[Fic] There's Something About Cas (PG) for tehopheliac
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: There's Something About Cas
Recepient: tehopheliac
Author: vfdj42
Rating: PG
Warnings: Animal transformation? Original Angel? Mentions of God/Lucifer?
Spoilers: None
Summary: The prompt was "Castiel has been changed intro a squirrel. Dean has to take care of him for the duration and becomes really attached. They do everything together and Sam can't help but be amused by it all. (Requirement: squirrel!Castiel has to be nice to Sam too. Maybe he'll give Sam one of his nuts to share his breakfast, try to help him find a book or something small he lost, sleep on his bed during the day (but with/on Dean at night). Dean is secretly jealous. --Refer to sweet and funny like the above example/plant!fic instead of just hilarious!crack.) "
I tried to do that, um, more or less?
Author notes: A drive by reference to Good Omens; Rahmiel is an angel of love; and um...I think that's it. Oh, and my friend made up the stuff about dwarves and told me to use it, so I did.
Dean was sitting on a park bench, watching squirrels scurry across the ground. He didn't know what he was doing there-he was pretty sure he had more important things to do than watch squirrels play with their nuts.
He giggled at this.
“Something funny?”
“You wouldn't get it,” Dean muttered. “What is all this?”
“It's a dream,” Castiel said.
Dean sort of liked it when Castiel showed up in his dreams, but he tried to convince himself that he didn't. After all, it was weird and creepy, but then again, it was Castiel.
“I'd rather be fishing,” Dean decided
“And I'd rather be--” Castiel was cut off. The scene vanished, and Dean opened his eyes.
On the pillow next to him was a small black squirrel, staring at him. Dean stared right back, but he was confused while the squirrel was...intense.
Could squirrels be intense?
“Cas?” Dean muttered.
The squirrel chirped, or whatever squirrels do, and scurried around the pillow. Dean picked it up and held it to his face.
“Oh how the mighty have fallen,” Dean said with a smirk. The squirrel bristled and squeaked, annoyed. “Don't bite me. You don't have rabies or anything, do you?”
Castiel looked as indignant as it was possible for a squirrel to be.
Sam was waking up in the bed next to Dean. Groggy, he could have sworn he saw Dean holding some sort of animal.
“Dean,” Sam said. “Why is there a rodent in your bed?”
“It's Cas,” Dean smiled. “Isn't he cute?”
“Please,” Sam said, rubbing his eyes. “I haven't even had my coffee yet.”
“No pooping in the Impala,” Dean told Castiel as he slid into the driver's seat.
“Don't tease him,” Sam said. Sam thought that Dean should be more worried about why Castiel was a squirrel and he suggested they do some research, but Dean wanted breakfast before looking at a book. Sam got in the passenger seat and Castiel crawled onto his lap.
“Oh, let me have a little fun,” Dean insisted. “He'll be back to normal in no time.”
If he was being perfectly honest, Sam did like having a squirrelly Cas around. It was a little less unnerving having a soft, cuddly woodland creature around than a smiting, staring man. Sam pet Castiel, hoping that the angel wouldn't burn his eyes out, but he seemed to enjoy it. Dean glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.
“So, uh...what's this?” Dean asked, trying to hide his jealousy.
“Nothing,” Sam said, stopping immediately.
They pulled into the closest diner to the library, Castiel following Dean as he got out of the car and perching on his shoulder.
“Oh come on, what is this?” Dean said, trying to hide his smile. Take that, Sam, he thought. He felt really cool walking into the diner with a badass squirrrel on his shoulder.
“You're like a Disney princess,” Sam smirked.
“Um, two,” Dean said.
“Looks like three,” the waitress remarked. “No pets.”
Dean said, “He's, uh, he's not a pet, he's--”
“He's his best friend,” Sam said. “His only friend, actually.”
Dean glared at Sam, who ignored it, putting his arm around Dean instead.
“God, it must have been...eight years ago. The poor squirrel fell out of the tree, and Dean was heartbroken. Crying-sobbing, really. He begged me to nurse it back to health and ever since then, they've been inseparable.”
The waitress thought the squirrel was glaring at Sam, too. She didn't want to argue.
“Follow me,” she sighed.
“You are so going to pay for that,” Dean hissed. They slid into a booth and the waitress asked if they were ready to order.
“Um, I'll have the banana nut pancakes,” Dean said.
“And I'll have a fruit platter,” Sam said.
