all those years ago. It didn't look any different to Dean, but Cas was staring at it with wonder like it was something special and amazing, the way he sometimes looked at Dean. Cas pulled at Dean's hand and wrapped their joined fingers firmly around the funny little talisman where it lay against his chest.
Dean looked into Cas's hopeful eyes and squeezed the amulet a little tighter, overwhelmed by the feel of Cas's callused fingers tangled with his own and the smooth expanse of chest pressing into the back of Dean's hand.
"It's a warm night," he said finally, releasing the amulet and stepping away from Cas so he could catch his breath and clear his head.. "And I think we both need to calm down."
Cas nodded reluctantly. "Perhaps you are correct," he conceded, putting his shirt back in order with his mojo. But Dean didn't miss the way his hand absently stroked over the amulet on the ride back to the room he was sharing with Sam. It made him want to capture Cas's hand in his own, hold it still.
Dean sighed as he pulled in front of the motel. "Why don't you go check anyway?" he suggested, "Better safe than sorry."
Cas was gone before Dean could finish the sentence.
Cas found nothing of course, and as the weeks passed without a recurrence Dean became convinced that Cas had imagined the whole thing. When it happened a second time, Dean had bigger things to think about than some talisman going all space heater on him.
"Cas, come on man. Don't do this to me," Dean muttered, running his hands over Cas's prone body as the angel lay unnaturally still and quiet on the dirty barn floor, searching in vain for injuries. There was a lot of blood though, so Dean knew something had been hurt badly. "Open your eyes, you stupid bastard."
Cas didn't move
"Dean," Sam said from somewhere above him. "He's going to be okay."
Dean scowled up at his brother from his position kneeling at Cas's side. Sam had no idea if Cas was gonna be okay. They'd both lost sight of him hours ago, too focused on cleaning out the nest of quanliers - a whole freaking nest when all the literature said there was only one - to notice when he'd gone down. It could have been hours for all they knew, and angels didn't go down easy.
Dean almost said all of this to Sammy, but Sam was watching him with something soft and understanding in his eyes that pissed Dean off. "Thank you, Captain Obvious," he said, trying to project a confidence and indifference he didn't really feel. "Of course he's gonna be okay. I'll kick his ass if he's not."
And, yeah, Dean knew that didn't make any sense, but the point was that Cas had to stop doing this shit to him. "Castiel, wake the hell up. You are not allowed to leave me. You hear that. So open your eyes before I do something drastic." Dean cast his mind around for something that would make Cas wake up. "I'll call down Michael and give myself to him in exchange for your stupid, sorry life."
"Dean," Sam began, but Dean didn't have to listen to whatever reprimand his brother was formulating because just then Cas woke up, gasping for air Dean knew he didn't need.
Dean grabbed Cas's shoulders. "Cas! You okay? What happened?"
"I'm fine, Dean," Cas said, cool and calm as ever. His face scrunched up in thought, and Dean could admit - if only to himself - that the expression was adorable. "I believe I had the wind knocked out of me."
Dean laughed in relief, moving his hands from Cas's shoulders and lowering his head to rest on Cas's breastbone. He didn't even care that Cas was full of it, obviously downplaying his injury in true Winchester fashion. He was just glad Cas was back with them.
Cas's hand cupped the back of Dean's head gently, his touch hesitant as he began stroking through Dean's hair. Dean knew he should pull away before things got awkward, but it just felt so good to feel Cas warm and alive and breathing beneath him that he couldn't find it in himself to move.
Dean could hear Sam shifting above them. "I'm just going to pull the car closer. Cas should probably stay with us for awhile, make sure he's really okay."
"Thanks, Sammy," Dean answered, still not moving from where his face was pressed into Cas's chest.
Sam's footsteps retreated, and the only noise Dean could hear was the beating of Cas's borrowed heart and the slow, steady rhythm of his breath. "I would appreciate it if you would refrain from trading yourself for my safety," Cas remarked after an unknown while.
