[FIC] Sparks fly for shion_kun

Dec 15, 2010 04:56

Gift type: Fanfic
Title: Sparks Fly
Author: mitsuki_shizuka
Recipient: shion_kun
Rating: PG
Warnings: A little bit of physical violence.
Spoilers: Specifically 6.03 The Third Man but also spoilers up until 6.07 Family Matters
Wordcount: 3475
Summary: Despite the fact that he’s been living with Lisa and Ben for over a year, Dean has never felt so lonely in his life. The moment Castiel comes back, a series of events brings Dean some answers.
Author notes: Dear shion_kun I tried using your first prompt, I realize there might not be enough angst!Dean and I really hope you appreciate this fic anyway, the story kind of got out of my control. Happy holidays!



The moment Cas leaves him alone in the car everything tumbles down on him like a sack of bricks. With Sam in hell and Cas back in heaven, Dean is truly alone, stuck in the middle-on Earth. In retrospect, this should have been his first clue: Cas leaving.

At first, the pain is quite clear to him, more powerful and worse than what grief feels like. He misses Sam. He misses his brother more than he can bear and there is nothing he can possibly do. He searches for weeks, stays up late seeking something he knows deep down doesn’t exist.

He pretty much goes through the motions from this point on: going to Lisa’s, moving in, becoming her lover, becoming Ben’s surrogate father. His body’s there but his mind mostly isn’t. He keeps as good a façade as he can come up with, perfects it as the days, weeks, and months fly by and occupies his mind as best as he can with work.

Nevertheless, the feeling remains, gnawing at his heart relentlessly; little by little, leaving him emptier as days pass by. He can’t identify the pain as clearly as before now, it’s just plain solitude thrown in a mess of confusing void. Lisa’s body is warm and soft under his hands but he feels nothing for her and his heart is still heavy with sorrow every time he sleeps with her. He cries silently at night, muffling the rare sobs every now and then in his pillow, soaking his tears away in the soft fabric.

And then sometimes, he finds himself praying quietly in his head, to no one in particular. He just prays for the pain to stop. He calls Bobby sometimes, seeking comfort from the only person he considers family now and even if only for a brief moment he feels lighter, he decides it’s better than nothing.

It comes to him as a shock when he finally understands why he’s been silently eaten away by an indefinable misery. It slaps him in the face, the way Cas comes in like a rainstorm and Dean feels like a house of cards tumbling down under the sheer power of the angel. His heart hammers louder and louder as he meets Cas’s gaze, realizing just how much he had missed him. He almost doesn’t hear Sam who breaks him out of his reverie.

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

“Hello.”

“Hello?” Sam sounds incredulous.

“Yes.”

“Hello,” Sam attempts to imitate the angel, and quite poorly at that, Dean thinks. “Hello?!”

“Uh, that is still the term?” Cas asks while directly looking at Dean, seeking his opinion and that makes Dean almost want to hug him. The pain, the emptiness is fading away and it feels like an epiphany. It was Cas. It has been Cas all along and for some unknown reason, his long, very long absence has been the cause of Dean’s pain.

"I spent all that time trying to get through to you,” Sam starts bitching, because that’s what he does and quite frankly, Dean can’t blame him. He kind of resents Cas too. Kind of. It’s hard to be mad at the angel when he’s the source of such a relief, it almost feels like ecstasy, like Dean can finally breathe at full capacity now when the past months has been nothing but straining on him. "Dean calls once and now it's 'Hello' ?"

"Yes."

"So, what, you...you like him better or something?" Sam asks and Cas scoffs at him. Dean can't remember him ever doing that before.

"Dean and I do share a more profound bond," Cas replies matter-of-factly and Dean remembers that somewhere in his mind there has to be a 'what the fuck' signal ringing but he can't seem to care about it. To add more to it, Cas turns to him and says, "I wasn't going to mention it."

"Cas, I think what he's trying to say is that," Dean stops him before he can reveal anything else, and thank God for that because if anything, he hates feeling embarrassed. "He went to hell for us. I mean, he really took one for the team, you remember that? And then he comes back without a clue, and you can't take five frigging minutes to give him some answers?"

"If I had any answers, I might have responded," Cas shoots back, "But I don't know, Sam. We have no idea who brought you back from the cage...or why."

