[FIC] The Winchester Family Christmas Plan for lilyleia78
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: The Winchester Family Christmas Plan
Author: beef_wonder3
Recipient: lilyleia78
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: S5 AU, Scmoop and Christmas Carols
Spoilers: 5.10 Abandon All Hope, slightly AU
Wordcount: 4488
Summary: Dean plans the perfect family Christmas. No seriously, it’s going to be awesome.
Author notes: Merry Christmas! Here’s plenty of schmoop for you. Seriously, layers and layers of schmoop. Hope you enjoy it!
Kathleen Archer loved to know things. Okay, so she loved to know everything. This was probably why she was Ohio States very own Gossip Girl. And if Kathleen didn’t actually have all the facts to a story, well, that wasn’t going to stop her from telling it, something that was just a little problem that only arose when she was actually telling the facts straight.
“Bullshit.” Kathleen’s friend, Amanda, called.
“It is not!” Kathleen protested, “100% honest to God’s truth.”
“No way,” Laura, another friend, interjected, “Guys as hot as that don’t storm into bars and profess their love to other hot guys.”
“This one did!” Kathleen insisted to her friends. “That totally hot Fed just stormed in, went off at this guy about love and family and Christmas and then dragged the guy in and kissed him!”
“Kissed him?” her friends said in doubtful unison.
“Totally! And then he just turned around and walked right out.” Kathleen sighed a little wistfully, “It was the most romantic thing I've ever seen.”
Despite her friends doubt in her story, Kathleen’s account was entirely true. Not that she knew, or ever would know, the events that lead up to Dean Winchester kissing an Angel of the Lord in the middle of a college bar. Perhaps it was a Christmas miracle...
3 days earlier
“Did Justin seem moody or depressed the last time you saw him?” Sam asked the group of girls they were interviewing.
“Not at all!” replied Kathleen, “He was totally psyched about going home for the holidays.” The girl beside her let out a quiet sob, so Dean decided to wrap it up, thanking the group for their time.
“Well, that was a whole lot of nothing.” Dean said once in the car.
Sam shrugged in the passenger seat, “It’s the 3rd suicide of this week. There’s gotta be something more to it. Happy kids just don’t off themselves for no reason.”
Dean inclined his head in agreement, directing the car into the icy driveway of their motel. Walking into their room, the Winchesters were greeted with an overabundance of Christmas cheer emanating from the television Castiel was watching. Well, less watching and more staring at like it would tell him the secrets of the universe.
Sam cringed and began to divest his suit jacket of his belongings. Dean, on the other hand, walked over to Castiel, where he sitting on the end of one of the beds (his and Dean’s to be precise) and covered the back of Cas’ neck with his hand, a small sign of the affection Dean still wasn’t used to.
“Any reason why you’re subjecting yourself to ’Carols by Tweens’?” Dean asked. Castiel tore his eyes away from the energetic Disney stars to look up at Dean,
“I am ‘getting into the spirit of the holiday’.” Castiel stated, as if he was repeating something he’d heard.
“O-ok” Dean replied, after a pause he asked, “I thought Angel’s would already be big on celebrating Jesus’ birthday?”
“We are.” Castiel informed Dean, turning back to the TV, “We celebrate the Messiah’s birthday, on the actual memoriam of his birth.” Dean considered this for a moment,
“That’s in Spring, right?” He asked eventually, looking at Sam for confirmation.
“That is correct.” Cas said while Sam nodded absently. “But,” Castiel continued, shifting slightly to arch into Dean’s hand where he was slowly circling his thumb on Cas’ neck. “I have found the Human celebrations to have developed quite positively from what was once Pagan rituals.” He looked up again before elaborating, “It appears the modern day feeling of Christmas, especially in America, is infused with generosity and embracing ones family.” Castiel averted his eyes then, seeming to slump slightly as he went back to watching.
Dean frowned at Castiel’s sudden disheartened changed. And then for the first time in a while, Dean remembered that Cas had a family once too. A family that now wants him dead, had cast him out into the cold because he stood against their plan. Dean felt a fresh wave of hatred for dickish Angels and all that important agenda they have shoved up their ass. Dean moved to sit on the bed next to Cas, trying to be subtle, hoping the press of their sides together would feel like a comfort to Cas.
The worst thing was, a painful ache settling in his chest, is that Dean knew what Cas was feeling. There was a Christmas or two while Sam was at Stanford, where Dad was off on a hunt and Dean was so sick of ‘Holiday Cheer and Family Fun’ being shoved in his face that he practically hid from the world in whatever dive he could find. Pretended as hard as he could that the one thing he wanted most in the world wasn’t just one more Family Christmas.
Curling an arm around Cas’ waist, Dean was heartened when Cas leaned into him, just slightly, inspiration striking Dean, clear and sure.
“We should do Christmas this year.” He announced to the room, making both Castiel and Sam turn to look at him. Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean over the coroner’s report he was reading,
“Christmas? Dean, there’s a little something you might be forgetting, like, maybe, the Apocalypse.” Sam said.
“Well, since it’s the Apocalypse, shouldn’t we have Christmas anyway? Enjoy ourselves before the world goes to shit?” Dean reasoned. Castiel said nothing.
Sam hesitated, clearly reading the imploring look Dean was giving him. “C’mon Sammy,” Dean cajoled gently, “Christmas is a time for Family.”
Sam looked at Dean considering, for a moment before relenting,
“Sure. We’ll give Bobby a call. See if he’s up for it.
Dean smiled winningly, feeling victorious before turning his grin on Cas, who was looking between Dean and Sam, thoughtful expression on his face before turning his attention back, once again, to the garish colours on the screen. Dean’s grin dimmed a little; he’d been hoping the thought of celebrating Christmas would cheer Cas up. Perhaps he hadn’t quite grasped the Christmas spirit yet. Well, Dean would see to that. By the time he was done, Cas would be giving Christmas spirit supernaturally livened teddy bear-sized hugs. He was sure of it.