Dean snorted. "I'd appreciate it if you'd quit dying on my behalf," he countered.
Dean could feel the hesitation in Cas's voice before he spoke again. "Given the choice," he said, so quietly that Dean had to strain to hear him even in the quiet around them, "I would choose to stay here with you."
"Cas," Dean breathed, pressing a kiss to Cas's chest before he could think it through and stop himself.
"Dean," Cas answered, hand tightening in Dean's hair. "I…"
"Shhh," Dean soothed, lifting his head to look Cas in the eye.
Cas's expression was one part confused, one part hopeful, but tender and full of something that Dean couldn't bear to look at too closely. He had no choice but to kiss each eye closed before skimming his lips over Cas's slightly parted mouth, more a sharing of air than a real kiss.
"Dean," Cas sighed.
"Yeah," Dean answered, head dipping for a real kiss. Before his lips could hit their intended mark Cas gasped, eyes flying open to meet Dean's. "What is it?" Dean asked, pulling back a few inches.
"The amulet," Cas said, eyes never leaving Dean's, "it's heating up again."
Dean closed his eyes and pushed back his stupid expectations and stupider disappointment before sitting up. "You'd better go look for your dad then," he said, refusing to meet Cas's eyes.
Cas sat up too. He reached out with one hand and lay it on Dean's arm, covering the his own handprint there and startling Dean into looking at him. "Given the choice," he repeated, "I would choose to stay here with you."
Dean kissed him then - couldn't not kiss him - his mouth sealing over Cas's like Cas's hand was sealed over his scar. Cas whimpered against his lips and then opened without hesitation when the sound forced Dean to lick his way into Cas's mouth. It was hot and bruising and messy and the kind of perfect Dean wanted to experience over and over again.
Dean pulled back and smiled when Cas tried to follow him. He dipped back in for another brief press of lips before sighing. "You really should go look," he said reluctantly.
"Dean?" Cas looked uncertain, but Dean was quick to reassure him with another kiss.
"If He's out there - which I doubt, but if He is - then we gotta find him. If anyone could use a Deus Ex Machina, it's us," Dean explained.
Cas leaned in, initiating another kiss, and nodded. "Very well." Cas stood up and helped Dean to his feet. "But I shall return as soon as I've checked the area thoroughly," he promised. "We can continue this discussion then."
Dean chuckled. "Discussion? Is that what the angelic kids are calling it these days?"
"Yes," Cas said firmly. "I believe you should go collect your brother now. He's been waiting patiently in the Impala for quite a long time."
Dean nodded and pressed one last kiss to Cas's soft, unresisting lips and turned toward the door. He only made it a few steps before Cas's voice stopped him. "Dean, I believe you'd better get two rooms tonight."
Dean turned back, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh?"
"I'm afraid our discussion might get quite loud, and I have no wish to disturb Sam." Cas's eyes bore into Dean's with meaning, and it wasn't like Dean could misunderstand that even without the eye sex. And Dean wanted - oh, how he wanted - but… "Cas," he said, "we don't have to… There's no need to rush things. You know, if you're not comfortable."
Cas's lips quirked up in an approximation of a smile. "Thank you Dean. I would like that. But I do not believe Sam would enjoy watching us 'make out' either."
Cas left with a soft flutter, and Dean closed his eyes, focusing on the promise in Cas's kiss before continuing on to find his brother.
***
If this story had happened to anyone not named Dean Winchester, that moment in the barn would have led to more kisses and sex and confessions and a lot of stuff Dean never thought he'd get a chance to experience. That would have been the turning point, the beginning of happily ever after, and Dean and Cas would have ridden off into the proverbial sunset with Sam by their side.
But since this is Dean Winchester's story, things took a decidedly annoying turn.
Starting the night after the kiss in the barn and continuing for literally months, the amulet started heating up every time Dean and Cas were in the same room together. It was an even bigger cock block than Sam, who may have smirked and crowed loudly about how he 'knew it all along' but shut up and got the hell out of Dodge before clothes and feathers started flying.