"So...It wasn't God?" Sam asks, rising up to his full height.

"No one's even seen God," Cas says, not the least intimidated by Sam's superior height. "The whole thing remains mysterious."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What part of 'I don't know' escapes your understanding?" Cas says more aggressively, and Dean thinks it's time for him to put a stop to this before it goes down with a fight.

"Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer," Dean says with a calm tone in an attempt to appease the situation. "Okay? You wing your ass down here, and you tell him 'I don't know.' Just because we have some sort of uh…bond or whatever…"

“You think I came because you called?” Cas responds, taking Dean aback. “I came because of this.”

Cas points to all the information they’ve gathered so far and just like that they’re back to the case. Dean just lets it be, he’s too relieved to be around Cas to care. Dean is peaceful, in a way he hasn’t been in a long time, not even since he got Sam back.

Cas stands there in front of him, just close enough to touch, close enough for Dean to hope the angel can’t see what he’s thinking of. He finally understands why it’s never felt quite right, being with Lisa and Ben. This, here, is his real family. Sam and Cas. Hunting together. Except that Cas isn’t kidding around, acting like a heartless soldier when Dean knows he is nothing but. As it turns out, angels are fighting for power over Heaven, Cas is hurting and Dean can’t do anything about it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Brother, please. I don’t want to hurt you,” Castiel says before throwing the silver knife right in his brother’s heart, watching the light coming out of the vessel. This has been the 47th angel Castiel has killed and his grace bleeds a little bit more with every victim that falls from his blade. He can’t stop counting them, won’t stop counting them until this all stops. “Why won’t any of you listen?”

“They don’t listen, Castiel, because their hearts are mine,” Raphael takes him by surprise and grabs him suddenly and throws him against the double doors behind him. “And yours, brother, is tainted by this sorry excuse for a human.”

“What?” Castiel barely has time to get up that Raphael is pinning him on the wall, stepping closer to him with that snarky look on his face.

“You don’t even know, do you?” Raphael says smugly and punches him. “Dean Winchester has marked your grace. Quite frankly, I don’t blame you for not seeing it. It is, after all, only the second time this has ever happened.”

“What are you talking about?” Castiel asks, glaring at his older brother.

“He’s talking about me.”

Castiel looks over Raphael’s shoulder and meets with surprise hazel and playful eyes staring back at him.

“Ah, Gabriel,” Raphael says and turns around, his smile turning crisped. “And here I thought we were finally rid of you.”

“Where would be the fun in that, mhh?” Gabriel says and releases Castiel from the wall, appearing right next to him in a thousandth of a second, everything is going too fast for Castiel’s liking, what with the lack of time to process his brother’s return from death.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Raphael threatens as the weather outside agitates wildly.

“You know better than defying me, bro,” Gabriel says before grabbing Castiel’s forearm and zapping them out of the house. But obviously, things are not that easy, as Raphael is right on their heels, literally following them closely as Gabriel flies with Castiel.

“Boy, you really pissed him, didn’t you?” Gabriel remarks with a chuckle.

“It appears so,” Castiel retorts with a sigh.

“We have a lot to talk about,” Gabriel says before taking a leap down, Castiel follows suit. They land near the Winchesters’ beloved car, where the brothers are.

“Gabriel?!”

“Why did you bring us here, Gabriel?” Castiel asks just when Raphael appears before them.

“He can’t do anything to you as long as little Dean-o here is near you,” Gabriel replies, flicking his eyes over to the eldest Winchester who looks disconcerted.

“What’s going on-”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t hurt him,” Raphael cuts Dean off and appears behind him, holding a dagger to his throat, causing Castiel’s grace to boil with anger. Before Castiel can do anything, Raphael and Dean are gone and he can’t even sense them anywhere.

“Dean!” Sam shouts and directly turns on them. “What the hell is going on?”

“You know Raphael, right?” Gabriel asks.

“Not really, I don’t,” Sam replies, looking at him funnily. “How are you even alive?”

“Meh, guess Daddy did like me after all,” Gabriel responds and turns to Castiel. “Raphael is pissed at Cas and wants him dead but can’t do that as long as Dean lives so we should go looking for him.”