“Can I, uh, can I get some extra nuts?” Dean asked.
“Dean likes nuts,” Sam added.
“Well, Sam's a fruit,”
“Is there a reason you got banana nut pancakes?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged.
A little while later, the food was placed in front of them. Dean fed Castiel a nut with his fork before using the same fork to eat his breakfast. Sam watched as Castiel used his squirrel hands to pick through Dean's breakfast.
“That is so not hygienic,” he said, picking out some fruit and setting aside for Castiel.
“It's Cas,” Dean said, shrugging. Castiel placed a nut in front of Sam and watched him expectantly with his head tilted to the side.
“Thanks,” Sam said, hesitantly.
Castiel was chittering excitedly as they entered the library, so Dean had to take him off his shoulder and explain to him the ways of squirrel-human interaction outside the library door.
“Listen, you have to be quiet in here. You have to be quieter than humans because squirrels aren't even allowed in libraries,”
“Maybe he'd be better off...outside?” Sam said, trying to ignore the lingering glances of some girls walking into the library.
Dean cupped his hand around Cas protectively.
“But-“ Dean said, then cut himself off.
“But what?” Sam asked. Dean was glancing at the squirrels in the trees near the building.
“I don't know-squirrels are so judgmental. And Cas-Cas has trouble fitting in anywhere.”
Sam couldn't say no. He couldn't stop laughing, either.
“Shut up, you're gonna attract too much attention,” Dean hissed.
“Are you actually going to help do research this time, or are you going to sleep?”
“Depends on how comfy the chairs are,” Dean said, taking a seat. “Oooh, that's nice. Wake me up in twenty, 'kay?”
Sam sighed and was taken by surprise when, in a quick movement, Castiel jumped from Dean's shoulder to Sam.
“Some warning would be nice. So,” Sam said, looking around to see if anyone was staring. “No idea on who did this to you?” Castiel responded quietly in Sam's ear, which he took to mean 'no.' After an hour of fruitless research on his computer, Sam decided to hit the stacks. They split up but stayed close, Castiel scurrying as quietly as possible along the shelves while Sam thumbed through some books.
“Let's go--” Sam said, looking around for Castiel. The squirrel was nowhere in sight. Frantically, Sam turned the corner and found Castiel staring intensely at a book.
“'Lawn Gnomes'?” Sam asked, picking up the book. But before Sam could inquire further, Castiel had shot off the shelf, running over to the next one. Sam followed, arriving just in time to see Castiel knock a book off the shelf and using his squirrel paws to turn to a page that said MAGICAL DWARVES.
Sam only had enough time to glimpse the title before the librarian appeared, yelling about rodents and rabies and inappropriate library decorum. It was loud enough to wake Dean, who followed Sam and Castiel after they were kicked out.
“So,”Dean said, rubbing his eyes in the driver's seat of the Impala. “Any luck?”
Castiel stayed by Sam's side as he did research on his laptop and Dean watched television. It was getting late, though, and Sam was making no progress. Apologizing to Cas, he decided to get ready for bed.
Though he'd never admit it, Dean was a little jealous of Sam and was wondering if Castiel was mad at him, or thought that Dean didn't care. But Dean continued to stare at the TV, trying to act like he wasn't thinking much about anything. He tried to prevent a single manly tear from falling out of his left eye.
There was a soft thud next to him and he turned to see squirrel-Castiel curling up next to him on the pillow.
“Hey, we'll get you back to your broody, non-fluffy human form in no time because this,” Dean said, “is weird.”
Sam had been up since dawn doing research, and he finally had his big break a few hours later After getting dressed, he woke up Dean and Cas.
“Wha,” Dean muttered.
“Castiel was cursed by a dwarf,” Sam said. “Probably in this town somewhere. We have to find it.”
Dean rolled over, looked at a very embarrassed squirrel, and let out a short laugh.
“Fine then,” Dean said. “Let's go.”
They followed Castiel, who was scurrying ahead of them rather quickly. He seemed to know where he was going. Rounding a corner, he gained speed until the Winchesters lost him for a while.
“Where'd he go?” Dean asked, looking around. Sam spotted the black squirrel standing on its hind legs, staring at a garden gnome.
“Cas, that's a garden gnome,” Sam said. Dean was leaning over to pick Castiel up when suddenly the garden gnome moved and Dean flinched.
“I am not a garden gnome,” the thing snarled, offended.
