[FIC] Open Your Eyes for heavenlyxbodies
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: Open Your Eyes
Author: ru_salki99
Recipient: heavenlyxbodies
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: none
Spoilers: season 5
Wordcount: 4012
Summary: Dean’s only just realised that he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life on his own. But is it too late for him to find love?
Author notes: I have no idea why I was paired with you, your squicks are what I write, and my squicks are what you requested. I was very confused. However, I did my very best to write something that you would like. I just hope you aren’t too disappointed.
“If you fight love, you’re always the loser.”
Dean wasn’t sure where he’d seen it or even heard it from; maybe during an ad break while watching Dr Sexy or maybe it was on a billboard or the cover of some magazine at a gas station. Wherever he’d seen it, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was that it had stuck with him. Not only did he hate to lose, but it made him realise that he might like to try some of that. Sometime.
If he ever met anyone who he could actually be himself with.
That was the rub really. Now that he knew that he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his days - some would say being in his thirties, it was a bit late for him to come to this realisation, but screw them - he’d also come to realise that he didn’t really have an opportunity to find someone.
Jo had probably been his best bet. She’d been a part of his life for a few years, had known him pretty well and still liked him, not to mention she had been all kinds of hot. But she was gone now, and with it, any chance he might’ve had to make them both happy. She’d deserved better than him anyway.
There really wasn’t anyone else. Hell, even opportunities for one night stands were at an all time low. He guessed that was partly due to the apocalypse and all, but he couldn’t be sure. And as much as he would like to get laid as often as possible, he really didn’t have the time to worry about his dick or lack of ‘love’ in his life due to said aforementioned apocalypse.
However, after spending time in that psych unit, he realised just how pathetic he really was. He’d never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months. Yeah, sure he moved about a lot. But really? Not even in school had he gone out with a girl long enough to go steady. Sam hadn’t had any trouble. He’d always seemed to pick one girl wherever they went and say with her until they moved on. And then he’d had Jess and to some extent Ruby - although that was probably the most fucked up ‘relationship’ that either of them had ever had.
But not Dean. Dean had had no one. And yes, he was well aware of the fact that he was beginning to feel ridiculously sorry for himself, that he had taken to going off on his own - Sam had had enough of his pity party apparently - to get drunk and drown his sorrows. But he didn’t care. It helped numb the loneliness and that’s all that mattered.
It was during one of his ‘if I survive this apocalypse I’m going to grow old and die alone’ moments at the some biker bar not far from their motel that Castiel found him.
“Dean,” he said as he sat down next to him, frowning at the empty shot glasses and beer bottles on the table.
“What you doing here?” Dean asked, downing another shot.
“Sam told me you were here,” Castiel explained. “I came to make sure you didn’t get into any trouble.”
Dean rolled his eyes and picked up his beer, hoping that if he ignored Castiel long enough he’d go away.
“Why are you so miserable Dean?” Castiel asked him.
Dean hesitated before swallowing, shrugging as his answer.
“You have not been yourself for some time,” Castiel told him. “I am worried about you.”
“Well don’t. I’m fine.”
There was a silence between them as Dean drained his beer, Castiel watching him, studying him, before Castiel spoke again, “You feel unloved.”
Dean almost choked on his beer, but thankfully, managed to swallow it all and not spray any onto the table in front of him.
“You are very much loved Dean. Sam loves you. Bobby does too. I love you…”
“You don’t understand Cas,” Dean said as he made to stand up, stumbling a little as he did so.
“Then explain it to me,” Castiel said as he put an arm out to steady Dean as he pulled some money out his wallet to leave on the table.
Dean huffed and pulled away from Castiel and began to head towards the exit, not caring whether Castiel followed or not. But Castiel didn’t follow, instead he just mojo’d himself outside and landed right in front of Dean, preventing him from moving any further.
“Cas. You’re in my way,” Dean said.
“Explain to me why our love for you is not enough?” Castiel persisted.
“Damn it Cas! Because you’re not ‘in love’ with me. It’s completely different, okay?”
Castiel frowned and Dean could just see the wheels turning in his head, “You wish for romantic companionship?”
Dean sighed, “Yeah okay. Yeah I do. Now, will you please just leave me alone so that I can drag my ass back to my room before I pass out.”
Castiel nodded shortly before stepping to the side and out of Dean’s way. Dean didn’t look over his shoulder to see if Castiel was still there as he walked across the street to the motel. But he could feel the angel’s weighty stare on him anyway and hoped that at least, with him half explaining himself, that Castiel wouldn’t bring it up again.
He was however, very wrong.