“I don’t understand how Dean-” Castiel starts saying as an excruciating pain seizes him, his whole grace being torn apart and outright tortured in a cruel way Castiel only remembers as Raphael’s. The ache causes him to drop down to his knees on the ground, leaning against the impala.

“We’ll have time for that later, brother, rest here, I’ll go take care of it,” Gabriel says with a comforting tone Castiel has missed and his grace is a reassuring and powerful presence Castiel is grateful for. His older brother then turns to Sam. “You, watch out for my brother while I go get yours.”

Sam nods and watches Gabriel disappear into thin air, before dropping down next to a suffering Castiel, wondering just what is going on. Castiel’s pain is apparent and Sam just looks at him indifferently, wishing he could just feel something. Sympathy. They're still in the parking lot, and Sam decides to take the angel in, carrying Castiel should be no problem in theory but the angel is struggling and hurting so it takes a good dozen minutes to walk them to their motel room.

He sets Castiel on one of the beds, and just...waits. Watches the angel agitating on the bed, suffering like a martyr, and can't even muster an ounce of worry for his brother.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Dean Winchester, you foolish human,” Raphael says as Dean regains consciousness. Taking in his surroundings, Dean realizes he's in a nice hotel room, pinned on the wall by nothing but thin air.

“You just had to fall in love with angel, didn't you?” Raphael's laugh is dark and disgusting.

“Don't know what you're talking about chuckles,” Dean retorts with a scoff. That earns him a kick in the groin, quick and efficient, knocking the wind out of him.

“Don't think I haven't forgotten the last time we met,” Raphael sounds pissed-but then, when has he sounded otherwise? “When I'm done with you, Castiel won't come back from the dead ever again and this ridiculous rebellion of his will cease.”

Dean can't even catch his breath when Raphael sticks his hand through his body, and the sting is immediate, seizing every fiber of his body and yet the pain doesn't feel like a physical one.

“My, you are quite enticed with my little brother, aren't you?” Raphael's remark is almost lost on him. Dean can't even think clearly, much less speak. “I didn't think it would be that...complicated to severe the bond.”

“Well, at least I can sense his distress,” Raphael adds with a chuckle. “That'll teach him a lesson.”

Dean can't remember suffering that much since hell. And he can't even pass out, Raphael won't let him. The worst part is that Dean can feel Cas suffer through this with him. He doesn't understand why or how that's possible, but it is happening and it feels like it goes on and on for hours.

“You just won't give up, will you?” Raphael grunts out as he pulls out his hand, clearly exhausted and Dean coughs, relieved that the pain has stopped.

“I see you've made some progress at cloaking, brother, it was a pain in the ass to find you.”

Dean has never been so glad to see Gabriel in his life and takes it as a good sign when he’s finally released from the wall and falls to the floor, clenching his chest with his hand as he watches the two archangels fight. He can still feel Cas's pain, and it brings tears to his eyes to think the angel was hurt because of him. It's embarrassing how emotionally vulnerable and completely open he is right now. Raphael sure has messed him up good, playing around with his soul.

Eventually, the fighting stops, and Dean guesses Gabriel won since he finds himself angel-zapped back to what looks like their motel room. Gabriel dumps him on a bed, next to an unconscious Cas. Dean is panting as he levels up to Cas’s face, lying next to him and taking in the angel’s state. Everything feels fuzzy and all Dean can really focus on is Cas, all he can feel at the moment is Cas. He barely hears Sam talking with Gabriel as he runs his fingers through Cas’s hair and watches the lights in the room go wild for a moment before settling back to normal.

“What was that?” Dean turns to look at Gabriel who doesn’t get to answer as Cas shifts on the bed and slowly opens his eyes. When their gazes meet, Dean realizes all he wants for the rest of his life is for Cas to keep on keeping his eyes on him.

“You all right, Cas?” Dean asks with concern.

“What happened?” Castiel gets up too quickly and nearly falls but Dean catches up him just in time.

“Take it easy guys,” Gabriel makes them lie back down and takes a sit on the other. “You’ve just completed your bond and Raphael has tweaked around with it so it’s unstable right now, and you are in no shape to do anything so just rest.”