*
Dean made sure to get up a little earlier than usual to get a head start on The Winchester Family Christmas Plan. Ok, so the title needed work but after all the shit they'd been through and all the shit they knew was coming, Dean wanted just one day they could put it aside. Christ, it almost felt like he was turning into a chick. Or worse; into Sam. Dean shoved his emotional analysis to the side and got up and dressed and out the door stealthily enough not to wake either Sam or castle. Oh yeah. He was a total ninja.
Phase One of the plan in Dean’s mind was food. It had been a long time, a very long time, since Dean had cooked a full roast dinner but he was sure he and Bobby could figure it out. Dean loitered through the supermarket, not buying but tapping a list of things they'd need into his phone.
Ham
Potatoes
Green beans
Gravy
Pudding? Or Pie?
And so on and so forth. Although, ‘Pudding? or Pie?’ was all in capital letters.
Deans next stop was the bakery to choose between gingerbread men and Christmas cookies shaped like trees and stars. Dean’s train of thought was momentarily derailed at the sight of cupcakes decorated with green icing and what looked like red glitter? Since when was glitter edible?
In the end Dean decided on two dozen Christmas cookies, half trees and half stars.
Dean returned to the motel with the cookies as well as breakfast for the three of them in his arms. Cas was still in bed but covering Dean’s side as if he’d snuggled into the warm spot Dean left when he got up. Sam’s bed was in disarray but empty, the sound of the shower emanating from behind the bathroom door.
He made space on the table, between news clipping and files for their case, for the food, laying it out for the three of them. Eggs, bacon, sausage and coffee all arranged to Dean’s satisfaction. Turning around, Dean’s eyes landed on Cas, who was sitting up in bed just watching Dean, only the slightest tilt of his head.
“I got breakfast!” Dean announced cheerily, gesturing towards the table of food. Castiel looked between Dean and the table for a few seconds, looking so rumpled and sleep warm that Dean was tempted to just crawl back into the bed with him. Alas, the slowly forming thoughts were thwarted when Castiel got out of the bed instead. Dean smiled anyway and moved to kiss Castiel, Castiel dressing in the time it took for Dean to take a step. Dean only huffed a not-quite laugh and kissed Cas good morning, pulling him in by his suit jacket, trench coat still draped over the chair where his usual outfit had been, now replaced by (neatly folded, how the hell did that work?) pyjamas Cas had worn to bed.
Dean knew Castiel hurt a little more every time his power weakened. He could still teleport or fly or however he moved himself around, but it tired him. This resulted in Castiel travelling, more often than not, with them in the car. That, added to the need to sleep and eat, and the discovery of the awesomeness of sex that Dean attributed to himself, Castiel lived a little bit more like a human every day. Watching Cas fall in slow motion was painful and terrifying at the same time. Dean made sure he steered Castiel away from excessive amounts of alcohol these days. Just in case.
In any case, with significantly diminished powers, Castiel often did little things using his mojo, maybe just to prove he could. Dean didn’t know but if Cas didn’t want to bother with the car door or take the time to get Dean naked the old fashion way, Dean sure as hell wasn’t going to call him on it.
They broke off their kiss when the bathroom door opened, and Dean could practically hear Sam’s eye-roll, so Dean just smirked at him. Sam stopped short at the sight of the food,
“You bought breakfast?” he asked incredulous, since usually it was Sam roped into getting it.
“Yeah, so?” Dean countered, “You gonna eat at it or stare at it.” Sam just gave a shrewd knowing look and a quick glance a Cas before shaking his head.
“Thanks, Dean.” He said softly before sitting down. Dean shrugged and tried not to be disappointed when Cas only echoed Sam with a perfunctory,
“Yes, Thank you Dean.”
“There’s cookies too!” Dean said, a tad too loud as he brandished the box of cookies at his brother and his Angel, hoping for a bigger reaction.
Instead, the three of them ate and discussed the case that still needed finishing. Once all the breakfast food was gone, both Sam and Cas, at Dean’s urging, tried a Christmas cookie. Sam, as with any food, ate his with gusto while Cas delicately nibbled at his, sampling, like it might be poison. With a final clap to Dean’s shoulder and another thanks, Sam left the motel room for the County records office. Cas on the other hand, just nodded to Dean and said,
“I will be back in the evening.” And fluttered off to wherever without so much as a kiss goodbye.
Dean stayed back to look at victim connections, and in a fit of disappointment ate six Christmas cookies at once and then spent the next hour convincing himself that he didn’t want to throw-up.
Ok, so maybe Phase One was a bust.
*
Sam could see where Dean was coming from, with having this Christmas. Sam understood; everyday there was a rising possibility that they would die or have their bones jumped by pushy archangels. Whatever the danger, it was a heavy weight they all carried with them.
Sam also understood that Dean wanted Castiel to enjoy the holiday with them as well. It hadn’t been all that surprising when Dean announced randomly that he and Cas were a couple now. No, the surprising part was that he actually announced it to Sam. And their waitress. And the diner they were in. As loud as he could get without actually shouting. In any case, Dean and Castiel had become DeanandCastiel so seamlessly it seemed nothing had changed. And really, it kinda hadn’t except for those, thankfully rare, moments where Sam was in serious need of brain-bleach, for which he always had a good helping of angst to distract himself with.
So Dean’s need to bring Cas into the Christmas fold was understandable but this, this was going too far.
“You hate Christmas Carols.” Sam said dumbly as he stood in the doorway to their room.