~*~*~*~*~*~
They were at Bobby’s deciding to lay low there for a while and help him with whatever research he had going on. They were not checking up on him. Or at least, that’s what they told him, truth was, it put both of their minds’ at ease to actually see him with their own eyes and know that he was still in one piece.
However, research? Not so much Dean’s thing and he soon found himself to be pretty bored. So when Castiel showed up, he was a little relieved. While Castiel was still annoyed at the little success on the search for his father, he seemed to be more accommodating to Dean and his restlessness, letting him teach him how to play cards or show him just why Dr Sexy was so damn awesome.
But two days after Castiel’s arrival, just as they were finishing the pie that Castiel had made (using Karen’s recipe with the reasoning that he had to learn how to cook sometime) Castiel turned to Dean.
“I’d like to go so see a movie.”
Dean paused, his last forkful halfway to his mouth, “Um… why?”
“Because I have never been and I’ve heard lots of humans talking about going to the movies,” Castiel explained.
Dean finished chewing his pie before nodding, “Okay,” he said as he stood up and headed into the other room to grab his jacket. As he headed back towards the kitchen, he shouted down the hall towards where he knew Sam and Bobby were that he and Castiel were heading out for a while.
“Okay,” Sam shouted back.
That done, Dean led the way out to the car, Castiel close behind him.
The ride to the movie theatre was pretty quiet, with Castiel staring out the window, Dean glancing over at him every now and again, wondering why it was now, out of all the time they’d known each other, that Castiel wanted to go to the movies. But then, trying to figure out just how the mind of an angel worked was worse probably more difficult than the world’s hardest sudoku puzzle. Or at least, he assumed it would be, if he ever did sudoku puzzles. Which he didn’t ‘cause they were for dorks, like Sam.
The theatre was pretty quiet, what with it being during the day on a Thursday, but Dean wasn’t going to complain as it meant that they could get the best seats and not have to worry about pain in the ass kids. But of course, the only movie showing that afternoon was a total chick flick and while Dean was so, so reluctant to actually pay to watch such crap, he didn’t want to disappoint Castiel. And that is how he found himself sitting in an almost empty movie theatre with an angel, watching The “Goddamned Fucking” Proposal.
It was actually kind of painful. But, every time he looked at Castiel out of the corner of his eye it was to see him completely enthralled, his face going from a deep frown of concentration to a soft smile and back again. It was weird. But, if he was enjoying it - which he apparently was since he wasn’t complaining or making any kind of queries as to all the giant plot holes - then Dean wasn’t going to complain.
When the movie finally finished, Dean let out a huge sigh of relief and stood to leave, but Castiel seemed determined to watch the credits ‘til the end, so reluctantly he sat back down.
The house lights soon came on, showing that they were the only two remaining while some spotty kid came in with a garbage bag and a broom. He took one look at Dean and Castiel and headed towards them.
“Dude, movie’s over,” he said, “you and your boyfriend gotta go now.”
Dean was too busy scraping his jaw off the floor to react much to that, however, it seemed Castiel had heard the kid as he stood up, his coat draped over one arm as he yanked Dean up with his free hand.
“We were just leaving,” he told the little punk, practically dragging Dean out before he got his wits about him and started swinging.
“Cas will you let go of me?” Dean asked, pulling his arm out of Castiel’s grasp once they reached the foyer.
Castiel merely raised an eyebrow at him, his mouth quirking into a half smile before he continued towards the exit. Dean frowned again, fixed his jacket and followed after him, ignoring the ‘knowing’ looks he was getting from the staff at the confectionary stand.
How the Hell could they think that not only was he gay, but that Castiel was his boyfriend? Okay, sure they went together to see a romantic comedy, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Friends went to the movies together all the time. And it wasn’t like there was another movie they could’ve picked.
“Dean?” Castiel called as he popped his head back in the door, “I would like to get some food. Please hurry up,” he said before he disappeared back outside.
There was some definite sniggering from the kids that were supposed to be working and some muttering of ‘whipped’ but he did his utmost to ignore - he maybe glared more than was necessary - them before quickly following Castiel outside, ‘cause now that Castiel had actually mentioned food, Dean realised just how hungry he was, having finished his popcorn over an hour ago.
When he reached the car, Castiel still had that half smile on his face.
“What?” Dean asked.
“I now understand the difference between familial love and being in love with someone,” he explained
“Awesome,” Dean deadpanned before climbing into the car.
“You do not think that’s a good thing?” Castiel asked once he joined him.
“I think that real life is helluva different to the movies Cas,” Dean explained. “If you ever fall in love with someone, you’ll understand.”
“But I am in love,” Castiel said with a frown.
Dean snorted in amusement, “Yeah right. Okay Cas. If you say so.”