“You mind explaining what the hell you are talking about? What’s the deal with this ‘bond’?” Dean asks grumpily as he sits back up on the mattress, leaning against the headboard. He feels lightheaded and can’t help but gather an exhausted Cas in his arms. He can’t stop touching the angel who has seemingly fallen back asleep but looking better, rubbing circles on his back and holding him close as he smells his hair.

“It’s a little bit difficult to explain this,” Gabriel starts saying and pops a chocolate in his mouth. “But to put it simply, you guys are kind of married.”

Dean’s eyes go wide and Gabriel feels he has to explain further: “You marked Castiel’s grace the moment he pulled you out of hell, it was inevitable.”

“What does that even mean, I marked his grace?” Dean is confused and starting to feel panic overwhelming him.

“It wasn’t much to begin with,” Gabriel continues. “To pull you out of hell and heal your soul, Castiel’s grace has come into close contact to it and he couldn’t have gotten out of that intact.

“It was barely there when I last saw Castiel, but it seems that since then, you have put your foot down and marked his grace for good.”

“Meaning what?” Dean asks.

“He’s saying you fell in love with Cas, Dean,” Sam answers.

“Oh,” Dean stares down at the angel in his arms and his lips quirks upward as he takes in the peaceful face lying on his chest. He finally understands.

“That’s it? ‘Oh’? Thought you’d be freaking out big time,” Sam raises an eyebrow at him, smiling smugly.

“Shut up,” Dean snaps at his brother half heartedly and tightens his grip possessively.

“Anyways, when a human falls in love with an angel, which is rare because we’re not supposed to interact with you in any way, he or she marks said angel’s grace, they’re intrinsically linked,” Gabriel continues as he keeps on stuffing his mouth with all kinds of sweets. “Little Castiel here is basically immortal as long as your soul is intact, and whatever might happen to you will happen to him.”

“Isn’t that kind of a burden?” Dean wonders.

“He can feel thanks to you,” Gabriel replies, looking fondly at him. “You would be surprised how that changes an angel.”

Gabriel gets up and taps Sam on the shoulder. “We’ll let you two have some privacy,” he says and just like that they’re gone, leaving Dean alone with Cas.

“Guess it’s just you and me, buddy,” Dean mutters and lies back down fully on the bed, keeping Cas close to him. He never would’ve thought he’d be here lying with an angel in his arms, much less falling in love with one who’s using a male vessel. And then he remembers Lisa. And Ben. How he has a responsibility to them, how he’s supposed to be with Lisa. But Dean can’t bring himself to care, because for the first time in a long time, he’s actually happy and the feeling is so strange and unknown to him that he decides to just revel in it and enjoy it for as long as he can, he’ll deal with Lisa later.

“Dean?” Castiel says roughly, shaking him out of his thoughts and turns on his side to face him.

“Hey, go back to sleep, you need to rest,” Dean says soothingly and brings up his hand to stroke Cas’s cheek.

“I’m an angel, I do not require sleep,” Cas moves to get up but Dean stops him.

“Just lay here with me, then?” Dean asks him. “Oh and please tell me Gabe’s not doing anything too weird to my brother?”

“Your brother is fine,” Cas sighs and relaxes in the bed, something Dean has never seen him do. It’s weird, in a good way and Dean thinks he can get used to it.

“Is that true?” Dean says more than he asks, encircling his arms around Cas’s waist. “Are we married?”

“I guess you can say that,” Cas replies and Dean does the only thing he can think of: he kisses him, and as far as first kisses go, this one has got to be the best one Dean’s ever had.

“I love you,” Cas says suddenly, surprise written on his face as they pull away. “I…I love you,” he chuckles and Dean has never heard such a beautiful sound before.

“Me too,” Dean smiles only to be kissed by Cas again.

“No Dean, you don’t realize,” Cas says contentedly, “I can actually feel my love for you.”

“Okay,” Dean chuckles and rolls on his back, taking Cas with him. “Let’s go to sleep, okay? Can’t wait to teach you the joys of human physical love next.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Cas replies and lays his head on Dean’s chest, snaking an arm around his waist. “In return, I could teach you some Enochian spells, they are much more powerful than Latin ones.”

“Okay, you freak,” Dean teases fondly and kills the light, allowing himself to fall into a peaceful sleep.

#xmas 2010, length:3k-5k, rating: pg, gift type: fic

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