“I thought it might help the mood.” Dean said, as if that explained the cacophony of sound warbling from his laptop about angels harking and heralding.
Shaking himself from his stupor, Sam came fully into the room, feeling a little desperate when he pleaded his brother,
“Please tell me you haven’t gotten your hands on the 12 Days of Christmas?” Sam begged. Dean only grinned evilly at him and Sam resigned himself to having the song looping through his brain for the next week.
“I called Bobby,” Dean said instead, changing the subject, “And he’s all up for having Christmas as long as I don’t burn his kitchen down.”
Sam felt floored yet again,
“You’re cooking?”
Dean gave him a strange look that clearly meant he thought Sam was walking the ‘Special’ side of the fence today.
“Of course I’m cooking. Are you gonna cook Christmas dinner?” Dean asked, his tone clearly indicating that the very idea was preposterous.
“I can cook.” Sam said but his defence was only slight as he gave a distracted wince as Jingle Bells started on Dean’s laptop. Changing the subject all together, Sam brandished the folder he’s pulled out of his bag. “I found a connection between all the suicides.” He said.
“Thank fuck!” Dean exclaimed, “I was going cross-eyed over these files. What’s the connection?”
“They all had classes in the same lecture hall.” Sam explained.
“Lots of kids use that lecture hall.” Dean pointed out.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “but all the suicides were on the college Rowing team and that exact lecture hall is where the Rowing coach, one of the teachers, committed suicide last year.” He explained.
Dean frowned at the information, “How come this was so hard to find?” he asked.
Sam shrugged, “I think the college tried to keep it as quite as possible. They buried it pretty deep.”
“Okay then, do we know where the coach is buried?” Dean asked.
“Yep,” Sam said, pointing it out in the Coaches info, “Salt and burn and we’re good to go.”
“Good,” Dean said, pleased to wrap the case up, “I need to get gifts before we go to Bobby’s.”
Sam considered his brother for a moment, his mind going back to his earlier thoughts on Dean’s new found enthusiasm for Christmas.
“You really love him, don’t you?” Sam said quietly to his brother. Dean stopped a moment and looked back at Sam, taking the quiet moment for some rare honesty,
“I really do. I wouldn’t have told you about Cas and me, if I didn’t.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Sam said and gestured to the laptop now jingling about Santa Clause, “I mean, you’re going to so much effort, just to give him Christmas, a holiday he doesn’t really even celebrate.”
Dean was quiet for another moment before he said,
“This is for all of us. Christmas is supposed to be about family, yeah?” He looked away for a moment as he finished, “I just want to have a family Christmas this year, just in case...” Dean trailed off but in his mind Sam finished what went unsaid. In case we don’t get another one.
Sam quirked a smile at his brother across the table and asked,
“Well, in that case, did you need me to do anything?” Dean grinned at him and assigned Sam the all important job of finding a tree once they got to Bobby’s. Just as Dean was so seriously assigning Sam his job, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree started playing and Sam just had to laugh.
Maybe Christmas wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
*
Dean loved making-out with Cas. Before him, Dean hadn’t bothered with it as anything other than a prelude to sex, and while making-out with Cas was sometimes akin to foreplay, working him up before Cas pushed him down, pushed in and made Dean forget to breathe, there were other times, just like this one, where Dean could lay on the bed with Cas for hours, just kissing him like he was starving for it.
Perhaps Dean could blame the heady drunk feeling making-out with Cas gave him for how one little question went so horribly wrong.
“Cas,” Dean murmured, voice low and a little rough as Cas set about bruising up Dean’s neck, “What d’you want for Christmas.”
Castiel froze in what he was doing, pulling back to look at Dean with a constipated look on his face.
“What?” asked Dean, now very confused, especially when Castiel untangled his legs from Dean’s, moving to sit up on the bed.
“Why would I want anything?” Castiel asked, lank voice beginning to frustrate Dean.
“Because,” Dean replied, “Giving gifts is a part of the Christmas thing.”
Castiel averted his eyes from Dean, saying,
“The ‘Christmas thing’ is also a tradition for family members.” He told Dean a little hollowly, “I fail to see how it involves me.”
Dean had no words as hurt bloomed in his chest. The fact that Cas didn’t consider Dean his family ran through Dean’s mind as he struggled to find his voice. After everything they’d done, after all that they were together, Dean still wasn’t good enough for Castiel to think of as family. Trying to quash the pain in his heart, a quick rush of anger flowed through Dean, defensive to the pain.
“Well I’m so sorry I’m not good enough to be part of your family.” Dean said harshly, “But if I recall correctly, you’re the one sticking around, or is that just because you’ve got nowhere else to go?” Dean didn’t bother to wait for an answer to the bitter question, thumping off the bed and into his boots and jacket. Which meant that Dean completely missed the bewildered look Cas was giving him as he swirled out the door.
Castiel felt momentarily lost. Not an uncommon feeling these days, but not one he usually associated with Dean. There was a misinterpretation here, Castiel was sure, but he couldn’t quite grasp what it was. Castiel was going to need some help.
*
“I’m failing to understand just where the conversation went wrong.” Castiel told Sam, sitting with him at a table in the campus bar where he’d found Sam.
Mentally rolling his eyes at the ridiculous role of Marriage Counsellor that seemed to have been dumped on him, Sam instructed Cas,
“Ok, just start from the beginning.” Jeeze, is this what Bobby felt when he and Dean started calling him up to complain about each other?
“Well, we were on the bed-” Castiel started before Sam hastily interrupted him,
“Skip that part and tell me what you talked about.”
“Dean asked me,” Castiel started again, “what gift I would like to receive for Christmas and I may have acted unfavourably.”
“What did you say?” questioned Sam.
“I merely pointed out that in my understanding of Christmas; it is a tradition between families.” Castiel said.