“What did you do to Cas?” Dean demanded.
“I turned him,” the dwarf said with exaggerated slowness. “into a squirrel.”
“I got that. Why'd you do it? You know what? I don't even care why, just turn him back,” Dean said. The dwarf laughed.
“Or else what? You think you can take me on?” The dwarf said. Dean and Sam looked at each other.
“Kind of, yeah,” Dean admitted.
“Fool,” the dwarf hissed. Humans were always so stupid and arrogant. “I'll turn you both into nuts and we'll see how much restraint your friend has in a few hours when his mind has been completely taken over by animal instinct.”
“Dude,” Sam whispered. “Dwarves are really powerful. We'll find another way.”
“You will not find another way,” the dwarf said. “Only the dwarf can undo its spell-and your friend here offended me. I will not be undoing the spell any time soon.”
“What exactly did Cas do to offend you?”
The dwarf glared. It had been a most undignified experience.
One day, while the dwarf was standing in front of someone's lawn, the man in the trench coat had knelt down to the dwarf's level and stared at him. The dwarf had stared back. The man continued staring, unblinking, and the dwarf had matched his gaze. For about twenty minutes, the two held a staring contest, but the man couldn't take it anymore, so he turned the dwarf face down. (It is unclear whether Castiel was aware that the dwarf was a living thing, or why he had a staring contest with what he thought was inanimate object.)
The dwarf waited for the man to leave before standing up. Shaking with fury, he cursed him to be a squirrel.
“That's not important. What's important is that he offended me, and I will sooner die than take back my curse. And dwarves,” he said, “live a very long time.”
Dean had liked having squirrel-Castiel around, but knowing that Castiel would soon be all human took the fun out of having him as an animal companion. Dean sat at the motel room's desk hunched over, scratching Castiel with one finger.
“Moping's not going to help,” Sam said, diligently doing more research.
“Apparently neither is research,” Dean grumbled. Sam had been researching for hours and the only thing he'd come up with was confirmation that only a dwarf can undo its spell. And 'hours' was the deadline the dwarf had given Sam and Dean before Castiel became completely squirrel.
“You know what might help?” a bored voice behind the Winchesters said. A man was sitting cross-legged on the bed. He lifted his hands and spread his fingers. “A little angel magic, maybe.”
“Yeah, the thing about angels is that they're dickholes. Big, gaping, dickholes.” Dean said.
The angel laughed, then moved his finger from Dean to Sam to Castiel and then back again. “So, which one of you is a squirrel? One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong-I'm going to guess...that.”
“You win, Elmo. Now, how about you do what you came here to do?” Dean said.
“Rahmiel, actually, and don't think I'm doing you any favors. I just get sick watching you and that...thing get all cuddly. At least when Castiel-Cas?--was a human, he kept his distance. Now he's sharing a bed, giving you his nuts--” Both Dean and Rahmiel sniggered. “It was as sickening as watching Lucifer pine over God. I bet if Castiel had thumbs he'd be writing you love poems just like old Luce. And don't even get me started on Azira--”
“I won't. In fact, I'll cut your off before you start,” Dean said. “Just lay your hands on him and do your thing.”
Sighing, Rahmiel got up and put a finger on Castiel. There was blinding light. Sam shielded his eyes in time but Dean caught a glimpse of Castiel's true form-only for a second, though, and it was hard to comprehend in that timespan, but Dean knew it was awesome. He couldn't stop grinning, even before he saw Castiel's familiar form staring in front of him.
“Dean,” Castiel said.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean smiled. “I'd hug you but your angel friend doesn't want us getting all cozy.”
“That's perfectly fine,” Castiel said, looking down at his vessel.
“Sickening,” Rahmiel said. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”
“You need better friends,” Dean said after Rahmiel left. “And better enemies, man. Seriously, you pissed off a freaking dwarf.
“Why would you even do that?” Sam asked.
Castiel avoided eye contact. “I had my reasons.”
“Well, it's good to have you back,” Dean smiled.
“Yes,” Castiel agreed. “Squirrel vessels are...cramped.”
“And I bet they're really...fixated on nuts.” Dean joked.
“Pardon?” Castiel asked as Sam groaned.
"Can we hold off on the crude humor until the Apocalypse is over?"
"No! I have a million more!" He'd been trying to limit his jokes until Castiel was cured, and now that Cas was better, he was going to really let it go.