“Why is it so hard for you to believe?” Castiel asked, all hints of a smile gone. “Do you not think me capable of falling in love?”
“That’s not what I said,” Dean told him, hoping that it would be good enough an explanation that Castiel would drop the subject, “you still want to get something to eat?” he asked.
“No,” Castiel replied before the sound of rustling let Dean know that he was on his own.
Awesome. Just what he needed; a pissed off angel.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a couple of weeks later, in another bar in another town when Castiel reappeared.
Sam was at the bar getting another round in, leaving Dean at their table to amuse himself, and so as soon as the angel stepped through the door, Dean saw him. As did every other patron in the place.
Dean smiled to himself as he noted Castiel receiving some curious stares from the regulars but managed to school his face into something a little more serious as the angel approached. He didn’t want Castiel to think he was overly happy to see him or anything.
From the moment Castiel had flew away that day, Dean had realised what a mistake he’d made. He’d been offered the one thing he craved most and had thrown it back in Castiel’s face. Sure, Castiel was wearing a dude, but Hell had opened his eyes up to the possibilities that lay within sexual encounters with members of his own gender, so really that didn’t bother him. And Sam’s knowing look and not so subtle hisses of “call him already” almost every day told him that Sam didn’t care either.
He just didn’t want to appear too eager in case Castiel thought he was only willing to “discuss” the whole love thing for convenience sake. He wanted Castiel, and he wanted him badly.
“Dean,” Castiel said once he was stood next to the table.
“Bobby?” Dean asked, enquiring as to how Castiel found them.
“Yes,” Castiel nodded before sitting himself down next to Dean.
The sat there quietly for a moment, Dean watching as Sam gave them a quick look, his brow furrowed in confusion a little before he turned to look at Castiel. He was staring down at the table top where his hands were busy examining the coasters that were lying redundant beside a group of empty beer bottles. And while he didn’t look any different from normal, Dean noticed that he had an air of sadness about him.
“You okay?” he asked, gently nudging Castiel with his elbow.
“No,” Castiel told him truthfully.
When he wasn’t anymore forthcoming than that, Dean set his bottle down and turned his body to face him, “So what’s up then?”
Castiel sighed, “My Father continues to elude me,” he told him truthfully, “and the man I’m in love with believes he’s so unworthy of affection that he won’t return my feelings.”
Dean quickly looked about to make sure that no one had heard Castiel, he didn’t really need to draw the attention of some close minded hick. Noting that everything seemed to be okay, he leaned toward Castiel to speak to him quietly.
“I’ve been thinking about that, and well… maybe he’s just scared.”
Castiel looked up at him curiously, “Of what?”
Dean let his hand fall under the table and rest it on Castiel’s thigh, “Of opening himself up and getting hurt.”
Castiel frowned, “Dean I would never hurt you. I gave up everything for you.”
Dean gave him a small smile, “I know. But if something were to happen to you…” he trailed off, not knowing how to say to an angel that the thought of losing him was to painful to even bare. And that’s when it hit him, “I’m too in love with you to ever let you go.”
Castiel’s confused face almost automatically turned into a grin, but Dean was distracted away from it by the flickering of lights and the sudden flash of a large shadow springing out of nowhere. He was pretty damn sure that shadow had been Castiel’s wings, but it had all been so quick that he couldn’t be entirely sure.
“Cas did you…”
“Guys,” Sam said as he came back over, interrupting them both and making Dean realise just how close he was sitting next to Castiel.
Blushing, Dean pulled back - but left his hand where it was - and turned to his brother, “Yeah?”
“Nothing, you’re just… drawing attention. Thought maybe you should go back to the motel and, uh, finish your conversation there.”
Dean looked at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, “You gonna get your own room?” he asked Sam.
“Absolutely,” Sam said with a grin.
Dean ignored the grin and nudged Castiel, “Come on,” he said, forcing Castiel out of the booth before him.
Castiel stood without argument, nodding courteously to Sam as they headed out and ignoring everything else but Dean. Dean smiled at him and resisted the urge to just reach out and grab him. While they hadn’t exactly been hiding things from the locals five minutes ago, it wouldn’t be a good idea to start making out in front of them.
Huh, making out with Castiel? Dean hadn’t thought about that. Of course, he’d spent the entire time since Castiel had left him in the parking lot of the movie theatre thinking about Castiel and love and the possibility of having both of them. But he hadn’t thought that much about the mechanics of it, and now that he had, while he was in fact still eager to get to it. He was also shitting his pants.
The walk to the motel was more like a run since the rain was lashing off the ground. The motel wasn’t far, but the rain was falling that hard, that by the time the both of them made it inside the motel room, they were soaked to the bone.