Sam quietly scrutinized Castiel for a moment over his beer bottle. He considered Castiel’s words as he glanced down, scraping the mud on his shoe with his other foot, remnants from the cemetery where they’d done the salt and burn earlier that day. Sam looked back up at Castiel; quite sure they’d reached the crux of his and Dean’s argument.
“Cas,” he said slowly, “Do you consider yourself part of our family.” Castiel’s cheeks coloured slightly as he responded bashfully, something foreign for the Angel,
“I didn’t want to assume. Family is very important to Dean. You are very important to Dean.”
Sam sighed,
“Cas, look at me.” Sam said, continuing when Cas did look at him. “Dean may be somewhat emotionally retarded but I know for certain that he loves you. And I know you know that.”
“But still-“ Castiel tried to protest, but Sam cut him off again,
“And family isn’t only about blood you know. Our family isn’t just Dean and I. Bobby’s a part of it, Jo and Ellen are... were a part of it,” Sam continued on, making his point as Castiel started to look a little shamed, “and, whether you like it or not, you’re a part of this family now. You were, even before Dean started groping you in his sleep.” Sam concluded as Castiel looked very uncomfortable.
“I think,” Castiel said after a moment, “I think I gave Dean the impression that I didn’t consider him my family, but I do.”
Sam just smiled at Castiel,
“How ‘bout you tell him that,” Sam said, handing over his phone, “instead of telling me. Dean can be kinda insecure, and it’s even worse when he feels vulnerable. Give him a call.”
“I have a cell phone.” Castiel pointed out, taking Sam’s phone,
“Yes,” Sam agreed, “But he’s pissed at you and might not answer if he sees your name.”
“Oh.”
Sam got up from the table and ambled over to the bar to give Castiel some privacy. Ordering another beer, Sam smiled to himself; he was definitely getting Bobby an extra bottle of whiskey in order to thank the man for playing counsellor to his and Dean’s problems.
*
“I’m sorry Dean, I now realize my mistake. I gave you the impression that I didn’t consider you my family, but I do. I was unsure and insecure about my own place in your life. This, we, is very new to me and I didn’t want to assume too much of you. I do hope you’ll forgive me and that you still consider me family, as I do you. Please call me back. I am at the bar on the College Campus with Sam. By the way, this is Castiel.”
The end of the awkward message beeped in his ear as Dean considered Castiel’s words. A mixture of relief and another, softer ache, swept through Dean, replacing the anger and hurt he’d been carrying for the last hour.
That stupid, stupid Angel. How could he even think that he wasn’t a part of their family. Ok, sure, that had the most epically sucky luck, but they still stuck together and tried to push through it. Feeling more fond than angry, Dean made a quick decision to set his (stupid) Angel on the right track.
It didn’t take long at all for Dean to pull up to the crappy bar swarming with Co-eds and stomp inside. Dean easily spotted his gigantic brother at the bar, stupidly averting his gaze from the bartender’s breasts. Pussy, Dean thought fondly before his eyes picked Castiel out of the crowd, sitting morosely at a table fiddling with Sam’s phone.
Right, here goes it.
Striding up to the table and mustering up as much indignation as he could, Dean let Castiel have it.
“You are one fucking stupid Angel.” Dean announced to him as Cas’ head snapped up to look at Dean. He appeared to be about to say something but Dean railroaded him. “I mean, really? How the hell could you think that I don’t consider you part of my family?” Castiel gaped at Dean, and heads started to swivel towards Dean’s spectacle, even as Dean continued to ignore it all in favour of his rant. “What I need you to understand is this; I love you. I completely fucking love you and I’m pretty sure you love me too. That means, like it or not, you are part of our fucked up little family. And families have Christmas together. Ergo, you will come to Bobby’s with us, and you will be having Christmas dinner with us and you will damn well like the present I get you. Because that’s what families do. Are we clear?”
Castiel seemed to have been struck silent by Dean’s demands and could only nod at him, wide eyed. Dean let himself smile a satisfied grin, feeling triumphant as he nodded back with a hearty, “Good!” and hauled Cas out of his chair by the lapels of his coat, fitting his mouth over Cas’ in a heated kiss. Dean disengaged after only a few seconds though, quite aware of every set of eyes on them. Dean smoothed down Cas’ clothes and said, voice much softer now,
“I’ll see you back at the motel, I still have the presents to buy.” Still out of words, Castiel just nodded again. Dean pulled away and left the bar, making eye contact with Sam as he left, Sam raising his drink towards Dean with a nod and a smile.
*
In the end, the Winchester/Singer Christmas Day celebration was a rousing success. Presents (and kisses in DeanandCastiel’s case) were exchanged around the large evergreen Sam had acquired as was his allocated job and had been decorated with enthusiasm by the three of them under the gruffly fond instruction of Bobby. Even the food had turned out great. The ham glistened enticingly; the potatoes cooked just right, the pie at just the right warmth, with a heap of whipped cream. And, of course, lots of eggnog was supplied, with a kick stronger than a horse. And all of this done with minimal damage to Bobby’s kitchen (there was one new burnt spot on the counter now but how the hell was Dean supposed to know that eggnog could be set alight?)
Snow even started to fall before they all retired. The four of them watched as the flakes started to pile up on the gutted cars, quietly enjoying the rare peace that they never usually got. Sam and Bobby thanking Dean as they made their way to bed, as Dean tried not to glow about his most awesome idea and execution of it.
Castiel thanked Dean as well, only much later as they were pressed together, skin to skin, sweating slightly as their heart rates tried to return to normal.
“Thank you.” Castiel whispered against Dean’s lips and this time, Dean didn’t bother to hide his pleased smile, kissing Castiel gently as they listened to the quiet sounds of their snowy Christmas night.