Castiel would never live this misadventure down.
Title: There's Something About Cas
Recepient: tehopheliac
Author: vfdj42
Rating: PG
Warnings: Animal transformation? Original Angel? Mentions of God/Lucifer?
Spoilers: None
Summary: The prompt was "Castiel has been changed intro a squirrel. Dean has to take care of him for the duration and becomes really attached. They do everything together and Sam can't help but be amused by it all. (Requirement: squirrel!Castiel has to be nice to Sam too. Maybe he'll give Sam one of his nuts to share his breakfast, try to help him find a book or something small he lost, sleep on his bed during the day (but with/on Dean at night). Dean is secretly jealous. --Refer to sweet and funny like the above example/plant!fic instead of just hilarious!crack.) "
I tried to do that, um, more or less?
Author notes: A drive by reference to Good Omens; Rahmiel is an angel of love; and um...I think that's it. Oh, and my friend made up the stuff about dwarves and told me to use it, so I did.
Dean was sitting on a park bench, watching squirrels scurry across the ground. He didn't know what he was doing there-he was pretty sure he had more important things to do than watch squirrels play with their nuts.
He giggled at this.
“Something funny?”
“You wouldn't get it,” Dean muttered. “What is all this?”
“It's a dream,” Castiel said.
Dean sort of liked it when Castiel showed up in his dreams, but he tried to convince himself that he didn't. After all, it was weird and creepy, but then again, it was Castiel.
“I'd rather be fishing,” Dean decided
“And I'd rather be--” Castiel was cut off. The scene vanished, and Dean opened his eyes.
On the pillow next to him was a small black squirrel, staring at him. Dean stared right back, but he was confused while the squirrel was...intense.
Could squirrels be intense?
“Cas?” Dean muttered.
The squirrel chirped, or whatever squirrels do, and scurried around the pillow. Dean picked it up and held it to his face.
“Oh how the mighty have fallen,” Dean said with a smirk. The squirrel bristled and squeaked, annoyed. “Don't bite me. You don't have rabies or anything, do you?”
Castiel looked as indignant as it was possible for a squirrel to be.
Sam was waking up in the bed next to Dean. Groggy, he could have sworn he saw Dean holding some sort of animal.
“Dean,” Sam said. “Why is there a rodent in your bed?”
“It's Cas,” Dean smiled. “Isn't he cute?”
“Please,” Sam said, rubbing his eyes. “I haven't even had my coffee yet.”
“No pooping in the Impala,” Dean told Castiel as he slid into the driver's seat.
“Don't tease him,” Sam said. Sam thought that Dean should be more worried about why Castiel was a squirrel and he suggested they do some research, but Dean wanted breakfast before looking at a book. Sam got in the passenger seat and Castiel crawled onto his lap.
“Oh, let me have a little fun,” Dean insisted. “He'll be back to normal in no time.”
If he was being perfectly honest, Sam did like having a squirrelly Cas around. It was a little less unnerving having a soft, cuddly woodland creature around than a smiting, staring man. Sam pet Castiel, hoping that the angel wouldn't burn his eyes out, but he seemed to enjoy it. Dean glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.
“So, uh...what's this?” Dean asked, trying to hide his jealousy.
“Nothing,” Sam said, stopping immediately.
They pulled into the closest diner to the library, Castiel following Dean as he got out of the car and perching on his shoulder.
“Oh come on, what is this?” Dean said, trying to hide his smile. Take that, Sam, he thought. He felt really cool walking into the diner with a badass squirrrel on his shoulder.
“You're like a Disney princess,” Sam smirked.
“Um, two,” Dean said.
“Looks like three,” the waitress remarked. “No pets.”
Dean said, “He's, uh, he's not a pet, he's--”
“He's his best friend,” Sam said. “His only friend, actually.”
Dean glared at Sam, who ignored it, putting his arm around Dean instead.
“God, it must have been...eight years ago. The poor squirrel fell out of the tree, and Dean was heartbroken. Crying-sobbing, really. He begged me to nurse it back to health and ever since then, they've been inseparable.”
The waitress thought the squirrel was glaring at Sam, too. She didn't want to argue.
“Follow me,” she sighed.
“You are so going to pay for that,” Dean hissed. They slid into a booth and the waitress asked if they were ready to order.
“Um, I'll have the banana nut pancakes,” Dean said.
“And I'll have a fruit platter,” Sam said.