Both of them were laughing when Castiel shut the door behind them, grinning at each other like excited teenagers. Dean shrugged his jacket off and tossed it onto the chair in the corner before grabbing a couple of towels out of the bathroom. He began to dry his own hair as he stepped back into the room, intending to give Castiel his towel, but instead halted before he walked smack bang right into the angel in question.
Castiel had shed his coat and jacket, leaving him in only his soaked through shirt and Dean couldn’t help but notice just how perky Castiel’s nipples were.
“Um, Cas?”
Castiel didn’t say anything, just reached forward and removed both towels from Dean’s hand and dropped them to the floor. Dean watched the towels fall, wondering just what it was that Castiel was doing and why he didn’t feel the need to get dry. But then, before he could really think much more about it, Castiel had a fist full of his shirt and was pulling him into a hard kiss.
Dean grunted in surprise, not having expected to be kissed at all let alone with so much passion and wow! Castiel could kiss.
Reaching up, Dean wrapped a hand around Castiel’s neck to hold him there while the other went around his waist. Castiel apparently liked the contact as he made a small moaning sound and pushed Dean up against the frame of the bathroom door.
Dean wasn’t sure how long they stood their kissing, hands roaming over each other, trying to get access to skin before Castiel pulled back and stared down at him with so much lust and love, that it left Dean pretty breathless.
“We should remove our wet clothes.”
Dean nodded and let Castiel pull him away from the bathroom and over towards the bed, both of them pulling at each other’s clothes as they went. They landed hard on the bed, Dean only wearing his underwear while Castiel above him, at least still had his pants on.
Castiel kissed along Dean’s jaw and down his neck, making Dean groan at the pleasure of it. The more Castiel touched him, the more he kissed him, the more Dean wanted him.
As if reading his thoughts, Castiel quickly stripped them both of the remainder of their clothes until the only thing between them was air and the moisture from the rain outside.
“Dean,” Castiel said quietly as Dean clung to him, “are you okay?”
Dean nodded, “Never better,” he said, stroking a gentle finger along Castiel’s brow and down to his lips.
Castiel watched him closely before letting his eyes fall closed as Dean’s hand worked its way back up and threw his wet hair. Castiel’s own hands were fisted in the bed sheets either side of Dean’s body, but as he trailed a finger down Castiel’s spine, they began to wander, tracing over Dean’s chest and then back up to his shoulder and over his scar.
“You have the most beautiful soul Dean Winchester,” Castiel whispered into his ear. “It deserves love and happiness more than any other.”
Dean felt his breath catch in his throat at Castiel’s words, something warm and fuzzy filling his chest. Add to it the gentle way in which Castiel touched him, kissed him and writhed against him it was almost too much.
“I wish to make love to you,” Castiel told him. “Let me show you how much I love you.”
Dean simply nodded, unable to form coherent words as he spread his legs and allowed Castiel to settle between them. He knew that some preparation would be needed, that they couldn’t get right to it, but then Castiel trailed a hand up his thigh to rest on his stomach and he was filled with a warmth before suddenly, Castiel was in him.
“Cas,” Dean sighed, his body on fire with the love and care Castiel was giving him.
And then Castiel started to move.
Dean had had sex with many people and many things, but not once had any of them ever made him feel like this, filled with so much love that he was sure he’d burst if it didn’t stop soon. But then, he didn’t want it to stop; not the sex, not the way Castiel touched him, or the way he filled him up or the way he kissed him or the way he just looked at him. None of it, not ever.
“Dean,” Castiel said, panting as he began to move faster, “look at me Dean.”
Dean forced his eyes open, unaware that they had been closed, to stare into those deep fathomless pools of blue that spoke more words than Castiel ever could. He wanted to get lost in them, to dive in and never be found again. Castiel leaned down and kissed him softly before pulling back to look down upon him with so much emotion that Dean could feel his chest swelling with something heavy.
“I love you,” Castiel told him.
That was it. Before he could stop himself, Dean was arching up off the bed, his entire body shuddering in pleasure as orgasm swept through him. He was vaguely aware of the room getting brighter, of seeing dark shadows flung against the stark white ceiling and of Castiel’s grip on his shoulder becoming impossibly hard before he passed out.
When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that the room was in complete darkness, the only sound from outside being the insistent battering of rain against the window. The second thing he noticed was the strong arm wrapped around his chest and the warm nose nuzzled against the back of his neck.
“Cas?” Dean asked, knowing the angel would be awake.
“Yes?”
“I love you too,” Dean told him.
He could feel Castiel smile against the bare skin of his neck before a kiss was placed there, “I know you do Dean. I know.”