Fin
Title: The Winchester Family Christmas Plan
Author: beef_wonder3
Recipient: lilyleia78
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: S5 AU, Scmoop and Christmas Carols
Spoilers: 5.10 Abandon All Hope, slightly AU
Wordcount: 4488
Summary: Dean plans the perfect family Christmas. No seriously, it’s going to be awesome.
Author notes: Merry Christmas! Here’s plenty of schmoop for you. Seriously, layers and layers of schmoop. Hope you enjoy it!
Kathleen Archer loved to know things. Okay, so she loved to know everything. This was probably why she was Ohio States very own Gossip Girl. And if Kathleen didn’t actually have all the facts to a story, well, that wasn’t going to stop her from telling it, something that was just a little problem that only arose when she was actually telling the facts straight.
“Bullshit.” Kathleen’s friend, Amanda, called.
“It is not!” Kathleen protested, “100% honest to God’s truth.”
“No way,” Laura, another friend, interjected, “Guys as hot as that don’t storm into bars and profess their love to other hot guys.”
“This one did!” Kathleen insisted to her friends. “That totally hot Fed just stormed in, went off at this guy about love and family and Christmas and then dragged the guy in and kissed him!”
“Kissed him?” her friends said in doubtful unison.
“Totally! And then he just turned around and walked right out.” Kathleen sighed a little wistfully, “It was the most romantic thing I've ever seen.”
Despite her friends doubt in her story, Kathleen’s account was entirely true. Not that she knew, or ever would know, the events that lead up to Dean Winchester kissing an Angel of the Lord in the middle of a college bar. Perhaps it was a Christmas miracle...
3 days earlier
“Did Justin seem moody or depressed the last time you saw him?” Sam asked the group of girls they were interviewing.
“Not at all!” replied Kathleen, “He was totally psyched about going home for the holidays.” The girl beside her let out a quiet sob, so Dean decided to wrap it up, thanking the group for their time.
“Well, that was a whole lot of nothing.” Dean said once in the car.
Sam shrugged in the passenger seat, “It’s the 3rd suicide of this week. There’s gotta be something more to it. Happy kids just don’t off themselves for no reason.”
Dean inclined his head in agreement, directing the car into the icy driveway of their motel. Walking into their room, the Winchesters were greeted with an overabundance of Christmas cheer emanating from the television Castiel was watching. Well, less watching and more staring at like it would tell him the secrets of the universe.
Sam cringed and began to divest his suit jacket of his belongings. Dean, on the other hand, walked over to Castiel, where he sitting on the end of one of the beds (his and Dean’s to be precise) and covered the back of Cas’ neck with his hand, a small sign of the affection Dean still wasn’t used to.
“Any reason why you’re subjecting yourself to ’Carols by Tweens’?” Dean asked. Castiel tore his eyes away from the energetic Disney stars to look up at Dean,
“I am ‘getting into the spirit of the holiday’.” Castiel stated, as if he was repeating something he’d heard.
“O-ok” Dean replied, after a pause he asked, “I thought Angel’s would already be big on celebrating Jesus’ birthday?”
“We are.” Castiel informed Dean, turning back to the TV, “We celebrate the Messiah’s birthday, on the actual memoriam of his birth.” Dean considered this for a moment,
“That’s in Spring, right?” He asked eventually, looking at Sam for confirmation.
“That is correct.” Cas said while Sam nodded absently. “But,” Castiel continued, shifting slightly to arch into Dean’s hand where he was slowly circling his thumb on Cas’ neck. “I have found the Human celebrations to have developed quite positively from what was once Pagan rituals.” He looked up again before elaborating, “It appears the modern day feeling of Christmas, especially in America, is infused with generosity and embracing ones family.” Castiel averted his eyes then, seeming to slump slightly as he went back to watching.
Dean frowned at Castiel’s sudden disheartened changed. And then for the first time in a while, Dean remembered that Cas had a family once too. A family that now wants him dead, had cast him out into the cold because he stood against their plan. Dean felt a fresh wave of hatred for dickish Angels and all that important agenda they have shoved up their ass. Dean moved to sit on the bed next to Cas, trying to be subtle, hoping the press of their sides together would feel like a comfort to Cas.
The worst thing was, a painful ache settling in his chest, is that Dean knew what Cas was feeling. There was a Christmas or two while Sam was at Stanford, where Dad was off on a hunt and Dean was so sick of ‘Holiday Cheer and Family Fun’ being shoved in his face that he practically hid from the world in whatever dive he could find. Pretended as hard as he could that the one thing he wanted most in the world wasn’t just one more Family Christmas.
Curling an arm around Cas’ waist, Dean was heartened when Cas leaned into him, just slightly, inspiration striking Dean, clear and sure.
“We should do Christmas this year.” He announced to the room, making both Castiel and Sam turn to look at him. Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean over the coroner’s report he was reading,
“Christmas? Dean, there’s a little something you might be forgetting, like, maybe, the Apocalypse.” Sam said.
“Well, since it’s the Apocalypse, shouldn’t we have Christmas anyway? Enjoy ourselves before the world goes to shit?” Dean reasoned. Castiel said nothing.
Sam hesitated, clearly reading the imploring look Dean was giving him. “C’mon Sammy,” Dean cajoled gently, “Christmas is a time for Family.”
Sam looked at Dean considering, for a moment before relenting,
“Sure. We’ll give Bobby a call. See if he’s up for it.
Dean smiled winningly, feeling victorious before turning his grin on Cas, who was looking between Dean and Sam, thoughtful expression on his face before turning his attention back, once again, to the garish colours on the screen. Dean’s grin dimmed a little; he’d been hoping the thought of celebrating Christmas would cheer Cas up. Perhaps he hadn’t quite grasped the Christmas spirit yet. Well, Dean would see to that. By the time he was done, Cas would be giving Christmas spirit supernaturally livened teddy bear-sized hugs. He was sure of it.