Most of the time Dean didn't even notice until Cas was already pulling away regretfully to go on another pointless search for God. But Dean was pretty sure he could be forgiven for not noticing. Kissing and licking his way down miles and miles of delicious naked Cas made it kind of hard to notice that one (un)important part might be hotter than the rest.
Cas, of course, noticed right away. Every time.
***
It ended with peace. Not diverted-apocalypse peace - that would have made too much sense for Dean's world. No, it ended with a smaller peace. The kind Dean found worshipping Cas's borrowed body in a gaudy hotel room in the middle of nowhere.
"Dean," Cas said, voice deep and hoarse and going straight to Dean's dick like it had its own private line.
"Shhh, I got you," Dean answered soothingly, dipping his head to suck at the appealing jut of Cas's hip.
"No, Dean," Cas repeated. Dean pulled away with a satisfying pop as he released Cas's flesh, leaving behind a dark purple bruise that was already fading.
"What's up, Cas?" he asked, curious but not really paying attention, busy as he was mapping the next spot he wanted to mark - however temporarily - on Cas's skin.
"The amulet is growing warm again," he said wearily, frustration visible in the suddenly tense lines of his body.
Dean stiffened and looked up toward Cas's neck as if he could actually see the heat from it with his bare eyes. "Body heat?" he suggested, but he knew from experience that he was grasping at straws.
Cas frowned at him for just a moment before turning his attention back to the amulet around his neck. "No," he said.
"Yeah," Dean agreed with a sigh, "that'd be too easy." He rolled off of Cas reluctantly and pulled on his jeans before resettling on the bed near Cas's head. "So you gotta go," he said, not even trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, "again."
"No," Cas answered, grabbing Dean's hand and lacing their fingers together. Dean had never been much for holding hands, but Cas liked it so Dean endured it. More than endured it if he was being honest with himself. He liked the way their hands fit together, like they were made to be together.
"No," Dean repeated, looking up from where their hands lay entwined on his thigh.
"No," Cas affirmed. "I no do not believe - in this instance - that the amulet is warming up due to my Father's physical presence."
"Oh?" Dean asked, surprised, "You got a theory as to why the stupid thing is trying to keep us from getting it on then?"
Cas pulled their hands to his face and kissed the back of Dean's before sitting up and facing him. "I don't think that's what it is trying to accomplish at all, but I believe I know why it is heating up," he said finally, "Ὁ θεὸς ἀγάπη ἐστίν, καὶ ὁ μένων ἐν τῇ ἀγάπῃ ἐν τῷ θεῷ μένει καὶ ὁ θεὸς ἐν αὐτῷ μένει."
Dean waited, but Cas seemed content to leave it at that. "Let's pretend I didn't understand that," he prompted.
"1 John 4:16," Cas answered. Then, "I love you, Dean."
Before Dean could response - hell, before Dean could even process what Cas was saying - Cas was gone.
Dean stared around the empty room in shock, thoughts tumbling over and over in his head. Cas loved him. Castiel, freaking Angel of the Lord, loved Dean - tarnished, imperfect, miserable excuse for a human being Dean.
Okay, that wasn't really a shock, Dean had known that for awhile. Not enough to acknowledge it or let himself think about it too closely, but yeah, he'd known. The same way he knew that what he felt for Cas was only partially lust and friendship. It was something else, something he hadn't felt around anyone since Cassie.
What he didn't know was how that related to the amulet or some random bible verse. He dug the standard Gideon Bible out of the nightstand, flipped quickly to 1 John and located the correct verse. "God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him," he read aloud. So God was present in love? "Kinky," he decided.
Realization - no, revelation - hit him then. God dwells in a person in love. Cas thought that's why the amulet was heating up, because they were in love. That was… Actually, that almost made sense. More sense than God randomly showing up every time they were together and then scampering back into hiding a few minutes later. Maybe. Dean didn't pretend to understand the mind of God.