THE END
Title: Open Your Eyes
Author: ru_salki99
Recipient: heavenlyxbodies
Rating: nc-17
Warnings: none
Spoilers: season 5
Wordcount: 4012
Summary: Dean’s only just realised that he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life on his own. But is it too late for him to find love?
Author notes: I have no idea why I was paired with you, your squicks are what I write, and my squicks are what you requested. I was very confused. However, I did my very best to write something that you would like. I just hope you aren’t too disappointed.
“If you fight love, you’re always the loser.”
Dean wasn’t sure where he’d seen it or even heard it from; maybe during an ad break while watching Dr Sexy or maybe it was on a billboard or the cover of some magazine at a gas station. Wherever he’d seen it, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was that it had stuck with him. Not only did he hate to lose, but it made him realise that he might like to try some of that. Sometime.
If he ever met anyone who he could actually be himself with.
That was the rub really. Now that he knew that he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his days - some would say being in his thirties, it was a bit late for him to come to this realisation, but screw them - he’d also come to realise that he didn’t really have an opportunity to find someone.
Jo had probably been his best bet. She’d been a part of his life for a few years, had known him pretty well and still liked him, not to mention she had been all kinds of hot. But she was gone now, and with it, any chance he might’ve had to make them both happy. She’d deserved better than him anyway.
There really wasn’t anyone else. Hell, even opportunities for one night stands were at an all time low. He guessed that was partly due to the apocalypse and all, but he couldn’t be sure. And as much as he would like to get laid as often as possible, he really didn’t have the time to worry about his dick or lack of ‘love’ in his life due to said aforementioned apocalypse.
However, after spending time in that psych unit, he realised just how pathetic he really was. He’d never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months. Yeah, sure he moved about a lot. But really? Not even in school had he gone out with a girl long enough to go steady. Sam hadn’t had any trouble. He’d always seemed to pick one girl wherever they went and say with her until they moved on. And then he’d had Jess and to some extent Ruby - although that was probably the most fucked up ‘relationship’ that either of them had ever had.
But not Dean. Dean had had no one. And yes, he was well aware of the fact that he was beginning to feel ridiculously sorry for himself, that he had taken to going off on his own - Sam had had enough of his pity party apparently - to get drunk and drown his sorrows. But he didn’t care. It helped numb the loneliness and that’s all that mattered.
It was during one of his ‘if I survive this apocalypse I’m going to grow old and die alone’ moments at the some biker bar not far from their motel that Castiel found him.
“Dean,” he said as he sat down next to him, frowning at the empty shot glasses and beer bottles on the table.
“What you doing here?” Dean asked, downing another shot.
“Sam told me you were here,” Castiel explained. “I came to make sure you didn’t get into any trouble.”
Dean rolled his eyes and picked up his beer, hoping that if he ignored Castiel long enough he’d go away.
“Why are you so miserable Dean?” Castiel asked him.
Dean hesitated before swallowing, shrugging as his answer.
“You have not been yourself for some time,” Castiel told him. “I am worried about you.”
“Well don’t. I’m fine.”
There was a silence between them as Dean drained his beer, Castiel watching him, studying him, before Castiel spoke again, “You feel unloved.”
Dean almost choked on his beer, but thankfully, managed to swallow it all and not spray any onto the table in front of him.
“You are very much loved Dean. Sam loves you. Bobby does too. I love you…”
“You don’t understand Cas,” Dean said as he made to stand up, stumbling a little as he did so.
“Then explain it to me,” Castiel said as he put an arm out to steady Dean as he pulled some money out his wallet to leave on the table.
Dean huffed and pulled away from Castiel and began to head towards the exit, not caring whether Castiel followed or not. But Castiel didn’t follow, instead he just mojo’d himself outside and landed right in front of Dean, preventing him from moving any further.
“Cas. You’re in my way,” Dean said.
“Explain to me why our love for you is not enough?” Castiel persisted.
“Damn it Cas! Because you’re not ‘in love’ with me. It’s completely different, okay?”
Castiel frowned and Dean could just see the wheels turning in his head, “You wish for romantic companionship?”
Dean sighed, “Yeah okay. Yeah I do. Now, will you please just leave me alone so that I can drag my ass back to my room before I pass out.”
Castiel nodded shortly before stepping to the side and out of Dean’s way. Dean didn’t look over his shoulder to see if Castiel was still there as he walked across the street to the motel. But he could feel the angel’s weighty stare on him anyway and hoped that at least, with him half explaining himself, that Castiel wouldn’t bring it up again.
He was however, very wrong.