*
Dean made sure to get up a little earlier than usual to get a head start on The Winchester Family Christmas Plan. Ok, so the title needed work but after all the shit they'd been through and all the shit they knew was coming, Dean wanted just one day they could put it aside. Christ, it almost felt like he was turning into a chick. Or worse; into Sam. Dean shoved his emotional analysis to the side and got up and dressed and out the door stealthily enough not to wake either Sam or castle. Oh yeah. He was a total ninja.
Phase One of the plan in Dean’s mind was food. It had been a long time, a very long time, since Dean had cooked a full roast dinner but he was sure he and Bobby could figure it out. Dean loitered through the supermarket, not buying but tapping a list of things they'd need into his phone.
Ham
Potatoes
Green beans
Gravy
Pudding? Or Pie?
And so on and so forth. Although, ‘Pudding? or Pie?’ was all in capital letters.
Deans next stop was the bakery to choose between gingerbread men and Christmas cookies shaped like trees and stars. Dean’s train of thought was momentarily derailed at the sight of cupcakes decorated with green icing and what looked like red glitter? Since when was glitter edible?
In the end Dean decided on two dozen Christmas cookies, half trees and half stars.
Dean returned to the motel with the cookies as well as breakfast for the three of them in his arms. Cas was still in bed but covering Dean’s side as if he’d snuggled into the warm spot Dean left when he got up. Sam’s bed was in disarray but empty, the sound of the shower emanating from behind the bathroom door.
He made space on the table, between news clipping and files for their case, for the food, laying it out for the three of them. Eggs, bacon, sausage and coffee all arranged to Dean’s satisfaction. Turning around, Dean’s eyes landed on Cas, who was sitting up in bed just watching Dean, only the slightest tilt of his head.
“I got breakfast!” Dean announced cheerily, gesturing towards the table of food. Castiel looked between Dean and the table for a few seconds, looking so rumpled and sleep warm that Dean was tempted to just crawl back into the bed with him. Alas, the slowly forming thoughts were thwarted when Castiel got out of the bed instead. Dean smiled anyway and moved to kiss Castiel, Castiel dressing in the time it took for Dean to take a step. Dean only huffed a not-quite laugh and kissed Cas good morning, pulling him in by his suit jacket, trench coat still draped over the chair where his usual outfit had been, now replaced by (neatly folded, how the hell did that work?) pyjamas Cas had worn to bed.
Dean knew Castiel hurt a little more every time his power weakened. He could still teleport or fly or however he moved himself around, but it tired him. This resulted in Castiel travelling, more often than not, with them in the car. That, added to the need to sleep and eat, and the discovery of the awesomeness of sex that Dean attributed to himself, Castiel lived a little bit more like a human every day. Watching Cas fall in slow motion was painful and terrifying at the same time. Dean made sure he steered Castiel away from excessive amounts of alcohol these days. Just in case.
In any case, with significantly diminished powers, Castiel often did little things using his mojo, maybe just to prove he could. Dean didn’t know but if Cas didn’t want to bother with the car door or take the time to get Dean naked the old fashion way, Dean sure as hell wasn’t going to call him on it.
They broke off their kiss when the bathroom door opened, and Dean could practically hear Sam’s eye-roll, so Dean just smirked at him. Sam stopped short at the sight of the food,
“You bought breakfast?” he asked incredulous, since usually it was Sam roped into getting it.
“Yeah, so?” Dean countered, “You gonna eat at it or stare at it.” Sam just gave a shrewd knowing look and a quick glance a Cas before shaking his head.
“Thanks, Dean.” He said softly before sitting down. Dean shrugged and tried not to be disappointed when Cas only echoed Sam with a perfunctory,
“Yes, Thank you Dean.”
“There’s cookies too!” Dean said, a tad too loud as he brandished the box of cookies at his brother and his Angel, hoping for a bigger reaction.
Instead, the three of them ate and discussed the case that still needed finishing. Once all the breakfast food was gone, both Sam and Cas, at Dean’s urging, tried a Christmas cookie. Sam, as with any food, ate his with gusto while Cas delicately nibbled at his, sampling, like it might be poison. With a final clap to Dean’s shoulder and another thanks, Sam left the motel room for the County records office. Cas on the other hand, just nodded to Dean and said,
“I will be back in the evening.” And fluttered off to wherever without so much as a kiss goodbye.
Dean stayed back to look at victim connections, and in a fit of disappointment ate six Christmas cookies at once and then spent the next hour convincing himself that he didn’t want to throw-up.
Ok, so maybe Phase One was a bust.
*
Sam could see where Dean was coming from, with having this Christmas. Sam understood; everyday there was a rising possibility that they would die or have their bones jumped by pushy archangels. Whatever the danger, it was a heavy weight they all carried with them.
Sam also understood that Dean wanted Castiel to enjoy the holiday with them as well. It hadn’t been all that surprising when Dean announced randomly that he and Cas were a couple now. No, the surprising part was that he actually announced it to Sam. And their waitress. And the diner they were in. As loud as he could get without actually shouting. In any case, Dean and Castiel had become DeanandCastiel so seamlessly it seemed nothing had changed. And really, it kinda hadn’t except for those, thankfully rare, moments where Sam was in serious need of brain-bleach, for which he always had a good helping of angst to distract himself with.
So Dean’s need to bring Cas into the Christmas fold was understandable but this, this was going too far.
“You hate Christmas Carols.” Sam said dumbly as he stood in the doorway to their room.
“I thought it might help the mood.” Dean said, as if that explained the cacophony of sound warbling from his laptop about angels harking and heralding.