Except that didn't explain why Cas had left before Dean could say anything. Unless Cas thought the amulet was heating up just because he loved Dean. It was possible Cas didn't know the feelings were mutual. More than possible actually: Dean wasn't exactly the Winchester most in touch with his feelings.
"Stupid angel." Dean sighed, steeling himself for what he knew he had to do next. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head over folded hands like any precious moments figure ever created. "Castiel, get your feathery ass back down here. I love you, you stupid angel and you had better come back so I can prove it to you or so help me I'll..."
"Dean," Cas said, stopping the threat before Dean could come up with something suitably dire.
Dean looked up, the relief in his heart probably ruining the scowl he was sending the angel. "Cas."
"My ass is not feathery," Castiel offered, expression dead serious if you didn't know to watch for the crinkles around the eyes that passed as laughter
.
Dean snorted and held up a hand, silently asking Cas to help him up. "Yeah, I know," he said with a smirk.
Castiel helped him up but didn't back up once Dean was on his feet, keeping him well within any recognizable personal bubble. Dean leaned in even closer and pressed his mouth gently, tenderly against the angel's. "Say it again," Castiel asked quietly.
Dean didn't have to ask what he meant. "I love you, Cas. Sorry you ever doubted it."
"I didn’t. Your soul fairly shouts it," Castiel confessed, "but I had thought you might not be ready to acknowledge it."
Dean huffed quiet laughter. "Stupid secret revealing soul," he said with feigned annoyance.
"Stupid secret revealing amulet," Cas retorted.
"Yeah," Dean agreed, the smile fading from his face. "Sorry it wasn't really your dad, Cas. That must suck."
"On the contrary," Cas said, slipping his arms around Dean's waist. "I am more confident than ever that the amulet can and will lead us to the Father."
"Hmmm," Dean hummed, distracted by the tempting line of Cas's stubbled jaw. He leaned down to nip at it playfully and was rewarded by a gasp from Cas.
"Perhaps it would be for the best if the necklace was put up while we are together," Cas said, panting and pulling Dean in closer by the belt loops. "I have no wish to think of my Father while I am with you in this manner. Or to risk burning down the room."
Dean was way ahead of him, already pulling the leather thong over Cas's head. "Hold on," he said, heading for the door.
"Dean, where are you going?" Cas asked, staring after him in confusion.
"I'm gonna take this to the car. Better yet, to Sammy, don't want to risk setting my baby on fire either." Dean grinned over his shoulder. "When I get back I the only thing heating up in this room is gonna be you."
It was a stupid line, but Cas's rare delighted laughter followed him out of the room, warming him from the inside out.
Title: When We Kiss, Fire
Author: lilyleia78
Recipient: cheesynoodle
Rating: R
Word Count: 3474
Warnings: None that I'm aware of
Spoilers: Through season five
Summary: As things start heating up between Dean and Cas, Dean's amulet heats up whenever they're together.
Author notes: Title taken from the song Fire as sung by The Pointer Sisters. I listened to it a lot while writing this gift and I love it to bits. To my giftee - it was a blast to explore the possibilities with this prompt, so thank you very much for it. Thank you also to my speedy beta, skylar_mathhews. All mistakes are my own.
It started with a fight. Not a guns and blood fight with lives and souls on the line - that might have almost made sense in Dean's messed up world. No, it started with a yelling fight in a bar parking lot in the middle of nowhere.
"Cas, you can't just go accepting drinks from strangers," Dean hissed as soon as he'd dragged Cas out of the bar. And away from the sexual predator who'd been cruising him all night.
Cas's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I've seen you offer and accept many drinks from strangers. I fail to see why I should not be allowed to do the same."
Dean's mouth opened and closed silently for a few minutes before he forced his jaw closed with a snap. "That's different," he grunted finally, leaning back against the Impala balefully.
Cas stepped in closer, so close that Dean could feel the tingling energy coming off of him in waves. He shuddered involuntarily and closed his eyes. "Why is it different, Dean? I'm not unaware of the implications."