~*~*~*~*~*~
They were at Bobby’s deciding to lay low there for a while and help him with whatever research he had going on. They were not checking up on him. Or at least, that’s what they told him, truth was, it put both of their minds’ at ease to actually see him with their own eyes and know that he was still in one piece.
However, research? Not so much Dean’s thing and he soon found himself to be pretty bored. So when Castiel showed up, he was a little relieved. While Castiel was still annoyed at the little success on the search for his father, he seemed to be more accommodating to Dean and his restlessness, letting him teach him how to play cards or show him just why Dr Sexy was so damn awesome.
But two days after Castiel’s arrival, just as they were finishing the pie that Castiel had made (using Karen’s recipe with the reasoning that he had to learn how to cook sometime) Castiel turned to Dean.
“I’d like to go so see a movie.”
Dean paused, his last forkful halfway to his mouth, “Um… why?”
“Because I have never been and I’ve heard lots of humans talking about going to the movies,” Castiel explained.
Dean finished chewing his pie before nodding, “Okay,” he said as he stood up and headed into the other room to grab his jacket. As he headed back towards the kitchen, he shouted down the hall towards where he knew Sam and Bobby were that he and Castiel were heading out for a while.
“Okay,” Sam shouted back.
That done, Dean led the way out to the car, Castiel close behind him.
The ride to the movie theatre was pretty quiet, with Castiel staring out the window, Dean glancing over at him every now and again, wondering why it was now, out of all the time they’d known each other, that Castiel wanted to go to the movies. But then, trying to figure out just how the mind of an angel worked was worse probably more difficult than the world’s hardest sudoku puzzle. Or at least, he assumed it would be, if he ever did sudoku puzzles. Which he didn’t ‘cause they were for dorks, like Sam.
The theatre was pretty quiet, what with it being during the day on a Thursday, but Dean wasn’t going to complain as it meant that they could get the best seats and not have to worry about pain in the ass kids. But of course, the only movie showing that afternoon was a total chick flick and while Dean was so, so reluctant to actually pay to watch such crap, he didn’t want to disappoint Castiel. And that is how he found himself sitting in an almost empty movie theatre with an angel, watching The “Goddamned Fucking” Proposal.
It was actually kind of painful. But, every time he looked at Castiel out of the corner of his eye it was to see him completely enthralled, his face going from a deep frown of concentration to a soft smile and back again. It was weird. But, if he was enjoying it - which he apparently was since he wasn’t complaining or making any kind of queries as to all the giant plot holes - then Dean wasn’t going to complain.
When the movie finally finished, Dean let out a huge sigh of relief and stood to leave, but Castiel seemed determined to watch the credits ‘til the end, so reluctantly he sat back down.
The house lights soon came on, showing that they were the only two remaining while some spotty kid came in with a garbage bag and a broom. He took one look at Dean and Castiel and headed towards them.
“Dude, movie’s over,” he said, “you and your boyfriend gotta go now.”
Dean was too busy scraping his jaw off the floor to react much to that, however, it seemed Castiel had heard the kid as he stood up, his coat draped over one arm as he yanked Dean up with his free hand.
“We were just leaving,” he told the little punk, practically dragging Dean out before he got his wits about him and started swinging.
“Cas will you let go of me?” Dean asked, pulling his arm out of Castiel’s grasp once they reached the foyer.
Castiel merely raised an eyebrow at him, his mouth quirking into a half smile before he continued towards the exit. Dean frowned again, fixed his jacket and followed after him, ignoring the ‘knowing’ looks he was getting from the staff at the confectionary stand.
How the Hell could they think that not only was he gay, but that Castiel was his boyfriend? Okay, sure they went together to see a romantic comedy, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Friends went to the movies together all the time. And it wasn’t like there was another movie they could’ve picked.
“Dean?” Castiel called as he popped his head back in the door, “I would like to get some food. Please hurry up,” he said before he disappeared back outside.
There was some definite sniggering from the kids that were supposed to be working and some muttering of ‘whipped’ but he did his utmost to ignore - he maybe glared more than was necessary - them before quickly following Castiel outside, ‘cause now that Castiel had actually mentioned food, Dean realised just how hungry he was, having finished his popcorn over an hour ago.
When he reached the car, Castiel still had that half smile on his face.
“What?” Dean asked.
“I now understand the difference between familial love and being in love with someone,” he explained
“Awesome,” Dean deadpanned before climbing into the car.
“You do not think that’s a good thing?” Castiel asked once he joined him.
“I think that real life is helluva different to the movies Cas,” Dean explained. “If you ever fall in love with someone, you’ll understand.”
“But I am in love,” Castiel said with a frown.
Dean snorted in amusement, “Yeah right. Okay Cas. If you say so.”