Shaking himself from his stupor, Sam came fully into the room, feeling a little desperate when he pleaded his brother,
“Please tell me you haven’t gotten your hands on the 12 Days of Christmas?” Sam begged. Dean only grinned evilly at him and Sam resigned himself to having the song looping through his brain for the next week.
“I called Bobby,” Dean said instead, changing the subject, “And he’s all up for having Christmas as long as I don’t burn his kitchen down.”
Sam felt floored yet again,
“You’re cooking?”
Dean gave him a strange look that clearly meant he thought Sam was walking the ‘Special’ side of the fence today.
“Of course I’m cooking. Are you gonna cook Christmas dinner?” Dean asked, his tone clearly indicating that the very idea was preposterous.
“I can cook.” Sam said but his defence was only slight as he gave a distracted wince as Jingle Bells started on Dean’s laptop. Changing the subject all together, Sam brandished the folder he’s pulled out of his bag. “I found a connection between all the suicides.” He said.
“Thank fuck!” Dean exclaimed, “I was going cross-eyed over these files. What’s the connection?”
“They all had classes in the same lecture hall.” Sam explained.
“Lots of kids use that lecture hall.” Dean pointed out.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “but all the suicides were on the college Rowing team and that exact lecture hall is where the Rowing coach, one of the teachers, committed suicide last year.” He explained.
Dean frowned at the information, “How come this was so hard to find?” he asked.
Sam shrugged, “I think the college tried to keep it as quite as possible. They buried it pretty deep.”
“Okay then, do we know where the coach is buried?” Dean asked.
“Yep,” Sam said, pointing it out in the Coaches info, “Salt and burn and we’re good to go.”
“Good,” Dean said, pleased to wrap the case up, “I need to get gifts before we go to Bobby’s.”
Sam considered his brother for a moment, his mind going back to his earlier thoughts on Dean’s new found enthusiasm for Christmas.
“You really love him, don’t you?” Sam said quietly to his brother. Dean stopped a moment and looked back at Sam, taking the quiet moment for some rare honesty,
“I really do. I wouldn’t have told you about Cas and me, if I didn’t.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Sam said and gestured to the laptop now jingling about Santa Clause, “I mean, you’re going to so much effort, just to give him Christmas, a holiday he doesn’t really even celebrate.”
Dean was quiet for another moment before he said,
“This is for all of us. Christmas is supposed to be about family, yeah?” He looked away for a moment as he finished, “I just want to have a family Christmas this year, just in case...” Dean trailed off but in his mind Sam finished what went unsaid. In case we don’t get another one.
Sam quirked a smile at his brother across the table and asked,
“Well, in that case, did you need me to do anything?” Dean grinned at him and assigned Sam the all important job of finding a tree once they got to Bobby’s. Just as Dean was so seriously assigning Sam his job, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree started playing and Sam just had to laugh.
Maybe Christmas wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
*
Dean loved making-out with Cas. Before him, Dean hadn’t bothered with it as anything other than a prelude to sex, and while making-out with Cas was sometimes akin to foreplay, working him up before Cas pushed him down, pushed in and made Dean forget to breathe, there were other times, just like this one, where Dean could lay on the bed with Cas for hours, just kissing him like he was starving for it.
Perhaps Dean could blame the heady drunk feeling making-out with Cas gave him for how one little question went so horribly wrong.
“Cas,” Dean murmured, voice low and a little rough as Cas set about bruising up Dean’s neck, “What d’you want for Christmas.”
Castiel froze in what he was doing, pulling back to look at Dean with a constipated look on his face.
“What?” asked Dean, now very confused, especially when Castiel untangled his legs from Dean’s, moving to sit up on the bed.
“Why would I want anything?” Castiel asked, lank voice beginning to frustrate Dean.
“Because,” Dean replied, “Giving gifts is a part of the Christmas thing.”
Castiel averted his eyes from Dean, saying,
“The ‘Christmas thing’ is also a tradition for family members.” He told Dean a little hollowly, “I fail to see how it involves me.”
Dean had no words as hurt bloomed in his chest. The fact that Cas didn’t consider Dean his family ran through Dean’s mind as he struggled to find his voice. After everything they’d done, after all that they were together, Dean still wasn’t good enough for Castiel to think of as family. Trying to quash the pain in his heart, a quick rush of anger flowed through Dean, defensive to the pain.
“Well I’m so sorry I’m not good enough to be part of your family.” Dean said harshly, “But if I recall correctly, you’re the one sticking around, or is that just because you’ve got nowhere else to go?” Dean didn’t bother to wait for an answer to the bitter question, thumping off the bed and into his boots and jacket. Which meant that Dean completely missed the bewildered look Cas was giving him as he swirled out the door.
Castiel felt momentarily lost. Not an uncommon feeling these days, but not one he usually associated with Dean. There was a misinterpretation here, Castiel was sure, but he couldn’t quite grasp what it was. Castiel was going to need some help.
*
“I’m failing to understand just where the conversation went wrong.” Castiel told Sam, sitting with him at a table in the campus bar where he’d found Sam.
Mentally rolling his eyes at the ridiculous role of Marriage Counsellor that seemed to have been dumped on him, Sam instructed Cas,
“Ok, just start from the beginning.” Jeeze, is this what Bobby felt when he and Dean started calling him up to complain about each other?
“Well, we were on the bed-” Castiel started before Sam hastily interrupted him,
“Skip that part and tell me what you talked about.”
“Dean asked me,” Castiel started again, “what gift I would like to receive for Christmas and I may have acted unfavourably.”
“What did you say?” questioned Sam.
“I merely pointed out that in my understanding of Christmas; it is a tradition between families.” Castiel said.