Dean's eyes flew open and he shoved Cas back. "What the hell does that mean?" he shouted angrily. Then Cas's words sunk in - implications his ass. "You wanted to get hit on," he accused, poking his finger into Cas's stomach and trying to ignore the lump of lead sitting in his own.
"Just because you find this form unappealing doesn't mean everyone does, Dean Winchester," Cas growled, "And as this body is mine alone, I will do with it as I see fit."
Dean could feel his eyes grow round with shock. "You can't," he roared back unthinkingly. "I won't allow it."
"Why not?" Cas asked, voice shockingly quiet in the aftermath of Dean's rage. "You wish me to stop? Give me a reason, Dean."
"Because…" Dean tried desperately to think. In truth, he wasn't sure himself. All he knew was that seeing that guy paw and simper at Cas all night had made something hot and ugly stir in his chest. "I don't like it," he settled on finally.
"Dean…"
"Don't ask me why, because…" but Dean's defense of his perfectly legitimate non-reason was cut short by Cas's hand wrapping around his wrist.
"Dean," he repeated, "the amulet. It's warm." With his free hand Cas unbuttoned his shirt - Jimmy's stupid white tax account shirt - enough to reveal the amulet Sam had given Dean all those years ago. It didn't look any different to Dean, but Cas was staring at it with wonder like it was something special and amazing, the way he sometimes looked at Dean. Cas pulled at Dean's hand and wrapped their joined fingers firmly around the funny little talisman where it lay against his chest.
Dean looked into Cas's hopeful eyes and squeezed the amulet a little tighter, overwhelmed by the feel of Cas's callused fingers tangled with his own and the smooth expanse of chest pressing into the back of Dean's hand.
"It's a warm night," he said finally, releasing the amulet and stepping away from Cas so he could catch his breath and clear his head.. "And I think we both need to calm down."
Cas nodded reluctantly. "Perhaps you are correct," he conceded, putting his shirt back in order with his mojo. But Dean didn't miss the way his hand absently stroked over the amulet on the ride back to the room he was sharing with Sam. It made him want to capture Cas's hand in his own, hold it still.
Dean sighed as he pulled in front of the motel. "Why don't you go check anyway?" he suggested, "Better safe than sorry."
Cas was gone before Dean could finish the sentence.
Cas found nothing of course, and as the weeks passed without a recurrence Dean became convinced that Cas had imagined the whole thing. When it happened a second time, Dean had bigger things to think about than some talisman going all space heater on him.
"Cas, come on man. Don't do this to me," Dean muttered, running his hands over Cas's prone body as the angel lay unnaturally still and quiet on the dirty barn floor, searching in vain for injuries. There was a lot of blood though, so Dean knew something had been hurt badly. "Open your eyes, you stupid bastard."
Cas didn't move
"Dean," Sam said from somewhere above him. "He's going to be okay."
Dean scowled up at his brother from his position kneeling at Cas's side. Sam had no idea if Cas was gonna be okay. They'd both lost sight of him hours ago, too focused on cleaning out the nest of quanliers - a whole freaking nest when all the literature said there was only one - to notice when he'd gone down. It could have been hours for all they knew, and angels didn't go down easy.
Dean almost said all of this to Sammy, but Sam was watching him with something soft and understanding in his eyes that pissed Dean off. "Thank you, Captain Obvious," he said, trying to project a confidence and indifference he didn't really feel. "Of course he's gonna be okay. I'll kick his ass if he's not."
And, yeah, Dean knew that didn't make any sense, but the point was that Cas had to stop doing this shit to him. "Castiel, wake the hell up. You are not allowed to leave me. You hear that. So open your eyes before I do something drastic." Dean cast his mind around for something that would make Cas wake up. "I'll call down Michael and give myself to him in exchange for your stupid, sorry life."