“Can I, uh, can I get some extra nuts?” Dean asked.
“Dean likes nuts,” Sam added.
“Well, Sam's a fruit,”
“Is there a reason you got banana nut pancakes?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged.
A little while later, the food was placed in front of them. Dean fed Castiel a nut with his fork before using the same fork to eat his breakfast. Sam watched as Castiel used his squirrel hands to pick through Dean's breakfast.
“That is so not hygienic,” he said, picking out some fruit and setting aside for Castiel.
“It's Cas,” Dean said, shrugging. Castiel placed a nut in front of Sam and watched him expectantly with his head tilted to the side.
“Thanks,” Sam said, hesitantly.
Castiel was chittering excitedly as they entered the library, so Dean had to take him off his shoulder and explain to him the ways of squirrel-human interaction outside the library door.
“Listen, you have to be quiet in here. You have to be quieter than humans because squirrels aren't even allowed in libraries,”
“Maybe he'd be better off...outside?” Sam said, trying to ignore the lingering glances of some girls walking into the library.
Dean cupped his hand around Cas protectively.
“But-“ Dean said, then cut himself off.
“But what?” Sam asked. Dean was glancing at the squirrels in the trees near the building.
“I don't know-squirrels are so judgmental. And Cas-Cas has trouble fitting in anywhere.”
Sam couldn't say no. He couldn't stop laughing, either.
“Shut up, you're gonna attract too much attention,” Dean hissed.
“Are you actually going to help do research this time, or are you going to sleep?”
“Depends on how comfy the chairs are,” Dean said, taking a seat. “Oooh, that's nice. Wake me up in twenty, 'kay?”
Sam sighed and was taken by surprise when, in a quick movement, Castiel jumped from Dean's shoulder to Sam.
“Some warning would be nice. So,” Sam said, looking around to see if anyone was staring. “No idea on who did this to you?” Castiel responded quietly in Sam's ear, which he took to mean 'no.' After an hour of fruitless research on his computer, Sam decided to hit the stacks. They split up but stayed close, Castiel scurrying as quietly as possible along the shelves while Sam thumbed through some books.
“Let's go--” Sam said, looking around for Castiel. The squirrel was nowhere in sight. Frantically, Sam turned the corner and found Castiel staring intensely at a book.
“'Lawn Gnomes'?” Sam asked, picking up the book. But before Sam could inquire further, Castiel had shot off the shelf, running over to the next one. Sam followed, arriving just in time to see Castiel knock a book off the shelf and using his squirrel paws to turn to a page that said MAGICAL DWARVES.
Sam only had enough time to glimpse the title before the librarian appeared, yelling about rodents and rabies and inappropriate library decorum. It was loud enough to wake Dean, who followed Sam and Castiel after they were kicked out.
“So,”Dean said, rubbing his eyes in the driver's seat of the Impala. “Any luck?”
Castiel stayed by Sam's side as he did research on his laptop and Dean watched television. It was getting late, though, and Sam was making no progress. Apologizing to Cas, he decided to get ready for bed.
Though he'd never admit it, Dean was a little jealous of Sam and was wondering if Castiel was mad at him, or thought that Dean didn't care. But Dean continued to stare at the TV, trying to act like he wasn't thinking much about anything. He tried to prevent a single manly tear from falling out of his left eye.
There was a soft thud next to him and he turned to see squirrel-Castiel curling up next to him on the pillow.
“Hey, we'll get you back to your broody, non-fluffy human form in no time because this,” Dean said, “is weird.”
Sam had been up since dawn doing research, and he finally had his big break a few hours later After getting dressed, he woke up Dean and Cas.
“Wha,” Dean muttered.
“Castiel was cursed by a dwarf,” Sam said. “Probably in this town somewhere. We have to find it.”
Dean rolled over, looked at a very embarrassed squirrel, and let out a short laugh.
“Fine then,” Dean said. “Let's go.”
They followed Castiel, who was scurrying ahead of them rather quickly. He seemed to know where he was going. Rounding a corner, he gained speed until the Winchesters lost him for a while.
“Where'd he go?” Dean asked, looking around. Sam spotted the black squirrel standing on its hind legs, staring at a garden gnome.
“Cas, that's a garden gnome,” Sam said. Dean was leaning over to pick Castiel up when suddenly the garden gnome moved and Dean flinched.
“I am not a garden gnome,” the thing snarled, offended.