“Why is it so hard for you to believe?” Castiel asked, all hints of a smile gone. “Do you not think me capable of falling in love?”
“That’s not what I said,” Dean told him, hoping that it would be good enough an explanation that Castiel would drop the subject, “you still want to get something to eat?” he asked.
“No,” Castiel replied before the sound of rustling let Dean know that he was on his own.
Awesome. Just what he needed; a pissed off angel.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a couple of weeks later, in another bar in another town when Castiel reappeared.
Sam was at the bar getting another round in, leaving Dean at their table to amuse himself, and so as soon as the angel stepped through the door, Dean saw him. As did every other patron in the place.
Dean smiled to himself as he noted Castiel receiving some curious stares from the regulars but managed to school his face into something a little more serious as the angel approached. He didn’t want Castiel to think he was overly happy to see him or anything.
From the moment Castiel had flew away that day, Dean had realised what a mistake he’d made. He’d been offered the one thing he craved most and had thrown it back in Castiel’s face. Sure, Castiel was wearing a dude, but Hell had opened his eyes up to the possibilities that lay within sexual encounters with members of his own gender, so really that didn’t bother him. And Sam’s knowing look and not so subtle hisses of “call him already” almost every day told him that Sam didn’t care either.
He just didn’t want to appear too eager in case Castiel thought he was only willing to “discuss” the whole love thing for convenience sake. He wanted Castiel, and he wanted him badly.
“Dean,” Castiel said once he was stood next to the table.
“Bobby?” Dean asked, enquiring as to how Castiel found them.
“Yes,” Castiel nodded before sitting himself down next to Dean.
The sat there quietly for a moment, Dean watching as Sam gave them a quick look, his brow furrowed in confusion a little before he turned to look at Castiel. He was staring down at the table top where his hands were busy examining the coasters that were lying redundant beside a group of empty beer bottles. And while he didn’t look any different from normal, Dean noticed that he had an air of sadness about him.
“You okay?” he asked, gently nudging Castiel with his elbow.
“No,” Castiel told him truthfully.
When he wasn’t anymore forthcoming than that, Dean set his bottle down and turned his body to face him, “So what’s up then?”
Castiel sighed, “My Father continues to elude me,” he told him truthfully, “and the man I’m in love with believes he’s so unworthy of affection that he won’t return my feelings.”
Dean quickly looked about to make sure that no one had heard Castiel, he didn’t really need to draw the attention of some close minded hick. Noting that everything seemed to be okay, he leaned toward Castiel to speak to him quietly.
“I’ve been thinking about that, and well… maybe he’s just scared.”
Castiel looked up at him curiously, “Of what?”
Dean let his hand fall under the table and rest it on Castiel’s thigh, “Of opening himself up and getting hurt.”
Castiel frowned, “Dean I would never hurt you. I gave up everything for you.”
Dean gave him a small smile, “I know. But if something were to happen to you…” he trailed off, not knowing how to say to an angel that the thought of losing him was to painful to even bare. And that’s when it hit him, “I’m too in love with you to ever let you go.”
Castiel’s confused face almost automatically turned into a grin, but Dean was distracted away from it by the flickering of lights and the sudden flash of a large shadow springing out of nowhere. He was pretty damn sure that shadow had been Castiel’s wings, but it had all been so quick that he couldn’t be entirely sure.
“Cas did you…”
“Guys,” Sam said as he came back over, interrupting them both and making Dean realise just how close he was sitting next to Castiel.
Blushing, Dean pulled back - but left his hand where it was - and turned to his brother, “Yeah?”
“Nothing, you’re just… drawing attention. Thought maybe you should go back to the motel and, uh, finish your conversation there.”
Dean looked at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, “You gonna get your own room?” he asked Sam.
“Absolutely,” Sam said with a grin.
Dean ignored the grin and nudged Castiel, “Come on,” he said, forcing Castiel out of the booth before him.
Castiel stood without argument, nodding courteously to Sam as they headed out and ignoring everything else but Dean. Dean smiled at him and resisted the urge to just reach out and grab him. While they hadn’t exactly been hiding things from the locals five minutes ago, it wouldn’t be a good idea to start making out in front of them.
Huh, making out with Castiel? Dean hadn’t thought about that. Of course, he’d spent the entire time since Castiel had left him in the parking lot of the movie theatre thinking about Castiel and love and the possibility of having both of them. But he hadn’t thought that much about the mechanics of it, and now that he had, while he was in fact still eager to get to it. He was also shitting his pants.
The walk to the motel was more like a run since the rain was lashing off the ground. The motel wasn’t far, but the rain was falling that hard, that by the time the both of them made it inside the motel room, they were soaked to the bone.