"Dean," Sam began, but Dean didn't have to listen to whatever reprimand his brother was formulating because just then Cas woke up, gasping for air Dean knew he didn't need.
Dean grabbed Cas's shoulders. "Cas! You okay? What happened?"
"I'm fine, Dean," Cas said, cool and calm as ever. His face scrunched up in thought, and Dean could admit - if only to himself - that the expression was adorable. "I believe I had the wind knocked out of me."
Dean laughed in relief, moving his hands from Cas's shoulders and lowering his head to rest on Cas's breastbone. He didn't even care that Cas was full of it, obviously downplaying his injury in true Winchester fashion. He was just glad Cas was back with them.
Cas's hand cupped the back of Dean's head gently, his touch hesitant as he began stroking through Dean's hair. Dean knew he should pull away before things got awkward, but it just felt so good to feel Cas warm and alive and breathing beneath him that he couldn't find it in himself to move.
Dean could hear Sam shifting above them. "I'm just going to pull the car closer. Cas should probably stay with us for awhile, make sure he's really okay."
"Thanks, Sammy," Dean answered, still not moving from where his face was pressed into Cas's chest.
Sam's footsteps retreated, and the only noise Dean could hear was the beating of Cas's borrowed heart and the slow, steady rhythm of his breath. "I would appreciate it if you would refrain from trading yourself for my safety," Cas remarked after an unknown while.
Dean snorted. "I'd appreciate it if you'd quit dying on my behalf," he countered.
Dean could feel the hesitation in Cas's voice before he spoke again. "Given the choice," he said, so quietly that Dean had to strain to hear him even in the quiet around them, "I would choose to stay here with you."
"Cas," Dean breathed, pressing a kiss to Cas's chest before he could think it through and stop himself.
"Dean," Cas answered, hand tightening in Dean's hair. "I…"
"Shhh," Dean soothed, lifting his head to look Cas in the eye.
Cas's expression was one part confused, one part hopeful, but tender and full of something that Dean couldn't bear to look at too closely. He had no choice but to kiss each eye closed before skimming his lips over Cas's slightly parted mouth, more a sharing of air than a real kiss.
"Dean," Cas sighed.
"Yeah," Dean answered, head dipping for a real kiss. Before his lips could hit their intended mark Cas gasped, eyes flying open to meet Dean's. "What is it?" Dean asked, pulling back a few inches.
"The amulet," Cas said, eyes never leaving Dean's, "it's heating up again."
Dean closed his eyes and pushed back his stupid expectations and stupider disappointment before sitting up. "You'd better go look for your dad then," he said, refusing to meet Cas's eyes.
Cas sat up too. He reached out with one hand and lay it on Dean's arm, covering the his own handprint there and startling Dean into looking at him. "Given the choice," he repeated, "I would choose to stay here with you."
Dean kissed him then - couldn't not kiss him - his mouth sealing over Cas's like Cas's hand was sealed over his scar. Cas whimpered against his lips and then opened without hesitation when the sound forced Dean to lick his way into Cas's mouth. It was hot and bruising and messy and the kind of perfect Dean wanted to experience over and over again.
Dean pulled back and smiled when Cas tried to follow him. He dipped back in for another brief press of lips before sighing. "You really should go look," he said reluctantly.
"Dean?" Cas looked uncertain, but Dean was quick to reassure him with another kiss.
"If He's out there - which I doubt, but if He is - then we gotta find him. If anyone could use a Deus Ex Machina, it's us," Dean explained.
Cas leaned in, initiating another kiss, and nodded. "Very well." Cas stood up and helped Dean to his feet. "But I shall return as soon as I've checked the area thoroughly," he promised. "We can continue this discussion then."
Dean chuckled. "Discussion? Is that what the angelic kids are calling it these days?"
"Yes," Cas said firmly. "I believe you should go collect your brother now. He's been waiting patiently in the Impala for quite a long time."
Dean nodded and pressed one last kiss to Cas's soft, unresisting lips and turned toward the door. He only made it a few steps before Cas's voice stopped him. "Dean, I believe you'd better get two rooms tonight."