Sam quietly scrutinized Castiel for a moment over his beer bottle. He considered Castiel’s words as he glanced down, scraping the mud on his shoe with his other foot, remnants from the cemetery where they’d done the salt and burn earlier that day. Sam looked back up at Castiel; quite sure they’d reached the crux of his and Dean’s argument.
“Cas,” he said slowly, “Do you consider yourself part of our family.” Castiel’s cheeks coloured slightly as he responded bashfully, something foreign for the Angel,
“I didn’t want to assume. Family is very important to Dean. You are very important to Dean.”
Sam sighed,
“Cas, look at me.” Sam said, continuing when Cas did look at him. “Dean may be somewhat emotionally retarded but I know for certain that he loves you. And I know you know that.”
“But still-“ Castiel tried to protest, but Sam cut him off again,
“And family isn’t only about blood you know. Our family isn’t just Dean and I. Bobby’s a part of it, Jo and Ellen are... were a part of it,” Sam continued on, making his point as Castiel started to look a little shamed, “and, whether you like it or not, you’re a part of this family now. You were, even before Dean started groping you in his sleep.” Sam concluded as Castiel looked very uncomfortable.
“I think,” Castiel said after a moment, “I think I gave Dean the impression that I didn’t consider him my family, but I do.”
Sam just smiled at Castiel,
“How ‘bout you tell him that,” Sam said, handing over his phone, “instead of telling me. Dean can be kinda insecure, and it’s even worse when he feels vulnerable. Give him a call.”
“I have a cell phone.” Castiel pointed out, taking Sam’s phone,
“Yes,” Sam agreed, “But he’s pissed at you and might not answer if he sees your name.”
“Oh.”
Sam got up from the table and ambled over to the bar to give Castiel some privacy. Ordering another beer, Sam smiled to himself; he was definitely getting Bobby an extra bottle of whiskey in order to thank the man for playing counsellor to his and Dean’s problems.
*
“I’m sorry Dean, I now realize my mistake. I gave you the impression that I didn’t consider you my family, but I do. I was unsure and insecure about my own place in your life. This, we, is very new to me and I didn’t want to assume too much of you. I do hope you’ll forgive me and that you still consider me family, as I do you. Please call me back. I am at the bar on the College Campus with Sam. By the way, this is Castiel.”
The end of the awkward message beeped in his ear as Dean considered Castiel’s words. A mixture of relief and another, softer ache, swept through Dean, replacing the anger and hurt he’d been carrying for the last hour.
That stupid, stupid Angel. How could he even think that he wasn’t a part of their family. Ok, sure, that had the most epically sucky luck, but they still stuck together and tried to push through it. Feeling more fond than angry, Dean made a quick decision to set his (stupid) Angel on the right track.
It didn’t take long at all for Dean to pull up to the crappy bar swarming with Co-eds and stomp inside. Dean easily spotted his gigantic brother at the bar, stupidly averting his gaze from the bartender’s breasts. Pussy, Dean thought fondly before his eyes picked Castiel out of the crowd, sitting morosely at a table fiddling with Sam’s phone.
Right, here goes it.
Striding up to the table and mustering up as much indignation as he could, Dean let Castiel have it.
“You are one fucking stupid Angel.” Dean announced to him as Cas’ head snapped up to look at Dean. He appeared to be about to say something but Dean railroaded him. “I mean, really? How the hell could you think that I don’t consider you part of my family?” Castiel gaped at Dean, and heads started to swivel towards Dean’s spectacle, even as Dean continued to ignore it all in favour of his rant. “What I need you to understand is this; I love you. I completely fucking love you and I’m pretty sure you love me too. That means, like it or not, you are part of our fucked up little family. And families have Christmas together. Ergo, you will come to Bobby’s with us, and you will be having Christmas dinner with us and you will damn well like the present I get you. Because that’s what families do. Are we clear?”
Castiel seemed to have been struck silent by Dean’s demands and could only nod at him, wide eyed. Dean let himself smile a satisfied grin, feeling triumphant as he nodded back with a hearty, “Good!” and hauled Cas out of his chair by the lapels of his coat, fitting his mouth over Cas’ in a heated kiss. Dean disengaged after only a few seconds though, quite aware of every set of eyes on them. Dean smoothed down Cas’ clothes and said, voice much softer now,
“I’ll see you back at the motel, I still have the presents to buy.” Still out of words, Castiel just nodded again. Dean pulled away and left the bar, making eye contact with Sam as he left, Sam raising his drink towards Dean with a nod and a smile.
*
In the end, the Winchester/Singer Christmas Day celebration was a rousing success. Presents (and kisses in DeanandCastiel’s case) were exchanged around the large evergreen Sam had acquired as was his allocated job and had been decorated with enthusiasm by the three of them under the gruffly fond instruction of Bobby. Even the food had turned out great. The ham glistened enticingly; the potatoes cooked just right, the pie at just the right warmth, with a heap of whipped cream. And, of course, lots of eggnog was supplied, with a kick stronger than a horse. And all of this done with minimal damage to Bobby’s kitchen (there was one new burnt spot on the counter now but how the hell was Dean supposed to know that eggnog could be set alight?)
Snow even started to fall before they all retired. The four of them watched as the flakes started to pile up on the gutted cars, quietly enjoying the rare peace that they never usually got. Sam and Bobby thanking Dean as they made their way to bed, as Dean tried not to glow about his most awesome idea and execution of it.
Castiel thanked Dean as well, only much later as they were pressed together, skin to skin, sweating slightly as their heart rates tried to return to normal.
“Thank you.” Castiel whispered against Dean’s lips and this time, Dean didn’t bother to hide his pleased smile, kissing Castiel gently as they listened to the quiet sounds of their snowy Christmas night.
Fin