Both of them were laughing when Castiel shut the door behind them, grinning at each other like excited teenagers. Dean shrugged his jacket off and tossed it onto the chair in the corner before grabbing a couple of towels out of the bathroom. He began to dry his own hair as he stepped back into the room, intending to give Castiel his towel, but instead halted before he walked smack bang right into the angel in question.
Castiel had shed his coat and jacket, leaving him in only his soaked through shirt and Dean couldn’t help but notice just how perky Castiel’s nipples were.
“Um, Cas?”
Castiel didn’t say anything, just reached forward and removed both towels from Dean’s hand and dropped them to the floor. Dean watched the towels fall, wondering just what it was that Castiel was doing and why he didn’t feel the need to get dry. But then, before he could really think much more about it, Castiel had a fist full of his shirt and was pulling him into a hard kiss.
Dean grunted in surprise, not having expected to be kissed at all let alone with so much passion and wow! Castiel could kiss.
Reaching up, Dean wrapped a hand around Castiel’s neck to hold him there while the other went around his waist. Castiel apparently liked the contact as he made a small moaning sound and pushed Dean up against the frame of the bathroom door.
Dean wasn’t sure how long they stood their kissing, hands roaming over each other, trying to get access to skin before Castiel pulled back and stared down at him with so much lust and love, that it left Dean pretty breathless.
“We should remove our wet clothes.”
Dean nodded and let Castiel pull him away from the bathroom and over towards the bed, both of them pulling at each other’s clothes as they went. They landed hard on the bed, Dean only wearing his underwear while Castiel above him, at least still had his pants on.
Castiel kissed along Dean’s jaw and down his neck, making Dean groan at the pleasure of it. The more Castiel touched him, the more he kissed him, the more Dean wanted him.
As if reading his thoughts, Castiel quickly stripped them both of the remainder of their clothes until the only thing between them was air and the moisture from the rain outside.
“Dean,” Castiel said quietly as Dean clung to him, “are you okay?”
Dean nodded, “Never better,” he said, stroking a gentle finger along Castiel’s brow and down to his lips.
Castiel watched him closely before letting his eyes fall closed as Dean’s hand worked its way back up and threw his wet hair. Castiel’s own hands were fisted in the bed sheets either side of Dean’s body, but as he trailed a finger down Castiel’s spine, they began to wander, tracing over Dean’s chest and then back up to his shoulder and over his scar.
“You have the most beautiful soul Dean Winchester,” Castiel whispered into his ear. “It deserves love and happiness more than any other.”
Dean felt his breath catch in his throat at Castiel’s words, something warm and fuzzy filling his chest. Add to it the gentle way in which Castiel touched him, kissed him and writhed against him it was almost too much.
“I wish to make love to you,” Castiel told him. “Let me show you how much I love you.”
Dean simply nodded, unable to form coherent words as he spread his legs and allowed Castiel to settle between them. He knew that some preparation would be needed, that they couldn’t get right to it, but then Castiel trailed a hand up his thigh to rest on his stomach and he was filled with a warmth before suddenly, Castiel was in him.
“Cas,” Dean sighed, his body on fire with the love and care Castiel was giving him.
And then Castiel started to move.
Dean had had sex with many people and many things, but not once had any of them ever made him feel like this, filled with so much love that he was sure he’d burst if it didn’t stop soon. But then, he didn’t want it to stop; not the sex, not the way Castiel touched him, or the way he filled him up or the way he kissed him or the way he just looked at him. None of it, not ever.
“Dean,” Castiel said, panting as he began to move faster, “look at me Dean.”
Dean forced his eyes open, unaware that they had been closed, to stare into those deep fathomless pools of blue that spoke more words than Castiel ever could. He wanted to get lost in them, to dive in and never be found again. Castiel leaned down and kissed him softly before pulling back to look down upon him with so much emotion that Dean could feel his chest swelling with something heavy.
“I love you,” Castiel told him.
That was it. Before he could stop himself, Dean was arching up off the bed, his entire body shuddering in pleasure as orgasm swept through him. He was vaguely aware of the room getting brighter, of seeing dark shadows flung against the stark white ceiling and of Castiel’s grip on his shoulder becoming impossibly hard before he passed out.
When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that the room was in complete darkness, the only sound from outside being the insistent battering of rain against the window. The second thing he noticed was the strong arm wrapped around his chest and the warm nose nuzzled against the back of his neck.
“Cas?” Dean asked, knowing the angel would be awake.
“Yes?”
“I love you too,” Dean told him.
He could feel Castiel smile against the bare skin of his neck before a kiss was placed there, “I know you do Dean. I know.”
THE END