Dean turned back, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh?"
"I'm afraid our discussion might get quite loud, and I have no wish to disturb Sam." Cas's eyes bore into Dean's with meaning, and it wasn't like Dean could misunderstand that even without the eye sex. And Dean wanted - oh, how he wanted - but… "Cas," he said, "we don't have to… There's no need to rush things. You know, if you're not comfortable."
Cas's lips quirked up in an approximation of a smile. "Thank you Dean. I would like that. But I do not believe Sam would enjoy watching us 'make out' either."
Cas left with a soft flutter, and Dean closed his eyes, focusing on the promise in Cas's kiss before continuing on to find his brother.
***
If this story had happened to anyone not named Dean Winchester, that moment in the barn would have led to more kisses and sex and confessions and a lot of stuff Dean never thought he'd get a chance to experience. That would have been the turning point, the beginning of happily ever after, and Dean and Cas would have ridden off into the proverbial sunset with Sam by their side.
But since this is Dean Winchester's story, things took a decidedly annoying turn.
Starting the night after the kiss in the barn and continuing for literally months, the amulet started heating up every time Dean and Cas were in the same room together. It was an even bigger cock block than Sam, who may have smirked and crowed loudly about how he 'knew it all along' but shut up and got the hell out of Dodge before clothes and feathers started flying.
Most of the time Dean didn't even notice until Cas was already pulling away regretfully to go on another pointless search for God. But Dean was pretty sure he could be forgiven for not noticing. Kissing and licking his way down miles and miles of delicious naked Cas made it kind of hard to notice that one (un)important part might be hotter than the rest.
Cas, of course, noticed right away. Every time.
***
It ended with peace. Not diverted-apocalypse peace - that would have made too much sense for Dean's world. No, it ended with a smaller peace. The kind Dean found worshipping Cas's borrowed body in a gaudy hotel room in the middle of nowhere.
"Dean," Cas said, voice deep and hoarse and going straight to Dean's dick like it had its own private line.
"Shhh, I got you," Dean answered soothingly, dipping his head to suck at the appealing jut of Cas's hip.
"No, Dean," Cas repeated. Dean pulled away with a satisfying pop as he released Cas's flesh, leaving behind a dark purple bruise that was already fading.
"What's up, Cas?" he asked, curious but not really paying attention, busy as he was mapping the next spot he wanted to mark - however temporarily - on Cas's skin.
"The amulet is growing warm again," he said wearily, frustration visible in the suddenly tense lines of his body.
Dean stiffened and looked up toward Cas's neck as if he could actually see the heat from it with his bare eyes. "Body heat?" he suggested, but he knew from experience that he was grasping at straws.
Cas frowned at him for just a moment before turning his attention back to the amulet around his neck. "No," he said.
"Yeah," Dean agreed with a sigh, "that'd be too easy." He rolled off of Cas reluctantly and pulled on his jeans before resettling on the bed near Cas's head. "So you gotta go," he said, not even trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, "again."
"No," Cas answered, grabbing Dean's hand and lacing their fingers together. Dean had never been much for holding hands, but Cas liked it so Dean endured it. More than endured it if he was being honest with himself. He liked the way their hands fit together, like they were made to be together.
"No," Dean repeated, looking up from where their hands lay entwined on his thigh.
"No," Cas affirmed. "I no do not believe - in this instance - that the amulet is warming up due to my Father's physical presence."
"Oh?" Dean asked, surprised, "You got a theory as to why the stupid thing is trying to keep us from getting it on then?"
Cas pulled their hands to his face and kissed the back of Dean's before sitting up and facing him. "I don't think that's what it is trying to accomplish at all, but I believe I know why it is heating up," he said finally, "Ὁ θεὸς ἀγάπη ἐστίν, καὶ ὁ μένων ἐν τῇ ἀγάπῃ ἐν τῷ θεῷ μένει καὶ ὁ θεὸς ἐν αὐτῷ μένει."