“What did you do to Cas?” Dean demanded.
“I turned him,” the dwarf said with exaggerated slowness. “into a squirrel.”
“I got that. Why'd you do it? You know what? I don't even care why, just turn him back,” Dean said. The dwarf laughed.
“Or else what? You think you can take me on?” The dwarf said. Dean and Sam looked at each other.
“Kind of, yeah,” Dean admitted.
“Fool,” the dwarf hissed. Humans were always so stupid and arrogant. “I'll turn you both into nuts and we'll see how much restraint your friend has in a few hours when his mind has been completely taken over by animal instinct.”
“Dude,” Sam whispered. “Dwarves are really powerful. We'll find another way.”
“You will not find another way,” the dwarf said. “Only the dwarf can undo its spell-and your friend here offended me. I will not be undoing the spell any time soon.”
“What exactly did Cas do to offend you?”
The dwarf glared. It had been a most undignified experience.
One day, while the dwarf was standing in front of someone's lawn, the man in the trench coat had knelt down to the dwarf's level and stared at him. The dwarf had stared back. The man continued staring, unblinking, and the dwarf had matched his gaze. For about twenty minutes, the two held a staring contest, but the man couldn't take it anymore, so he turned the dwarf face down. (It is unclear whether Castiel was aware that the dwarf was a living thing, or why he had a staring contest with what he thought was inanimate object.)
The dwarf waited for the man to leave before standing up. Shaking with fury, he cursed him to be a squirrel.
“That's not important. What's important is that he offended me, and I will sooner die than take back my curse. And dwarves,” he said, “live a very long time.”
Dean had liked having squirrel-Castiel around, but knowing that Castiel would soon be all human took the fun out of having him as an animal companion. Dean sat at the motel room's desk hunched over, scratching Castiel with one finger.
“Moping's not going to help,” Sam said, diligently doing more research.
“Apparently neither is research,” Dean grumbled. Sam had been researching for hours and the only thing he'd come up with was confirmation that only a dwarf can undo its spell. And 'hours' was the deadline the dwarf had given Sam and Dean before Castiel became completely squirrel.
“You know what might help?” a bored voice behind the Winchesters said. A man was sitting cross-legged on the bed. He lifted his hands and spread his fingers. “A little angel magic, maybe.”
“Yeah, the thing about angels is that they're dickholes. Big, gaping, dickholes.” Dean said.
The angel laughed, then moved his finger from Dean to Sam to Castiel and then back again. “So, which one of you is a squirrel? One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong-I'm going to guess...that.”
“You win, Elmo. Now, how about you do what you came here to do?” Dean said.
“Rahmiel, actually, and don't think I'm doing you any favors. I just get sick watching you and that...thing get all cuddly. At least when Castiel-Cas?--was a human, he kept his distance. Now he's sharing a bed, giving you his nuts--” Both Dean and Rahmiel sniggered. “It was as sickening as watching Lucifer pine over God. I bet if Castiel had thumbs he'd be writing you love poems just like old Luce. And don't even get me started on Azira--”
“I won't. In fact, I'll cut your off before you start,” Dean said. “Just lay your hands on him and do your thing.”
Sighing, Rahmiel got up and put a finger on Castiel. There was blinding light. Sam shielded his eyes in time but Dean caught a glimpse of Castiel's true form-only for a second, though, and it was hard to comprehend in that timespan, but Dean knew it was awesome. He couldn't stop grinning, even before he saw Castiel's familiar form staring in front of him.
“Dean,” Castiel said.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean smiled. “I'd hug you but your angel friend doesn't want us getting all cozy.”
“That's perfectly fine,” Castiel said, looking down at his vessel.
“Sickening,” Rahmiel said. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”
“You need better friends,” Dean said after Rahmiel left. “And better enemies, man. Seriously, you pissed off a freaking dwarf.
“Why would you even do that?” Sam asked.
Castiel avoided eye contact. “I had my reasons.”
“Well, it's good to have you back,” Dean smiled.
“Yes,” Castiel agreed. “Squirrel vessels are...cramped.”
“And I bet they're really...fixated on nuts.” Dean joked.
“Pardon?” Castiel asked as Sam groaned.
"Can we hold off on the crude humor until the Apocalypse is over?"
"No! I have a million more!" He'd been trying to limit his jokes until Castiel was cured, and now that Cas was better, he was going to really let it go.
Castiel would never live this misadventure down.