Dean waited, but Cas seemed content to leave it at that. "Let's pretend I didn't understand that," he prompted.
"1 John 4:16," Cas answered. Then, "I love you, Dean."
Before Dean could response - hell, before Dean could even process what Cas was saying - Cas was gone.
Dean stared around the empty room in shock, thoughts tumbling over and over in his head. Cas loved him. Castiel, freaking Angel of the Lord, loved Dean - tarnished, imperfect, miserable excuse for a human being Dean.
Okay, that wasn't really a shock, Dean had known that for awhile. Not enough to acknowledge it or let himself think about it too closely, but yeah, he'd known. The same way he knew that what he felt for Cas was only partially lust and friendship. It was something else, something he hadn't felt around anyone since Cassie.
What he didn't know was how that related to the amulet or some random bible verse. He dug the standard Gideon Bible out of the nightstand, flipped quickly to 1 John and located the correct verse. "God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him," he read aloud. So God was present in love? "Kinky," he decided.
Realization - no, revelation - hit him then. God dwells in a person in love. Cas thought that's why the amulet was heating up, because they were in love. That was… Actually, that almost made sense. More sense than God randomly showing up every time they were together and then scampering back into hiding a few minutes later. Maybe. Dean didn't pretend to understand the mind of God.
Except that didn't explain why Cas had left before Dean could say anything. Unless Cas thought the amulet was heating up just because he loved Dean. It was possible Cas didn't know the feelings were mutual. More than possible actually: Dean wasn't exactly the Winchester most in touch with his feelings.
"Stupid angel." Dean sighed, steeling himself for what he knew he had to do next. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head over folded hands like any precious moments figure ever created. "Castiel, get your feathery ass back down here. I love you, you stupid angel and you had better come back so I can prove it to you or so help me I'll..."
"Dean," Cas said, stopping the threat before Dean could come up with something suitably dire.
Dean looked up, the relief in his heart probably ruining the scowl he was sending the angel. "Cas."
"My ass is not feathery," Castiel offered, expression dead serious if you didn't know to watch for the crinkles around the eyes that passed as laughter
.
Dean snorted and held up a hand, silently asking Cas to help him up. "Yeah, I know," he said with a smirk.
Castiel helped him up but didn't back up once Dean was on his feet, keeping him well within any recognizable personal bubble. Dean leaned in even closer and pressed his mouth gently, tenderly against the angel's. "Say it again," Castiel asked quietly.
Dean didn't have to ask what he meant. "I love you, Cas. Sorry you ever doubted it."
"I didn’t. Your soul fairly shouts it," Castiel confessed, "but I had thought you might not be ready to acknowledge it."
Dean huffed quiet laughter. "Stupid secret revealing soul," he said with feigned annoyance.
"Stupid secret revealing amulet," Cas retorted.
"Yeah," Dean agreed, the smile fading from his face. "Sorry it wasn't really your dad, Cas. That must suck."
"On the contrary," Cas said, slipping his arms around Dean's waist. "I am more confident than ever that the amulet can and will lead us to the Father."
"Hmmm," Dean hummed, distracted by the tempting line of Cas's stubbled jaw. He leaned down to nip at it playfully and was rewarded by a gasp from Cas.
"Perhaps it would be for the best if the necklace was put up while we are together," Cas said, panting and pulling Dean in closer by the belt loops. "I have no wish to think of my Father while I am with you in this manner. Or to risk burning down the room."
Dean was way ahead of him, already pulling the leather thong over Cas's head. "Hold on," he said, heading for the door.
"Dean, where are you going?" Cas asked, staring after him in confusion.
"I'm gonna take this to the car. Better yet, to Sammy, don't want to risk setting my baby on fire either." Dean grinned over his shoulder. "When I get back I the only thing heating up in this room is gonna be you."
It was a stupid line, but Cas's rare delighted laughter followed him out of the room, warming him from the inside out.